CHAPTER V. TREATMENT OF BROTHERS AND SISTERS, AND OTHERS IN THE FAMILY.

The family is a little kingdom in miniature. The father and mother are king and queen; and children, and others residing in the family, are the subjects. I have treated at large, in the last chapter, on your duties to your parents; but I must not pass over your behavior towards the other members of the family. And here, I wish you to keep in mind all I have said about the formation of character. Remember, that the character you form in the family will, in all probability, follow you through life. As you are regarded by your own brothers and sisters at home, so, in a great measure, will you be regarded by others, when you leave your father’s house. If you are manly¹, amiable², kind, and courteous³, at home, so you will continue to be; and these traits of character will always make you beloved. But if you are peevish⁴, ill-natured, harsh, uncourteous, or overbearing, at home, among your own brothers and sisters, so will you[38] be abroad; and, instead of being beloved, you will be disliked and shunned⁵.

The best general direction that I can give is, that you carry out the golden rule in your behavior toward your brothers and sisters, and all other persons who reside in the family. If you do to them as you would wish them to do to you, all will be well. But I must be a little more particular. Boys are often disposed to assume a dictatorial⁶, domineering air toward their sisters, as though they thought themselves born to rule, and were determined⁷ to exercise their dominion⁸ over their sisters, because they have not strength to resist their tyranny. But I can hardly think of any thing more unmanly. It shows a very mean spirit, destitute⁹ of noble and generous feelings, to take advantage of the weakness of others to tyrannize over them. But to do this to those who, by the relation they bear to you, are entitled to your love and protection, is base beyond description. The same is true, though perhaps in a less degree, in regard to the conduct of an elder toward a younger brother.

A brother should be kind, tender, courteous, and delicate, in his behavior toward his sisters, never treating them with rudeness or neglect, and standing¹⁰ ready always to protect them from the rudeness of other boys. He should never speak gruffly[39] to them, nor in a lordly, domineering, or contemptuous manner. Such conduct toward other misses or young ladies would be esteemed¹¹ very unhandsome and ungentlemanly; and why should it not be so esteemed at home? Are your own sisters entitled to less respect than strangers?

Accustom¹² yourself to make confidants of your sisters. Let them understand your feelings, and know your designs; and pay a suitable regard to their advice. By this means you may be saved from many a snare¹³, and you will secure their affection and sympathy. Never form any design, or engage in any enterprise, which you are ashamed to divulge¹⁴ to them. If you do, you may be sure it will not end well.

One rule, well observed at home, among brothers and sisters, would go far towards making them accomplished¹⁵ gentlemen and ladies, in their manners:—Be courteous to each other. Never allow yourself to treat your brothers or sisters in a manner that would be considered rude or ungentlemanly, if done to other young persons visiting in the family. Especially, never allow yourself to play tricks upon them, to teaze them, or, in a coarse, rough manner, to criticize or ridicule¹⁶ their conduct, especially in the presence of others. But if you see any thing that you think needs reforming, kindly¹⁷ remind[40] them of it in private. This will have a much better effect than if you mortify¹⁸ them, by exposing their faults before company. Be careful of their feelings, and never needlessly injure them.

Boys sometimes take delight in crossing the feelings of their brothers and sisters, interfering¹⁹ with their plans, and vexing²⁰ them, out of sheer mischief²¹. Such conduct is especially unamiable, and it will tend to promote ill-will and contention²² in the family. Be not fond of informing against them. If they do any thing very much amiss, it will be your duty to acquaint your parents with it. But in little things, of small moment, it is better for you kindly to remonstrate²³ with them, but not to appeal to your parents. In some families, when the children are at home, your ears are continually ringing with the unwelcome sounds, “Mother, John”—“Father, Susan”—“Mother, George,” &c.—a perpetual string of complaints, which makes the place more like a bedlam²⁴ than a quiet, sweet home. There is no sight more unlovely than a quarrelsome family,—no place on earth more undesirable²⁵ than a family of brothers and sisters who are perpetually contending with each other. But I know of no place, this side heaven, so sweet and attractive as the home of a family of brothers and sisters, always smiling and happy,[41] full of kindness and love, delighting in each other’s happiness, and striving how much each can oblige the other. If you would have your home such a place, you must not be selfish; you must not be too particular about maintaining your own rights; but be ready always to yield rather than to contend. This will generally have the effect to produce the same disposition²⁶ in your brothers and sisters; and then the strife²⁷ will be, which can be most generous.

