Keeping myself for the future strictly2 within the limits of my own personal experience, I have next to relate that a month elapsed from the time of my aunt’s decease before Rachel Verinder and I met again. That meeting was the occasion of my spending a few days under the same roof with her. In the course of my visit, something happened, relative to her marriage-engagement with Mr. Godfrey Ablewhite, which is important enough to require special notice in these pages. When this last of many painful family circumstances has been disclosed, my task will be completed; for I shall then have told all that I know, as an actual (and most unwilling) witness of events.
My aunt’s remains3 were removed from London, and were buried in the little cemetery4 attached to the church in her own park. I was invited to the funeral with the rest of the family. But it was impossible (with my religious views) to rouse myself in a few days only from the shock which this death had caused me. I was informed, moreover, that the rector of Frizinghall was to read the service. Having myself in past times seen this clerical castaway making one of the players at Lady Verinder’s whist-table, I doubt, even if I had been fit to travel, whether I should have felt justified5 in attending the ceremony.
Lady Verinder’s death left her daughter under the care of her brother-in-law, Mr. Ablewhite the elder. He was appointed guardian6 by the will, until his niece married, or came of age. Under these circumstances, Mr. Godfrey informed his father, I suppose, of the new relation in which he stood towards Rachel. At any rate, in ten days from my aunt’s death, the secret of the marriage-engagement was no secret at all within the circle of the family, and the grand question for Mr. Ablewhite senior—another confirmed castaway!—was how to make himself and his authority most agreeable to the wealthy young lady who was going to marry his son.
Rachel gave him some trouble at the outset, about the choice of a place in which she could be prevailed upon to reside. The house in Montagu Square was associated with the calamity7 of her mother’s death. The house in Yorkshire was associated with the scandalous affair of the lost Moonstone. Her guardian’s own residence at Frizinghall was open to neither of these objections. But Rachel’s presence in it, after her recent bereavement8, operated as a check on the gaieties of her cousins, the Miss Ablewhites—and she herself requested that her visit might be deferred9 to a more favourable10 opportunity. It ended in a proposal, emanating11 from old Mr. Ablewhite, to try a furnished house at Brighton. His wife, an invalid12 daughter, and Rachel were to inhabit it together, and were to expect him to join them later in the season. They would see no society but a few old friends, and they would have his son Godfrey, travelling backwards13 and forwards by the London train, always at their disposal.
I describe this aimless flitting about from one place of residence to another—this insatiate restlessness of body and appalling14 stagnation15 of soul—merely with the view to arriving at results. The event which (under Providence) proved to be the means of bringing Rachel Verinder and myself together again, was no other than the hiring of the house at Brighton.
My Aunt Ablewhite is a large, silent, fair-complexioned woman, with one noteworthy point in her character. From the hour of her birth she has never been known to do anything for herself. She has gone through life, accepting everybody’s help, and adopting everybody’s opinions. A more hopeless person, in a spiritual point of view, I have never met with—there is absolutely, in this perplexing case, no obstructive material to work upon. Aunt Ablewhite would listen to the Grand Lama of Thibet exactly as she listens to Me, and would reflect his views quite as readily as she reflects mine. She found the furnished house at Brighton by stopping at an hotel in London, composing herself on a sofa, and sending for her son. She discovered the necessary servants by breakfasting in bed one morning (still at the hotel), and giving her maid a holiday on condition that the girl “would begin enjoying herself by fetching Miss Clack.” I found her placidly18 fanning herself in her dressing-gown at eleven o’clock. “Drusilla, dear, I want some servants. You are so clever—please get them for me.” I looked round the untidy room. The church-bells were going for a week-day service; they suggested a word of affectionate remonstrance19 on my part. “Oh, aunt!” I said sadly. “Is this worthy17 of a Christian20 Englishwoman? Is the passage from time to eternity21 to be made in this manner?” My aunt answered, “I’ll put on my gown, Drusilla, if you will be kind enough to help me.” What was to be said after that? I have done wonders with murderesses—I have never advanced an inch with Aunt Ablewhite. “Where is the list,” I asked, “of the servants whom you require?” My aunt shook her head; she hadn’t even energy enough to keep the list. “Rachel has got it, dear,” she said, “in the next room.” I went into the next room, and so saw Rachel again for the first time since we had parted in Montagu Square.
She looked pitiably small and thin in her deep mourning. If I attached any serious importance to such a perishable22 trifle as personal appearance, I might be inclined to add that hers was one of those unfortunate complexions23 which always suffer when not relieved by a border of white next the skin. But what are our complexions and our looks? Hindrances24 and pitfalls25, dear girls, which beset26 us on our way to higher things! Greatly to my surprise, Rachel rose when I entered the room, and came forward to meet me with outstretched hand.
