To earn her livelihood was a hard task, though Herminia's indomitable energy rode down all obstacles. Teaching, of course, was now quite out of the question; no English parent could intrust the education of his daughters to the hands of a woman who has dared and suffered much, for conscience' sake, in the cause of freedom for herself and her sisters. But even before Herminia went away to Perugia, she had acquired some small journalistic connection; and now, in her hour of need, she found not a few of the journalistic leaders by no means unwilling15 to sympathize and fraternize with her. To be sure, they didn't ask the free woman to their homes, nor invite her to meet their own women:—even an enlightened journalist must draw a line somewhere in the matter of society; but they understood and appreciated the sincerity16 of her motives17, and did what they could to find employment and salary for her. Herminia was an honest and conscientious18 worker; she knew much about many things; and nature had gifted her with the instinctive19 power of writing clearly and unaffectedly the English language. So she got on with editors. Who could resist, indeed, the pathetic charm of that girlish figure, simply clad in unobtrusive black, and sanctified in every feature of the shrinking face by the beauty of sorrow? Not the men who stand at the head of the one English profession which more than all others has escaped the leprous taint20 of that national moral blight21 that calls itself "respectability."
In a slow and tentative way, then, Herminia crept back into unrecognized recognition. It was all she needed. Companionship she liked; she hated society. That mart was odious22 to her where women barter23 their bodies for a title, a carriage, a place at the head of some rich man's table. Bohemia sufficed her. Her terrible widowhood, too, was rendered less terrible to her by the care of her little one. Babbling24 lips, pattering feet, made heaven in her attic12. Every good woman is by nature a mother, and finds best in maternity25 her social and moral salvation26. She shall be saved in child-bearing. Herminia was far removed indeed from that blatant27 and decadent28 sect29 of "advanced women" who talk as though motherhood were a disgrace and a burden, instead of being, as it is, the full realization30 of woman's faculties31, the natural outlet32 for woman's wealth of emotion. She knew that to be a mother is the best privilege of her sex, a privilege of which unholy manmade institutions now conspire34 to deprive half the finest and noblest women in our civilized35 communities. Widowed as she was, she still pitied the unhappy beings doomed36 to the cramped37 life and dwarfed38 heart of the old maid; pitied them as sincerely as she despised those unhealthy souls who would make of celibacy39, wedded40 or unwedded, a sort of anti-natural religion for women. Alan's death, however, had left Herminia's ship rudderless. Her mission had failed. That she acknowledged herself. She lived now for Dolores. The child to whom she had given the noble birthright of liberty was destined41 from her cradle to the apostolate of women. Alone of her sex, she would start in life emancipated42. While others must say, "With a great sum obtained I this freedom," Dolores could answer with Paul, "But I was free born." That was no mean heritage.
Gradually Herminia got work to her mind; work enough to support her in the modest way that sufficed her small wants for herself and her baby. In London, given time enough, you can live down anything, perhaps even the unspeakable sin of having struck a righteous blow in the interest of women. And day by day, as months and years went on, Herminia felt she was living down the disgrace of having obeyed an enlightened conscience. She even found friends. Dear old Miss Smith-Waters used to creep round by night, like Nicodemus—respectability would not have allowed her to perform that Christian act in open daylight,—and sit for an hour or two with her dear misguided Herminia. Miss Smith-Waters prayed nightly for Herminia's "conversion," yet not without an uncomfortable suspicion, after all, that Herminia had very little indeed to be "converted" from. Other people also got to know her by degrees; an editor's wife; a kind literary hostess; some socialistic ladies who liked to be "advanced;" a friendly family or two of the Bohemian literary or artistic43 pattern. Among them Herminia learned to be as happy in time as she could ever again be, now she had lost her Alan. She was Mrs. Barton to them all; that lie she found it practically impossible to fight against. Even the Bohemians refused to let their children ask after Miss Barton's baby.
So wrapt in vile33 falsehoods and conventions are we. So far have we travelled from the pristine44 realities of truth and purity. We lie to our children—in the interests of morality.
