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首页 » 英文短篇小说 » The Legacy of Cain » CHAPTER XIV. HELENA’S DIARY.
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CHAPTER XIV. HELENA’S DIARY.
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To-day I went as usual to the Scripture-class for girls. It was harder work than ever, teaching without Eunice to help me. Indeed, I felt lonely all day without my sister. When I got home, I rather hoped that some friend might have come to see us, and have been asked to stay to tea. The housemaid opened the door to me. I asked Maria if anybody had called.

“Yes, miss; a lady, to see the master.”

“A stranger?”

“Never saw her before, miss, in all my life.” I put no more questions. Many ladies visit my father. They call it consulting the Minister. He advises them in their troubles, and guides them in their religious difficulties, and so on. They come and go in a sort of secrecy1. So far as I know, they are mostly old maids, and they waste the Minister’s time.

When my father came in to tea, I began to feel some curiosity about the lady who had called on him. Visitors of that sort, in general, never appear to dwell on his mind after they have gone away; he sees too many of them, and is too well accustomed to what they have to say. On this particular evening, however, I perceived appearances that set me thinking; he looked worried and anxious.

“Has anything happened, father, to vex2 you?” I said.

“Yes.”

“Is the lady concerned in it?”

“What lady, my dear?”

“The lady who called on you while I was out.”

“Who told you she had called on me?”

“I asked Maria—”

“That will do, Helena, for the present.”

He drank his tea and went back to his study, instead of staying a while, and talking pleasantly as usual. My respect submitted to his want of confidence in me; but my curiosity was in a state of revolt. I sent for Maria, and proceeded to make my own discoveries, with this result:

No other person had called at the house. Nothing had happened, except the visit of the mysterious lady. “She looked between young and old. And, oh dear me, she was certainly not pretty. Not dressed nicely, to my mind; but they do say dress is a matter of taste.”

Try as I might, I could get no more than that out of our stupid young housemaid.

Later in the evening, the cook had occasion to consult me about supper. This was a person possessing the advantages of age and experience. I asked if she had seen the lady. The cook’s reply promised something new: “I can’t say I saw the lady; but I heard her.”

“Do you mean that you heard her speaking?”

“No, miss—crying.”

“Where was she crying?”

“In the master’s study.”

“How did you come to hear her?”

“Am I to understand, miss, that you suspect me of listening?”

Is a lie told by a look as bad as a lie told by words? I looked shocked at the bare idea of suspecting a respectable person of listening. The cook’s sense of honor was satisfied; she readily explained herself: “I was passing the door, miss, on my way upstairs.”

Here my discoveries came to an end. It was certainly possible that an afflicted3 member of my father’s congregation might have called on him to be comforted. But he sees plenty of afflicted ladies, without looking worried and anxious after they leave him. Still suspecting something out of the ordinary course of events, I waited hopefully for our next meeting at supper-time. Nothing came of it. My father left me by myself again, when the meal was over. He is always courteous4 to his daughters; and he made an apology: “Excuse me, Helena, I want to think.”

.......

I went to bed in a vile5 humor, and slept badly; wondering, in the long wakeful hours, what new rebuff I should meet with on the next day.

At breakfast this morning I was agreeably surprised. No signs of anxiety showed themselves in my father’s face. Instead of retiring to his study when we rose from the table, he proposed taking a turn in the garden: “You are looking pale, Helena, and you will be the better for a little fresh air. Besides, I have something to say to you.”

Excitement, I am sure, is good for young women. I saw in his face, I heard in his last words, that the mystery of the lady was at last to be revealed. The sensation of languor6 and fatigue7 which follows a disturbed night left me directly.

My father gave me his arm, and we walked slowly up and down the lawn.

“When that lady called on me yesterday,” he began, “you wanted to know who she was, and you were surprised and disappointed when I refused to gratify your curiosity. My silence was not a selfish silence, Helena. I was thinking of you and your sister; and I was at a loss how to act for the best. You shall hear why my children were in my mind, presently. I must tell you first that I have arrived at a decision; I hope and believe on reasonable grounds. Ask me any questions you please; my silence will be no longer an obstacle in your way.”