“I am glad to see you,” she said. “Drusilla, I have been in the habit of speaking very foolishly and very rudely to you, on former occasions. I beg your pardon. I hope you will forgive me.”
My face, I suppose, betrayed the astonishment27 I felt at this. She coloured up for a moment, and then proceeded to explain herself.
“In my poor mother’s lifetime,” she went on, “her friends were not always my friends, too. Now I have lost her, my heart turns for comfort to the people she liked. She liked you. Try to be friends with me, Drusilla, if you can.”
To any rightly-constituted mind, the motive28 thus acknowledged was simply shocking. Here in Christian England was a young woman in a state of bereavement, with so little idea of where to look for true comfort, that she actually expected to find it among her mother’s friends! Here was a relative of mine, awakened29 to a sense of her shortcomings towards others, under the influence, not of conviction and duty, but of sentiment and impulse! Most deplorable to think of—but, still, suggestive of something hopeful, to a person of my experience in plying30 the good work. There could be no harm, I thought, in ascertaining31 the extent of the change which the loss of her mother had wrought32 in Rachel’s character. I decided33, as a useful test, to probe her on the subject of her marriage-engagement to Mr. Godfrey Ablewhite.
Having first met her advances with all possible cordiality, I sat by her on the sofa, at her own request. We discussed family affairs and future plans—always excepting that one future plan which was to end in her marriage. Try as I might to turn the conversation that way, she resolutely34 declined to take the hint. Any open reference to the question, on my part, would have been premature36 at this early stage of our reconciliation37. Besides, I had discovered all I wanted to know. She was no longer the reckless, defiant38 creature whom I had heard and seen, on the occasion of my martyrdom in Montagu Square. This was, of itself, enough to encourage me to take her future conversion39 in hand—beginning with a few words of earnest warning directed against the hasty formation of the marriage tie, and so getting on to higher things. Looking at her, now, with this new interest—and calling to mind the headlong suddenness with which she had met Mr. Godfrey’s matrimonial views—I felt the solemn duty of interfering40 with a fervour which assured me that I should achieve no common results. Rapidity of proceeding41 was, as I believed, of importance in this case. I went back at once to the question of the servants wanted for the furnished house.
“Where is the list, dear?”
Rachel produced it.
“Cook, kitchen-maid, housemaid, and footman,” I read. “My dear Rachel, these servants are only wanted for a term—the term during which your guardian has taken the house. We shall have great difficulty in finding persons of character and capacity to accept a temporary engagement of that sort, if we try in London. Has the house in Brighton been found yet?”
“Yes. Godfrey has taken it; and persons in the house wanted him to hire them as servants. He thought they would hardly do for us, and came back having settled nothing.”
“And you have no experience yourself in these matters, Rachel?”
“None whatever.”
“And Aunt Ablewhite won’t exert herself?”
“No, poor dear. Don’t blame her, Drusilla. I think she is the only really happy woman I have ever met with.”
“There are degrees in happiness, darling. We must have a little talk, some day, on that subject. In the meantime I will undertake to meet the difficulty about the servants. Your aunt will write a letter to the people of the house——”
“She will sign a letter, if I write it for her, which comes to the same thing.”
“Quite the same thing. I shall get the letter, and I will go to Brighton tomorrow.”
“How extremely kind of you! We will join you as soon as you are ready for us. And you will stay, I hope, as my guest. Brighton is so lively; you are sure to enjoy it.”
In those words the invitation was given, and the glorious prospect42 of interference was opened before me.
It was then the middle of the week. By Saturday afternoon the house was ready for them. In that short interval44 I had sifted45, not the characters only, but the religious views as well, of all the disengaged servants who applied46 to me, and had succeeded in making a selection which my conscience approved. I also discovered, and called on two serious friends of mine, residents in the town, to whom I knew I could confide47 the pious48 object which had brought me to Brighton. One of them—a clerical friend—kindly helped me to take sittings for our little party in the church in which he himself ministered. The other—a single lady, like myself—placed the resources of her library (composed throughout of precious publications) entirely49 at my disposal. I borrowed half-a-dozen works, all carefully chosen with a view to Rachel. When these had been judiciously50 distributed in the various rooms she would be likely to occupy, I considered that my preparations were complete. Sound doctrine51 in the servants who waited on her; sound doctrine in the minister who preached to her; sound doctrine in the books that lay on her table—such was the treble welcome which my zeal52 had prepared for the motherless girl! A heavenly composure filled my mind, on that Saturday afternoon, as I sat at the window waiting the arrival of my relatives. The giddy throng53 passed and repassed before my eyes. Alas54! how many of them felt my exquisite55 sense of duty done? An awful question. Let us not pursue it.
