When Paul heard that, he was sorely tempted2 to put off the disclosure for the present; but he felt he must not. So that same night, as they sat together in the dusk near the window where the geraniums stood, he began to unburden his whole mind, gently and tentatively, so as to spare their feelings as much as possible, to his father and mother. He told them how, since he went to Oxford3, he had learned to think somewhat differently about many things; how his ideas had gradually deepened and broadened; how he had begun to inquire into fundamentals for himself; how he had feared that the Gideonites took too much for granted, and reposed4 too implicitly5 on the supposed critical learning of their Apostle. As he spoke6 his mother listened in tearful silence; but his father murmured from time to time, "I was afeard of this already, Paul;[Pg 182] I seen it coming, now and again, long ago." There was pity and regret in his tone, but not a shade of reproachfulness.
At last, however, Paul came to speak, timidly and reservedly, of Meenie. Then his father's eye began to flash a little, and his breath came deeper and harder. When Paul told him briefly7 that he was engaged to her, the strong man could stand it no longer. He rose up in righteous wrath8, and thrust his son at arm's length from him. "What!" he cried fiercely, "you don't mean to tell me you have fallen into sin and looked upon the daughters of Midian! It was no Scriptural doubts that druv you on, then, but the desire of the flesh and the lust9 of the eyes that has lost you! You dare to stand up there, Paul Owen, and tell me that you throw over the Church and the Apostle for the sake of a girl, like a poor miserable10 Samson! You are no son of mine, and I have nothin' more to say to you."
But Margaret Owen put her hand on his shoulder and said softly, "John, let us hear him out." And John, recalled by that gentle touch, listened once more. Then Paul pleaded his case powerfully again. He quoted Scripture11 to them; he argued with them, after their own fashion, and down to their own comprehension, text by text; he pitted his own critical and exegetical12 faculty13 against the Apostle's. Last of all, he turned to his mother, who, tearful still and heart-broken with disappointment, yet looked admiringly upon her learned, eloquent14 boy, and said to her tenderly, "Remember, mother, you yourself were once in love. You yourself once stood, night after night, leaning on the gate, waiting with your heart beating for a footstep that you knew so well. You yourself once counted the days and the hours and the minutes till the next meeting came." And Margaret Owen, touched to the heart by that simple appeal, kissed him fervently15 a dozen times over, the hot tears[Pg 183] dropping on his cheek meanwhile; and then, contrary to all the rules of their austere16 Church, she flung her arms round her husband too, and kissed him passionately17 the first time for twenty years, with all the fervour of a floodgate loosed. Paul Owen's apostolate had surely borne its first fruit.
The father stood for a moment in doubt and terror, like one stunned18 or dazed, and then, in a moment of sudden remembrance, stepped forward and returned the kiss. The spell was broken, and the Apostle's power was no more. What else passed in the cottage that night, when John Owen fell upon his knees and wrestled19 in spirit, was too wholly internal to the man's own soul for telling here. Next day John and Margaret Owen felt the dream of their lives was gone; but the mother in her heart rejoiced to think her boy might know the depths of love, and might bring home a real lady for his wife.
On Sunday it was rumoured20 that the Apostle's ailment21 was very serious; but young Brother Paul Owen would address the Church. He did so, though not exactly in the way the Church expected. He told them simply and plainly how he had changed his views about certain matters; how he thanked them from his heart for the loan of their money (he was careful to emphasize the word loan), which had helped him to carry on his education at Oxford; and how he would repay them the principal and interest, though he could never repay them the kindness, at the earliest possible opportunity. He was so grave, so earnest, so transparently22 true, that, in spite of the downfall of their dearest hopes, he carried the whole meeting with him, all save one man. That man was Job Grimshaw. Job rose from his place with a look of undisguised triumph as soon as Paul had finished, and, mounting the platform quietly, said his say.
"I knew, Episcops, Presbyters, and Brethren," he began, "how this 'ere young man would finish. I saw it the day he was appinted. He's flushing[Pg 184] up now the same as he flushed up then when I spoke to him; and it ain't sperritual, it's worldly pride and headstrongness, that's what it is. He's had our money, and he's had his eddication, and now he's going to round on us, just as I said he would. It's all very well talking about paying us back: how's a young man like him to get five hundred pounds, I should like to know. And if he did even, what sort o' repayment23 would that be to many of the brethren, who've saved and scraped for five year to let him live like a gentleman among the great and the mighty24 o' Midian? He's got his eddication out of us, and he can keep that whatever happens, and make a living out of it, too; and now he's going back on us, same as I said he would, and, having got all he can out of the Church, he's going to chuck it away like a sucked orange. I detest25 such backsliding and such ungratefulness."
Paul's cup of humiliation26 was full, but he bit his lip till the blood almost came, and made no answer.
"He boasted in his own strength," Job went on mercilessly, "that he wasn't going to be a backslider, and he wasn't going to sign no bond, and he wasn't going to confer with us, but we must trust his honour and honesty, and such like. I've got his very words written down in my notebook 'ere; for I made a note of 'em, foreseeing this. If we'd 'a' bound him down, as I proposed, he wouldn't 'a' dared to go backsliding and rounding on us, and making up to the daughters of Midian, as I don't doubt but what he's been doing." Paul's tell-tale face showed him at once that he had struck by accident on the right chord. "But if he ever goes bringing a daughter of Midian here to Peckham," Job continued, "we'll show her these very notes, and ask her what she thinks of such dishonourable conduct. The Apostle's dying, that's clear; and before he dies I warrant he shall know this treachery."