This was so very encouraging that I said at once: “I should like to know who the lady is.”

“The lady is related to me,” he answered. “We are cousins.”

Here was a disclosure that I had not anticipated. In the little that I have seen of the world, I have observed that cousins—when they happen to be brought together under interesting circumstances—can remember their relationship, and forget their relationship, just as it suits them. “Is your cousin a married lady?” I ventured to inquire.

“No.”

Short as it was, that reply might perhaps mean more than appeared on the surface. The cook had heard the lady crying. What sort of tender agitation8 was answerable for those tears? Was it possible, barely possible, that Eunice and I might go to bed, one night, a widower’s daughters, and wake up the next day to discover a stepmother?

“Have I or my sister ever seen the lady?” I asked.

“Never. She has been living abroad; and I have not seen her myself since we were both young people.”

My excellent innocent father! Not the faintest idea of what I had been thinking of was in his mind. Little did he suspect how welcome was the relief that he had afforded to his daughter’s wicked doubts of him. But he had not said a word yet about his cousin’s personal appearance. There might be remains9 of good looks which the housemaid was too stupid to discover.

“After the long interval10 that has passed since you met,” I said, “I suppose she has become an old woman?”

“No, my dear. Let us say, a middle-aged11 woman.”

“Perhaps she is still an attractive person?”

He smiled. “I am afraid, Helena, that would never have been a very accurate description of her.”

I now knew all that I wanted to know about this alarming person, excepting one last morsel12 of information which my father had strangely forgotten.

“We have been talking about the lady for some time,” I said; “and you have not yet told me her name.”

Father looked a little embarrassed “It’s not a very pretty name,” he answered. “My cousin, my unfortunate cousin, is—Miss Jillgall.”

I burst out with such a loud “Oh!” that he laughed. I caught the infection, and laughed louder still. Bless Miss Jillgall! The interview promised to become an easy one for both of us, thanks to her name. I was in good spirits, and I made no attempt to restrain them. “The next time Miss Jillgall honors you with a visit,” I said, “you must give me an opportunity of being presented to her.”

He made a strange reply: “You may find your opportunity, Helena, sooner than you anticipate.”

Did this mean that she was going to call again in a day or two? I am afraid I spoke13 flippantly. I said: “Oh, father, another lady fascinated by the popular preacher?”

The garden chairs were near us. He signed to me gravely to be seated by his side, and said to himself: “This is my fault.”

“What is your fault?” I asked.

“I have left you in ignorance, my dear, of my cousin’s sad story. It is soon told; and, if it checks your merriment, it will make amends14 by deserving your sympathy. I was indebted to her father, when I was a boy, for acts of kindness which I can never forget. He was twice married. The death of his first wife left him with one child—once my playfellow; now the lady whose visit has excited your curiosity. His second wife was a Belgian. She persuaded him to sell his business in London, and to invest the money in a partnership15 with a brother of hers, established as a sugar-refiner at Antwerp. The little daughter accompanied her father to Belgium. Are you attending to me, Helena?”

I was waiting for the interesting part of the story, and was wondering when he would get to it.

“As time went on,” he resumed, “the new partner found that the value of the business at Antwerp had been greatly overrated. After a long struggle with adverse16 circumstances, he decided17 on withdrawing from the partnership before the whole of his capital was lost in a failing commercial speculation18. The end of it was that he retired19, with his daughter, to a small town in East Flanders; the wreck20 of his property having left him with an income of no more than two hundred pounds a year.”

I showed my father that I was attending to him now, by inquiring what had become of the Belgian wife. Those nervous quiverings, which Eunice has mentioned in her diary, began to appear in his face.

“It is too shameful21 a story,” he said, “to be told to a young girl. The marriage was dissolved by law; and the wife was the person to blame. I am sure, Helena, you don’t wish to hear any more of this part of the story.”

