"I could kill him!"
The memory which stung deepest was the terror she had felt in his arms—the sudden fear of the brute4 quivering in tense muscles and throbbing5 in passionate7 kisses. She had thought this man a gentleman. In that flash of self-revealing he was simply a beast. It had unsettled her whole attitude toward life. For the first time she began to suspect the darker side of passion. If this were love, she would have none of it.
Again she resolved for the hundredth time, to banish8 the last thought of him. If there were no cleaner, more chivalrous9 men in the world she could live without them. But there were men with holier ideals. Ned Vaughan was one. She drew from the drawer the only letter she had received from him and the last she would probably get in many a day, as he had crossed the dead line of war and was now somewhere in the great silent South. She read it over and over with tender smiles:
"Dear Miss Betty;
"I can't disappear behind the battle lines without a last word to you. I just want to tell you that every hour, waking or dreaming, the memory of you is my inspiration. The hardest task is easy because my heart is beating with your name with every stroke. For me the drums throb6 it, the bugle10 calls it. I hear it in the tramp of soldiers, the rumble11 of gun, the beat of horses' hoofs13 and the rattle14 of sabre,—for I am fighting my way back, inch by inch, hour by hour, to you, my love!
"You cannot answer this. There will be no more mails from the South—no more mails from the North until I see you again on the Capitol Hill in Washington. There has never been a doubt in my heart that the South shall win—that I shall win. And when I stand before you then it will not be as conqueror15, though victorious16. I shall bow at your feet your willing slave. And I shall kiss my chains because your dear hands made them. I can expect no answer to this. I ask none. I need none. My love is enough. It's so big and wonderful it makes the world glorious.
"Ned."
How sharp and bitter the contrast between the soul of this chivalrous boy and his vain conceited17 brother! She loathed18 herself for her blind stupidity. Why had she preferred him? Why—why—why! The very question cut her. It was not because John Vaughan had chosen to cast his lot with her people of the North. Rubbish! She had a sneaking19 admiration20 for Ned because he had dared her displeasure in making his choice. There must be something perverse21 in her somewhere. She could see it now. It must be so or the evil in John Vaughan's character would not have drawn22 her as a magnet from the first. She hadn't a doubt now that all the stories about his fast life and his contempt for women were true and much more than gossip had dreamed.
He would write a letter of apology, of course, in due season. He was too shrewd a man of the world, too skillful an interpreter of the whims23 of women to write at once. He was waiting for her to cool—waiting until she should begin to be anxious. It was too transparent24. She would give him a surprise when his letter came. The shock would take a little of the conceit out of him. She would return his letter unopened by the next mail.
When four weeks passed without a word the first skirmish between love and pride began. Perhaps she had been unreasonable25 after all. Was it right to blame a man too harshly for being mad about the woman he loved? In her heart of hearts did she desire any other sort of lover? Tears of vexation came in spite of every effort to maintain her high position. She had to face the plain truth. She didn't desire a cold lover. She wished him to be strong, manly26, masterful—yes, masterful, that was it—yet infinitely27 tender. This man was simply a brute. And yet the memory of his mad embrace and the blind violence of his kisses had become each day more vivid and terrible—terrible because of their fascination28. She accepted the fact at last in a burst of bitter tears.
And then came the announcement in the Daily Republican of his return to the city and his attachment29 to the company of cavalry30 at McClellan's headquarters. The thought of his presence sent the blood surging in scarlet31 waves to her face. There was no longer any question in her mind that she had wounded him too deeply for forgiveness. Her dismissal had been so cold, so curt32, it had been an accusation33 of dishonor. She could see it clearly now. He had poured out his confession34 of utter love in a torrent35 of mad words and clasped her in his arms without thought or calculation, an act of instinctive36 resistless impulse. He had justly resented the manner in which she had repulsed37 him. Yet she had simply followed the impulse of her girlish heart, and she would die sooner than apologize.
She accepted the situation at last with a dull sense of pain and despair, and tried to find consolation38 in devotion to work in the hospitals which had begun to grow around the army of drilling volunteers.
Events were moving now with swift march, and her championship of the President gave her days of excitement which brought unexpected relief from her gloomy thoughts. She was witnessing the first movements of the National drama from the inside and its passion had stirred her imagination. Her father's growing hatred39 of Abraham Lincoln left her in no doubt as to whose master hand had guided the assaults on the rear of his distracted administration.
The fall of Cameron, the Secretary of War, had been the work of her father, with scarcely a suggestion from without. The Abolitionist had determined40 to force Lincoln to free the slaves at once or destroy him and his administration. They also were whispering the name of their chosen dictator who would assume the reins41 of power on his downfall.
The President was equally clear in his determination not to allow his hand to be forced and lose control of the Border Slave States, whose influence and power were becoming each day more and more essential to the preservation42 of the union. He had succeeded in separating the counties of Western Virginia and had created a new State out of them. His policy of conciliation43 and forbearance was slowly, but surely, welding Kentucky, Missouri and Maryland to the Nation.
Any tinkering at this moment with the question of Slavery would imperil the loyalty45 of these four States. He held them now and he refused to listen to any man or faction46 who asked him to loosen that grip.
The true policy of the Radicals47, Senator Winter realized, was to fire into the President's back through his generals in the field in an emancipation48 crusade which would work the North into a frenzy49 of passion. He had shrewdly calculated the chances, and he did not believe that Lincoln would dare risk his career on a direct order revoking50 such a proclamation.
General Hunger was the first to accept the mutinous51 scheme. He issued a proclamation declaring all slaves within the lines of the union army forever free, and a wave of passionate excitement swept the North. The quiet self-contained man in the White House did not wait to calculate the force of this storm. He revoked52 Hunter's order before the ink was dry on it.
Again Senator Winter invaded the Executive office:
"You dare, sir," he thundered, "to thus spit in the face of the millions of the loyal North who are pouring their blood and treasure into this war?"
"I do," was the even answer. "I am the President of the United States and as Commander-in-Chief of its Army and Navy I will not be disobeyed by my subordinates on an issue I deem vital to the Nation's existence. If in the fulness of God's time an emancipation proclamation must be issued in order to save the union, I know my duty and I'll do it without the interference of any of my generals in the field——"
He paused and glanced over the rims53 of his spectacles with a sudden flash from his deep set eyes:
"Do I make myself clear?"
Winter's face went white with anger as he slowly answered:
"Perfectly54. It seems you have learned nothing from the wrath55 with which your sacrifice of John C. Fremont to appease56 the slave power was received?"
"So it seems," was the laconic57 response. "Fremont issued, without consulting me, his famous proclamation last August. I saw your hand, Senator, in that clause 'freeing' the slaves in the State of Missouri."
"And I warn you now," the Senator growled58, "that the storm of indignation which met that act was nothing to one that will break about your head to-morrow! The curses of Fremont's soldiers still ring in your ears. The press, the pulpit, the platform and both Houses of Congress gave you a taste of their scorn you will not soon forget. Thousands of sober citizens who had given you their support, whose votes put you in this office, tore your picture down from their walls and trampled59 it under their feet. For the first time in the history of the Republic the effigy60 of a living President was burned publicly in the streets of an American city amid the jeers61 and curses of the men who elected him. Your sacrifice of Fremont has made him the idol62 of the West. He is to them to-day what Napoleon in exile was to France. This is a Government of the people. Even a President may go too far in daring to override63 public opinion!"
The giant figure slowly rose and faced his opponent, erect64, controlled, dignified65:
"But the question is, Senator, who is a better judge of true public opinion, you or I? It remains66 to be seen. In the meantime I must tell you once more that I am not the representative of a clique67, or faction. I am the Chief Magistrate68 of all the people—I am going to save this union for them and their children. I hope to live to see the death of Slavery. That is in God's hands. My duty to-day is as clear as the noonday sun. I can't lose the Border Slave States at this stage of the game and save the union—therefore I must hold them at all hazards. Let the heathen rage and the people imagine vain things if they will——"
"Then it's a waste of breath to talk!" the Senator suddenly shouted.
The rugged69 head bowed gracefully71:
"I thought so from the first—but I've tried to be polite——"
"Good day, sir!"
"Good day, Senator," the President laughed, "come in any time you want to let off steam. It'll make you feel easier and it won't hurt me."
Abraham Lincoln knew the real cause of public irritation72 and loss of confidence. The outburst of wrath over Fremont was but a symptom. The disease lay deeper. The people had lost confidence in his War Department through the failure of his first Secretary and the inactivity of the army under McClellan. He had applied73 the remedy to the first cause in the dismissal of Cameron and the appointment of Stanton. It remained to be seen whether he could control his Commanding General, or whether McClellan would control the Government.
The situation was an intolerable one—not only to the people who were sacrificing their blood and money, but to his own inherent sense of honor and justice. He had no right to organize and drill a mighty74 army to go into winter quarters, drink and play cards, and dance while a victorious foe75 flaunted76 their flag within sight of the Capitol.
