Claude Escher flipped1 the intercom switch.
"Please send him right in."
That was entirely2 superfluous3, he thought, because MacDonald would come in whether Escher wanted him to or not.
The door opened and shut with a slightly harder bang than usual and Escher mentally braced4 himself. He had a good hunch5 what the problem was going to be and why it was being thrown in their laps.
MacDonald made himself comfortable and sat there for a few minutes, just looking grim and not saying anything. Escher knew the psychology6 by heart. A short preliminary silence is always more effective in browbeating7 subordinates than an initial furious bluster8.
He lit a cigarette and tried to outwait MacDonald. It wasn't easy—MacDonald had great staying powers, which was probably why he was the head of the department.
Escher gave in first. "Okay, Mac, what's the trouble? What do we have tossed in our laps now?"
"You know the one—colonization9 problem. You know that when we first started to colonize10, quite a large percentage of the male population took to the stars, as the saying goes. The adventuresome, the gamblers, the frontier type all decided11 they wanted to head for other worlds, to get away from it all. The male of the species is far more adventuresome than the female; the men left—but the women didn't. At least, not in nearly the same large numbers.
"Well, you see the problem. The ratio of women to men here on Earth is now something like five to three. If you don't know what that means, ask any man with a daughter. Or any psychiatrist12. Husband-hunting isn't just a pleasant pastime on Earth. It's an earnest cutthroat business and I'm not just using a literary phrase."
He threw a paper on Escher's desk. "You'll find most of the statistics about it in that, Claude. Notice the increase in crimes peculiar13 to women. Shoplifting, badger14 games, poisonings, that kind of thing. It's quite a list. You'll also notice the huge increase in petty crimes, a lot of which wouldn't have bothered the courts before. In fact, they wouldn't even have been considered crimes. You know why they are now?"
Escher shook his head blankly.
"Most of the girls in the past who didn't catch a husband," MacDonald continued, "grew up to be the type of old maid who's dedicated15 to improving the morals and what-not of the rest of the population. We've got more puritanical16 societies now than we ever had, and we have more silly little laws on the books as a result. You can be thrown in the pokey for things like violating a woman's privacy—whatever that means—and she's the one who decides whether what you say or do is a violation17 or not."
Escher looked bored. "Not to mention the new prohibition18 which forbids the use of alcohol in everything from cough medicines to hair tonics19. Or the cleaned up moral code that reeks—if you'll pardon the expression—of purity. Sure, I know what you mean. And you know the solution. All we have to do is get the women to colonize."
MacDonald ran his fingers nervously20 through his hair.
"But it won't be easy, and that's why it's been given to us. It's your baby, Claude. Give it a lot of thought. Nothing's impossible, you know."
"Perpetual motion machines are," Escher said quietly. "And pulling yourself up by your boot-straps. But I get the point. Nevertheless, women just don't want to colonize. And who can blame them? Why should they give up living in a luxury civilization, with as many modern conveniences as this one, to go homesteading on some wild, unexplored planet where they have to work their fingers to the bone and play footsie with wild animals and savages21 who would just as soon skin them alive as not?"
"What do you advise I do, then?" MacDonald demanded. "Go back to the Board and tell them the problem is not solvable, that we can't think of anything?"
Escher looked hurt. "Did I say that? I just said it wouldn't be easy."
"The Board is giving you a blank check. Do anything you think will pay off. We have to stay within the letter of the law, of course, but not necessarily the spirit."
"When do they have to have a solution?"
"As soon as possible. At least within the year. By that time the situation will be very serious. The psychologists say that what will happen then won't be good."
"All right, by then we'll have the answer."
MacDonald stopped at the door. "There's another reason why they want it worked out. The number of men applying to the Colonization Board for emigration to the colony planets is falling off."
"How come?"
MacDonald smiled. "On the basis of statistics alone, would you want to emigrate from a planet where the women outnumber the men five to three?"
When MacDonald had gone, Escher settled back in his chair and idly tapped his fingers on the desk-top. It was lucky that the Colonization Board worked on two levels. One was the well-publicized, idealistic level where nothing was too good and every deal was 99 and 44/100 per cent pure. But when things got too difficult for it to handle on that level, they went to Escher and MacDonald's department. The coal mine level. Nothing was too low, so long as it worked. Of course, if it didn't work, you took the lumps, too.
He rummaged22 around in his drawer and found a list of the qualifications set up by the Board for potential colonists23. He read the list slowly and frowned. You had to be physically24 fit for the rigors25 of space travel, naturally, but some of the qualifications were obviously silly. You couldn't guarantee physical perfection in the second generation, anyway.
He tore the qualification list in shreds26 and dropped it in the disposal chute. That would have to be the first to go.
There were other things that could be done immediately. For one thing, as it stood now, you were supposed to be financially able to colonize. Obviously a stupid and unappealing law. That would have to go next.
He picked up the sheet of statistics that MacDonald had left and read it carefully. The Board could legalize polygamy, but that was no solution in the long run. Probably cause more problems than it would solve. Even with women as easy to handle as they were nowadays, one was still enough.
Which still left him with the main problem of how to get people to colonize who didn't want to colonize.
The first point was to convince them that they wanted to. The second point was that it might not matter whether they wanted to or not.
No, it shouldn't be hard to solve at all—provided you held your nose, silenced your conscience, and were willing to forget that there was such a thing as a moral code.
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1
flipped
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| 轻弹( flip的过去式和过去分词 )； 按（开关）； 快速翻转； 急挥 | |
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2
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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3
superfluous
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| adj.过多的，过剩的，多余的 | |
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4
braced
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| adj.拉牢的v.支住( brace的过去式和过去分词 )；撑牢；使自己站稳；振作起来 | |
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5
hunch
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| n.预感，直觉 | |
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6
psychology
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| n.心理，心理学，心理状态 | |
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7
browbeating
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| v.（以言辞或表情）威逼，恫吓( browbeat的现在分词 ) | |
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8
bluster
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| v.猛刮；怒冲冲的说；n.吓唬，怒号；狂风声 | |
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9
colonization
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| 殖民地的开拓，殖民，殖民地化； 移殖 | |
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10
colonize
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| v.建立殖民地，拓殖；定居，居于 | |
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11
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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12
psychiatrist
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| n.精神病专家；精神病医师 | |
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13
peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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14
badger
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| v.一再烦扰，一再要求，纠缠 | |
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15
dedicated
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| adj.一心一意的；献身的；热诚的 | |
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16
puritanical
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| adj.极端拘谨的；道德严格的 | |
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17
violation
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| n.违反(行为)，违背(行为)，侵犯 | |
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18
prohibition
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| n.禁止；禁令，禁律 | |
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19
tonics
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| n.滋补品( tonic的名词复数 )；主音；奎宁水；浊音 | |
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20
nervously
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| adv.神情激动地，不安地 | |
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21
savages
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| 未开化的人，野蛮人( savage的名词复数 ) | |
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22
rummaged
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| 翻找，搜寻( rummage的过去式和过去分词 )； 已经海关检查 | |
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23
colonists
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| n.殖民地开拓者，移民，殖民地居民( colonist的名词复数 ) | |
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24
physically
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| adj.物质上，体格上，身体上，按自然规律 | |
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25
rigors
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| 严格( rigor的名词复数 )； 严酷； 严密； （由惊吓或中毒等导致的身体）僵直 | |
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26
shreds
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| v.撕碎，切碎( shred的第三人称单数 )；用撕毁机撕毁（文件） | |
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