"We're not all built like you, ma'am, ter do our stint6 of work on ditch-water and shell-snails," he explained. "Victuals7 and drink I'll have; else I must grumble8 ter them over the wall. I can't dig my best on offal."
There fell a morning when John Lee visited his grandmother, and she saw by his face that a climax9 had come in his fortunes. He was gloomy and sad, yet of his own affairs he said nothing until Lovey mentioned them.
"I'm on a private errand," he said, "and since 'tis too early yet to see the prisoners, I thought I'd drop in and learn how you're faring."
She suspected that he was sent to spy by his master.
"I keep body and soul together, an' that's all I ever shall do," she answered, little thinking that John Lee had counted her guineas but a few weeks before. "Even so I have to thank they Yankees to the Prison."
He marvelled10 at her cunning.
"Do you hear anything of that fine gentleman, Master Cecil Stark11?" he inquired.
"Ah, you was all in love with him to Fox Farm, I hear. I wish there was more like him."
John did not answer, and his grandmother jeered12.
"I see how 'tis! Your nose be out of joint13. What did I tell you, Jack14? Broken hearts—broken fiddlesticks! Ban't the wench's heart as have broke, anyhow. So her throwed you over for a properer man?"
"No, by God! But——"
"You'm minded to let her off her bargain? Then the bigger fool you!"
She hit the truth in her brutal15 fashion. Lee had not trusted himself to pursue the matter of his attachment16; yet, as time progressed, he saw more clearly what Grace strove with might and main to conceal17. The accesses of her affection, the thousand little kindly18 thoughts for him—all wrote truth in letters of fire upon his aching heart. True love had acted differently—had claimed as well as given; and he knew, despite her assurance oftentimes repeated, that her attitude was founded on another impulse. Now, after grief and pain, his thoughts moved slowly to Cecil Stark. In turn he was attracted by and repulsed19 from the prospect20 of speech with the young prisoner. Finally he braced21 himself to the ordeal22; yet he knew not what he would say when they stood face to face. He felt as a man in a dream at this period. A most unreal and monstrous23 task lay before him. Deliberately24 he was turning his back upon all that made life precious; consciously he was hastening out of day into eternal night. He chafed25 against the noble impulse that drove him onward26; for a season he resisted it; then Grace Malherb's own steadfast27 purposes warmed his inspiration. Her delicacy28, her gentleness, her courage cried to him. Must he prove less brave and more selfish than she?
It was indeed sheer suffering that supported the girl now; but her strength rose superior to it, and only one who knew and loved her as this man knew and loved, had guessed at the things hidden in her heart. The torture simulated Grace to a surface brilliance29, as a bird will sing out of pure misery30 in sight of his robbed nest. Her eyes were ever bright, but unshed tears made them so; her plots and plans were ceaseless and sanguine31; but he knew that she rushed into them to escape from her heart. Love, indeed, had found her at last, but she struggled fiercely to shut him out since he had come too late. She never wearied of plans concerning the Malherb amphora, and of the future for John Lee when he should discover it. And he humoured her and himself a little longer, so that she scarcely realised that he had grasped the truth, despite his first sure guess thereat.
Now the story was told. He had wandered through the last autumnal glade32 of his fool's paradise; he had witnessed the red sunset of his dying romance; and he stood patient and strong under the cold starlight at the end.
John Lee was come to speak with Stark, for at certain times in the War Prison visitors were permitted to enter and have conversation or transact33 business with the captives. A tall grille of iron alone separated them, but to this grating all men might approach on certain days and traffic with the imprisoned34 for those trifles which they wrought35 and sold to any purchaser. Work-boxes, dinner mats, hand-screens, bone toys and ornaments36 they manufactured; and many persons came from Plymouth and other towns to see the spectacle of the great moorland limbo38 and carry from it some memento39 of the sufferers there. Nefarious40 and doubtful trades were also practised in the secret fastnesses of this gaol41. Exceeding good imitations of the eighteenpenny and three-shilling pieces then current passed into the world from Prince Town, and forged bank notes also circulated. Venal42 soldiery helped the prisoners in the business of uttering base money; but such simple and honest trash as passed to the visitors between the bars of the grille, was openly sold.
Hither from his grandmother's cottage came Lee, and soon he noted43 the tall form of Stark standing44 with Burnham and Ira Anson. They had nothing to sell, but watched the visitors with interest. Then Cecil caught sight of John Lee, hastened to the barrier and shook hands heartily45 through the bars.
