"It wasn't the time," he said aloud to himself, as he sat in his lonely room one night. "It wasn't the time."
He had been thinking of how she looked as she came to him that night, in her simple pale-gray dress, with the little lace kerchief tied round her throat. That, and his memory of the bright figure at the carriage-door, were pictures which had a habit of starting up before him now and again, though chiefly at such times as he was alone and rather feeling his isolation9.
He remembered his own feeling at her girlish pleasure in his gift, the tone of her voice, her attitude as she sat afterward10 on the low seat near him, her chin resting in her hollowed palm, her smiling eyes uplifted[Pg 19] to his. Her pretty, unstudied attitudes had often struck him, and this one lingered in his fancy as somehow belonging naturally to a man's dreams of a fireside.
"If the room and fireside were your own," he said, abstractedly, "you'd like"—
He stopped, and, rising to his feet, suddenly began to pace the room.
"But it wasn't the time," he said. "She would not have understood—I scarcely understood myself—and if we should ever meet again, in all probability the time will have gone by."
After such thoughts he always betook himself to his books again with quite a fierce vigor11, and in the rebound12 accomplished13 a great deal.
He gave a great deal of studious attention to the Indian question, and, in his determination to achieve practical knowledge, undertook more than one dangerous adventure. With those among the tribes whom it was possible to approach openly he made friends, studying their languages and establishing a reputation among them for honor and good faith, which was a useful element in matters of negotiation14 and treaty.
So it came about that his name was frequently mentioned in "the Department," and drifted into the newspapers, his opinions being quoted as opinions carrying weight, and, in an indirect way, the Herricks heard of him oftener than he heard of them, since there had been no regular exchange of letters between them, the professor being the poorest of correspondents. Occasionally, when he fell upon a newspaper paragraph commenting upon Tredennis' work and explaining some of his theories, he was roused to writing him a letter of approval or argument, and at the close of such epistles he usually mentioned his daughter in a fashion peculiarly his own.
"Bertha is happier than ever," he said, the first winter. "Bertha is well, and is said to dance, in the most astonishingly attractive manner, an astonishing [Pg 20]number of times every evening. This I gather not only from her mother, but from certain elaborately ornamented15 cards they call programmes, which I sometimes find and study in private,"—this came the second winter. The third he said: "It dawns upon Bertha that she is certainly cleverer than the majority of her acquaintance. This at once charms and surprises her. She is careful not to obtrude16 the fact upon public notice, but it has been observed; and I find she has quite a little reputation 'in society' as an unusually bright and ready young creature, with a habit of being delightfully17 equal to any occasion. I gradually discover her to be full of subtleties18, of which she is entirely19 unconscious."
Tredennis read this a number of times, and found food for reflection in it. He thought it over frequently during the winter, and out of his pondering upon it grew a plan which began to unfold itself in his mind, rather vaguely20 at first, but afterward more definitely. This plan was his intention to obtain leave of absence, and, having obtained it, to make his way at once to Washington.
He had thought at first of applying for it in the spring, but fate was against him. Difficulties which broke out between the settlers and certain hostile tribes called him into active service, and it was not until the severities of the next winter aided in quelling21 the disturbance22 by driving the Indians into shelter that he found himself free again.
It was late on New Year's Eve that he went to his quarters to write his application for furlough. He had been hard at work all day, and came in cold and tired, and pleased to find the room made cheerful by a great fire of logs, whose leaping flames brightened and warmed every corner. The mail had come in during his absence, and two or three letters lay upon the table with the eastern papers, but he pushed them aside without opening them.
"I will look at them afterward," he said. "This shall[Pg 21] be done first—before the clock strikes twelve. When the New Year comes in"—
He paused, pen in hand, accidentally catching23 a glimpse of his face in the by no means flattering shaving-glass which hung on the wall opposite. He saw himself brown with exposure, bearing marks of thought and responsibility his age did not warrant, and wearing even at this moment the rather stern and rigid24 expression which he had always felt vaguely to be his misfortune. Recognizing it, his face relaxed into a half-smile.
"What a severe-looking fellow!" he said. "That must be improved upon. No one could stand that. It is against a man at the outset."
And the smile remained upon his face for at least ten seconds—at all events until he had drawn25 his paper before him and begun to write. His task was soon completed. The letter written, he folded it, placed it in its envelope and directed it, looking as immovable as ever, and yet conscious of being inwardly more moved than he had ever been before.
