ALICE IN DOWNING STREET

“Have you ever seen an Ineptitude¹?” asked the Cheshire Cat suddenly; the Cat was nothing if not abrupt².
 
“CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU ARE DOING HERE?” ALICE INQUIRED POLITELY.

“Not in real life,” said Alice. “Have you any about here?{4}”

“A few,” answered the Cat comprehensively. “Over there, for instance,” it added, contracting its pupils to the requisite³ focus, “is the most perfect specimen⁴ we have.”

Alice followed the direction of its glance and noticed for the first time a figure sitting in a very uncomfortable attitude on nothing in particular. Alice had no time to wonder how it managed to do it, she was busy taking in the appearance of the creature, which was something like a badly-written note of interrogation and something like a guillemot, and seemed to have been trying to preen⁵ its rather untidy plumage with whitewash⁶. “What a dreadful mess it’s in!” she remarked, after gazing at it for a few moments in silence. “What is it, and why is it here?”

“It hasn’t any meaning,” said the Cat, “it simply is.”

“Can it talk?” asked Alice eagerly.

“It has never done anything else,” chuckled⁷ the Cat.

“Can you tell me what you are doing here?” Alice inquired politely. The Ineptitude shook its head with a deprecatory motion and commenced to drawl, “I haven’t an idea.{5}”

“It never has, you know,” interrupted the Cheshire Cat rudely, “but in its leisure moments” (Alice thought it must have a good many of them) “when it isn’t playing with a gutta-percha ball it unravels⁸ the groundwork of what people believe—or don’t believe, I forget which.”
 
THE QUEEN.

with apologies to Sir John Tenniel

“It really doesn’t matter which,” said the Ineptitude, with languid interest.{6}

“Of course it doesn’t,” the Cat went on cheerfully, “because the unravelling⁹ got so tangled¹⁰ that no one could follow it. Its theory is,” he continued, seeing that Alice was waiting for more, “that you mustn’t interfere¹¹ with the Inevitable¹². Slide and let slide, you know.”

“But what do you keep it here for?” asked Alice.

“Oh, somehow you can’t help it; it’s so perfectly¹³ harmless and amiable¹⁴ and says the nastiest things in the nicest manner, and the King just couldn’t do without it. The King is only made of pasteboard, you know, with sharp edges; and the Queen”—here the Cat sank its voice to a whisper—“the Queen comes from another pack, made of Brummagem ware¹⁵, without polish, but absolutely indestructible; always pushing, you know; but you can’t push an Ineptitude. Might as well try to hustle¹⁶ a glacier¹⁷.”

“That’s why you keep so many of them about,” said Alice.

“Of course. But its temper is not what it used to be. Lots of things have happened to worry it.”

“What sort of things?”

“Oh, people have been dying off in round numbers, in the most ostentatious manner, and{7} the Ineptitude dislikes fuss—but hush¹⁸, here’s the King coming.”

His Majesty¹⁹ was looking doleful and grumpy, Alice thought, as though he had been disturbed in an afternoon nap. “Who is this, and what is that Cat doing here?” he asked, glancing gloomily at Alice and her companion.
 
THE KING WAS FAST ASLEEP.

“I really must ask you to give me notice of these questions,” said the Ineptitude, with a yawn.

“There’s a dragon loose somewhere in the garden,” the King went on peevishly²⁰, “and I am{8} expected to help in getting it under control. Do I look as if I could control dragons?”

Alice thought he certainly did not.

“What do you propose doing?” drawled the Ineptitude.

“That’s just it,” said the King. “I say that whatever is done must be done cautiously and deliberately²¹; the Treasurer²² says that whatever is done must be done cheaply—I am afraid the Treasurer is the weakest member of the pack,” he added anxiously.

“Only made of Bristol board, you know,” explained the Cat aside to Alice.

“What does the Queen say about it?” asked the Ineptitude.

“The Queen says that if something is not done in less than no time there’ll be a Dissolution.”

Both looked very grave at this, and nothing was said for some minutes. The King was the first to break the silence. “What are you doing with that whitewash?” he demanded. “The Queen said everything was to be painted khaki.”

“I know,” said the creature pathetically, “but I had run out of khaki; the Unforeseen again, you know; and things needed whitewash so badly.{9}”

The Cat had been slowly vanishing during the last few minutes, till nothing remained of it but an eye. At the last remark it gave a wink²³ at Alice and completed its eclipse.

When Alice turned round she found that both the King and the Ineptitude were fast asleep.

“It’s no good remaining here,” she thought, and as she did not want to meet either the Queen or the dragon, she turned to make her way out of the street.