Be noble and generous in your treatment of domestics. Never be so mean as to domineer over the hired men or women employed about the house, or in the field. Keep out of the kitchen as much as possible. But if you are obliged to go there, remember that you are on the cook’s premises²⁸. Keep out of her way, and be careful not to put things out of their place, or make litter. Nothing is more annoying to her than such conduct, because it interferes²⁹ with her efforts to keep things in order, and increases her labor³⁰. Never ask servants to help you, when you are able to help yourself. It is very provoking to them to be called to wait on the little gentlemen about house. Cultivate independence of character, and help yourself. You will never be fit for any business, if you always depend on others to help you in little every-day affairs.
 
Young men and boys should cultivate a love of home as a defence against the temptations to frequent bad company and places of resort dangerous to their morals. A boy or a young man, who is deeply and warmly attached to his mother and sisters, will prefer their society to that of the depraved and worthless; and he will not be tempted³¹ to go abroad in search of pleasure, when he finds so much at home. It is a delusive³² idea, that any greater pleasure can be found abroad than is to be enjoyed at home; and that boy or young man is in a dangerous way, to whom the society of his mother and sisters has become insipid³³ and uninteresting. When you feel any inclination³⁴ to go abroad in search of forbidden pleasure, I advise you to sit down with your sisters, and sing, “Home, sweet home.” And here I may say that the cultivation³⁵ of music will add much to the attractions of home. It is a delightful³⁶ recreation. It soothes³⁷ the feelings, sweetens the temper, and refines the taste. In addition to the cultivation of the voice, and the practice of vocal³⁸ music, you will find great satisfaction in learning to play on some instrument of music, to be able to carry your part on the flute³⁹ or viol. This will greatly diminish the temptation to go abroad for amusement; and in proportion as you find your pleasure at home,[43] will you be safe from those evil influences which have proved the destruction of so many boys.

But perhaps you are an only child. Then you will enjoy the exclusive affections and attention of your parents, without a rival. But you will lose the advantage of the society of brothers and sisters. The former will be no benefit; for parents do not abate⁴⁰ their love to their first-born, when others are added to their number. But the exclusive love to an only child often degenerates⁴¹ into excessive indulgence. The society of brothers and sisters, though it often tries the temper, yet contributes greatly to the happiness of a child. It provides a wholesome⁴² discipline, and affords the means of learning how to behave among equals; which an only child cannot learn at home. You will be likely to think too much of yourself, because you will receive the exclusive attentions of your parents, and will not have before you the daily example of your equals. These things you must guard against; and endeavor to make up the deficiency, by carrying out the hints I have given, in the society of other children, wherever you meet them.

In conclusion, I will give you one little family rule. You may think it a very little one; but it is able to do wonders. If you will try it one[44] week, and never deviate⁴³ from it, I will promise you the happiest week you ever enjoyed. And, more than this, you will diffuse⁴⁴ such a sunshine about you as to make others happy also. My little rule is this: Never be cross.

1 manly   

adj.有男子气概的；adv.男子般地，果断地

参考例句：

• The boy walked with a confident manly stride.这男孩以自信的男人步伐行走。
• He set himself manly tasks and expected others to follow his example.他给自己定下了男子汉的任务，并希望别人效之。

2 amiable   

adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的

参考例句：

• She was a very kind and amiable old woman.她是个善良和气的老太太。
• We have a very amiable companionship.我们之间存在一种友好的关系。

3 courteous   

adj.彬彬有礼的，客气的

参考例句：

• Although she often disagreed with me,she was always courteous.尽管她常常和我意见不一，但她总是很谦恭有礼。
• He was a kind and courteous man.他为人友善，而且彬彬有礼。

4 peevish   

adj.易怒的，坏脾气的

参考例句：

• A peevish child is unhappy and makes others unhappy.一个脾气暴躁的孩子自己不高兴也使别人不高兴。
• She glared down at me with a peevish expression on her face.她低头瞪着我，一脸怒气。

5 shunned   

v.避开，回避，避免( shun的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• She was shunned by her family when she remarried. 她再婚后家里人都躲着她。
• He was a shy man who shunned all publicity. 他是个怕羞的人，总是避开一切引人注目的活动。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 dictatorial   

adj. 独裁的，专断的

参考例句：

• Her father is very dictatorial.她父亲很专横。
• For years the nation had been under the heel of a dictatorial regime.多年来这个国家一直在独裁政权的铁蹄下。

7 determined   

adj.坚定的；有决心的

参考例句：

• I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
• He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。

8 dominion   

n.统治，管辖，支配权；领土，版图

参考例句：

• Alexander held dominion over a vast area.亚历山大曾统治过辽阔的地域。
• In the affluent society,the authorities are hardly forced to justify their dominion.在富裕社会里，当局几乎无需证明其统治之合理。