I did wish. But I saw that he expected me to say No—so I said it.

“The father and daughter,” he went on, “never so much as thought of returning to their own country. They were too poor to live comfortably in England. In Belgium their income was sufficient for their wants. On the father’s death, the daughter remained in the town. She had friends there, and friends nowhere else; and she might have lived abroad to the end of her days, but for a calamity22 to which we are all liable. A long and serious illness completely prostrated23 her. Skilled medical attendance, costing large sums of money for the doctors’ traveling expenses, was imperatively24 required. Experienced nurses, summoned from a distant hospital, were in attendance night and day. Luxuries, far beyond the reach of her little income, were absolutely required to support her wasted strength at the time of her tedious recovery. In one word, her resources were sadly diminished, when the poor creature had paid her debts, and had regained25 her hold on life. At that time, she unhappily met with the man who has ruined her.”

It was getting interesting at last. “Ruined her?” I repeated. “Do you mean that he robbed her?”

“That, Helena, is exactly what I mean—and many and many a helpless woman has been robbed in the same way. The man of whom I am now speaking was a lawyer in large practice. He bore an excellent character, and was highly respected for his exemplary life. My cousin (not at all a discreet26 person, I am bound to admit) was induced to consult him on her pecuniary27 affairs. He expressed the most generous sympathy—offered to employ her little capital in his business—and pledged himself to pay her double the interest for her money, which she had been in the habit of receiving from the sound investment chosen by her father.”

“And of course he got the money, and never paid the interest?” Eager to hear the end, I interrupted the story in those inconsiderate words. My father’s answer quietly reproved me.

“He paid the interest regularly as long as he lived.”

“And what happened when he died?”

“He died a bankrupt; the secret profligacy28 of his life was at last exposed. Nothing, actually nothing, was left for his creditors29. The unfortunate creature, whose ugly name has amused you, must get help somewhere, or must go to the workhouse.”

If I had been in a state of mind to attend to trifles, this would have explained the reason why the cook had heard Miss Jillgall crying. But the prospect30 before me—the unendurable prospect of having a strange woman in the house—had showed itself too plainly to be mistaken. I could think of nothing else. With infinite difficulty I assumed a momentary31 appearance of composure, and suggested that Miss Jillgall’s foreign friends might have done something to help her.

My father defended her foreign friends. “My dear, they were poor people, and did all they could afford to do. But for their kindness, my cousin might not have been able to return to England.”

“And to cast herself on your mercy,” I added, “in the character of a helpless woman.”

“No, Helena! Not to cast herself on my mercy—but to find my house open to her, as her father’s house was open to me in the bygone time. I am her only surviving relative; and, while I live, she shall not be a helpless woman.”

I began to wish that I had not spoken out so plainly. My father’s sweet temper—I do so sincerely wish I had inherited it!—made the kindest allowances for me.

“I understand the momentary bitterness of feeling that has escaped you,” he said; “I may almost say that I expected it. My only hesitation32 in this matter has been caused by my sense of what I owe to my children. It was putting your endurance, and your sister’s endurance, to a trial to expect you to receive a stranger (and that stranger not a young girl like yourselves) as one of the household, living with you in the closest intimacy33 of family life. The consideration which has decided me does justice, I hope, to you and Eunice, as well as to myself. I think that some allowance is due from my daughters to the father who has always made loving allowance for them. Am I wrong in believing that my good children have not forgotten this, and have only waited for the occasion to feel the pleasure of rewarding me?”

It was beautifully put. There was but one thing to be done—I kissed him. And there was but one thing to be said. I asked at what time we might expect to receive Miss Jillgall. “She is staying, Helena, at a small hotel in the town. I have already sent to say that we are waiting to see her. Perhaps you will look at the spare bedroom?”

“It shall be got ready, father, directly.”

I ran into the house; I rushed upstairs into the room that is Eunice’s and mine; I locked the door, and then I gave way to my rage, before it stifled34 me. I stamped on the floor, I clinched35 my fists, I cast myself on the bed, I reviled36 that hateful woman by every hard word that I could throw at her. Oh, the luxury of it! the luxury of it!