“At any rate,” she said to herself, “I know what an Ineptitude is like.{11}{10}”

1 ineptitude   

n.不适当；愚笨，愚昧的言行

参考例句：

• History testifies to the ineptitude of coalitions in waging war.历史昭示我们，多数国家联合作战，其进行甚为困难。
• They joked about his ineptitude.他们取笑他的笨拙。

2 abrupt   

adj.突然的，意外的；唐突的，鲁莽的

参考例句：

• The river takes an abrupt bend to the west.这河突然向西转弯。
• His abrupt reply hurt our feelings.他粗鲁的回答伤了我们的感情。

3 requisite   

adj.需要的，必不可少的；n.必需品

参考例句：

• He hasn't got the requisite qualifications for the job.他不具备这工作所需的资格。
• Food and air are requisite for life.食物和空气是生命的必需品。

4 specimen   

n.样本，标本

参考例句：

• You'll need tweezers to hold up the specimen.你要用镊子来夹这标本。
• This specimen is richly variegated in colour.这件标本上有很多颜色。

5 preen   

v.（人）打扮修饰

参考例句：

• 50% of men under 35 spend at least 20 minutes preening themselves every morning in the bathroom.50%的35岁以下男性每天早上至少花20分钟在盥洗室精心打扮。
• Bill preened his beard.比尔精心修剪了他的胡须。

6 whitewash   

v.粉刷，掩饰；n.石灰水，粉刷，掩饰

参考例句：

• They tried hard to whitewash themselves.他们力图粉饰自己。
• What he said was a load of whitewash.他所说的是一大堆粉饰之词。

7 chuckled   

轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• She chuckled at the memory. 想起这件事她就暗自发笑。
• She chuckled softly to herself as she remembered his astonished look. 想起他那惊讶的表情，她就轻轻地暗自发笑。

8 unravels   

解开，拆散，散开( unravel的第三人称单数 )； 阐明； 澄清； 弄清楚

参考例句：

• Khrushchev's Cold War unravels the tangled contradictions in his leadership of the Communist Party. 赫鲁晓夫的冷战》这本书揭示出赫鲁晓夫作为共产党的领袖，面临着一些棘手的问题。

9 unravelling   

解开，拆散，散开( unravel的现在分词 )； 阐明； 澄清； 弄清楚

参考例句：

• Nail head clamp the unravelling of nail exteriorize broken nails and clean. 钉头卡钉，拆开钉头取出碎钉并清洁。
• The ends of ropes are in good condition and secured without unravelling. 缆绳端部状况良好及牢固，并无松散脱线。

10 tangled   

adj. 纠缠的，紊乱的 动词tangle的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• Your hair's so tangled that I can't comb it. 你的头发太乱了，我梳不动。
• A movement caught his eye in the tangled undergrowth. 乱灌木丛里的晃动引起了他的注意。

11 interfere   

v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰

参考例句：

• If we interfere, it may do more harm than good.如果我们干预的话，可能弊多利少。
• When others interfere in the affair,it always makes troubles. 别人一卷入这一事件，棘手的事情就来了。

12 inevitable   

adj.不可避免的，必然发生的

参考例句：

• Mary was wearing her inevitable large hat.玛丽戴着她总是戴的那顶大帽子。
• The defeat had inevitable consequences for British policy.战败对英国政策不可避免地产生了影响。

13 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

14 amiable   

adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的

参考例句：

• She was a very kind and amiable old woman.她是个善良和气的老太太。
• We have a very amiable companionship.我们之间存在一种友好的关系。

15 ware   

n.(常用复数)商品，货物

参考例句：

• The shop sells a great variety of porcelain ware.这家店铺出售品种繁多的瓷器。
• Good ware will never want a chapman.好货不须叫卖。

16 hustle   

v.推搡；竭力兜售或获取；催促；n.奔忙(碌)

参考例句：

• It seems that he enjoys the hustle and bustle of life in the big city.看起来他似乎很喜欢大城市的热闹繁忙的生活。
• I had to hustle through the crowded street.我不得不挤过拥挤的街道。

17 glacier   

n.冰川，冰河

参考例句：

• The glacier calved a large iceberg.冰河崩解而形成一个大冰山。
• The upper surface of glacier is riven by crevasses.冰川的上表面已裂成冰隙。

18 hush   

int.嘘，别出声；n.沉默，静寂；v.使安静

参考例句：

• A hush fell over the onlookers.旁观者们突然静了下来。
• Do hush up the scandal!不要把这丑事声张出去！

19 majesty   

n.雄伟，壮丽，庄严，威严；最高权威，王权

参考例句：

• The king had unspeakable majesty.国王有无法形容的威严。
• Your Majesty must make up your mind quickly!尊贵的陛下，您必须赶快做出决定！

20 peevishly   

adv．暴躁地

参考例句：

• Paul looked through his green glasses peevishly when the other speaker brought down the house with applause. 当另一个演说者赢得了满座喝彩声时，保罗心里又嫉妒又气恼。
• "I've been sick, I told you," he said, peevishly, almost resenting her excessive pity. “我生了一场病，我告诉过你了，"他没好气地说，对她的过分怜悯几乎产生了怨恨。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹

21 deliberately   

adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地

参考例句：

• The girl gave the show away deliberately.女孩故意泄露秘密。
• They deliberately shifted off the argument.他们故意回避这个论点。

22 treasurer   

n.司库，财务主管

参考例句：

• Mr. Smith was succeeded by Mrs.Jones as treasurer.琼斯夫人继史密斯先生任会计。
• The treasurer was arrested for trying to manipulate the company's financial records.财务主管由于试图窜改公司财政帐目而被拘留。

23 wink   

n.眨眼，使眼色，瞬间；v.眨眼，使眼色，闪烁

参考例句：

• He tipped me the wink not to buy at that price.他眨眼暗示我按那个价格就不要买。
• The satellite disappeared in a wink.瞬息之间，那颗卫星就消失了。