Ben Renton had been a great deal in society, and had seen beautiful women in his day; and he knew quantities of pretty girls, and had fancied himself a{69} little in love with some of them also in his time. But something, perhaps, in the surrounding made this woman different from anything he had ever seen. She was very tall, almost as tall as himself. She was pale, with none of that adventitious12 charm of colour which often stands in the place of beauty. Her hair was dark, without any gleams in it. The only colour about her was in her eyes, which were blue, like a winter sky,—blue of the sweetest and purest tone, shining out under her dark hair from her pale, beautiful face, from the shadow and the darkness, like a bit of heaven itself. Ben sat down and looked at her, struck dumb, in a kind of stupor13. What had he to do with this wonderfully beautiful, silent creature? Who was she? How came she here? How did it come about that he sat by her, having no right to such an acquaintance, struck dumb, like a man in a dream? He looked on stupidly, and saw the other lady sink down and cover her face with her hands as Hillyard delivered his melancholy15 commission. Of course it was Hillyard’s duty to do so, and even to remain with them while the daughter rose noiselessly and went to her mother, bending over her, turning her beautiful pale face appealingly to the strangers, with the blue eyes full of tears. With all this strange scene his companion had a certain connexion by right of his errand; but why was Ben Renton there, or what could it ever be to him?{70}
And yet she came back to the seat by the window, and Ben, looking on, saw the tears fall upon her white hands and white work, and met in his turn the same wistful look. ‘Were you there too?’ she said with a little sob16. He was ashamed of himself to say no; but perhaps because her heart was full of her dead brother she gave no sign that she thought his presence was intrusive17. She put her handkerchief to her eyes, and then she looked into his face again. ‘It is very, very hard for poor mamma,’ she said, in the softest, lowly-whispering voice. ‘Her only son! She was so proud of him. She always hoped he would do so well; and papa died so long ago, and we had no one else to look to. It is so hard upon mamma!’
‘She has you,’ said Ben, wildly, feeling that some reply was looked for, and not knowing what he said.
‘Ah! yes; but I am only a girl. I can love her, but what more can I do?’ said this celestial18 creature with piteous looks. Ben’s brain went round and round. He was in some enchanted19 place, some magician’s castle. What had he to do there, listening to these soft plaints, receiving those looks which would have melted a heart of stone? In his amaze he turned half round to his friend, who alone gave him any title to be present, and his appeal was not in vain.
‘I came home only this morning,’ said Hillyard, ‘and, of course, the first thing I thought of was to discharge my sad commission. My friend, Mr. Ren{71}ton, came with me, as he knows better how things go on here than I do. If we could be of any use——’
Ben had got up and bowed in his embarrassment. He was overcome, he thought, with pity, certainly with another and stronger sentiment. ‘If there is anything I can do—?’ he said eagerly. As he spoke20 the mother raised her head and shot him through and through with a sudden glance of her eyes,—eyes which must once have been soft like her daughter’s, but which had grown keen, clear, and cold, instead of soft—with a hungry look in them. But how can you criticise21 a woman in such circumstances? They might be puckered22 up with grief; it might be the anguish23 of Rachel’s weeping that looked through them. She said, ‘It is very kind,’ looking at them both, contrasting as it were the two together; and then with a certain abruptness24, ‘What was it you were saying to me about some Rentons, Millicent?’ she asked.