Cold water and my hairbrush soon made me fit to be seen again.

As for the spare room, it looked a great deal too comfortable for an incubus37 from foreign parts. The one improvement that I could have made, if a friend of mine had been expected, was suggested by the window-curtains. I was looking at a torn place in one of them, and determined38 to leave it unrepaired, when I felt an arm slipped round my waist from behind. A voice, so close that it tickled39 my neck, said: “Dear girl, what friends we shall be!” I turned round, and confronted Miss Jillgall.

点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 secrecy NZbxH     
n.秘密,保密,隐蔽
参考例句:
  • All the researchers on the project are sworn to secrecy.该项目的所有研究人员都按要求起誓保守秘密。
  • Complete secrecy surrounded the meeting.会议在绝对机密的环境中进行。
2 vex TLVze     
vt.使烦恼,使苦恼
参考例句:
  • Everything about her vexed him.有关她的一切都令他困惑。
  • It vexed me to think of others gossiping behind my back.一想到别人在背后说我闲话,我就很恼火。
3 afflicted aaf4adfe86f9ab55b4275dae2a2e305a     
使受痛苦,折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • About 40% of the country's population is afflicted with the disease. 全国40%左右的人口患有这种疾病。
  • A terrible restlessness that was like to hunger afflicted Martin Eden. 一阵可怕的、跟饥饿差不多的不安情绪折磨着马丁·伊登。
4 courteous tooz2     
adj.彬彬有礼的,客气的
参考例句:
  • Although she often disagreed with me,she was always courteous.尽管她常常和我意见不一,但她总是很谦恭有礼。
  • He was a kind and courteous man.他为人友善,而且彬彬有礼。
5 vile YLWz0     
adj.卑鄙的,可耻的,邪恶的;坏透的
参考例句:
  • Who could have carried out such a vile attack?会是谁发起这么卑鄙的攻击呢?
  • Her talk was full of vile curses.她的话里充满着恶毒的咒骂。
6 languor V3wyb     
n.无精力,倦怠
参考例句:
  • It was hot,yet with a sweet languor about it.天气是炎热的,然而却有一种惬意的懒洋洋的感觉。
  • She,in her languor,had not troubled to eat much.她懒懒的,没吃多少东西。
7 fatigue PhVzV     
n.疲劳,劳累
参考例句:
  • The old lady can't bear the fatigue of a long journey.这位老妇人不能忍受长途旅行的疲劳。
  • I have got over my weakness and fatigue.我已从虚弱和疲劳中恢复过来了。
8 agitation TN0zi     
n.搅动;搅拌;鼓动,煽动
参考例句:
  • Small shopkeepers carried on a long agitation against the big department stores.小店主们长期以来一直在煽动人们反对大型百货商店。
  • These materials require constant agitation to keep them in suspension.这些药剂要经常搅动以保持悬浮状态。
9 remains 1kMzTy     
n.剩余物,残留物;遗体,遗迹
参考例句:
  • He ate the remains of food hungrily.他狼吞虎咽地吃剩余的食物。
  • The remains of the meal were fed to the dog.残羹剩饭喂狗了。
10 interval 85kxY     
n.间隔,间距;幕间休息,中场休息
参考例句:
  • The interval between the two trees measures 40 feet.这两棵树的间隔是40英尺。
  • There was a long interval before he anwsered the telephone.隔了好久他才回了电话。
11 middle-aged UopzSS     
adj.中年的
参考例句:
  • I noticed two middle-aged passengers.我注意到两个中年乘客。
  • The new skin balm was welcome by middle-aged women.这种新护肤香膏受到了中年妇女的欢迎。
12 morsel Q14y4     
n.一口,一点点
参考例句:
  • He refused to touch a morsel of the food they had brought.他们拿来的东西他一口也不吃。
  • The patient has not had a morsel of food since the morning.从早上起病人一直没有进食。
13 spoke XryyC     
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说
参考例句:
