"But of course. I almost missed it, even after you practically drew me a diagram. If I could read minds, just as soon as anybody found it out, he'd be afraid of me, or hate me, like the book said, and you said, too. If you believed it, you'd do something like having me locked up in a hospital, maybe, instead of...."
"Instead of what, Lucilla?"
"Instead of being patient, and nice, and helping2 me see how silly I've been." She reached out impulsively3 to touch his hand, then withdrew her own, feeling somewhat foolish when he made no move to respond. Her relief was too great, however, to be contained in silence. "Way back the first time I came in, almost, you said that before we finished therapy, you'd know me better than I knew myself. I didn't believe you—maybe I didn't want to—but I begin to think you were right. Lot of times, lately, you've answered a question before I even asked it. Sometimes you haven't even bothered to answer—you've just sat there in your big brown chair and I've lain here on the couch, and we've gone through something together without using words at all...." She had started out almost gaily4, the words spilling over each other in their rush to be said, but bit by bit she slowed down, then faltered5 to a stop. After she had stopped talking altogether, she could still hear her last few phrases, repeated over and over, like an echo that refused to die. (Answered ... before I even asked ... without using words at all ... without using words....)
She could almost taste the terror that clogged6 her throat and dried her lips. "You do believe it. And you could have me locked up. Only ... only...." Fragments of thought, splinters of words, and droplets7 of silence spun8 into a kaleidoscopic9 jumble10, shifted infinitesimally, and fell into an incredible new pattern. Understanding displaced terror and was, in turn, displaced by indignation. She stared accusingly at her interrogator11. "But you look just like ... just like anybody."
"You expected perhaps three legs or a long bushy tail or teeth like that textbook tiger?"
"And you're a psychiatrist12!"
"What else? Would you have talked to me like this across a grocery counter, Lucilla? Or listened to me, if I'd been driving a bus or filling a prescription13? Would I have found the others in a bowling14 alley15 or a business office?"
"Then there are ... others?" She let out her breath on a long sigh involuntarily glancing again at the framed picture. "Only I love Paul, and he isn't ... he can't...."
"Nor can Carol." His eyes were steady on hers, yet she felt as if he were looking through and beyond her. For no reason at all, she strained her ears for the sound of footsteps or the summons of a voice. "Where do you suppose the second little blob of protoplasm with legs came from?" Dr. Andrews asked. "And the third? If that ape who found he could stand erect16 had walked lonesomely off into the sunset like a second-rate actor on a late, late show, where do you suppose you'd be today?"
He broke off abruptly17 and watched with Lucilla as the office door edged open. The small girl who inched her way around it wore blue jeans and a pony18 tail rather than an organdy frock and curls, but her pixie smile matched that of the girl in the photograph Lucilla had glanced at again and again.
"You wanted me, Daddy?" she asked, but she looked toward Lucilla.
"I thought you'd like to meet someone with the same nickname as yours," Dr. Andrews said, rising to greet her. "Lucky, meet Lucky."
"Hello," the child said, then her smile widened. "Hello!" (But I don't have to say it, do I? I can talk to you just the way I talk to Daddy and Uncle Whitney and Big Bill).
"Hello yourself," said Lucilla. This time when the corners of her mouth began to tick upward, she made no attempt to stop them. (Of course you can, darling. And I can answer you the same way, and you'll hear me.)
Dr. Andrews reached for the open pack of cigarettes on his deck. (Is this strictly19 a private conversation, girls, or can I get in on it, too?)
(It's unpolite to interrupt, Daddy.)
(He's not exactly interrupting—it was his conversation to begin with!)
Dr. Andrews' receptionist paused briefly20 beside the still-open office door. None of them heard either her gentle rap or the soft click of the latch21 slipping into place when she pushed the door shut.
Nor did she hear them.
The End
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1
peremptory
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| adj.紧急的，专横的，断然的 | |
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helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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impulsively
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| adv.冲动地 | |
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gaily
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| adv.欢乐地，高兴地 | |
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5
faltered
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| （嗓音）颤抖( falter的过去式和过去分词 )； 支吾其词； 蹒跚； 摇晃 | |
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clogged
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| （使）阻碍( clog的过去式和过去分词 )； 淤滞 | |
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7
droplets
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| n.小滴( droplet的名词复数 ) | |
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8
spun
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| v.纺，杜撰，急转身 | |
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kaleidoscopic
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| adj.千变万化的 | |
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10
jumble
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| vt.使混乱，混杂；n.混乱；杂乱的一堆 | |
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11
interrogator
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| n.讯问者；审问者；质问者；询问器 | |
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12
psychiatrist
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| n.精神病专家；精神病医师 | |
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13
prescription
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| n.处方，开药；指示，规定 | |
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14
bowling
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| n.保龄球运动 | |
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15
alley
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| n.小巷，胡同；小径，小路 | |
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16
erect
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| n./v.树立，建立，使竖立；adj.直立的，垂直的 | |
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17
abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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18
pony
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| adj.小型的；n.小马 | |
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19
strictly
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| adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地 | |
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briefly
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| adv.简单地，简短地 | |
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latch
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| n.门闩，窗闩；弹簧锁 | |
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