Besides, the Western division under two obscure Generals, Grant and Sherman, had moved in force in mid-winter and with a mere77 handful of men compared to the hosts encamped in Washington had captured Fort Henry and Fort Donelson and taken fourteen thousand prisoners. The navy had brilliantly co?perated on the river, and this fact only made more painful the disgrace of the Confederate blockade of the Capital by its half dozen batteries on the banks of the Potomac.
The President was compelled to test the ugly question of the extent and power of General McClellan's personal support.
He returned from a tour of inspection78 and stood on the hilltop overlooking McClellan's miles of tents and curling camp fires. He turned to Mrs. Lincoln, who had accompanied him:
"You know what that is?"
"The Army of the Potomac, of course, Father."
"No!" he replied bitterly, "that's only McClellan's body guard—a hundred and eighty thousand."
The General had persistently79 refused to take any suggestion from his superior as to the movement of his army. Would Lincoln dare to force the issue between them and risk the mutiny of this Grand Army undoubtedly80 devoted81 to their brilliant young leader? There were many who believed that if he dared, the result would be a coup82 d'état which would place the man on horseback in supreme83 power.
The moment the President reached the point where he saw that further delay would mean grave peril44 to the Nation, he acted with a promptness which stunned84 the glittering military court over which the young Napoleon presided. From the White House, as Commander-in-Chief of the Army and Navy, he issued a military order for the advance of McClellan's forces on Richmond!
The idea of such an order coming from a backwoods lawyer without military training was preposterous85. Its audacity86 for a moment stunned the Commander of all the divisions of the army, but when the excitement had subsided87 on the day it was done, General McClellan, for the first time, squarely faced the fact that there was a real man in the White House.
The issue was a square one. He must obey that order or march on the Capital with his army, depose88 the President, and declare a dictatorship.
He decided89 to move on Richmond. He wrangled90 over the route he would take, but he moved, when once in motion, with remarkable91 swiftness.
Within two weeks a magnificent army of one hundred and twenty thousand men, fourteen thousand horses, forty-four batteries with endless trains of wagons92, supplies, and pontoon bridges were transported by water two hundred miles to the Virginia Peninsula without the loss of a life.
The day was a glorious one toward the end of March, when Betty stood on the hill above Alexandria and watched, with heavy heart, the magnificent pageant93 of the embarking94 army. The spring was unusually early. The grass was already a rich green carpet in the shaded lanes. Jonquils were flaming from every walkway, the violets beginning to lift their blue heads from their dark green leaves and the trees overhead were hanging with tassels96 behind which showed the clusters of fresh buds bursting into leaf.
The armed host covered hill and plain and stretched out in every direction as far as the eye could reach. Four hundred ships had moved up the river to receive them. Companies and regiments97 of magnificently equipped soldiers were marching to the throb of drum and the scream of fife. Thousands of cavalrymen, in gay uniforms, their golden yellow shining in the sun, were dashing across a meadow at the foot of the hill. The long lines of infantry98 stretched from the hills through the streets of Alexandria down to the water's edge. Everywhere the regimental bands were playing martial99 music.
Somewhere among those marching, cheering, laughing, shouting thousands was the man she loved, leaving without a word.
An awkward private soldier passed with his arm around his sweetheart. Her eyes were red and she leaned close. They were not talking any more. But a few minutes were left and he must go—perhaps to die. Words had ceased to mean anything.
Her heart rose in fierce rebellion against the wall of silence her pride had reared. A group of magnificently equipped young officers passed on horseback. Perhaps of General McClellan's staff! She looked in vain among them for his familiar face. If he passed she would disgrace herself—she felt it with increasing certainty. Why had she come here, anyway? As well tell the truth—in the vague hope of a meeting.
The quick beat of a horse's hoof12 echoed along the road. She looked and recognized John Vaughan! He was coming straight toward her. Instinctively100 and resistlessly she moved to meet him.
She waved her hand in an awkward little gesture as if she had tried to stop after beginning the movement. His eye had been quick to see and with a graceful70 pull on his horse's bridle101 he had touched the pommel of the saddle, leaped to his feet, cap in hand, and stood trembling before her.
"It's too good to be true!" he exclaimed breathlessly.
She extended her bare hand and he held it without protest. It was trembling violently.
"You were going to leave without an effort to see me?" she asked in low tones.
"I was just debating that problem when I saw you standing102 by the road," he answered soberly. "I don't think I could have done it. It's several hours before we embark95. I was just figuring on how I could reach you in time."
"Really?" she murmured.
"Honestly."
"Well, if you had gone without a word, I couldn't have blamed you"—she paused and bit her lips—"I was very foolish that day."