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
14 amends AzlzCR     
n. 赔偿
参考例句:
  • He made amends for his rudeness by giving her some flowers. 他送给她一些花,为他自己的鲁莽赔罪。
  • This country refuses stubbornly to make amends for its past war crimes. 该国顽固地拒绝为其过去的战争罪行赔罪。
15 partnership NmfzPy     
n.合作关系,伙伴关系
参考例句:
  • The company has gone into partnership with Swiss Bank Corporation.这家公司已经和瑞士银行公司建立合作关系。
  • Martin has taken him into general partnership in his company.马丁已让他成为公司的普通合伙人。
16 adverse 5xBzs     
adj.不利的;有害的;敌对的,不友好的
参考例句:
  • He is adverse to going abroad.他反对出国。
  • The improper use of medicine could lead to severe adverse reactions.用药不当会产生严重的不良反应。
17 decided lvqzZd     
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的
参考例句:
  • This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
  • There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
18 speculation 9vGwe     
n.思索,沉思;猜测;投机
参考例句:
  • Her mind is occupied with speculation.她的头脑忙于思考。
  • There is widespread speculation that he is going to resign.人们普遍推测他要辞职。
19 retired Njhzyv     
adj.隐退的,退休的,退役的
参考例句:
  • The old man retired to the country for rest.这位老人下乡休息去了。
  • Many retired people take up gardening as a hobby.许多退休的人都以从事园艺为嗜好。
20 wreck QMjzE     
n.失事,遇难;沉船;vt.(船等)失事,遇难
参考例句:
  • Weather may have been a factor in the wreck.天气可能是造成这次失事的原因之一。
  • No one can wreck the friendship between us.没有人能够破坏我们之间的友谊。
21 shameful DzzwR     
adj.可耻的,不道德的
参考例句:
  • It is very shameful of him to show off.他向人炫耀自己,真不害臊。
  • We must expose this shameful activity to the newspapers.我们一定要向报社揭露这一无耻行径。
22 calamity nsizM     
n.灾害,祸患,不幸事件
参考例句:
  • Even a greater natural calamity cannot daunt us. 再大的自然灾害也压不垮我们。
  • The attack on Pearl Harbor was a crushing calamity.偷袭珍珠港(对美军来说)是一场毁灭性的灾难。
23 prostrated 005b7f6be2182772064dcb09f1a7c995     
v.使俯伏,使拜倒( prostrate的过去式和过去分词 );(指疾病、天气等)使某人无能为力
参考例句:
  • He was prostrated by the loss of his wife. 他因丧妻而忧郁。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
  • They prostrated themselves before the emperor. 他们拜倒在皇帝的面前。 来自《简明英汉词典》
24 imperatively f73b47412da513abe61301e8da222257     
adv.命令式地
参考例句:
  • Drying wet rice rapidly and soaking or rewetting dry rice kernels imperatively results in severe fissuring. 潮湿米粒快速干燥或干燥籽粒浸水、回潮均会产生严重的裂纹。 来自互联网
  • Drying wet rice kernels rapidly, Soaking or Rewetting dry rice Kernels imperatively results in severe fissuring. 潮湿米粒的快速干燥,干燥籽粒的浸水或回潮均会带来严重的裂纹。 来自互联网
25 regained 51ada49e953b830c8bd8fddd6bcd03aa     
复得( regain的过去式和过去分词 ); 赢回; 重回; 复至某地
参考例句:
  • The majority of the people in the world have regained their liberty. 世界上大多数人已重获自由。
  • She hesitated briefly but quickly regained her poise. 她犹豫片刻,但很快恢复了镇静。
26 discreet xZezn     
adj.(言行)谨慎的;慎重的;有判断力的
参考例句:
  • He is very discreet in giving his opinions.发表意见他十分慎重。
  • It wasn't discreet of you to ring me up at the office.你打电话到我办公室真是太鲁莽了。
27 pecuniary Vixyo     
adj.金钱的;金钱上的
参考例句:
  • She denies obtaining a pecuniary advantage by deception.她否认通过欺骗手段获得经济利益。