"Perhaps," he said, half-aloud, "this is the time, and it is well I waited."
And then he turned to the letters and papers awaiting him.
The papers he merely glanced over and laid aside; the letters he opened and read. There were four of them, three of them business epistles, soon disposed of; the sight of the handwriting upon the fourth made his heart bound suddenly,—it was the clear, space-saving calligraphy26 of Professor Herrick, who labelled his envelopes as economically as if they had been entomological specimens27.
"It's curious that it should have come now," Tredennis said, as he tore it open.
It was a characteristic letter, written, it appeared, with the object of convincing Tredennis that he had been guilty of a slight error in one of his statements concerning the sign-language of a certain tribe. It[Pg 22] devoted28 five pages of closely-written paper to proofs and researches into the subject, and scientific reasons for the truth of all assertions made. It was clear, and by no means uninteresting. The professor never was uninteresting, and he was generally correct. Tredennis read his arguments carefully and with respect, even with an occasional thrill, as he remembered how his communications usually terminated.
But this was an exception to the general rule. At the bottom of the fifth page he signed himself, "Your sincere friend, Nathan Herrick." And he had said nothing about Bertha.
"Not a word," said Tredennis. "He never did so before. What does it mean? Not a word!"
And he had scarcely finished speaking before he saw that on the back of the last page a postscript29 was written,—a brief one, three words, without comment, these: "Bertha is married."
For a few moments Tredennis sat still and stared at them. The glass across the room reflected very little change in his face. The immovable look became a trifle more immovable, if anything. There was scarcely the stirring of a muscle.
At length he moved slowly, folding the letter carefully and returning it to its envelope in exactly the folds it had lain in when he took it out. After that he rose and began to pace the floor with a slow and heavy tread. Once he stopped and spoke30, looking down at the boards beneath his feet.
"Bertha is married," he said, in a low, hard voice. And the clock beginning to strike at the moment, he listened until it ended its stroke of twelve, and then spoke again.
"The New Year," he said; "and Bertha is married."
And he walked to the table where his letter of application lay, and, taking it up, tore it in two and tossed it into the fire.
[Pg 23]
Four years elapsed before he saw Washington, and in the four years he worked harder than before, added to his reputation year by year, and led the unsettled and wandering existence which his profession entailed31. At rare intervals32 he heard from the professor, and once or twice, in the course of his wanderings, he met with Washingtonians who knew the family and gave him news of them. He heard of the death of Mrs. Herrick and something of Bertha's life from the professor, and, on one occasion, while in Chicago, he encountered at the house of an acquaintance a pretty and charming woman who had lived in Washington before her marriage, and, in the course of conversation, the fact that she had known the Herricks revealed itself. She appeared not only to have known but to have liked them, and really brightened and warmed when they were mentioned.
"I was very fond of Bertha," she said, "and we knew each other as well as girls can know each other in the rush of a Washington winter. I was one of her bridesmaids when she was married. Did you know her well?"
And she regarded him with an additional touch of interest in her very lovely eyes.
"Not very well," Tredennis answered. "We are distantly related to each other, and I spent several weeks in her father's house just after her return from school; but I did not know her so well as I knew the professor."
"And you did not meet Mr. Amory?"
"There was no Mr. Amory then," was Tredennis's reply.
"Of course not," said Mrs. Sylvestre. "I might have known that if I had thought for a moment. He only appeared upon the scene the winter before they were married. She met him at a ball at the Mexican minister's, and his fate was sealed."
Tredennis was silent a moment. Then he asked a question.
[Pg 24]
"Did you know him well?" he said.
She reflected an instant, and then replied, smiling:
"He was too much in love for one's acquaintance with him to progress to any great extent. His condition was something like David Copperfield's when he said that he was 'saturated33 with Dora.' He was saturated with Bertha."
"They must be very happy," remarked Tredennis, and he did not know that he spoke in a hard and unresponsive tone, and that his face was more stern than was at all necessary.
"Naturally," responded Mrs. Sylvestre, calmly. "They have money, their children are charming, and their social position is unassailable. Bertha is very clever, and Mr. Amory admires her and is very indulgent. But he could scarcely help that. She is that kind of person."
"She?" repeated Tredennis.
Mrs. Sylvestre smiled again.
"Bertha," she replied. "People are always indulgent with her. She is one of those fortunate persons who are born without any tendency to demand, and who consequently have everything given to them without the trouble of having a struggle. She has a pretty, soft sort of way, and people stand aside before it. Before I knew her well I used to think it was simply cleverness."