Paul could not stand that last threat. Though he had lost faith in the[Pg 185] Apostle as an Apostle, he could never forget the allegiance he had once borne him as a father, or the spell which his powerful individuality had once thrown around him as a teacher. To have embittered27 that man's dying bed with the shadow of a terrible disappointment would be to Paul a lifelong subject of deep remorse28. "I did not intend to open my mouth in answer to you, Mr. Grimshaw," he said (for the first time breaking through the customary address of Brother), "but I pray you, I entreat29 you, I beseech30 you, not to harass31 the Apostle in his last moments with such a subject."
"Oh yes, I suppose so," Job Grimshaw answered maliciously32, all the ingrained coarseness of the man breaking out in the wrinkles of his face. "No wonder you don't want him enlightened about your goings on with the daughters of Midian, when you must know as well as I do that his life ain't worth a day's purchase, and that he's a man of independent means, and has left you every penny he's got in his will, because he believes you're a fit successor to the Apostolate. I know it, for I signed as a witness, and I read it through, being a short one, while the other witness was signing. And you must know it as well as I do. I suppose you don't think he'll make another will now; but there's time enough to burn that one anyhow."
Paul Owen stood aghast at the vulgar baseness of which this lewd33 fellow supposed him capable. He had never thought of it before; and yet it flashed across his mind in a moment how obvious it was now. Of course the Apostle would leave him his money. He was being educated for the Apostolate, and the Apostolate could not be carried on without the sinews of war. But that Job Grimshaw should think him guilty of angling for the Apostle's money, and then throwing the Church overboard—the bare notion of it was so horrible to him that he could not even hold up his head to answer the taunt34. He sat down and buried his crimson35 face[Pg 186] in his hands; and Job Grimshaw, taking up his hat sturdily, with the air of a man who has to perform an unpleasant duty, left the meeting-room abruptly36 without another word.
There was a gloomy Sunday dinner that morning in the mason's cottage, and nobody seemed much inclined to speak in any way. But as they were in the midst of their solemn meal, a neighbour who was also a Gideonite came in hurriedly. "It's all over," he said, breathless—"all over with us and with the Church. The Apostle is dead. He died this morning."
Margaret Owen found voice to ask, "Before Job Grimshaw saw him?"
The neighbour nodded, "Yes."
"Thank heaven for that!" cried Paul. "Then he did not die misunderstanding me!"
"And you'll get his money," added the neighbour, "for I was the other witness."
Paul drew a long breath. "I wish Meenie was here," he said. "I must see her about this."
点击
收听单词发音
收听单词发音 |
1
wring
|
|
| n.扭绞；v.拧，绞出，扭 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
tempted
|
|
| v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
Oxford
|
|
| n.牛津（英国城市） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
reposed
|
|
| v.将（手臂等）靠在某人（某物）上( repose的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
implicitly
|
|
| adv. 含蓄地, 暗中地, 毫不保留地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
spoke
|
|
| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
briefly
|
|
| adv.简单地，简短地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
wrath
|
|
| n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
lust
|
|
| n.性(淫)欲；渴(欲)望；vi.对…有强烈的欲望 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
miserable
|
|
| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
scripture
|
|
| n.经文，圣书，手稿；Scripture:(常用复数)《圣经》，《圣经》中的一段 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
exegetical
|
|
| adj.评释的，解经的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
faculty
|
|
| n.才能；学院，系；(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
eloquent
|
|
| adj.雄辩的，口才流利的；明白显示出的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
fervently
|
|
| adv.热烈地，热情地，强烈地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
austere
|
|
| adj.艰苦的；朴素的，朴实无华的；严峻的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
passionately
|
|
| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
stunned
|
|
| adj. 震惊的，惊讶的 动词stun的过去式和过去分词 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
wrestled
|
|
| v.（与某人）搏斗( wrestle的过去式和过去分词 )；扭成一团；扭打；（与…）摔跤 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
rumoured
|
|
| adj.谣传的；传说的；风 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
ailment
|
|
| n.疾病，小病 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
transparently
|
|
| 明亮地，显然地，易觉察地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
repayment
|
|
| n.偿还，偿还款；报酬 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
mighty
|
|
| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
detest
|
|
| vt.痛恨，憎恶 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
humiliation
|
|
| n.羞辱 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
embittered
|
|
| v.使怨恨，激怒( embitter的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
remorse
|
|
| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
entreat
|
|
| v.恳求，恳请 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
beseech
|
|
| v.祈求，恳求 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
harass
|
|
| vt.使烦恼，折磨，骚扰 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
maliciously
|
|
| adv.有敌意地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
lewd
|
|
| adj.淫荡的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
taunt
|
|
| n.辱骂，嘲弄；v.嘲弄 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
crimson
|
|
| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
abruptly
|
|
| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |