He untied2 the package, read the first, and ran rapidly through the pile. The total subscriptions4 reached only twenty thousand dollars. He had asked for a million.
A sickening sense of failure crushed him. How weak and puerile5 the eloquence6 of words or the beat of the human heart against that mysterious force gleaming at him through Van Meter’s black eyes!
He sat brooding over the power wielded7 by a dozen men whose names were linked with the Deacon’s in Wall Street. This group of men had personal fortunes of more than eight hundred millions and controlled as much more. He believed that they dictated8 the policy of railroads, banks, trade, the State, the Nation, and that no king or emperor of the world wielded such despotism over men as these uncrowned monarchs9 of money. He felt as though he had collided with the stars in their courses and been crushed to dust.
An Answer to Prayer 129
In the middle of the pile of cards he found one signed by Kate Ransom10. She had written across the printed form in her smooth, flowing hand:
“Please call after the service and let me know the result. I will send you my subscription3 to-morrow.”
He knew that she would make a liberal gift, but her fortune could not be more than a million, perhaps not half so large. Her generosity11 could not save the day even if she gave half of all she possessed12, a supposition of course preposterous13.
He could not summon courage to go in the bitterness of his defeat. He scrawled14 a note and sent it by the sexton.
“Feeling too blue to call. Failure complete and pitiful. The subscriptions reach only twenty thousand dollars. GORDON.”
There was but one forlorn hope left. He had written personal letters to several millionaires he knew in town. They might respond.
He sat in his study in the afternoon, dull, stupid and sick, feeling an iron band around his brain. He could not think. Ho gave up the work on his evening sermon and determined15 to repeat an old one.
As he sat in an aching stupor16 the sexton announced a gentleman who insisted on seeing him on important business.
“I told him you would see no one at this hour, but he says he must see you.”
“Show him in,” Gordon said, with a frown.
The man entered, gazed at the preacher with curious interest, and stood with his silk hat in hand, smiling.
“This is Doctor Gordon?”
“Leave off the doctor and you have it right.”
“I am the bearer of good news. A client of mine has instructed me to call and say that the sum of one million dollars will be placed to your credit in the Garfield National Bank within two years, and that you will be its sole trustee for the building of your projected Temple. One-third of it will be available within three months. I am sorry, I am forbidden to disclose the name.”
Gordon sprang to his feet, pale as death, overwhelmed with awe17. To have the answer of his prayers, the agonising of his soul for years, answered in the hour of utter defeat thrilled him with a sense of solemnity he had never felt. The man was not a man. He was the messenger swift and beautiful from the courts of heaven, for whose coming his eyes had long strained and his ears listened. Not a doubt of its truth shadowed his mind. He knew it was true. It was the fulfilment of life. It had been ordained18 from eternity19. He had seen it always. Now he saw with his eyes. A paean20 of exaltation welled within him.
With dimmed eyes he grasped the lawyer’s hand and fairly crushed it in his iron grip.
“My friend, your face will always be beautiful to me, and your name a song of joy. You have come to lift me from the gulf21 of despair and renew my faith.”
“With all my heart I congratulate you,” he warmly responded.
He left his card, and Gordon locked his door, walked back to his desk and fell on his knees. In transports of childlike gratitude22 he poured out his soul. All the old faith in prayer was in him again, the breath he breathed. He talked to God as to a loving father, promising23 in broken accents to cleanse24 his heart of every selfish thought and consecrate25 anew every energy to his work.
And then he caught the perfume of flowers, and saw the face of a woman, and she was not the wife of his youth or the mother of his children.
“God forgive me for the drifting of the past,” he cried. “I will tear this madness out of my heart and love only Thee. I will be true to the vows26 taken at Thy altar. I have been wayward and sinned in Thy sight in heart and thought. Wash me in Thy love and I shall be clean, and though my sins be as scarlet27 they shall be like wool.”
He rose from his knees determined to go immediately to Kate Ransom, tell her the news, make a clean breast of his love for her, beg her to put the ocean between them, and for all time end their dangerous relationship.
She greeted him with reserve, and seemed embarrassed.
With impetuous rush he told her the tidings.
“I’ve been lifted from the depths of Sheol to the highest heaven. Every hope and dream of my struggle is a living reality. An unknown millionaire has given the whole sum needed—a million dollars—and our Temple will rise in grandeur28!”
She smiled timidly, and said: “I knew it would be so. You were glorious this morning.”
He felt her embarrassment29 and wondered if she could have divined his grim purpose of separation.
“You do not seem so glad as I thought you would be,” he said, with something of reproach in his voice.
“Some joys are too intense for speech. The scene this morning and your burning message went too deep for words.”
“I understand,” he said softly.
“I wonder if you do?” she asked, dropping her eyes.
“Yes, and I have come to the hardest task of my life, one of the bitterest and one of the sweetest,” he said, with deliberation.
She glanced at him quickly and began to tremble.
“Not another hour must pass without a confession30 to you.”
He moved across the room and sat down as if by an effort to put distance between them.
“What is it?” she asked, colouring.
He was silent a moment and then said with low, deliberate tenderness:
“I love you.”
She sobbed31, and he looked steadily32 out of the window.
“I dare not sit by your side when I tell you this,” he continued passionately33. “I have felt it growing in spite of reason or will. I know it’s tragedy and sealed my lips with bolts of steel. I have been too weak to keep away from you, strong enough to keep silent. But God has sent his messenger to-day to recall me to duty. There is truth in the old faith. He has heard and answered the prayer of my heart. Somewhere in this Mammon-cursed city there is one beautiful disinterested34 soul that gives and asks nothing. I have seen, as in a flash of lightning, my danger. I must tear this passion out of my life, though it kill me. I must be true to my vows. I must live without scandal or shame. And you,” he paused and his voice sank to a tense whisper—“my beautiful darling, glorious love of my manhood—you must help me!”