Between six and seven the travellers arrived. To my indescribable surprise, they were escorted, not by Mr. Godfrey (as I had anticipated), but by the lawyer, Mr. Bruff.
“How do you do, Miss Clack?” he said. “I mean to stay this time.”
That reference to the occasion on which I had obliged him to postpone56 his business to mine, when we were both visiting in Montagu Square, satisfied me that the old worldling had come to Brighton with some object of his own in view. I had prepared quite a little Paradise for my beloved Rachel—and here was the Serpent already!
“Godfrey was very much vexed57, Drusilla, not to be able to come with us,” said my Aunt Ablewhite. “There was something in the way which kept him in town. Mr. Bruff volunteered to take his place, and make a holiday of it till Monday morning. By-the-bye, Mr. Bruff, I’m ordered to take exercise, and I don’t like it. That,” added Aunt Ablewhite, pointing out of window to an invalid going by in a chair on wheels, drawn58 by a man, “is my idea of exercise. If it’s air you want, you get it in your chair. And if it’s fatigue59 you want, I am sure it’s fatigue enough to look at the man.”
Rachel stood silent, at a window by herself, with her eyes fixed60 on the sea.
“Tired, love?” I inquired.
“No. Only a little out of spirits,” she answered. “I have often seen the sea, on our Yorkshire coast, with that light on it. And I was thinking, Drusilla, of the days that can never come again.”
Mr. Bruff remained to dinner, and stayed through the evening. The more I saw of him, the more certain I felt that he had some private end to serve in coming to Brighton. I watched him carefully. He maintained the same appearance of ease, and talked the same godless gossip, hour after hour, until it was time to take leave. As he shook hands with Rachel, I caught his hard and cunning eyes resting on her for a moment with a peculiar61 interest and attention. She was plainly concerned in the object that he had in view. He said nothing out of the common to her or to anyone on leaving. He invited himself to luncheon62 the next day, and then he went away to his hotel.
It was impossible the next morning to get my Aunt Ablewhite out of her dressing-gown in time for church. Her invalid daughter (suffering from nothing, in my opinion, but incurable63 laziness, inherited from her mother) announced that she meant to remain in bed for the day. Rachel and I went alone together to church. A magnificent sermon was preached by my gifted friend on the heathen indifference64 of the world to the sinfulness of little sins. For more than an hour his eloquence65 (assisted by his glorious voice) thundered through the sacred edifice66. I said to Rachel, when we came out, “Has it found its way to your heart, dear?” And she answered, “No; it has only made my head ache.” This might have been discouraging to some people; but, once embarked67 on a career of manifest usefulness, nothing discourages Me.
We found Aunt Ablewhite and Mr. Bruff at luncheon. When Rachel declined eating anything, and gave as a reason for it that she was suffering from a headache, the lawyer’s cunning instantly saw, and seized, the chance that she had given him.
“There is only one remedy for a headache,” said this horrible old man. “A walk, Miss Rachel, is the thing to cure you. I am entirely at your service, if you will honour me by accepting my arm.”
“With the greatest pleasure. A walk is the very thing I was longing68 for.”
“It’s past two,” I gently suggested. “And the afternoon service, Rachel, begins at three.”
“How can you expect me to go to church again,” she asked, petulantly69, “with such a headache as mine?”
Mr. Bruff officiously opened the door for her. In another minute more they were both out of the house. I don’t know when I have felt the solemn duty of interfering so strongly as I felt it at that moment. But what was to be done? Nothing was to be done but to interfere43 at the first opportunity, later in the day.
On my return from the afternoon service I found that they had just got back. One look at them told me that the lawyer had said what he wanted to say. I had never before seen Rachel so silent and so thoughtful. I had never before seen Mr. Bruff pay her such devoted70 attention, and look at her with such marked respect. He had (or pretended that he had) an engagement to dinner that day—and he took an early leave of us all; intending to go back to London by the first train the next morning.
“Are you sure of your own resolution?” he said to Rachel at the door.
“Quite sure,” she answered—and so they parted.
The moment his back was turned, Rachel withdrew to her own room. She never appeared at dinner. Her maid (the person with the cap-ribbons) was sent downstairs to announce that her headache had returned. I ran up to her and made all sorts of sisterly offers through the door. It was locked, and she kept it locked. Plenty of obstructive material to work on here! I felt greatly cheered and stimulated71 by her locking the door.