After a time, in the intervals45 between doing her journalistic work and nursing Alan's baby, Herminia found leisure to write a novel. It was seriously meant, of course, but still it was a novel. That is every woman's native idea of literature. It reflects the relatively46 larger part which the social life plays in the existence of women. If a man tells you he wants to write a book, nine times out of ten he means a treatise47 or argument on some subject that interests him. Even the men who take in the end to writing novels have generally begun with other aims and other aspirations48, and have only fallen back upon the art of fiction in the last resort as a means of livelihood. But when a woman tells you she wants to write a book, nine times out of ten she means she wants to write a novel. For that task nature has most often endowed her richly. Her quicker intuitions, her keener interest in social life, her deeper insight into the passing play of emotions and of motives, enable her to paint well the complex interrelations of every-day existence. So Herminia, like the rest, wrote her own pet novel.
By the time her baby was eighteen months old, she had finished it. It was blankly pessimistic, of course. Blank pessimism51 is the one creed52 possible for all save fools. To hold any other is to curl yourself up selfishly in your own easy chair, and say to your soul, "O soul, eat and drink; O soul, make merry. Carouse53 thy fill. Ignore the maimed lives, the stricken heads and seared hearts, the reddened fangs54 and ravening55 claws of nature all round thee." Pessimism is sympathy. Optimism is selfishness. The optimist56 folds his smug hands on his ample knees, and murmurs57 contentedly58, "The Lord has willed it;" "There must always be rich and poor;" "Nature has, after all, her great law of compensation." The pessimist50 knows well self-deception like that is either a fraud or a blind, and recognizing the seething59 mass of misery60 at his doors gives what he can,—his pity, or, where possible, his faint aid, in redressing61 the crying inequalities and injustices62 of man or nature.
All honest art is therefore of necessity pessimistic. Herminia's romance was something more than that. It was the despairing heart-cry of a soul in revolt. It embodied63 the experiences and beliefs and sentiments of a martyred woman. It enclosed a lofty ethical64 purpose. She wrote it with fiery65 energy, for her baby's sake, on waste scraps66 of paper, at stray moments snatched from endless other engagements. And as soon as it was finished, she sent it in fear and trembling to a publisher.
She had chosen her man well. He was a thinker himself, and he sympathized with thinkers. Though doubtful as to the venture, he took all the risk himself with that generosity67 one so often sees in the best-abused of professions. In three or four weeks' time "A Woman's World" came out, and Herminia waited in breathless anxiety for the verdict of the reviewers.
For nearly a month she waited in vain. Then, one Friday, as she was returning by underground railway from the Strand68 to Edgeware Road, with Dolores in her arms, her eye fell as she passed upon the display-bill of the "Spectator." Sixpence was a great deal of money to Herminia; but bang it went recklessly when she saw among the contents an article headed, "A Very Advanced Woman's Novel." She felt sure it must be hers, and she was not mistaken. Breathlessly she ran over that first estimate of her work. It was with no little elation49 that she laid down the number.
Not that the critique was by any means at all favorable. How could Herminia expect it in such a quarter? But the "Spectator" is at least conspicuously69 fair, though it remains70 in other ways an interesting and ivy-clad mediaeval relic71. "Let us begin by admitting," said the Spectatorial scribe, "that Miss Montague's book" (she had published it under a pseudonym) "is a work of genius. Much as we dislike its whole tone, and still more its conclusions, the gleam of pure genius shines forth72 undeniable on every page of it. Whoever takes it up must read on against his will till he has finished the last line of this terrible tragedy; a hateful fascination73 seems to hold and compel him. Its very purity makes it dangerous. The book is mistaken; the book is poisonous; the book is morbid74; the book is calculated to do irremediable mischief75; but in spite of all that, the book is a book of undeniable and sadly misplaced genius."
If he had said no more, Herminia would have been amply satisfied. To be called morbid by the "Spectator" is a sufficient proof that you have hit at least the right tack76 in morals. And to be accused of genius as well was indeed a triumph. No wonder Herminia went home to her lonely attic that night justifiably77 elated. She fancied after this her book must make a hit. It might be blamed and reviled78, but at any rate it was now safe from the ignominy of oblivion.