9 destitute   

adj.缺乏的；穷困的

参考例句：

• They were destitute of necessaries of life.他们缺少生活必需品。
• They are destitute of common sense.他们缺乏常识。

10 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

11 esteemed   

adj.受人尊敬的v.尊敬( esteem的过去式和过去分词 )；敬重；认为；以为

参考例句：

• The art of conversation is highly esteemed in France. 在法国十分尊重谈话技巧。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He esteemed that he understood what I had said. 他认为已经听懂我说的意思了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

12 accustom   

vt.使适应，使习惯

参考例句：

• It took him a while to accustom himself to the idea.他过了一段时间才习惯这个想法。
• It'shouldn't take long to accustom your students to working in groups.你的学生应该很快就会习惯分组学习的。

13 snare   

n.陷阱，诱惑，圈套；（去除息肉或者肿瘤的）勒除器；响弦，小军鼓；vt.以陷阱捕获，诱惑

参考例句：

• I used to snare small birds such as sparrows.我曾常用罗网捕捉麻雀等小鸟。
• Most of the people realized that their scheme was simply a snare and a delusion.大多数人都认识到他们的诡计不过是一个骗人的圈套。

14 divulge   

v.泄漏(秘密等)；宣布，公布

参考例句：

• They refused to divulge where they had hidden the money.他们拒绝说出他们把钱藏在什么地方。
• He swore never to divulge the secret.他立誓决不泄露秘密。

15 accomplished   

adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的

参考例句：

• Thanks to your help,we accomplished the task ahead of schedule.亏得你们帮忙,我们才提前完成了任务。
• Removal of excess heat is accomplished by means of a radiator.通过散热器完成多余热量的排出。

16 ridicule   

v.讥讽，挖苦；n.嘲弄

参考例句：

• You mustn't ridicule unfortunate people.你不该嘲笑不幸的人。
• Silly mistakes and queer clothes often arouse ridicule.荒谬的错误和古怪的服装常会引起人们的讪笑。

17 kindly   

adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地

参考例句：

• Her neighbours spoke of her as kindly and hospitable.她的邻居都说她和蔼可亲、热情好客。
• A shadow passed over the kindly face of the old woman.一道阴影掠过老太太慈祥的面孔。

18 mortify   

v.克制，禁欲，使受辱

参考例句：

• The first Sunday,in particular,their behaviours served to mortify me.到了这里第一个星期，她们的行为几乎把我气死。
• For if ye live after the flesh,ye shall die:but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body,ye shall live.你们若顺从肉体活着必要死。若靠着圣灵治死身体的恶行必要活着。

19 interfering   

adj. 妨碍的 动词interfere的现在分词

参考例句：

• He's an interfering old busybody! 他老爱管闲事！
• I wish my mother would stop interfering and let me make my own decisions. 我希望我母亲不再干预，让我自己拿主意。

20 vexing   

adj.使人烦恼的，使人恼火的v.使烦恼( vex的现在分词 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论

参考例句：

• It is vexing to have to wait a long time for him. 长时间地等他真使人厌烦。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• Lately a vexing problem had grown infuriatingly worse. 最近发生了一个讨厌的问题，而且严重到令人发指的地步。 来自辞典例句

21 mischief   

n.损害，伤害，危害；恶作剧，捣蛋，胡闹

参考例句：

• Nobody took notice of the mischief of the matter. 没有人注意到这件事情所带来的危害。
• He seems to intend mischief.看来他想捣蛋。

22 contention   

n.争论，争辩，论战；论点，主张

参考例句：

• The pay increase is the key point of contention. 加薪是争论的焦点。
• The real bone of contention,as you know,is money.你知道，争论的真正焦点是钱的问题。

23 remonstrate   

v.抗议，规劝

参考例句：

• He remonstrated with the referee.他向裁判抗议。
• I jumped in the car and went to remonstrate.我跳进汽车去提出抗议。

24 bedlam   

n.混乱，骚乱；疯人院

参考例句：

• He is causing bedlam at the hotel.他正搅得旅馆鸡犬不宁。
• When the teacher was called away the classroom was a regular bedlam.当老师被叫走的时候，教室便喧闹不堪。

25 undesirable   

adj.不受欢迎的，不良的，不合意的，讨厌的；n.不受欢迎的人，不良分子

参考例句：

• They are the undesirable elements among the employees.他们是雇员中的不良分子。
• Certain chemicals can induce undesirable changes in the nervous system.有些化学物质能在神经系统中引起不良变化。

26 disposition   

n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署

参考例句：

• He has made a good disposition of his property.他已对财产作了妥善处理。
• He has a cheerful disposition.他性情开朗。