When her cup of tea went up to her the next morning, I followed it in. I sat by her bedside and said a few earnest words. She listened with languid civility. I noticed my serious friend’s precious publications huddled72 together on a table in a corner. Had she chanced to look into them?—I asked. Yes—and they had not interested her. Would she allow me to read a few passages of the deepest interest, which had probably escaped her eye? No, not now—she had other things to think of. She gave these answers, with her attention apparently73 absorbed in folding and refolding the frilling on her nightgown. It was plainly necessary to rouse her by some reference to those worldly interests which she still had at heart.
“Do you know, love,” I said, “I had an odd fancy, yesterday, about Mr. Bruff? I thought, when I saw you after your walk with him, that he had been telling you some bad news.”
Her fingers dropped from the frilling of her nightgown, and her fierce black eyes flashed at me.
“Quite the contrary!” she said. “It was news I was interested in hearing—and I am deeply indebted to Mr. Bruff for telling me of it.”
“Yes?” I said, in a tone of gentle interest.
Her fingers went back to the frilling, and she turned her head sullenly74 away from me. I had been met in this manner, in the course of plying the good work, hundreds of times. She merely stimulated me to try again. In my dauntless zeal for her welfare, I ran the great risk, and openly alluded75 to her marriage engagement.
“News you were interested in hearing?” I repeated. “I suppose, my dear Rachel, that must be news of Mr. Godfrey Ablewhite?”
She started up in the bed, and turned deadly pale. It was evidently on the tip of her tongue to retort on me with the unbridled insolence76 of former times. She checked herself—laid her head back on the pillow—considered a minute—and then answered in these remarkable77 words:
“I shall never marry Mr. Godfrey Ablewhite.”
It was my turn to start at that.
“What can you possibly mean?” I exclaimed. “The marriage is considered by the whole family as a settled thing!”
“Mr. Godfrey Ablewhite is expected here today,” she said doggedly78. “Wait till he comes—and you will see.”
“But my dear Rachel——”
She rang the bell at the head of her bed. The person with the cap-ribbons appeared.
“Penelope! my bath.”
Let me give her her due. In the state of my feelings at that moment, I do sincerely believe that she had hit on the only possible way of forcing me to leave the room.
By the mere16 worldly mind my position towards Rachel might have been viewed as presenting difficulties of no ordinary kind. I had reckoned on leading her to higher things by means of a little earnest exhortation79 on the subject of her marriage. And now, if she was to be believed, no such event as her marriage was to take place at all. But ah, my friends! a working Christian of my experience (with an evangelising prospect before her) takes broader views than these. Supposing Rachel really broke off the marriage, on which the Ablewhites, father and son, counted as a settled thing, what would be the result? It could only end, if she held firm, in an exchanging of hard words and bitter accusations80 on both sides. And what would be the effect on Rachel when the stormy interview was over? A salutary moral depression would be the effect. Her pride would be exhausted81, her stubbornness would be exhausted, by the resolute35 resistance which it was in her character to make under the circumstances. She would turn for sympathy to the nearest person who had sympathy to offer. And I was that nearest person—brimful of comfort, charged to overflowing82 with seasonable and reviving words. Never had the evangelising prospect looked brighter, to my eyes, than it looked now.
She came down to breakfast, but she ate nothing, and hardly uttered a word.
After breakfast she wandered listlessly from room to room—then suddenly roused herself, and opened the piano. The music she selected to play was of the most scandalously profane83 sort, associated with performances on the stage which it curdles84 one’s blood to think of. It would have been premature to interfere with her at such a time as this. I privately85 ascertained86 the hour at which Mr. Godfrey Ablewhite was expected, and then I escaped the music by leaving the house.
Being out alone, I took the opportunity of calling upon my two resident friends. It was an indescribable luxury to find myself indulging in earnest conversation with serious persons. Infinitely87 encouraged and refreshed, I turned my steps back again to the house, in excellent time to await the arrival of our expected visitor. I entered the dining-room, always empty at that hour of the day, and found myself face to face with Mr. Godfrey Ablewhite!
He made no attempt to fly the place. Quite the contrary. He advanced to meet me with the utmost eagerness.
“Dear Miss Clack, I have been only waiting to see you! Chance set me free of my London engagements today sooner than I had expected, and I have got here, in consequence, earlier than my appointed time.”
Not the slightest embarrassment88 encumbered89 his explanation, though this was his first meeting with me after the scene in Montagu Square. He was not aware, it is true, of my having been a witness of that scene. But he knew, on the other hand, that my attendances at the Mothers’ Small-Clothes, and my relations with friends attached to other charities, must have informed me of his shameless neglect of his Ladies and of his Poor. And yet there he was before me, in full possession of his charming voice and his irresistible90 smile!