Alas79, how little she knew of the mysteries of the book-market! As little as all the rest of us. Day after day, from that afternoon forth, she watched in vain for succeeding notices. Not a single other paper in England reviewed her. At the libraries, her romance was never so much as asked for. And the reason for these phenomena80 is not far to seek by those who know the ways of the British public. For her novel was earnestly and sincerely written; it breathed a moral air, therefore it was voted dull; therefore nobody cared for it. The "Spectator" had noticed it because of its manifest earnestness and sincerity; for though the "Spectator" is always on the side of the lie and the wrong, it is earnest and sincere, and has a genuine sympathy for earnestness and sincerity, even on the side of truth and righteousness. Nobody else even looked at it. People said to themselves, "This book seems to be a book with a teaching not thoroughly81 banal82, like the novels-with-a-purpose after which we flock; so we'll give it a wide berth83."
And they shunned84 it accordingly.
That was the end of Herminia Barton's literary aspirations. She had given the people of her best, and the people rejected it. Now she gave them of her most mediocre85; the nearest to their own level of thought and feeling to which her hand could reduce itself. And the people accepted it. The rest of her life was hack-work; by that, she could at least earn a living for Dolores. Her "Antigone, for the Use of Ladies' Schools" still holds its own at Girton and Somerville.
点击收听单词发音
1 smothered | |
(使)窒息, (使)透不过气( smother的过去式和过去分词 ); 覆盖; 忍住; 抑制 | |
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2 stony | |
adj.石头的,多石头的,冷酷的,无情的 | |
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3 charing | |
n.炭化v.把…烧成炭,把…烧焦( char的现在分词 );烧成炭,烧焦;做杂役女佣 | |
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4 bosom | |
n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的 | |
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5 livelihood | |
n.生计,谋生之道 | |
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6 lodgings | |
n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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7 landlady | |
n.女房东,女地主 | |
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8 woe | |
n.悲哀,苦痛,不幸,困难;int.用来表达悲伤或惊慌 | |
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9 Christian | |
adj.基督教徒的;n.基督教徒 | |
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10 inevitable | |
adj.不可避免的,必然发生的 | |
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11 attics | |
n. 阁楼 | |
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12 attic | |
n.顶楼,屋顶室 | |
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13 rental | |
n.租赁,出租,出租业 | |
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14 lesser | |
adj.次要的,较小的;adv.较小地,较少地 | |
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15 unwilling | |
adj.不情愿的 | |
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16 sincerity | |
n.真诚,诚意;真实 | |
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17 motives | |
n.动机,目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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18 conscientious | |
adj.审慎正直的,认真的,本着良心的 | |
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19 instinctive | |
adj.(出于)本能的;直觉的;(出于)天性的 | |
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20 taint | |
n.污点;感染;腐坏;v.使感染;污染 | |
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21 blight | |
n.枯萎病;造成破坏的因素;vt.破坏,摧残 | |
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22 odious | |
adj.可憎的,讨厌的 | |
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23 barter | |
n.物物交换,以货易货,实物交易 | |
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24 babbling | |
n.胡说,婴儿发出的咿哑声adj.胡说的v.喋喋不休( babble的现在分词 );作潺潺声(如流水);含糊不清地说话;泄漏秘密 | |
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25 maternity | |
n.母性,母道,妇产科病房;adj.孕妇的,母性的 | |
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26 salvation | |
n.(尤指基督)救世,超度,拯救,解困 | |
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27 blatant | |
adj.厚颜无耻的;显眼的;炫耀的 | |
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28 decadent | |
adj.颓废的,衰落的,堕落的 | |
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29 sect | |
n.派别,宗教,学派,派系 | |
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30 realization | |
n.实现;认识到,深刻了解 | |
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31 faculties | |
n.能力( faculty的名词复数 );全体教职员;技巧;院 | |
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32 outlet | |
n.出口/路;销路;批发商店;通风口;发泄 | |
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33 vile | |
adj.卑鄙的,可耻的,邪恶的;坏透的 | |
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34 conspire | |
v.密谋,(事件等)巧合,共同导致 | |
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35 civilized | |
a.有教养的,文雅的 | |
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36 doomed | |
命定的 | |