"Well met, well met," he said. "I'm right glad to see you, Jack. Would that I could give you such a welcome as your master gave to me!"
"I hope you are well and strong again, Mr. Stark."
"Well enough——"
The American looked at Lee with intense scrutiny46 and wondered how much or little he might know concerning the affairs of his mistress.
"All are happy at Fox Tor Farm, I trust?"
"Well enough," answered the other, as Stark had answered him.
"That means not absolutely well," replied Cecil quickly. "Miss Malherb—all at least is well with her? Yet—Mr. Norcot. 'Tis intolerable, you know, Jack Lee, that I should speak of that man except to bless him for his goodness. Nevertheless—Miss Malherb—but this is none of your business I doubt?"
"It won't be much longer; for the present it is," said John. "I know she hates Mr. Peter Norcot. She's bound to hate him in self-defence. But, nevertheless, 'tis intended she shall marry him within six months."
"Yet there's a man she—she loves. It's too terrible! She suffers—she must suffer horribly. And this other—why doesn't he come forward and sweep Norcot out of her path? What clay is this creature made of that he holds back?"
"The man?"
"Do you know him?"
"I do."
"Then tell him from me—but what's the use of bellowing47 like a pent-up bull? Can't you, at least, assure him from yourself that he must be up and doing? You're in your lady's good graces—therefore justify48 her trust. Seek this laggard49 and explain how the land lies. Maybe 'tis her tyrant50 father he fears."
"The man knows everything. He can't help her."
"Cannot! What's the matter with him? Has he no arms, nor legs, nor courage? Is he made of gingerbread? Oh, if I—— But perhaps I speak ignorant of facts. Maybe he's chained fast, too."
"Yes, he's fast enough."
"Then 'tis your duty to do what a man may, Jack. You, at least, are free as well as faithful; and in love with Miss Malherb also, I'll wager51. You must love her if you're a man."
"I do love her."
"And can see her and speak to her every day of your blessed life! Oh, if I might but help you; if I might come between her and trouble——"
He broke off and ended his aspirations52 to himself. Then Lee spoke53.
"Could you escape from this place again?"
Stark started and looked round about him.
"For that cause—yes."
"There may be good reason why you should presently—not yet. The first thing——"
Here Cecil interrupted.
"'Good reason—good reason'? You know so much that you must know more. And you must tell me more."
"I'll tell you this. We are at cross purposes. I let you talk because—because it amused me in a strange sort of painful way. But the truth——"
He hesitated, and the full, fatal significance of the next few words impressed itself vividly54 upon his soul. There was no blinking it. The fact stared pitiless. He stood at the cross roads of fortune, and with his next word to Cecil Stark, his own path would be chosen, his own desire renounced55, for ever.
The American saw that great emotions fought in this man's mind, and waited for him to speak.
"The truth is that Miss Malherb is a free woman—so far as love is concerned."
"She told me when I——" began Stark; then he looked guilty and held his peace.
But Lee understood.
"When you asked her to marry you? I know. She could not say otherwise then. Bide3 bold and patient; the time will come when she may answer differently."
The other was terribly moved. A great expiration56 burst from him, half an oath of astonishment57, half a hallelujah.
"In God's name what are you that dare to speak these great things?" he asked under his breath, as though he apostrophised a sexless spirit.
"Her servant—her slave. At least I tell truth. Thus it stands—that other—he will not marry her."
"And she still loves him? This is damnable! Let me but meet that man!"
"No need to rage against him. He's a harmless fool enough and would be your friend—anybody's friend but his own. 'Twill be no grief to her, a joy rather to find that she's mistaken in him."
"She never really loved him then?"
"She didn't know—she didn't know. You forget how young she is. I think she loved him with an innocent, baby love; I think she'll always love him a little for the sake of—but let that go—she's free—free to listen to a lover. Now you know what I came to tell you."
Stark stared silently up into the sky and John Lee saw a light dawn upon his face, as though some angel passed in the air and shone upon him. Then the prisoner turned to Lee and spoke slowly and solemnly, for he was awestruck at the magnitude of this great revealment.
