A PARTING OF WAYS.

The next day I realised how great was the gulf¹ which lay between us. I hated concealment². After a few very unhappy weeks there came the parting of our ways. John said it was all my fault. Truly opinions differ. He told me his love was only boy's love. I don't dispute that, but still it was love, and how was I to know that it would die right away. In vain I tried to keep on as if nothing was the matter. Any hope of being able to bear my burden in silence, in such a place as a boarding-house, was not to be thought of. The rumor³ spread. I was ill for a time, and suffered a good deal. I knew all joy in life was over for me. I was subject to all kinds of comments as to the real reason why my husband left home. When I got better I knew I would have to face life's duty again. I could not bear my[Pg 96] trouble on the spot; I thought to escape from the scene where I had failed so. As my brother had supplied some of the furniture for a consideration, I got him and his wife to come into the house. I thought I would find pain more easily borne if I passed swiftly from place to place, and I advertised for a housekeeper⁴'s position. Beyond that, I had no plan just then, but I had a fixed⁵ purpose to leave Adelaide. Bitter as had been my experience, now that my husband had left me, perhaps for ever, I nerved myself to the struggle. I resented the blight⁶, which was on me while I was in Adelaide and breathing the same air as they; I had a wish to be free. Something prevented me from giving up altogether, or I might have been led into the depths, and have clouded my life for ever; I loathed⁸ the very sight of evil.

I got a reply to my advertisement. It was a request to take charge as housekeeper at the Clarence Hotel in King William-street. I did not have far to go. I had commonsense⁹ enough to think that the excitement of hotel life would be a possible relief for my troubles. Still, I used to wend my way to the shipping¹⁰ company in the hope of getting a passage anywhere. I knew I could travel well by sea, and as stewardess¹¹—if such a post had been open—I would have gone without delay. The Clarence Hotel was a busy place then. Underground there were large dining-rooms, known as "The Shades," where hundreds came every day. There were very few places for that purpose in the city then. What is now the Tivoli Theatre, was then only "White's" Rooms. The proprietor¹² of the hotel had charge of those "shades," or dining-rooms, which were for the public. I did not have any work to do there, but had only to see that it was carefully managed. I had to deal with the tradespeople and to give out the stores. I was employed there because the landlady¹³ was ill. There was no family, except a little adopted girl. There was, however, plenty to do, and existence had to be struggled for. It did seem a rush to get all that was wanted for so many. There were both men and women cooks, and men and women waitresses, with other employes about. Apart from the "Shades" downstairs, we had both public and private dining-rooms upstairs. I saw to the letting of the rooms, and also attended the people who hired the apartments there. For the most part they were either musical or theatrical¹⁴ people.

I can well remember Nellie Stewart's father engaging rooms for himself and his two daughters. After all those bygone years I saw Nellie Stewart the other day looking so young. Maggie Moore was staying there, too. She was Mrs. Williamson then. There was plenty of delight and excitement everywhere, and no restrictions¹⁵ were placed on my movements. I came in contact with and was on speaking terms with many congenial people, and was removed from the miserable¹⁶ sufferings which had made up my life just previously¹⁷. But all the amusements, to which I had a[Pg 97] free "entree," could not make up for the human fellowship which was snatched from me.

My courage would sink when I saw my husband and his friend coming along from the Post-Office in King William-street. They would be laughing and looking so gay. Then my mind would go back to the time, unspoiled by pain, which he and I had together. Surely when I married John S. O. Allen it never occurred to me that it would be a union with one who would in no way help me onward¹⁸. He devoted¹⁹ himself to his relative, but this did not lessen²⁰ the pain that such a factor should have come to another person's houses and sow discord²¹. If I had found out in time I would not have been in South Australia when they came. I was deprived of all now, when I wanted companionship most; and from his point of view everything I did was simply detestable. I could do nothing to please him. He would tell me so with a sneer²². My future was all a blank. I learned from a conversation between my master and mistress that they would like to sell over the goodwill²³ of the Clarence Hotel. There was again the inevitable²⁴. I did not mind much, because I was brought up in the midst of real privations, such as affected²⁵ myself only. But I could not ignore the scandal or forget that the world might imagine that I had been very busy weaving nets, and that I had caught myself in them, as was sometimes told me. It was no easy matter to go out and in, and to hear and see so much humiliation²⁶. I remained at the Clarence till my employer sold the business.

I was sorry, for it was peopled with kindly²⁷ human beings, whom I knew well and could mix with, even to the maids. When I went there first, as they told me afterwards, they had made up their minds not to like me. As I was the first housekeeper to take charge over them they looked on my coming with annoyance²⁸, but, anyhow, I felt confident that I would do what was right for all, and I had, in various ways, seen to their comfort, both in regard to their meals and their bedrooms. I was grateful to those waiting men and maids when I saw how pleased they were to help me in any emergency. The lady, when well, was very fond of going out. I could not object to that, although I had no time for much outing, but I had to go. I went everywhere with her. They had a private house at Norwood. A man and wife lived there as caretakers, and all the hotel washing was done there. I was always glad to go there, the garden being a consideration. We drove about, too, wherever the lady wished. I never before had such times. What with the theatre, and one thing and another no one would think that I was a discarded wife. I had tried hard not to be crushed, and faced my loss, only there was the discontent left, and, so far, all effort to forget was of no use at all.