27 strife   

n.争吵，冲突，倾轧，竞争

参考例句：

• We do not intend to be drawn into the internal strife.我们不想卷入内乱之中。
• Money is a major cause of strife in many marriages.金钱是造成很多婚姻不和的一个主要原因。

28 premises   

n.建筑物，房屋

参考例句：

• According to the rules,no alcohol can be consumed on the premises.按照规定，场内不准饮酒。
• All repairs are done on the premises and not put out.全部修缮都在家里进行，不用送到外面去做。

29 interferes   

vi. 妨碍，冲突，干涉

参考例句：

• The noise interferes with my work. 这噪音妨碍我的工作。
• That interferes with my plan. 那干扰了我的计划。

30 labor   

n.劳动，努力，工作，劳工；分娩；vi.劳动，努力，苦干；vt.详细分析；麻烦

参考例句：

• We are never late in satisfying him for his labor.我们从不延误付给他劳动报酬。
• He was completely spent after two weeks of hard labor.艰苦劳动两周后，他已经疲惫不堪了。

31 tempted   

v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词）

参考例句：

• I was sorely tempted to complain, but I didn't. 我极想发牢骚，但还是没开口。
• I was tempted by the dessert menu. 甜食菜单馋得我垂涎欲滴。

32 delusive   

adj.欺骗的，妄想的

参考例句：

• Most of the people realized that their scheme was simply a delusive snare.大多数人都认识到他们的诡计不过是一个骗人的圈套。
• Everyone knows that fairy isles are delusive and illusive things,still everyone wishes they were real.明知神山缥缈，却愿其有。

33 insipid   

adj.无味的，枯燥乏味的，单调的

参考例句：

• The food was rather insipid and needed gingering up.这食物缺少味道，需要加点作料。
• She said she was a good cook,but the food she cooked is insipid.她说她是个好厨师，但她做的食物却是无味道的。

34 inclination   

n.倾斜；点头；弯腰；斜坡；倾度；倾向；爱好

参考例句：

• She greeted us with a slight inclination of the head.她微微点头向我们致意。
• I did not feel the slightest inclination to hurry.我没有丝毫着急的意思。

35 cultivation   

n.耕作，培养，栽培（法），养成

参考例句：

• The cultivation in good taste is our main objective.培养高雅情趣是我们的主要目标。
• The land is not fertile enough to repay cultivation.这块土地不够肥沃，不值得耕种。

36 delightful   

adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的

参考例句：

• We had a delightful time by the seashore last Sunday.上星期天我们在海滨玩得真痛快。
• Peter played a delightful melody on his flute.彼得用笛子吹奏了一支欢快的曲子。

37 soothes   

v.安慰( soothe的第三人称单数 )；抚慰；使舒服；减轻痛苦

参考例句：

• Fear grasps, love lets go. Fear rankles, love soothes. 恐惧使人痛心，爱使痛苦减轻。 来自互联网
• His loe celebrates her victories and soothes her wounds. 他的爱庆祝她的胜利，也抚平她的创伤。 来自互联网

38 vocal   

adj.直言不讳的；嗓音的；n.[pl.]声乐节目

参考例句：

• The tongue is a vocal organ.舌头是一个发音器官。
• Public opinion at last became vocal.终于舆论哗然。

39 flute   

n.长笛；v.吹笛

参考例句：

• He took out his flute, and blew at it.他拿出笛子吹了起来。
• There is an extensive repertoire of music written for the flute.有很多供长笛演奏的曲目。

40 abate   

vi.(风势，疼痛等)减弱，减轻，减退

参考例句：

• We must abate the noise pollution in our city.我们必须消除我们城里的噪音污染。
• The doctor gave him some medicine to abate the powerful pain.医生给了他一些药，以减弱那剧烈的疼痛。

41 degenerates   

衰退，堕落，退化( degenerate的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• Liberty often degenerates into lawlessness. 自由常常变质为无法无天。
• Her health degenerates rapidly. 她的健康状况迅速恶化。

42 wholesome   

adj.适合；卫生的；有益健康的；显示身心健康的

参考例句：

• In actual fact the things I like doing are mostly wholesome.实际上我喜欢做的事大都是有助于增进身体健康的。
• It is not wholesome to eat without washing your hands.不洗手吃饭是不卫生的。

43 deviate   

v.(from)背离，偏离

参考例句：

• Don't deviate from major issues.不要偏离主要问题。
• I will never deviate from what I believe to be right.我绝不背离我自信正确的道路。

44 diffuse   

v.扩散；传播；adj.冗长的；四散的，弥漫的

参考例句：

• Direct light is better for reading than diffuse light.直射光比漫射光更有利于阅读。
• His talk was so diffuse that I missed his point.他的谈话漫无边际，我抓不住他的要点。