John Vaughan had secured a loose horse on emerging from his friendly swamp. The shadows of night had given him the chance to escape. His horse was fresh, the rain had begun to fall, the heat had abated1 and he made good time.
He reached the office before midnight, took his seat at his desk, pale and determined2 to tell the truth. He wrote an account of the battle and the panic in which it had ended so vivid, so accurate, so terrible in its confession3 of riot and dismay, the editor refused to print it.
"Why not?" John sternly demanded.
"It won't do."
"It's true!"
"Then the less said about it the better. Let's hush4 it up."
John smiled:
"I'm sorry. I would like to see that thing in type just as I saw and felt and lived it. It's a good story and it's my last—it's a pity to kill it——"
"Your last? What do you mean?" the chief broke in.
"That I'm going into the ranks, and see if I am a coward—" he paused and scowled—"it looked like it yesterday for a while, and my curiosity's aroused. Besides, the country happens to need me."
"Rubbish," the editor cried, "the country will get all the men it needs without you. You're a trained newspaper man. We need you here."
"Thanks. My mind's made up. I'm going to Missouri and raise a company."
The chief laid a hand on John's shoulder. "Don't be a fool. Stand by the ship. I'll put your damned story in just as you wrote it if that's what hurts."
John flushed and shook his head:
"But it isn't. You may be right about the stuff. If I were editor I'd kill it myself. No. My dander's up. I want a little taste of the real thing. I saw enough yesterday to interest me. The country's calling and I've got to go."
The boys crowded around him and shook hands. From the door he waved his good-bye and they shouted in chorus:
"Good luck!"
Arrived at his room, he wrote a note to Betty Winter. He read it over and it seemed foolishly cold and formal. He tore it up and wrote a simpler one. It was flippant and a little presumptuous5. He destroyed that and decided6 on a single line:
"My Dear Miss Betty:
"Can I see you a few minutes before leaving to-night?
"John Vaughan."
He sent it and began hurriedly to dress, his mind in a whirl of nervous excitement. His vanity had not even paused to ask whether her answer would be yes. He was sure of it. The big exciting thing was that he had made a thrilling discovery in the midst of that insane panic. He was in love—for the first time in life foolishly and madly in love. Fighting and elbowing his way through that throng7 of desperate terror-stricken men and horses it had come to him in a flash that life was sweet and precious because Betty Winter was in it. The more he thought of it the more desperate became his determination not to be killed until he could see and tell her. Through every moment of his wild scramble8 through woods and fields and crowded road, up that tree and down again, his heart was beating her name:
"Betty—Betty—Betty!"
What a blind fool he had been not to see it before! She, too, had been blind. It was all clear now—this mysterious power that had called them from the first, neither of them knowing or understanding.
When Betty took his note from the maid's hand her eyes could see nothing for a moment. She turned away that Peggy should not catch her white face. She knew instinctively9 the message was from John Vaughan. It may have been written with his last breath and sent by a friend. She broke the seal with slow, nervous dread10, looked quickly, and laughed aloud when she had read, a joyous11, half hysterical12 little laugh.
"The man's waiting for an answer, Miss," the maid said.
Betty looked at her stupidly, and blushed:
"Why, of course, Peggy, in a moment tell him."
She wrote half a page in feverish13 haste, telling him how happy she was to know that he had safely returned, read it over twice, flushed with anger at her silly confusion and tore it into tiny bits. She tried again, but afraid to trust herself, spread John's note out and used it for a model,
"My Dear Mr. Vaughan:
"Certainly, as soon as you can call.
Betty Winter."
And then she sat down by her window and listened to the splash of the rain against the glass, counting the minutes until he should ring her door bell.
And when at last he came, she had to stand before her clock and count the seconds off for five minutes lest she should disgrace herself by rushing down stairs.
Their hands met in a moment of awkward silence. The play of mind on mind had set each heart pounding. The man of easy speech found for the first time that words were difficult.
"You've heard the black news, of course," he stammered14.
"Yes——"
Her eyes caught the haggard drawn15 look of his face with a start.
"You saw it all?" she asked.
"I saw so much that I can never hope to forget it," he answered bitterly.
He led her to a seat and she flushed with the sudden realization16 that he had been holding her hand since the moment they met. She drew it away with a quick, nervous movement, and sat down abruptly17.
"Was it really as bad as it looks to-day?" she asked with an attempt at conventional tones.
"Worse, Miss Betty. You can't imagine the sickening shame of it all. I was never in a battle before. I wouldn't mind repeating that experience at close quarters—but the panic——"
"The President is the coolest and most courageous18 man in the country to-day," she put in eagerly. "It's inspiring to talk to him."
A bitter speech against a Commander-in-Chief who could allow himself to be driven into a battle by the chatter19 of fools rose to his lips, but he remembered her admiration20 and was silent. He fumbled21 at his watch chain and pulled the corner of his black moustache with growing embarrassment22. The thing was more difficult than he had dreamed.
"I have resigned from the paper," he said at last.
"Resigned?" she repeated mechanically.
"Yes. I'm going back home to-night and help raise a company in answer to the President's proclamation."
The room was very still. Betty turned her eyes toward the window and listened to the splash of the wind driven rain.
"To your home town?" she faltered23.