At last the valuation of the hotel was set about and the people who came in did not require a housekeeper. My employers went[Pg 98] to their house at Norwood. I knew it would take all my courage to endure what was before me, with no scrap²⁹ of human kindness to help me. My only desire was to find some hiding-place, where I would not hear the ceaseless "Poor Mrs. Allen" spoken, as I heard it that day. Forlorn in spirit, I went to Port Adelaide. A lady and gentleman whom I knew had taken the management of a new club there. I thought if I could get a place till I could find a ship that would take me away, I would be glad to do anything till then. Life seemed no worse than at other times. I did not sit down and pity myself. It was others with their pity that I did not want. My early experience gave me the possibility of bearing real pressure, and I knew what it was to be homeless. I am telling my story in my own way.

I went with the people I mentioned. They were kindness itself. They were only newly married and did not understand housekeeping. I worked henceforward with but one object in view, though it was long before I realised it. At last the opportunity came to go as stewardess on a sailing vessel³⁰. I would have liked better if I could have had the chance to go on a steamboat. The ship I went in was the South Australian and she was under the command of Captain Bruce.

I remembered who I was, and what I was, and why I was on board that ship. It was a conundrum³¹. I was not on pleasure bent³² and did not know where I was going. The ship looked as if bound on an excursion, Captain Bruce being a favorite with those who went sea voyages. He had on board his wife and baby daughter, and a maid. The doctor was also a married man and was accompanied by his wife, a little baby, and a maid also. Such a number of people whom I knew were on board. All on one side of the "saloon" was occupied by Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Goode and their family. Amongst the other pleasing people on board were the Rev⁷. Charles Clark. He went as far as South Africa. Mr. R. S. Smythe was a traveller, too. It was January 8 when they started and a fine morning, but when a strong wind and a rough sea caught the sails I had plenty to do.

1 gulf   

n.海湾；深渊，鸿沟；分歧，隔阂

参考例句：

• The gulf between the two leaders cannot be bridged.两位领导人之间的鸿沟难以跨越。
• There is a gulf between the two cities.这两座城市间有个海湾。

2 concealment   

n.隐藏, 掩盖，隐瞒

参考例句：

• the concealment of crime 对罪行的隐瞒
• Stay in concealment until the danger has passed. 把自己藏起来，待危险过去后再出来。

3 rumor   

n.谣言，谣传，传说

参考例句：

• The rumor has been traced back to a bad man.那谣言经追查是个坏人造的。
• The rumor has taken air.谣言流传开了。

4 housekeeper   

n.管理家务的主妇，女管家

参考例句：

• A spotless stove told us that his mother is a diligent housekeeper.炉子清洁无瑕就表明他母亲是个勤劳的主妇。
• She is an economical housekeeper and feeds her family cheaply.她节约持家，一家人吃得很省。

5 fixed   

adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的

参考例句：

• Have you two fixed on a date for the wedding yet?你们俩选定婚期了吗？
• Once the aim is fixed,we should not change it arbitrarily.目标一旦确定，我们就不应该随意改变。

6 blight   

n.枯萎病；造成破坏的因素；vt.破坏，摧残

参考例句：

• The apple crop was wiped out by blight.枯萎病使苹果全无收成。
• There is a blight on all his efforts.他的一切努力都遭到挫折。

7 rev   

v.发动机旋转，加快速度

参考例句：

• It's his job to rev up the audience before the show starts.他要负责在表演开始前鼓动观众的热情。
• Don't rev the engine so hard.别让发动机转得太快。

8 loathed   

v.憎恨，厌恶( loathe的过去式和过去分词 )；极不喜欢

参考例句：

• Baker loathed going to this red-haired young pup for supplies. 面包师傅不喜欢去这个红头发的自负的傻小子那里拿原料。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Therefore, above all things else, he loathed his miserable self! 因此，他厌恶不幸的自我尤胜其它！ 来自英汉文学 - 红字

9 commonsense   

adj.有常识的；明白事理的；注重实际的

参考例句：

• It is commonsense to carry an umbrella in this weather.这种天气带把伞是很自然的。
• These results are no more than a vindication of commonsense analysis.这些结果只不过是按常理分析得出的事实。

10 shipping   

n.船运（发货，运输，乘船）

参考例句：

• We struck a bargain with an American shipping firm.我们和一家美国船运公司谈成了一笔生意。
• There's a shipping charge of ￡5 added to the price.价格之外另加五英镑运输费。

11 stewardess   

n.空中小姐，女乘务员

参考例句：

• Please show your ticket to the stewardess when you board the plane.登机时请向空中小姐出示机票。
• The stewardess hurried the passengers onto the plane.空中小姐催乘客赶快登机。