"If I owned a kingdom it should be yours this day. Please God I can do something, though nothing worthy58 such news. If you will, you shall have an acre of good Vermont earth presently for every word you've spoken to me. Yet earth's a pitiful payment for the hope of heaven on earth you've given to me."
He knew not the sufferings he wakened or the wounds he tore open. Voices laughed in John Lee's ears and told him that he had sold his heart.
"Leave that," he said roughly. "You mistake me. I'm here for love of her—not you. Listen, then I'll be gone. You must get in touch with her very gradual and delicate. I can go between you."
"I see; I see. What a learned man you are in these matters, Jack! With your Apollo's face you've had your experiences, I'll wager! But wait; I'll be gone and write a letter—just a reminder59 that I live. I'll sell you a little bone windmill I made for a turnkey's child; and in it I'll place a note. You must give me a coin for it, but you shall find a larger one inside for yourself."
He was gone, and Lee waited, seeing but not perceiving the throng60 around him, hearing but not heeding61 the medley62 of voices and the tramp of many feet. Aloft in the blue a hawk63 hung poised64 upon trembling wings. It surveyed the bustling65 scene, then glided66 away to the Moor37. The American, David Leverett, approached Lee and invited him to purchase a little mat of woven grass.
"Here, young feller," he said. "I reckon now your gal's just fretting67 herself silly for a keepsake, whoever she is; and you'd best not displeasure her by refusing. This was woven by a one-armed man, you see, and that makes it worth twice as much as any other mat. So 'tain't no manner o' use ter offer less than ten cents for it. Hev a squint68 at the workmanship—not bad for a crab69 with one claw—eh?"
Lee shook his head and the sailor gibed:—
"Not ten cents! Then by God! you don't love her, and she shall hear of it. Come now—fourpence, then—only four dirty pennies. Think o' the kisses she'll give for it."
Still Lee declined, his thoughts elsewhere, and Leverett cursed him for a fool, shook his stump70 in John's face, and turned to find a customer.
A few minutes later, as bugles71 were sounding for the visitors to depart, Cecil Stark came back with a little toy made of mutton bones.
"Hand me any small coin you have about you," he said. "You'll find a billet for Miss Malherb and two guineas for yourself in the drawer at the bottom."
These simple words hurt poor John cruelly, for their business-like and even sordid72 tenour jarred upon his own great renunciation in a way that Stark little guessed. Lee's heart was numb73; his mind had grown dreamy and incoherent now. Mechanically he took the windmill and handed Cecil a shilling. Then, without any word of farewell, he turned away and followed the departing crowds. He heard Cecil Stark say "God bless you!" as he went; but only a strange loathing74 of the money he carried rose in his mind. This mean detail of two guineas fretted75 him to madness. He could not see the matter as Cecil saw it; he jealously muffled76 his reason, and refused to behold77 in himself henceforth no more than that necessary thing—a lover's messenger.
Slowly he returned over the Moor towards Fox Tor Farm, and the thought of all that he had lost swept down upon him like a storm in the wilderness78. Temptations shook him then. He turned the toy of bone about in his hand. He might have crushed it and stamped it down under the bog79 in a moment. But nothing could crush the deed done. He relapsed into a sullen80 and ferocious81 sorrow. His feet dragged under him. A sense of age swept over him, and along with it came bitter remorse82 that he had flung his fate away to another man and set no store upon fortune's priceless gifts. A savage83 loathing of himself awoke in his spirit. He hated the flesh that he was clad in, poured contumely upon his own head and cried out aloud in the loneliness that his repulsive84 weakness proclaimed him what he was: a bastard85 and a creature fit only for the scorn of men. He cumbered the earth. None was the better for him. The cur that fled from a badger86 had greater courage; the baying foxhound more pluck, than had he. His grandmother's words in the past returned to his memory and clashed in his head like bells rung by demons87. This was how he had employed her wisdom; this was how he had cast away his grand opportunity to win fortune and love.
Siward's Cross rose before him and he stood near the home of his childhood. He sat awhile beside the hoary88 monument and leant his back against it. Then he turned and examined it with listless eyes, and watched the shadow cast by its squat89 arms darken the heather. Long he delayed; and, at last, as the sun, turning westward90, warmed the Moor and touched the cross with a gentle and roseate glory, the benignant, evening hour found out John Lee, soothed91 his giant sorrow and set its seal upon him. This venerable stone had power to comfort the lad's grief. He began to think less of himself and more of Grace Malherb. Her joy grew out of the sunset light; her young life's story opened before him; he saw a ribbon of pure gold stretching down into the West, where the sun was setting beyond a distant sea; and he knew that it was her road home.