‘You know, mamma,’ said the daughter, ‘Thornycroft, where I was at school, was close to the Manor25, and Mary Westbury was always talking of her cousins. But perhaps this gentleman——’
‘Yes; I am one of Mary Westbury’s cousins,’ said Ben, with a throb26 of delight; and then he paused, thinking what else he could say to ingratiate himself. ‘I am the eldest27;—Ben,’ he added, with heightened colour;—and mother and daughter both looked at him with an interest which they did not attempt to disguise.{72}
‘I have heard so often of Ben,’ said Miss Tracy, with a soft, little laugh. The sound of his own name so softly uttered completed the young man’s bewilderment. He forgot how soon that laugh had followed on the tears, and how entirely28 the mother and daughter had both thrown themselves into the new subject. As for Hillyard, he sat between the two with a puzzled expression on his face. Nobody took any notice of him after the telling of his story. His friend who had the cachet of the latest civilisation29 on him, who was a Renton of Renton, the eldest son, was a very different person from an adventurer out of the bush. Mrs. Tracy herself came forward from the little back drawing-room where she had been sitting, and took a chair near the new object of interest. She was a handsome woman still for her age, and showed traces of having been like her daughter. She had the same clear, fine features; the same dark hair, still unchanged in colour; the same height and drooping30 grace of form. But her eyes, instead of being soft and dewy, were hard and keen; her lips were thin, and the muscles all tightened31 about them. Her hands were thin and long, and looked as if they could grasp and hold fast. ‘The daughter will grow like the mother, and I’d trust neither of them,’ Hillyard said to himself; but there might be a certain spite in it, for they showed no interest in him.
‘It is very kind of you to come,’ said the widow, leaving it undecided whom she was addressing, but{73} looking at Ben. ‘Though it is three months since I first heard of my dear boy’s death, this visit brings it all back. He was my only son; and oh! what hopes are buried with him, Mr. Renton! I thought that it was he that would have restored us to our natural place in the world. My Millicent was not born to live in a back street opposite livery stables. I expected everything from her brother. Man proposes, but God disposes. I cannot tell you what heaps of money I spent on him getting him ready for that examination; and yet it all came to nothing:—and now he is gone!’
‘Dear mamma, we must not strive against Providence32,’ said Millicent, putting her handkerchief lightly to her eyes.
‘No, my dear,’ said her mother; ‘but if it was to be, I might have been spared all that waste of money,—when we are so ill able to afford it. Providence knows best, to be sure; but still, when it was to be, it might have been so arranged that I should have saved that. You will think it strange of me to say so; but my thought by night and by day is, what will my child do when I die?’
‘Dear mamma, don’t say any more,’ said Millicent again. ‘I never grudged33 anything that was for poor Fitzgerald’s advantage; and I am sure, neither did you.’
‘Not if it had been for his advantage,’ said Mrs. Tracy, gloomily; ‘but you know how he broke down{74} in his examination, poor fellow. I don’t want to blame Providence,—but still I might have been spared that.’
‘Perhaps, Ben, we had better go,’ said Hillyard. ‘We are only intruding34 upon painful recollections. He was heartbroken, poor fellow. He never could forget what you had spent upon him, and that he made so little return. Ben, I think we should go.’
‘No; he never made any return,’ said Mrs. Tracy. ‘When one spends so much on one child without a return, one feels that one has been unjust to the rest. We are not very lively people; but I hope you will not hurry away. It was so very good of you to come. Millicent, ring for some tea. I shall be very glad to see both of you if you like to come to us sometimes of an evening. It is a very dull time of year to be in town. My poor boy has made it impossible for me to take Millicent to the sea this year; and if you are going to be in town, Mr. Renton, as you and she are almost old friends, I shall be very glad to see you; and you too, Mr. Hillyard,’ she added, turning half round to him. Hillyard muttered ‘By Jove!’ to himself, under his breath. But as for Ben, so suddenly and enthusiastically received into the bosom35 of the family, his eyes brightened, and his face crimsoned36 over with pleasure.
‘I shall be in town all the rest of the year,’ he said; ‘indeed, I am looking for rooms in this neigh{75}bourhood. I have something to do,—that is,—I shall want to be near Manchester Square. I shall be too glad, if you will let me, to come now and then. I must write to Mary and tell her what her relationship has gained me,’ said Ben, with a glow of satisfaction; while Hillyard looked on sardonic37, probably because he had been asked, ‘too,’ as Ben’s appendage38, which was a curious reversal of affairs.