12 proprietor   

n.所有人；业主；经营者

参考例句：

• The proprietor was an old acquaintance of his.业主是他的一位旧相识。
• The proprietor of the corner grocery was a strange thing in my life.拐角杂货店店主是我生活中的一个怪物。

13 landlady   

n.女房东，女地主

参考例句：

• I heard my landlady creeping stealthily up to my door.我听到我的女房东偷偷地来到我的门前。
• The landlady came over to serve me.女店主过来接待我。

14 theatrical   

adj.剧场的，演戏的；做戏似的，做作的

参考例句：

• The final scene was dismayingly lacking in theatrical effect.最后一场缺乏戏剧效果，叫人失望。
• She always makes some theatrical gesture.她老在做些夸张的手势。

15 restrictions   

约束( restriction的名词复数 )； 管制； 制约因素； 带限制性的条件（或规则）

参考例句：

• I found the restrictions irksome. 我对那些限制感到很烦。
• a snaggle of restrictions 杂乱无章的种种限制

16 miserable   

adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的

参考例句：

• It was miserable of you to make fun of him.你取笑他，这是可耻的。
• Her past life was miserable.她过去的生活很苦。

17 previously   

adv.以前，先前（地）

参考例句：

• The bicycle tyre blew out at a previously damaged point.自行车胎在以前损坏过的地方又爆开了。
• Let me digress for a moment and explain what had happened previously.让我岔开一会儿，解释原先发生了什么。

18 onward   

adj.向前的，前进的；adv.向前，前进，在先

参考例句：

• The Yellow River surges onward like ten thousand horses galloping.黄河以万马奔腾之势滚滚向前。
• He followed in the steps of forerunners and marched onward.他跟随着先辈的足迹前进。

19 devoted   

adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的

参考例句：

• He devoted his life to the educational cause of the motherland.他为祖国的教育事业贡献了一生。
• We devoted a lengthy and full discussion to this topic.我们对这个题目进行了长时间的充分讨论。

20 lessen   

vt.减少，减轻；缩小

参考例句：

• Regular exercise can help to lessen the pain.经常运动有助于减轻痛感。
• They've made great effort to lessen the noise of planes.他们尽力减小飞机的噪音。

21 discord   

n.不和，意见不合，争论，（音乐）不和谐

参考例句：

• These two answers are in discord.这两个答案不一样。
• The discord of his music was hard on the ear.他演奏的不和谐音很刺耳。

22 sneer   

v.轻蔑；嘲笑；n.嘲笑，讥讽的言语

参考例句：

• He said with a sneer.他的话中带有嘲笑之意。
• You may sneer,but a lot of people like this kind of music.你可以嗤之以鼻，但很多人喜欢这种音乐。

23 goodwill   

n.善意，亲善，信誉，声誉

参考例句：

• His heart is full of goodwill to all men.他心里对所有人都充满着爱心。
• We paid ￡10,000 for the shop,and ￡2000 for its goodwill.我们用一万英镑买下了这家商店，两千英镑买下了它的信誉。

24 inevitable   

adj.不可避免的，必然发生的

参考例句：

• Mary was wearing her inevitable large hat.玛丽戴着她总是戴的那顶大帽子。
• The defeat had inevitable consequences for British policy.战败对英国政策不可避免地产生了影响。

25 affected   

adj.不自然的，假装的

参考例句：

• She showed an affected interest in our subject.她假装对我们的课题感到兴趣。
• His manners are affected.他的态度不自然。

26 humiliation   

n.羞辱

参考例句：

• He suffered the humiliation of being forced to ask for his cards.他蒙受了被迫要求辞职的羞辱。
• He will wish to revenge his humiliation in last Season's Final.他会为在上个季度的决赛中所受的耻辱而报复的。

27 kindly   

adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地

参考例句：

• Her neighbours spoke of her as kindly and hospitable.她的邻居都说她和蔼可亲、热情好客。
• A shadow passed over the kindly face of the old woman.一道阴影掠过老太太慈祥的面孔。

28 annoyance   

n.恼怒，生气，烦恼

参考例句：

• Why do you always take your annoyance out on me?为什么你不高兴时总是对我出气？
• I felt annoyance at being teased.我恼恨别人取笑我。

29 scrap   

n.碎片；废料；v.废弃，报废

参考例句：

• A man comes round regularly collecting scrap.有个男人定时来收废品。
• Sell that car for scrap.把那辆汽车当残品卖了吧。

30 vessel   

n.船舶；容器，器皿；管，导管，血管

参考例句：

• The vessel is fully loaded with cargo for Shanghai.这艘船满载货物驶往上海。
• You should put the water into a vessel.你应该把水装入容器中。

31 conundrum   

n.谜语；难题

参考例句：

• Let me give you some history about a conundrum.让我给你们一些关于谜题的历史。
• Scientists had focused on two explanations to solve this conundrum.科学家已锁定两种解释来解开这个难题。

32 bent   

n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的

参考例句：

• He was fully bent upon the project.他一心扑在这项计划上。
• We bent over backward to help them.我们尽了最大努力帮助他们。