Great words came to his recollection: "He that loseth his life shall save it," was written for him in the soft and mellow92 earth-shadows of sunset.
"My life shall be lost in her life," he said; "and if she's saved, I'm blessed above all deserving."
点击收听单词发音
1 hesitation | |
n.犹豫,踌躇 | |
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2 abide | |
vi.遵守;坚持;vt.忍受 | |
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3 bide | |
v.忍耐;等候;住 | |
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4 grievances | |
n.委屈( grievance的名词复数 );苦衷;不满;牢骚 | |
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5 wholesome | |
adj.适合;卫生的;有益健康的;显示身心健康的 | |
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6 stint | |
v.节省,限制,停止;n.舍不得化,节约,限制;连续不断的一段时间从事某件事 | |
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7 victuals | |
n.食物;食品 | |
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8 grumble | |
vi.抱怨;咕哝;n.抱怨,牢骚;咕哝,隆隆声 | |
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9 climax | |
n.顶点;高潮;v.(使)达到顶点 | |
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10 marvelled | |
v.惊奇,对…感到惊奇( marvel的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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11 stark | |
adj.荒凉的;严酷的;完全的;adv.完全地 | |
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12 jeered | |
v.嘲笑( jeer的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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13 joint | |
adj.联合的,共同的;n.关节,接合处;v.连接,贴合 | |
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14 jack | |
n.插座,千斤顶,男人;v.抬起,提醒,扛举;n.(Jake)杰克 | |
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15 brutal | |
adj.残忍的,野蛮的,不讲理的 | |
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16 attachment | |
n.附属物,附件;依恋;依附 | |
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17 conceal | |
v.隐藏,隐瞒,隐蔽 | |
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18 kindly | |
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
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19 repulsed | |
v.击退( repulse的过去式和过去分词 );驳斥;拒绝 | |
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20 prospect | |
n.前景,前途;景色,视野 | |
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21 braced | |
adj.拉牢的v.支住( brace的过去式和过去分词 );撑牢;使自己站稳;振作起来 | |
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22 ordeal | |
n.苦难经历,(尤指对品格、耐力的)严峻考验 | |
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23 monstrous | |
adj.巨大的;恐怖的;可耻的,丢脸的 | |
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24 deliberately | |
adv.审慎地;蓄意地;故意地 | |
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25 chafed | |
v.擦热(尤指皮肤)( chafe的过去式 );擦痛;发怒;惹怒 | |
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26 onward | |
adj.向前的,前进的;adv.向前,前进,在先 | |
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27 steadfast | |
adj.固定的,不变的,不动摇的;忠实的;坚贞不移的 | |
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28 delicacy | |
n.精致,细微,微妙,精良;美味,佳肴 | |
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29 brilliance | |
n.光辉,辉煌,壮丽,(卓越的)才华,才智 | |
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30 misery | |
n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦 | |
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31 sanguine | |
adj.充满希望的,乐观的,血红色的 | |
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32 glade | |
n.林间空地,一片表面有草的沼泽低地 | |
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33 transact | |
v.处理;做交易;谈判 | |
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34 imprisoned | |
下狱,监禁( imprison的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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35 wrought | |
v.引起;以…原料制作;运转;adj.制造的 | |
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36 ornaments | |
n.装饰( ornament的名词复数 );点缀;装饰品;首饰v.装饰,点缀,美化( ornament的第三人称单数 ) | |
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37 moor | |
n.荒野,沼泽;vt.(使)停泊;vi.停泊 | |
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38 limbo | |
n.地狱的边缘;监狱 | |
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39 memento | |
n.纪念品,令人回忆的东西 | |
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40 nefarious | |
adj.恶毒的,极坏的 | |
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41 gaol | |
n.(jail)监狱;(不加冠词)监禁;vt.使…坐牢 | |
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42 venal | |
adj.唯利是图的,贪脏枉法的 | |
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43 noted | |
adj.著名的,知名的 | |
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44 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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45 heartily | |
adv.衷心地,诚恳地,十分,很 | |