"Wasn't it?" said Tredennis.
"Not quite. It escapes that by being constitutional amiability34 and grace; but if it wasn't constitutional amiability and grace it would be cleverness, and you would resent it. As it is, you like her for it. She is pretty and charming, and has her little world at her feet, and yet her manner is such that you find yourself wondering if she even suspects it."
"Does she?" asked Tredennis.
Mrs. Sylvestre turned her attention to the other side of the room.
[Pg 25]
"There is Mr. Sylvestre," she said, serenely35. "He is coming to us. You must know each other."
And then Mr. Sylvestre sauntered up. He was a very handsome man, with a rather languid air, which remotely suggested that if he took off his manners and folded them away he would reveal the unadorned fact that he was bored. But even he bestirred himself a little when Tredennis' relationship to the Herricks was mentioned.
"What!" he said. "You are Mrs. Amory's cousin?"
"Only third or fourth," responded Tredennis.
"By Jove! You're in luck!" his new acquaintance returned. "Third or fourth is near enough. I wouldn't object to sixth, myself. Do you see her often?"
"I have not seen her for seven years."
Mr. Sylvestre bestowed36 a critical glance upon him.
"What's the matter with you?" he inquired, languidly. "There's something radically37 wrong about a man who neglects his opportunities in that way." He paused and smiled, showing his white teeth through his mustache. "Oh, she's a clever little dev"—He pulled himself up with remarkable adroitness38. "She's very clever," he said. "She's delightfully clever."
"She must be," commented Tredennis, unenthusiastically. "I never hear her mentioned without its being added that she is very clever."
"You would be likely to find the thing out for yourself when you met her—even if you hadn't heard it," said Mr. Sylvestre.
When Tredennis returned to his room that night he sat down to read, deliberately39 choosing a complicated work which demanded the undivided attention of the peruser40. He sat before it for half an hour, with bent41 brow and unyielding demeanor42; but at the end of that time he pushed it aside, left his seat, and began to pace the floor, and so walked with a gloomy face until it was long past midnight when he put out the light and went to bed.
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1
remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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perilous
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| adj.危险的，冒险的 | |
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3
invaluable
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| adj.无价的，非常宝贵的，极为贵重的 | |
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4
desolate
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| adj.荒凉的，荒芜的；孤独的，凄凉的；v.使荒芜，使孤寂 | |
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5
groove
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| n.沟，槽；凹线，（刻出的）线条，习惯 | |
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6
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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7
awaken
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| vi.醒，觉醒；vt.唤醒，使觉醒，唤起，激起 | |
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8
stolidly
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| adv.迟钝地，神经麻木地 | |
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9
isolation
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| n.隔离，孤立，分解，分离 | |
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10
afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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vigor
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| n.活力，精力，元气 | |
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12
rebound
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| v.弹回；n.弹回，跳回 | |
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13
accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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14
negotiation
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| n.谈判，协商 | |
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15
ornamented
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| adj.花式字体的v.装饰，点缀，美化( ornament的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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16
obtrude
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| v.闯入；侵入；打扰 | |
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17
delightfully
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| 大喜，欣然 | |
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18
subtleties
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| 细微( subtlety的名词复数 )； 精细； 巧妙； 细微的差别等 | |
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19
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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quelling
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| v.（用武力）制止，结束，镇压( quell的现在分词 ) | |
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disturbance
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| n.动乱，骚动；打扰，干扰；(身心)失调 | |
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catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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rigid
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| adj.严格的，死板的；刚硬的，僵硬的 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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26
calligraphy
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| n.书法 | |
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specimens
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| n.样品( specimen的名词复数 )；范例；（化验的）抽样；某种类型的人 | |
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28
devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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postscript
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| n.附言，又及；(正文后的)补充说明 | |
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30
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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31
entailed
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| 使…成为必要( entail的过去式和过去分词 )； 需要； 限定继承； 使必需 | |
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intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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33
saturated
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| a.饱和的，充满的 | |
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34
amiability
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| n.和蔼可亲的，亲切的，友善的 | |
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35
serenely
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| adv.安详地，宁静地，平静地 | |
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36
bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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radically
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| ad.根本地，本质地 | |
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adroitness
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deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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40
peruser
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| 精细阅读者 | |
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41
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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42
demeanor
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| n.行为；风度 | |
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