‘How is dear Mary?’ said Miss Tracy; ‘and where is she just now? I dare say going on a round of nice visits,’ she added, with a soft sigh; ‘her circumstances are so different from ours.’
‘She was with my mother when I left home,’ said Ben, his face clouding over. ‘She will not have many visits this year, poor girl. My mother is very fond of her, which is a great comfort to us all just now.’
Millicent Tracy looked at him with her blue eyes, which seemed ready to overflow39 with soft tears; and Ben, who had the calm consciousness, common to great people, that everybody must ‘know what had happened,’ felt her sympathy go to his heart. But as it chanced she had not the least idea what had happened. The ladies had not had their ‘Times’ the day on which Mr. Renton’s death was announced, or else they had been interrupted by visitors, or some accident had happened to the supplement; but, anyhow, they were in ignorance of that event. It was sufficiently40 clear, however, that something had come upon the{76} Renton family to call for sympathy, and sympathy accordingly shone sweetly out of Millicent’s eyes. As for Mrs. Tracy, her attention was turned to more practical matters.
‘The ground-floor here is to let,’ she said. ‘I can’t suppose it would be good enough for you, Mr. Renton; but still, if you had any particular reason for being in this neighbourhood,—the people of the house are honest sort of people. There is a parlour and a bedroom, quite quiet and respectable. And if we could be of any use——’
‘A thousand thanks,’ said Ben. He was very reluctant to leave the paradise on which he had thus suddenly stumbled, but Hillyard, the neglected one, had got up and stood waiting for him. ‘I shall look at them as I go down-stairs.’
And then Millicent gave him her soft hand. ‘I have known Mary’s cousin for years,’ she said, smiling at him, with a little blush and half apology. It was as if an angel had apologised for entering a mortal household unawares. Ben went down the narrow staircase dazed and giddy, treading, not on the poor worn carpets, but on some celestial path of flowers. He looked at the low, melancholy room below clothed in black haircloth, and veiled with curtains of darkling red, and thought it a bower41 of bliss42. Something, however, restrained him from securing this paradise while Hillyard was still with him. He whispered to the eager landlady43 that he would return and settle{77} with her, and went out into the street a different being. It looked a different street, transfigured somehow. The old white horse and the rusty44 carriage, and the man in white cotton gloves, with his pretence45 at livery, stood before a house, a little farther down; and it seemed to Ben an equipage for the gods. Everything was changed. The only thing that troubled him was that Hillyard took his arm once more, as if supposing he meant to be dragged back to that wretched club.
‘It is easy to see I am not a swell47 like you,’ said Hillyard. ‘I never pretended I was; but I had no idea it was written on my face so plainly till I read it in that old woman’s eyes.’
‘She is not exactly an old woman,’ said Ben, making an effort to get free of his companion’s arm.
‘Oh dear, no; not at all!’ said Hillyard. ‘But if the daughter is,—say five-and-twenty——’
‘I should say eighteen,’ said Ben.
‘Oh, by Jove! that’s going too fast,’ cried his companion; ‘though I can’t wonder, considering the dead set they made at you. That girl is stunning48, Ben; but she thinks you’re the heir of all your father’s property, and have the Manor at your command. Mind what you’re after if you go there again. The old woman is as crafty49 as an old fox, and as for the young one——’
‘Look here, Hillyard,’ said Ben, hotly. ‘I am{78} introduced to this family not by you, but by my cousin Mary. If it had been you, of course you might say what you like of your own friends; but I consider they are Mary Westbury’s friends, and I can’t have you speak of them in such a tone,—for my cousin’s sake.’
‘Ah! I see,’ said Hillyard, ironically. ‘But poor Tracy was my friend, not Miss Westbury’s, and I suppose I may talk of him if I like. It was the mother that drove him to it, Ben. Don’t you think it’s my line to speak ill of women. I’ve a dear little mother myself, thank God; and a little sister as sweet as a daisy,—and about as poor,’ the adventurer added, with a sigh; ‘but I hate that kind of woman. You may growl50 if you please. I do. After he broke down in his examination she never gave him a moment’s peace. She kept writing to him for money, and upbraiding51 him for having none to send her, when the poor wretch46 could not earn bread for himself. That much I know;—and you heard how she spoke of him. If you have anything to do with these two women you will come to grief.’