“Have you seen Rachel yet?” I asked.
He sighed gently, and took me by the hand. I should certainly have snatched my hand away, if the manner in which he gave his answer had not paralysed me with astonishment.
“I have seen Rachel,” he said with perfect tranquillity91. “You are aware, dear friend, that she was engaged to me? Well, she has taken a sudden resolution to break the engagement. Reflection has convinced her that she will best consult her welfare and mine by retracting92 a rash promise, and leaving me free to make some happier choice elsewhere. That is the only reason she will give, and the only answer she will make to every question that I can ask of her.”
“What have you done on your side?” I inquired. “Have you submitted.”
“Yes,” he said with the most unruffled composure, “I have submitted.”
His conduct, under the circumstances, was so utterly93 inconceivable, that I stood bewildered with my hand in his. It is a piece of rudeness to stare at anybody, and it is an act of indelicacy to stare at a gentleman. I committed both those improprieties. And I said, as if in a dream, “What does it mean?”
“Permit me to tell you,” he replied. “And suppose we sit down?”
He led me to a chair. I have an indistinct remembrance that he was very affectionate. I don’t think he put his arm round my waist to support me—but I am not sure. I was quite helpless, and his ways with ladies were very endearing. At any rate, we sat down. I can answer for that, if I can answer for nothing more.
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sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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strictly
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| adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地 | |
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remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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cemetery
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justified
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| a.正当的，有理的 | |
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guardian
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calamity
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bereavement
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| n.亲人丧亡，丧失亲人，丧亲之痛 | |
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deferred
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| adj.延期的，缓召的v.拖延，延缓，推迟( defer的过去式和过去分词 )；服从某人的意愿，遵从 | |
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favourable
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emanating
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invalid
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backwards
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appalling
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stagnation
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mere
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worthy
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placidly
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remonstrance
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Christian
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eternity
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perishable
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complexions
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hindrances
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pitfalls
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beset
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astonishment
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motive
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awakened
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plying
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ascertaining
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decided
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resolutely
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resolute
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premature
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reconciliation
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defiant
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conversion
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interfering
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proceeding
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prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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interfere
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| v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰 | |
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interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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sifted
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| v.筛( sift的过去式和过去分词 )；筛滤；细查；详审 | |
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applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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confide
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| v.向某人吐露秘密 | |
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pious
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| adj.虔诚的；道貌岸然的 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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judiciously
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| adv.明断地，明智而审慎地 | |
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doctrine
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| n.教义；主义；学说 | |
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zeal
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| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
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throng
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| n.人群，群众；v.拥挤，群集 | |
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alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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postpone
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| v.延期，推迟 | |
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vexed
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| adj.争论不休的；（指问题等）棘手的；争论不休的问题；烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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fatigue
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| n.疲劳，劳累 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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luncheon
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| n.午宴，午餐，便宴 | |
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incurable
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| adj.不能医治的，不能矫正的，无救的；n.不治的病人，无救的人 | |
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indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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eloquence
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| n.雄辩；口才，修辞 | |
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edifice
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| n.宏伟的建筑物(如宫殿，教室) | |
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embarked
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| 乘船( embark的过去式和过去分词 )； 装载； 从事 | |
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longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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petulantly
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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stimulated
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| a.刺激的 | |
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huddled
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| 挤在一起（huddle的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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sullenly
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| 不高兴地，绷着脸，忧郁地 | |
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alluded
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| 提及，暗指( allude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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insolence
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| n.傲慢；无礼；厚颜；傲慢的态度 | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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doggedly
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| adv.顽强地，固执地 | |
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exhortation
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| n.劝告，规劝 | |
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accusations
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| n.指责( accusation的名词复数 )；指控；控告；（被告发、控告的）罪名 | |
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exhausted
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| adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的 | |
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overflowing
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| n. 溢出物,溢流 adj. 充沛的，充满的 动词overflow的现在分词形式 | |
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profane
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| adj.亵神的，亵渎的；vt.亵渎，玷污 | |
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curdles
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| v.（使）凝结( curdle的第三人称单数 ) | |
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privately
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| adv.以私人的身份，悄悄地，私下地 | |
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ascertained
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| v.弄清，确定，查明( ascertain的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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encumbered
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| v.妨碍，阻碍，拖累( encumber的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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irresistible
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| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 | |
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tranquillity
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| n. 平静, 安静 | |
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92
retracting
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| v.撤回或撤消( retract的现在分词 )；拒绝执行或遵守；缩回；拉回 | |
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93
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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