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46 scrutiny | |
n.详细检查,仔细观察 | |
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47 bellowing | |
v.发出吼叫声,咆哮(尤指因痛苦)( bellow的现在分词 );(愤怒地)说出(某事),大叫 | |
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48 justify | |
vt.证明…正当(或有理),为…辩护 | |
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49 laggard | |
n.落后者;adj.缓慢的,落后的 | |
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50 tyrant | |
n.暴君,专制的君主,残暴的人 | |
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51 wager | |
n.赌注;vt.押注,打赌 | |
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52 aspirations | |
强烈的愿望( aspiration的名词复数 ); 志向; 发送气音; 发 h 音 | |
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53 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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54 vividly | |
adv.清楚地,鲜明地,生动地 | |
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55 renounced | |
v.声明放弃( renounce的过去式和过去分词 );宣布放弃;宣布与…决裂;宣布摒弃 | |
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56 expiration | |
n.终结,期满,呼气,呼出物 | |
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57 astonishment | |
n.惊奇,惊异 | |
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58 worthy | |
adj.(of)值得的,配得上的;有价值的 | |
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59 reminder | |
n.提醒物,纪念品;暗示,提示 | |
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60 throng | |
n.人群,群众;v.拥挤,群集 | |
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61 heeding | |
v.听某人的劝告,听从( heed的现在分词 ) | |
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62 medley | |
n.混合 | |
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63 hawk | |
n.鹰,骗子;鹰派成员 | |
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64 poised | |
a.摆好姿势不动的 | |
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65 bustling | |
adj.喧闹的 | |
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66 glided | |
v.滑动( glide的过去式和过去分词 );掠过;(鸟或飞机 ) 滑翔 | |
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67 fretting | |
n. 微振磨损 adj. 烦躁的, 焦虑的 | |
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68 squint | |
v. 使变斜视眼, 斜视, 眯眼看, 偏移, 窥视; n. 斜视, 斜孔小窗; adj. 斜视的, 斜的 | |
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69 crab | |
n.螃蟹,偏航,脾气乖戾的人,酸苹果;vi.捕蟹,偏航,发牢骚;vt.使偏航,发脾气 | |
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70 stump | |
n.残株,烟蒂,讲演台;v.砍断,蹒跚而走 | |
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71 bugles | |
妙脆角,一种类似薯片但做成尖角或喇叭状的零食; 号角( bugle的名词复数 ); 喇叭; 匍匐筋骨草; (装饰女服用的)柱状玻璃(或塑料)小珠 | |
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72 sordid | |
adj.肮脏的,不干净的,卑鄙的,暗淡的 | |
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73 numb | |
adj.麻木的,失去感觉的;v.使麻木 | |
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74 loathing | |
n.厌恶,憎恨v.憎恨,厌恶( loathe的现在分词);极不喜欢 | |
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75 fretted | |
焦躁的,附有弦马的,腐蚀的 | |
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76 muffled | |
adj.(声音)被隔的;听不太清的;(衣服)裹严的;蒙住的v.压抑,捂住( muffle的过去式和过去分词 );用厚厚的衣帽包着(自己) | |
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77 behold | |
v.看,注视,看到 | |
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78 wilderness | |
n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等,荒漠 | |
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79 bog | |
n.沼泽;室...陷入泥淖 | |
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80 sullen | |
adj.愠怒的,闷闷不乐的,(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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81 ferocious | |
adj.凶猛的,残暴的,极度的,十分强烈的 | |
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82 remorse | |
n.痛恨,悔恨,自责 | |
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83 savage | |
adj.野蛮的;凶恶的,残暴的;n.未开化的人 | |
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84 repulsive | |
adj.排斥的,使人反感的 | |
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85 bastard | |
n.坏蛋,混蛋;私生子 | |
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86 badger | |
v.一再烦扰,一再要求,纠缠 | |
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87 demons | |
n.恶人( demon的名词复数 );恶魔;精力过人的人;邪念 | |
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88 hoary | |
adj.古老的;鬓发斑白的 | |
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89 squat | |
v.蹲坐,蹲下;n.蹲下;adj.矮胖的,粗矮的 | |
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90 westward | |
n.西方,西部;adj.西方的,向西的;adv.向西 | |
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91 soothed | |
v.安慰( soothe的过去式和过去分词 );抚慰;使舒服;减轻痛苦 | |
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92 mellow | |
adj.柔和的;熟透的;v.变柔和;(使)成熟 | |
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