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37 cramped | |
a.狭窄的 | |
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38 dwarfed | |
vt.(使)显得矮小(dwarf的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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39 celibacy | |
n.独身(主义) | |
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40 wedded | |
adj.正式结婚的;渴望…的,执著于…的v.嫁,娶,(与…)结婚( wed的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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41 destined | |
adj.命中注定的;(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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42 emancipated | |
adj.被解放的,不受约束的v.解放某人(尤指摆脱政治、法律或社会的束缚)( emancipate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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43 artistic | |
adj.艺术(家)的,美术(家)的;善于艺术创作的 | |
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44 pristine | |
adj.原来的,古时的,原始的,纯净的,无垢的 | |
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45 intervals | |
n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 );间隔时间;[数学]区间;(戏剧、电影或音乐会的)幕间休息 | |
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46 relatively | |
adv.比较...地,相对地 | |
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47 treatise | |
n.专著;(专题)论文 | |
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48 aspirations | |
强烈的愿望( aspiration的名词复数 ); 志向; 发送气音; 发 h 音 | |
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49 elation | |
n.兴高采烈,洋洋得意 | |
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50 pessimist | |
n.悲观者;悲观主义者;厌世 | |
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51 pessimism | |
n.悲观者,悲观主义者,厌世者 | |
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52 creed | |
n.信条;信念,纲领 | |
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53 carouse | |
v.狂欢;痛饮;n.狂饮的宴会 | |
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54 fangs | |
n.(尤指狗和狼的)长而尖的牙( fang的名词复数 );(蛇的)毒牙;罐座 | |
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55 ravening | |
a.贪婪而饥饿的 | |
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56 optimist | |
n.乐观的人,乐观主义者 | |
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57 murmurs | |
n.低沉、连续而不清的声音( murmur的名词复数 );低语声;怨言;嘀咕 | |
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58 contentedly | |
adv.心满意足地 | |
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59 seething | |
沸腾的,火热的 | |
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60 misery | |
n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦 | |
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61 redressing | |
v.改正( redress的现在分词 );重加权衡;恢复平衡 | |
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62 injustices | |
不公平( injustice的名词复数 ); 非正义; 待…不公正; 冤枉 | |
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63 embodied | |
v.表现( embody的过去式和过去分词 );象征;包括;包含 | |
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64 ethical | |
adj.伦理的,道德的,合乎道德的 | |
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65 fiery | |
adj.燃烧着的,火红的;暴躁的;激烈的 | |
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66 scraps | |
油渣 | |
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67 generosity | |
n.大度,慷慨,慷慨的行为 | |
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68 strand | |
vt.使(船)搁浅,使(某人)困于(某地) | |
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69 conspicuously | |
ad.明显地,惹人注目地 | |
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70 remains | |
n.剩余物,残留物;遗体,遗迹 | |
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71 relic | |
n.神圣的遗物,遗迹,纪念物 | |
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72 forth | |
adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
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73 fascination | |
n.令人着迷的事物,魅力,迷恋 | |
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74 morbid | |
adj.病的;致病的;病态的;可怕的 | |
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75 mischief | |
n.损害,伤害,危害;恶作剧,捣蛋,胡闹 | |
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76 tack | |
n.大头钉;假缝,粗缝 | |
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77 justifiably | |
adv.无可非议地 | |
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78 reviled | |
v.辱骂,痛斥( revile的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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79 alas | |
int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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80 phenomena | |
n.现象 | |
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81 thoroughly | |
adv.完全地,彻底地,十足地 | |
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82 banal | |
adj.陈腐的,平庸的 | |
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83 berth | |
n.卧铺,停泊地,锚位;v.使停泊 | |
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84 shunned | |
v.避开,回避,避免( shun的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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85 mediocre | |
adj.平常的,普通的 | |
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