He buried his face in his great hands, convulsed with emotion.
“I will, my dearest,” she tenderly answered.
“If I had failed to-day,” he went on tremblingly, “perhaps in reckless fury I might have forgotten duty, dashed the cup of this martyrdom from my lips, and drowned conscience in the sweetness of your kiss. But God sent success, not failure. And I must be worthy35. I have sinned a thousand times as I have gloated over your beauty, heard the music of your voice, touched your soft hand and looked into your soul through those dear blue eyes. It must end. One hour thus face to face we will speak, and never again by word or deed recall that we are aught to one another. I have not asked if you love me. How well I know the tragic36 truth! But you will tell me once, that my ears may never forget the words on your lips.”
“I love you, I love you, I-love-you!” she sobbed in anguish37.
“We must never be together alone again,” he sighed.
“No.”
“We must not see each other any more.”
“It is best,” she said, with despair.
“I dare not touch your hand—good-by!” he cried, staggering to his feet.
“Good-by, Frank, my hero, my love—my God!”
He took one step toward the door, but his feet carried him to her side.
He trembled, hesitated, and then slowly drew her to his heart. Her arms stole around his neck and her head drooped38 on his breast, the perfume of her hair was in his nostrils39, and their lips met in burning kisses.
“God forgive us! It was more than mortal flesh could bear to go without one moment of love’s sweet life!” he cried. “And now we must part.”
He took her hands in his and gently kissed them, while she looked away seeing only his face, for it had long since filled the world.
He turned abruptly40 into the hall, and, moving to the door with swift step, he saw lying on the silver tray the card of the lawyer he had met an hour ago. In a moment it flashed over him that Kate was the unknown messenger. He had not dreamed her fortune of such magnitude.
He seized the card and rushed back into the room.
“Is that your lawyer’s name?” he gasped41.
She smiled and nodded her head in assent42.
“And I never dreamed it possible!”
He looked at her as though in a trance.
“Yes, I will confess now. You have confessed to me. My fortune came direct from my grandmother, who willed me her farm on which the oil was discovered. My father’s fortune is worth perhaps five hundred thousand dollars. Mine was worth about two million dollars. I have given one to you. I may give you the other if you ask it. One was all you asked.”
Again he took her to his heart.
“I have misread the message. Such love is in itself divine, and its own defense43. You are mine by the higher law of life. I will not give you up—you are mine, mine! I will defy the world. I loved my child-wife. I was honest then. I will be honest now. I loved as a boy loves. Now I am a man, with a man’s fierce passions, and you are the answer—strength calling to strength, deep answering unto deep! Your eyes, my darling, flash the beauty of every flower that blooms and every star of the sky; in your hair is the rose’s breath and the golden glory of the sun! I will not live with one woman and love another.”
And the twilight44 deepened into night while they held each other’s hands and smiled into each other’s faces.
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1
nervously
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| adv.神情激动地，不安地 | |
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2
untied
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| 松开，解开( untie的过去式和过去分词 )； 解除，使自由； 解决 | |
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3
subscription
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| n.预订，预订费，亲笔签名，调配法，下标（处方） | |
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4
subscriptions
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| n.（报刊等的）订阅费( subscription的名词复数 )；捐款；（俱乐部的）会员费；捐助 | |
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5
puerile
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| adj.幼稚的，儿童的 | |
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eloquence
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| n.雄辩；口才，修辞 | |
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7
wielded
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| 手持着使用（武器、工具等）( wield的过去式和过去分词 )； 具有； 运用（权力）； 施加（影响） | |
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8
dictated
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| v.大声讲或读( dictate的过去式和过去分词 )；口授；支配；摆布 | |
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9
monarchs
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| 君主，帝王( monarch的名词复数 ) | |
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10
ransom
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| n.赎金，赎身；v.赎回，解救 | |
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11
generosity
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| n.大度，慷慨，慷慨的行为 | |
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12
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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13
preposterous
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| adj.荒谬的，可笑的 | |
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14
scrawled
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| 乱涂，潦草地写( scrawl的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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15
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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16
stupor
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| v.昏迷；不省人事 | |
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17
awe
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| n.敬畏，惊惧；vt.使敬畏，使惊惧 | |
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18
ordained
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| v.任命（某人）为牧师( ordain的过去式和过去分词 )；授予（某人）圣职；（上帝、法律等）命令；判定 | |
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19
eternity
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| n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷 | |
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20
paean
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| n.赞美歌，欢乐歌 | |
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21
gulf
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| n.海湾；深渊，鸿沟；分歧，隔阂 | |
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22
gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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23
promising
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| adj.有希望的，有前途的 | |
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24
cleanse
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| vt.使清洁，使纯洁，清洗 | |
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25
consecrate
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| v.使圣化，奉…为神圣；尊崇；奉献 | |
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26
vows
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| 誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿 | |
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27
scarlet
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| n.深红色，绯红色，红衣；adj.绯红色的 | |
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28
grandeur
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| n.伟大，崇高，宏伟，庄严，豪华 | |
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29
embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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30
confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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31
sobbed
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| 哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说 | |
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32
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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33
passionately
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| ad.热烈地，激烈地 | |
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34
disinterested
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| adj.不关心的，不感兴趣的 | |
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35
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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36
tragic
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| adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的 | |
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37
anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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38
drooped
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| 弯曲或下垂，发蔫( droop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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39
nostrils
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| 鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
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40
abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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41
gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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42
assent
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| v.批准，认可；n.批准，认可 | |
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43
defense
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| n.防御，保卫；[pl.]防务工事；辩护，答辩 | |
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44
twilight
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| n.暮光，黄昏；暮年，晚期，衰落时期 | |
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