  • She is so independent that she refused all pecuniary aid.她很独立,所以拒绝一切金钱上的资助。
28 profligacy d368c1db67127748cbef7c5970753fbe     
n.放荡,不检点,肆意挥霍
参考例句:
  • Subsequently, this statement was quoted widely in the colony as an evidence of profligacy. 结果这句话成为肆意挥霍的一个例证在那块领地里传开了。 来自辞典例句
  • Recession, they reason, must be a penance for past profligacy. 经济衰退,他们推断,肯定是对过去大肆挥霍的赎罪。 来自互联网
29 creditors 6cb54c34971e9a505f7a0572f600684b     
n.债权人,债主( creditor的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • They agreed to repay their creditors over a period of three years. 他们同意3年内向债主还清欠款。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Creditors could obtain a writ for the arrest of their debtors. 债权人可以获得逮捕债务人的令状。 来自《简明英汉词典》
30 prospect P01zn     
n.前景,前途;景色,视野
参考例句:
  • This state of things holds out a cheerful prospect.事态呈现出可喜的前景。
  • The prospect became more evident.前景变得更加明朗了。
31 momentary hj3ya     
adj.片刻的,瞬息的;短暂的
参考例句:
  • We are in momentary expectation of the arrival of you.我们无时无刻不在盼望你的到来。
  • I caught a momentary glimpse of them.我瞥了他们一眼。
32 hesitation tdsz5     
n.犹豫,踌躇
参考例句:
  • After a long hesitation, he told the truth at last.踌躇了半天,他终于直说了。
  • There was a certain hesitation in her manner.她的态度有些犹豫不决。
33 intimacy z4Vxx     
n.熟悉,亲密,密切关系,亲昵的言行
参考例句:
  • His claims to an intimacy with the President are somewhat exaggerated.他声称自己与总统关系密切,这有点言过其实。
  • I wish there were a rule book for intimacy.我希望能有个关于亲密的规则。
34 stifled 20d6c5b702a525920b7425fe94ea26a5     
(使)窒息, (使)窒闷( stifle的过去式和过去分词 ); 镇压,遏制; 堵
参考例句:
  • The gas stifled them. 煤气使他们窒息。
  • The rebellion was stifled. 叛乱被镇压了。
35 clinched 66a50317a365cdb056bd9f4f25865646     
v.(尤指两人)互相紧紧抱[扭]住( clinch的过去式和过去分词 );解决(争端、交易),达成(协议)
参考例句:
  • The two businessmen clinched the deal quickly. 两位生意人很快达成了协议。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Evidently this information clinched the matter. 显然,这一消息使问题得以最终解决。 来自辞典例句
36 reviled b65337c26ca96545bc83e2c51be568cb     
v.辱骂,痛斥( revile的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • The tramp reviled the man who drove him off. 流浪汉辱骂那位赶他走开的人。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
  • The old man reviled against corruption. 那老人痛斥了贪污舞弊。 来自《简明英汉词典》
37 incubus AxXyt     
n.负担;恶梦
参考例句:
  • Joyce regarded his US citizenship as a moral and political incubus.乔伊斯把他的美国公民身份当做是一个道德和政治上的负担。Like the sumerian wind demon and its later babylonian counterpart,Lilith was regarded as a succubus,or female version of the incubus.像风妖苏美尔和后来的巴比伦妖怪,莉莉丝被视为一个女妖,或女版梦魇。
38 determined duszmP     
adj.坚定的;有决心的
参考例句:
  • I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
  • He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。
39 tickled 2db1470d48948f1aa50b3cf234843b26     
(使)发痒( tickle的过去式和过去分词 ); (使)愉快,逗乐
参考例句:
  • We were tickled pink to see our friends on television. 在电视中看到我们的一些朋友,我们高兴极了。
  • I tickled the baby's feet and made her laugh. 我胳肢孩子的脚,使她发笑。


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