He had instantly resented it. Perhaps he had scented3 danger. And yet it was preposterous4 to think the girl he worshipped could have desired this dangerous knowledge to be used against him.
Ackerman in discussing his mill projects in the office during the afternoon had asked him a number of irritating questions about the Klan which he had skilfully5 parried. His mind was over-sensitive and sore perhaps from this annoyance7. Ackerman could have nothing to do with Stella—they were not even passing acquaintances.
From every point of view he tested the problem of her possible design to use this knowledge and found it preposterous. There was but one reasonable explanation. She had found with her keen woman’s intuition the one weak spot in his mental attitude toward her. Yes, it was true. He loved her with passionate8 devotion, but he had not fully6 trusted her. She had discovered it. Had she not thus revealed the true state of her own heart? She must love him. Otherwise this keen sensitiveness to his moods would not be possible. The thought was sweet in spite of his agony over their break. After all she was right, proud little queen of his heart, to demand his loyal faith! Should he yield to her this perilous9 secret of his own life? Would he thus endanger those with whom he had been associated in the daring task of saving the civilisation10 of the South in the blackest hour of her history?
While the battle thus raged in his soul he reached his room, removed his drenched11 clothing and replaced them with dry ones. He walked to his window and looked out on the spluttering street lamp across the way struggling to hold its tiny flame against the storm and wondered why he had dressed again. He should have gone to bed. And then the dawning sense of loss and misery12 crushed him. He sank into a chair and watched the rain dash against the glass and stream down the sides of the window, his heart aching in dumb agony.
“My God!” he cried at last, “I can’t live without her! She loves me, and I must win her!”
The memory of her cold words as she ordered him from the house came crashing back into his heart with sinister13 echoes. Never had he seen a human being so transformed by anger—eyes that a moment before had held him enraptured14 with their tender light had flashed cold points of steel. Hands, soft and warm and full of velvet15 feeling, had closed in rage as the claws of a tigress!
Suppose she refused to see him again? It was unthinkable. He seemed to have lived a century within the weeks since she had called him to her side. The life which had gone before grew dim. Four years of war and two years of daring secret revolution as a leader of the Invisible Empire faded from his consciousness. Only a great love remained, and those days by her side seemed to hold the full measure of his life.
He undressed and went to bed, only to roll and toss hour after hour without sleep.
He saw the first gray light of dawn with a sense of utter desolation. The rain had ceased an hour before. Swift flying clouds and swaying tree-tops heralded16 the coming of a clear, beautiful day. He determined17 to write at once and beg to see her. In a moment his mind was on fire with his passionate plea. As the sun rose, reflecting through scurrying18 clouds its scarlet19 and purple glory, he hastily dressed, sat down at his table and poured out his anguish20 in burning words of tenderness and love. He read it over with renewed hope. Never had he expressed himself so well. The letter was a living thing. No woman’s hand could touch it without feeling its vital power. An immortal21 soul beat within it.
He had added the last line of a postscript22 begging her to name an early hour at which he might call, and sat in dull moody23 reverie unconscious of the flight of time.
A gentle knock on his door roused him. He opened it and stared blankly at Susie’s gentle face.
“I trust you’re not sick, Mr. John,” she said. “Everybody is through breakfast. I’ve kept yours warm.”
“Thank you, Miss Susie. I’ve only a little headache. I won’t eat any breakfast. I’ve important work at the office. I’m going down at once.”
As he passed her at the head of the stairs she said with a wistful look:
“Mama says she heard you stirring all night. If I can help you, won’t you let me?”
“Yes, little comrade, I will. I’ll let you know,” he answered, swinging quickly down the stairs and out the front door.
He found a boy on the street and sent him to Stella with his letter. He stood at his office door and watched him until out of sight and counted the minutes until he reappeared. He had paid him a dime24 on dispatching the letter and promised to double it if he came back in a hurry. Fifteen minutes later he smiled as he saw the boy coming in a run, his swift bare feet making the dirt fly in the middle of the street.
“I knew it! Of course, she will see me!” he exclaimed as he bounded up his stairs two rounds at a jump. He gave the astonished boy a quarter instead of another dime, hurried into his office, and slammed the door. He felt the weight of the letter with faint misgivings25. It was large to have been written so quickly. Yet it was addressed with her own dear hand. He tore it open, and from his trembling fingers dropped his own letter with the seal unbroken. Not a line from her. Her meaning could not be misunderstood. She could have offered him no deeper insult. He sank to his seat with a groan26 and sat for an hour in a stupor27 of wounded pride. “I won’t accept such an answer from her!” he cried bitterly. “And I won’t stand on ceremony.”