"It was my fault," he broke in, "all my fault. I was a brute. I realized it too late. I'd have eaten my pride and gone back to see you the day I reached Washington if I had thought it any use. I have never seen such a look in the eyes of a woman as you gave me that day, Miss Betty. If there had been any love in your heart I knew that I had killed it——"
She looked into his eyes with a tender smile:
"I thought you had——"
He pressed her hand tenderly.
"But now?"
"I know that love can't be killed by a kiss."
She stopped suddenly, threw her arms around his neck, and kissed him. He held her close for a moment, murmuring:
"My sweetheart—my darling!"
Through four swift beautiful hours they sat on a log, held each other's hands, and told over and over the old sweet story. Another long, tender embrace and he was gone. She stood on the little wharf103, among hundreds of weeping sisters and mothers and sweethearts, and watched his boat drift down the river. He waved his handkerchief to her until the big unfinished dome104 of the Capitol began to fade on the distant horizon.
点击收听单词发音
1 blot | |
vt.弄脏(用吸墨纸)吸干;n.污点,污渍 | |
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2 conceit | |
n.自负,自高自大 | |
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3 exhausted | |
adj.极其疲惫的,精疲力尽的 | |
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4 brute | |
n.野兽,兽性 | |
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5 throbbing | |
a. 跳动的,悸动的 | |
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6 throb | |
v.震颤,颤动;(急速强烈地)跳动,搏动 | |
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7 passionate | |
adj.热情的,热烈的,激昂的,易动情的,易怒的,性情暴躁的 | |
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8 banish | |
vt.放逐,驱逐;消除,排除 | |
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9 chivalrous | |
adj.武士精神的;对女人彬彬有礼的 | |
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10 bugle | |
n.军号,号角,喇叭;v.吹号,吹号召集 | |
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11 rumble | |
n.隆隆声;吵嚷;v.隆隆响;低沉地说 | |
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12 hoof | |
n.(马,牛等的)蹄 | |
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13 hoofs | |
n.(兽的)蹄,马蹄( hoof的名词复数 )v.(兽的)蹄,马蹄( hoof的第三人称单数 ) | |
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14 rattle | |
v.飞奔,碰响;激怒;n.碰撞声;拨浪鼓 | |
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15 conqueror | |
n.征服者,胜利者 | |
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16 victorious | |
adj.胜利的,得胜的 | |
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17 conceited | |
adj.自负的,骄傲自满的 | |
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18 loathed | |
v.憎恨,厌恶( loathe的过去式和过去分词 );极不喜欢 | |
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19 sneaking | |
a.秘密的,不公开的 | |
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20 admiration | |
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕 | |
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21 perverse | |
adj.刚愎的;坚持错误的,行为反常的 | |
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22 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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23 WHIMS | |
虚妄,禅病 | |
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24 transparent | |
adj.明显的,无疑的;透明的 | |
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25 unreasonable | |
adj.不讲道理的,不合情理的,过度的 | |
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26 manly | |
adj.有男子气概的;adv.男子般地,果断地 | |
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27 infinitely | |
adv.无限地,无穷地 | |
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28 fascination | |
n.令人着迷的事物,魅力,迷恋 | |
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29 attachment | |
n.附属物,附件;依恋;依附 | |
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30 cavalry | |
n.骑兵;轻装甲部队 | |
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31 scarlet | |
n.深红色,绯红色,红衣;adj.绯红色的 | |
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32 curt | |
adj.简短的,草率的 | |
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33 accusation | |
n.控告,指责,谴责 | |
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34 confession | |
n.自白,供认,承认 | |
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35 torrent | |
n.激流,洪流;爆发,(话语等的)连发 | |
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36 instinctive | |
adj.(出于)本能的;直觉的;(出于)天性的 | |
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37 repulsed | |
v.击退( repulse的过去式和过去分词 );驳斥;拒绝 | |
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38 consolation | |
n.安慰,慰问 | |
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39 hatred | |
n.憎恶,憎恨,仇恨 | |
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40 determined | |
adj.坚定的;有决心的 | |
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41 reins | |
感情,激情; 缰( rein的名词复数 ); 控制手段; 掌管; (成人带着幼儿走路以防其走失时用的)保护带 | |
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42 preservation | |
n.保护,维护,保存,保留,保持 | |
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43 conciliation | |
n.调解,调停 | |
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44 peril | |
n.(严重的)危险;危险的事物 | |
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45 loyalty | |
n.忠诚,忠心 | |
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46 faction | |
n.宗派,小集团;派别;派系斗争 | |
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47 radicals | |
n.激进分子( radical的名词复数 );根基;基本原理;[数学]根数 | |
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48 emancipation | |
n.(从束缚、支配下)解放 | |