‘If every woman who has a good-for-nothing son or brother was to be judged as harshly——’ said Ben, making an effort to keep his temper. Hillyard turned round upon him with a hoarse52 exclamation53 of anger.
‘He was not a good-for-nothing, by——!’ he cried. ‘You know nothing about him. You call a{79} man names in his grave, poor fellow, because a girl has got a pair of pretty blue eyes.’
‘It appears to me that our road is no longer the same,’ said Ben, with the superiority of temper and good manners. ‘I am going to my rooms, and you, I suppose, are going back to the club. I daresay we shall meet there shortly, as we are the only men in town. Good morning, just now.’
And thus they parted almost as suddenly as they met. Ben went into the Park, and composed himself with a long walk, at first with a pretence of making his way to his rooms, as he had said. He went across almost to the gate, and then he turned and made a circuit back again. He wanted cheap lodgings, that was evident,—and then!—The truth was that his mind was swept and garnished54, emptied of all the traditions, and occupations, and hopes of his previous life. All had ended for him as by a sudden deluge55, and the chambers56 stood open for the first inhabitant that had force enough to enter. Was it love that had burst in like an armed man? A certain sweet agitation57 took possession of his whole being. His agitation had been bitter enough in the morning, when he took the account of all those dead household gods of his, from which no comfort came; or rather it had been a kind of bitter calm,—death after a fashion. Now life had rushed back and tingled58 in all his veins59. The world was no more a desert, but full of unknown beauty and wonder. Since his first step out of the{80} familiar ways had taught him so much, what might not his further progress reveal? Might it not be, after all, that his deliverance from the conventional round was the opening of a new, and fresh, and glorious existence? Would not he be as free in Guildford Street, Manchester Square, as in the backwoods,—as undisturbed by impertinent observation? What were the buhl cabinets and the old Dresden in comparison with horsehair, and mahogany, and Millicent Tracy’s blue eyes up-stairs? He tried to consider the matter calmly without reference to those eyes, and he thought he succeeded in doing so. He reminded himself with elaborate, almost judicial60, calm that he had but two hundred pounds a-year; that he could not afford to live at the Albany any longer; that cheap lodgings were necessary to him, not altogether out of reach of the world, but beyond the inspection61 of curious acquaintances. Under these circumstances the adaptation to all his wants of the ground-floor at No. 10 was almost miraculous62. It was Providential. Ben had not been in the habit of using that word as some people do; but yet he felt that in the present remarkable63 circumstances the use of it was justifiable64. Something beyond ordinary chance must have guided him in his ignorance to exactly the place he wanted. And the machinery65 employed to bring about this single result had been so elaborate and complicated. First, a suicide far off in Australia; second, the return of an adventurer{81} who had been sent there expressly to make Fitzgerald Tracy’s acquaintance, and convey his dying message;—a friendship which had been brought about by such means surely must count for something in a man’s life.
And so by degrees Ben found himself once more approaching the street. He knocked at the door with a curious thrill and tremor66. What if he should see her again! What if she might be passing up and down after some of her celestial concerns! He was admitted by a dismal67 maid-of-all-work, and shown in this time to the rooms which were the object of his ambition. They were very dingy little rooms. In their original and normal state they made a double room with folding-doors; but as arranged for a lodger68, the folding-doors had been closed and barricaded69, the front half made into a sitting-room70, and the back into a bed-room. The windows were closed, and in the sultry September evening the four mean walls seemed to close round the inmate71 and stifle72 him. Such a thought had half stolen across his mind when a sudden movement above thrilled him through and through. It seemed to vibrate through the house and through him. No need to ask any further question—undoubtedly it must have been her step; and immediately the musty air grew sweet as summer to foolish Ben.