He walked down the street to the gate of the driveway of the Graham house, hoping he might find Aunt Julie Ann at her cottage. The door was closed and he could get no response to his knock. He looked longingly28 at the old house shining with its snow white doors and windows against the dark fresh green of the rain-soaked trees, and thought with a pang29 of his quarrel over its possession. What did houses matter if the heart was sick unto death! The humblest Negro cabin would be a palace if only her face would shine from the doorway30!
He felt himself drawn31 toward her with resistless force and before he realised what he was doing his hand was on the brass32 knocker and its echoes were ringing through the hall.
Aunt Julie Ann shook her head as she ushered33 him in.
“I wish ye hadn’t come, marse John,” she said sorrowfully.
“Why not?”
“She shut hersef up in de room an’ won’t let nobody come in. I creep up to de door, and hear her cryin’ sof’ an’ low. I knock an’ she didn’ answer. I knock again an’ calls her sweet names an’ ax her please lemme do sumfin for her. She jump up an’ stamp her foot an’ say she kill me ef I doan’ leave her ’lone. I’se skeered of her, honey, she ain’t lak our folks. When de old Boy’s in her lak it is ter day she talks jes lak de Judge. When she laughs an’ plays an’ looks purty as an angel her voice jest like her Ma’s, low an’ sweet.”
“Tell her I’m here and wish to see her”—John interrupted with impatience34.
Aunt Julie Ann shook her head again:
“You better not honey!”
“I must see her. Try!”
John stood at the foot of the stairs nervously35 fumbling36 his hat while Aunt Julie Ann climbed to the floor and knocked on her door.
He listened breathlessly for her answer. The key clicked in the lock and Stella opened it wide enough to be distinctly heard. Her voice rang cold and clear:
“Tell Mr. Graham to leave this house instantly and never enter it again!”
The door closed and the bolt flashed into its place again.
John’s face flushed red, the colour slowly fading as his strong jaws37 snapped with new determination.
“In spite of the devil, I’ll win her yet!”
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收听单词发音
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1
zephyr
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| n.和风，微风 | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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scented
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| adj.有香味的；洒香水的；有气味的v.嗅到(scent的过去分词) | |
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preposterous
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| adj.荒谬的，可笑的 | |
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5
skilfully
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| adv. (美skillfully)熟练地 | |
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6
fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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annoyance
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| n.恼怒，生气，烦恼 | |
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8
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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9
perilous
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| adj.危险的，冒险的 | |
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civilisation
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| n.文明，文化，开化，教化 | |
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11
drenched
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| adj.湿透的；充满的v.使湿透( drench的过去式和过去分词 )；在某人（某物）上大量使用（某液体） | |
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12
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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13
sinister
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| adj.不吉利的，凶恶的，左边的 | |
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14
enraptured
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| v.使狂喜( enrapture的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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velvet
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| n.丝绒，天鹅绒；adj.丝绒制的，柔软的 | |
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16
heralded
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| v.预示( herald的过去式和过去分词 )；宣布（好或重要） | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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18
scurrying
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| v.急匆匆地走( scurry的现在分词 ) | |
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scarlet
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| n.深红色，绯红色，红衣；adj.绯红色的 | |
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20
anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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immortal
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| adj.不朽的；永生的，不死的；神的 | |
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postscript
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| n.附言，又及；(正文后的)补充说明 | |
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moody
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| adj.心情不稳的，易怒的，喜怒无常的 | |
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dime
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| n.（指美国、加拿大的钱币）一角 | |
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misgivings
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| n.疑虑，担忧，害怕；疑虑，担心，恐惧( misgiving的名词复数 )；疑惧 | |
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groan
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| vi./n.呻吟，抱怨；(发出)呻吟般的声音 | |
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27
stupor
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| v.昏迷；不省人事 | |
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longingly
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| adv. 渴望地 热望地 | |
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29
pang
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| n.剧痛，悲痛，苦闷 | |
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30
doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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31
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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32
brass
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| n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器 | |
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33
ushered
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| v.引，领，陪同( usher的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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34
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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35
nervously
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| adv.神情激动地，不安地 | |
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36
fumbling
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| n. 摸索,漏接 v. 摸索,摸弄,笨拙的处理 | |
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37
jaws
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| n.口部；嘴 | |
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