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49 frenzy | |
n.疯狂,狂热,极度的激动 | |
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50 revoking | |
v.撤销,取消,废除( revoke的现在分词 ) | |
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51 mutinous | |
adj.叛变的,反抗的;adv.反抗地,叛变地;n.反抗,叛变 | |
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52 revoked | |
adj.[法]取消的v.撤销,取消,废除( revoke的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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53 rims | |
n.(圆形物体的)边( rim的名词复数 );缘;轮辋;轮圈 | |
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54 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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55 wrath | |
n.愤怒,愤慨,暴怒 | |
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56 appease | |
v.安抚,缓和,平息,满足 | |
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57 laconic | |
adj.简洁的;精练的 | |
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58 growled | |
v.(动物)发狺狺声, (雷)作隆隆声( growl的过去式和过去分词 );低声咆哮着说 | |
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59 trampled | |
踩( trample的过去式和过去分词 ); 践踏; 无视; 侵犯 | |
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60 effigy | |
n.肖像 | |
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61 jeers | |
n.操纵帆桁下部(使其上下的)索具;嘲讽( jeer的名词复数 )v.嘲笑( jeer的第三人称单数 ) | |
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62 idol | |
n.偶像,红人,宠儿 | |
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63 override | |
vt.不顾,不理睬,否决;压倒,优先于 | |
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64 erect | |
n./v.树立,建立,使竖立;adj.直立的,垂直的 | |
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65 dignified | |
a.可敬的,高贵的 | |
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66 remains | |
n.剩余物,残留物;遗体,遗迹 | |
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67 clique | |
n.朋党派系,小集团 | |
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68 magistrate | |
n.地方行政官,地方法官,治安官 | |
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69 rugged | |
adj.高低不平的,粗糙的,粗壮的,强健的 | |
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70 graceful | |
adj.优美的,优雅的;得体的 | |
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71 gracefully | |
ad.大大方方地;优美地 | |
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72 irritation | |
n.激怒,恼怒,生气 | |
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73 applied | |
adj.应用的;v.应用,适用 | |
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74 mighty | |
adj.强有力的;巨大的 | |
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75 foe | |
n.敌人,仇敌 | |
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76 flaunted | |
v.炫耀,夸耀( flaunt的过去式和过去分词 );有什么能耐就施展出来 | |
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77 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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78 inspection | |
n.检查,审查,检阅 | |
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79 persistently | |
ad.坚持地;固执地 | |
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80 undoubtedly | |
adv.确实地,无疑地 | |
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81 devoted | |
adj.忠诚的,忠实的,热心的,献身于...的 | |
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82 coup | |
n.政变;突然而成功的行动 | |
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83 supreme | |
adj.极度的,最重要的;至高的,最高的 | |
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84 stunned | |
adj. 震惊的,惊讶的 动词stun的过去式和过去分词 | |
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85 preposterous | |
adj.荒谬的,可笑的 | |
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86 audacity | |
n.大胆,卤莽,无礼 | |
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87 subsided | |
v.(土地)下陷(因在地下采矿)( subside的过去式和过去分词 );减弱;下降至较低或正常水平;一下子坐在椅子等上 | |
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88 depose | |
vt.免职;宣誓作证 | |
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89 decided | |
adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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90 wrangled | |
v.争吵,争论,口角( wrangle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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91 remarkable | |
adj.显著的,异常的,非凡的,值得注意的 | |
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92 wagons | |
n.四轮的运货马车( wagon的名词复数 );铁路货车;小手推车 | |
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93 pageant | |
n.壮观的游行;露天历史剧 | |
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94 embarking | |
乘船( embark的现在分词 ); 装载; 从事 | |
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95 embark | |
vi.乘船,着手,从事,上飞机 | |
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96 tassels | |
n.穗( tassel的名词复数 );流苏状物;(植物的)穗;玉蜀黍的穗状雄花v.抽穗, (玉米)长穗须( tassel的第三人称单数 );使抽穗, (为了使作物茁壮生长)摘去穗状雄花;用流苏装饰 | |
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97 regiments | |
(军队的)团( regiment的名词复数 ); 大量的人或物 | |
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98 infantry | |
n.[总称]步兵(部队) | |
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99 martial | |
adj.战争的,军事的,尚武的,威武的 | |
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100 instinctively | |
adv.本能地 | |
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101 bridle | |
n.笼头,束缚;vt.抑制,约束;动怒 | |
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102 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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103 wharf | |
n.码头,停泊处 | |
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104 dome | |
n.圆屋顶,拱顶 | |
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