The result was that he took the wretched little rooms for thirty shillings a-week, conveying to his{82} future landlady as he did so the meanest possible opinion of his intellectual powers. ‘Some fool,’ she replied to her husband, ‘as never asked no questions.’ He thought them very cheap, poor fellow; he thought them highly economical, retired73, respectable, and exactly what he wanted. And he was rewarded, and more than rewarded, for his promptitude. Just as he had settled with the landlady a little creak on the stairs and rustling74 of ladies’ dresses set all his pulses beating. And when he turned sharply round there were the mother and daughter in their crape bonnets75 equipped for their evening walk. They were immensely surprised at the sight of Ben; more, perhaps, than could have been fully14 accounted for in conjunction with the fact that Miss Tracy had been seated, all this time, at the window, seeing who came and went.
‘Is it possible that Mr. Renton has come to look at the rooms?’ the innocent Millicent said to her mother, stopping short in the narrow little lobby.
‘I have not only come to look at them, but I have taken them,’ Ben said, coming forward. ‘They suit me exactly.’ And there was a charming little flutter of pleasure and surprise.
‘I never thought you could be in earnest,’ Mrs. Tracy said; ‘the rooms are well enough, but after what you have been accustomed to,—I was just saying to Millicent that of course it was impossible. But now I shall be quite comfortable in my mind,{83} knowing you are there. Living in lodgings is very trying for ladies,’ continued the widow, lowering her voice confidentially76 as she went in with Ben to give a critical look round the sitting-room. ‘You cannot think how anxious I have been to have some one I know here,—on Millicent’s account, Mr. Renton. The last lodger used positively77 to lie in wait for my innocent child at the door.’
‘Confounded impudence78!’ said Ben. ‘I hope the fellow was kicked out.’
‘Ah, we had no such champions as you,’ said Mrs. Tracy, with a dubious79 smile. ‘It was after my poor boy went away on that ill-fated voyage, so much against my will, Mr. Renton.—Yes, he has actually taken them, Millicent,’ she went on, speaking louder as she turned round. ‘We were just going out for our little walk. It is cool now, and there are not so many people about. We neither of us feel equal to fashionable promenades80, Mr. Renton. We take our little walk for health’s sake in the cool of the evening. It is all the amusement my poor child has.’
‘Don’t say so, mamma dear,’ said Millicent. ‘I am quite happy. And oh, Mr. Renton, couldn’t you have dear Mary up for a day or two to see you? Cousins may visit, may not they, mamma? It would be such a pleasure to see her again.’
‘Hush, child, you don’t think what you are saying. Young ladies can’t visit young men, you{84} silly girl,’ said Mrs. Tracy. And Millicent blushed and glided81 round to the other side of her mother, as they all emerged into the street. Why should that mass of crape be put between them? Ben thought. But yet he had the happiness of walking to the Park with them, and catching82, across Mrs. Tracy’s shadow now and then, a glance of the blue eyes. They talked and amused him the whole way, leading him to the grateful shadows of Kensington Gardens, away from all chance of recognition by his fashionable friends, even had there been any fashionable friends to recognise him. They would not permit him, however, to return with them, but dismissed him under the trees. ‘I am sure we are keeping you from dinner,’ Mrs. Tracy said, ‘and we could only ask you to tea. But I trust you will come to us often to tea, Mr. Renton, when you are our fellow-lodger at No. 10.’
And he went back to the Albany, not miserable83 and misanthropical84 as he left it, but full of loving-kindness and charity to all mankind. He went and dressed himself in honour of ‘the ladies’ whom he had just left, and who had already taken that name in his thoughts; and was most Christian85 in his treatment of Morris, promising86 him the best of characters and fullest explanations of why he was leaving; and he dined at his club, feeling that there was still light and comfort in the world. Hillyard was there, too, in the evening, reading all the newspapers, and{85} yawning horribly over them. To him ‘the ladies’ had opened no paradise. With a temper that was half angelical, notwithstanding the adventurer’s rudeness in the morning, Ben was pitiful and compassionate87 to him in his heart.