"Yes. To Palmyra."
"Where your brother went to raise a company to fight us—strange, isn't it?" Her voice had a far-away sound as if she were talking to herself.
"Yes—to fight us," he repeated in low tones.
Again a silence fell between them. He looked steadily24 into her brown eyes that were burning now with a strange intensity25, tried to speak, and failed. He caught the gasp26 of terror in the deep breath with which she turned from his gaze.
"My chief was bitter against my going—I—I hope you approve—Miss Betty?" He spoke27 with pauses which betrayed his excitement.
"Yes, I'm glad——"
She stopped short, turned pale and fumbled at the lace handkerchief she carried.
"Every brave man who loves the union must feel as you do to-day—and go—no matter how hard it may be for those who—for those he leaves at home——"
She paused in embarrassment at the break she had almost made, and flushed scarlet28.
He leaned close:
"I'm afraid I'm not brave, Miss Betty. I ran with the rest of them yesterday, ran like a dog for my life"—he paused and caught his breath—"but I'm not sorry for it now. In the madness of that scramble to save my skin I had a sudden revelation of why life was sweet——"
He stopped and she scarcely breathed. Her heart seemed to cease beating. Her dry lips refused to speak the question she would ask. The sweet moment of pain and of glory had come. She felt his trembling hand seize her ice-cold fingers as he went on impetuously:
"Life was sweet because—because—I love you, Betty."
She sprang to her feet trembling from head to foot. He followed, whispering:
"My own, I love you—I love you——"
With sudden fierce strength he clasped her in his arms and covered her lips with kisses.
She lifted her trembling hands:
"Please—please——"
Again he smothered29 her words and held her in mad close embrace.
"Let me go—let me go!" she cried with sudden fury, thrusting him from her, breathless, her eyes blinded with tears.
"Tell me that you love me!" he cried with desperate pleading.
The splendid young figure faced him tense, quivering with rage.
"How dare you take me in your arms like that without a word?" Her eyes were flashing, her breast rising and falling with quick furious breathing.
He seized her hand and held it with cruel force. Her eyes blazed and he dropped it. She was thinking of the scene with his slender chivalrous30 brother. She could feel the soft kiss on the tips of her fingers and the blood surged to her face at the thought of this man's lips pressed on hers in mad, strangling passion without so much as by your leave! She could tear his eyes out.
He looked at her now in a hopeless stupor31 of regret.
"Forgive me, Betty," he faltered. "I—I couldn't help it."
Her eyes held his in a cold stare:
"I suppose that's all any woman has ever meant to you, and you took me for granted——"
He lifted his hand in protest.
"Please, please, Miss Betty," he groaned32.
"You may go now," she said with slow emphasis.
He looked at her a moment dazed, and a wave of sullen33 anger slowly mounted his face to the roots of his black tangled34 hair, which he suddenly brushed from his forehead.
Without a word he walked out into the storm, his jaws35 set. The door had scarcely closed, when the trembling figure crumpled36 on the lounge in a flood of bitter tears.
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1
abated
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| 减少( abate的过去式和过去分词 )； 减去； 降价； 撤消（诉讼） | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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hush
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| int.嘘，别出声；n.沉默，静寂；v.使安静 | |
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presumptuous
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| adj.胆大妄为的，放肆的，冒昧的，冒失的 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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7
throng
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| n.人群，群众；v.拥挤，群集 | |
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scramble
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| v.爬行，攀爬，杂乱蔓延，碎片，片段，废料 | |
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9
instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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11
joyous
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| adj.充满快乐的；令人高兴的 | |
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hysterical
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| adj.情绪异常激动的，歇斯底里般的 | |
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feverish
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| adj.发烧的，狂热的，兴奋的 | |
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14
stammered
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| v.结巴地说出( stammer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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15
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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16
realization
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| n.实现；认识到，深刻了解 | |
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17
abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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18
courageous
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| adj.勇敢的，有胆量的 | |
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19
chatter
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| vi.／n.喋喋不休；短促尖叫；(牙齿)打战 | |
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20
admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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21
fumbled
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| （笨拙地）摸索或处理（某事物）( fumble的过去式和过去分词 )； 乱摸，笨拙地弄； 使落下 | |
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22
embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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23
faltered
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| （嗓音）颤抖( falter的过去式和过去分词 )； 支吾其词； 蹒跚； 摇晃 | |
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24
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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intensity
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| n.强烈，剧烈；强度；烈度 | |
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26
gasp
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| n.喘息，气喘；v.喘息；气吁吁他说 | |
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27
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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28
scarlet
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| n.深红色，绯红色，红衣；adj.绯红色的 | |
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29
smothered
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| （使）窒息， （使）透不过气( smother的过去式和过去分词 )； 覆盖； 忍住； 抑制 | |
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30
chivalrous
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| adj.武士精神的；对女人彬彬有礼的 | |
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31
stupor
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| v.昏迷；不省人事 | |
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32
groaned
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| v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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33
sullen
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| adj.愠怒的，闷闷不乐的，(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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34
tangled
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| adj. 纠缠的，紊乱的 动词tangle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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35
jaws
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| n.口部；嘴 | |
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36
crumpled
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| adj. 弯扭的, 变皱的 动词crumple的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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