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dingy
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| adj.昏暗的，肮脏的 | |
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remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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lodgings
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| n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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glimmering
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| n.微光，隐约的一瞥adj.薄弱地发光的v.发闪光，发微光( glimmer的现在分词 ) | |
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inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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drawn
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tragical
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embarrassment
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twilight
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pointed
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murmur
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adventitious
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stupor
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fully
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melancholy
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sob
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intrusive
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celestial
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enchanted
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spoke
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criticise
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puckered
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anguish
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abruptness
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manor
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throb
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eldest
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entirely
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civilisation
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drooping
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tightened
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providence
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grudged
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intruding
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bosom
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crimsoned
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sardonic
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appendage
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overflow
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sufficiently
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bower
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| n.凉亭，树荫下凉快之处；闺房；v.荫蔽 | |
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bliss
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| n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福 | |
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landlady
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| n.女房东，女地主 | |
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rusty
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| adj.生锈的；锈色的；荒废了的 | |
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pretence
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| n.假装，作假；借口，口实；虚伪；虚饰 | |
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wretch
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| n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人 | |
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swell
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| vi.膨胀，肿胀；增长，增强 | |
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stunning
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| adj.极好的；使人晕倒的 | |
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crafty
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| adj.狡猾的，诡诈的 | |
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growl
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| v.（狗等）嗥叫，（炮等）轰鸣；n.嗥叫，轰鸣 | |
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upbraiding
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| adj.& n.谴责（的）v.责备，申斥，谴责( upbraid的现在分词 ) | |
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hoarse
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| adj.嘶哑的，沙哑的 | |
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exclamation
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| n.感叹号，惊呼，惊叹词 | |
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garnished
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| v.给（上餐桌的食物）加装饰( garnish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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deluge
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| n./vt.洪水，暴雨，使泛滥 | |
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chambers
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| n.房间( chamber的名词复数 )；（议会的）议院；卧室；会议厅 | |
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agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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tingled
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| v.有刺痛感( tingle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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veins
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| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
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judicial
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| adj.司法的，法庭的，审判的，明断的，公正的 | |
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inspection
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| n.检查，审查，检阅 | |
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miraculous
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| adj.像奇迹一样的，不可思议的 | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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justifiable
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| adj.有理由的，无可非议的 | |
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machinery
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| n.(总称)机械，机器；机构 | |
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tremor
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| n.震动，颤动，战栗，兴奋，地震 | |
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dismal
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| adj.阴沉的，凄凉的，令人忧郁的，差劲的 | |
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lodger
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| n.寄宿人，房客 | |
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barricaded
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| 设路障于，以障碍物阻塞( barricade的过去式和过去分词 )； 设路障[防御工事]保卫或固守 | |
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sitting-room
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| n.（BrE）客厅，起居室 | |
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inmate
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| n.被收容者；(房屋等的)居住人；住院人 | |
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stifle
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| vt.使窒息；闷死；扼杀；抑止，阻止 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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rustling
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| n. 瑟瑟声，沙沙声 adj. 发沙沙声的 | |
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bonnets
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| n.童帽( bonnet的名词复数 )；（烟囱等的）覆盖物；（苏格兰男子的）无边呢帽；（女子戴的）任何一种帽子 | |
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confidentially
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| ad.秘密地，悄悄地 | |
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positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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impudence
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| n.厚颜无耻；冒失；无礼 | |
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dubious
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| adj.怀疑的，无把握的；有问题的，靠不住的 | |
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promenades
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| n.人行道( promenade的名词复数 )；散步场所；闲逛v.兜风( promenade的第三人称单数 ) | |
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glided
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| v.滑动( glide的过去式和过去分词 )；掠过；（鸟或飞机 ） 滑翔 | |
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catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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misanthropical
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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promising
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| adj.有希望的，有前途的 | |
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compassionate
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| adj.有同情心的，表示同情的 | |
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