It could scarcely be said that she missed anything when she went her rounds later. No familiar face escaped her; she recognized people at windows, in[Pg 559] carriages, on platforms. Among others she caught a glimpse of Mrs. Amory, who drove by on her way to the Capitol with her father and Jack7 and Janey.
"She looks a little tired about the eyes," thought Miss Jessup. "She has looked a little that way all the season, though she keeps going steadily8 enough. They work as hard as the rest of us, in their way, these society women. She will be at the ball to-night, I dare say."
Bertha herself had wondered if she would find herself there. Even as she drove past Miss Jessup, she was thinking that it seemed almost impossible; but she had thought things impossible often during the winter which had gone by, and had found them come to pass and leave her almost as before. Gradually, however, people had begun to miss something in her. There was no denying, they said, that she had lost some of her vivacity9 and spirit; some tone had gone from her voice; something of color from her manner. Perhaps she would get over it. Amory had not behaved well in the Westoria land affair, and she naturally felt his absence and the shadow under which he rested.
"Very gradually," she said to the professor once, "I think I am retiring from the world. I never was really very clever or pretty. I don't hide it so well as I used to, and people are finding me out. Often I am a little dull, and it is not likely they will forgive me that."
But she was not dull at home, or the professor never thought so. She was not dull now, as she pointed10 out objects of interest to Jack and Janey.
"I wish Uncle Philip were here!" cried Jack. "He would have his sword on and be in uniform, and he would look taller than all the rest,—taller than the President."
The day was very brilliant to the children; they were as indefatigable11 as Miss Jessup, and missed as little as if they had been in search of items. The blare of[Pg 560] brazen12 instruments, the tramp of soldiers, the rattle13 of arms, the rushing crowds, the noise and color and excitement, filled them with rapture14. When they finally reached home they were worn out with their delights. Bertha was not less fatigued15; but, after the nursery was quiet and the children were asleep, she came down to dine with the professor.
"And we will go to the ball for an hour," she said. "We cannot submit to having it described to us for the next two weeks by people who were there."
The truth was that she could not sit at home and listen to the carriages rolling by, and watch the dragging hours with such memories as must fill them.
So at half-past ten she stood in her room, putting the last touches to her toilet, and shortly afterward16 she was driving with the professor toward the scene of the night's gayeties. She had seen the same scene on each like occasion since her eighteenth year. There was nothing new about it to-night; there was some change in dances and music, but the same types of people crowded against each other, looking on at the dancing, pointing out the President, asking the old questions, and making the old comments; young people whirled together in the centre of the ballroom17, and older ones watched them, with some slight wonder at the interest they evinced in the exercise. Bertha danced only a few quadrilles. As she went through them she felt again what she had felt on each such occasion since the night of the ball of the last year,—the music seemed too loud, the people too vivacious18, the gayety about her too tumultuous; though, judged by ordinary standards, there could have been no complaint against it.
But, notwithstanding this feeling, she lingered longer than she had intended, trying to hide from herself her dread19 of returning home. No one but herself knew—even the professor did not suspect—how empty the house seemed to her, and how its loneliness grew and grew[Pg 561] until sometimes it overpowered her and became a sort of deadly presence. Richard's empty rooms were a terror to her; she never passed their closed doors without a shock.
At half-past twelve, however, she decided20 to go home. She had just ended a dance with a young attaché of one of the legations; he was a brilliantly hued21 and graceful22 young butterfly, and danced and talked well. There had been a time when she had liked to hear his sharp, slightly satirical nonsense, and had enjoyed a dance with him. She had listened to-night, and had used her pretty smile at opportune23 moments; but she was glad to sit down again.
"Now," she said to him, "will you be so good as to find my father for me, and tell him I will go home?"
"I will, if I must," he answered. "But otherwise"—
"You will if you are amiable," she said. "I blush to own that I am tired. I have assisted in the inaugural24 ceremonies without flinching25 from their first step until their last, and I begin to feel that His Excellency is safe and I may retire."
He found her a quiet corner and went to do her bidding. She was partly shielded by some tall plants, and was glad of the retreat they afforded her. She sat and let her eyes rest upon the moving crowd promenading26 the room between the dances; the music had ceased, and she could catch snatches of conversation as people passed her. Among the rest were a pretty, sparkling-eyed girl and a young army officer who attracted her. She watched them on their way round the circle twice, and they were just nearing her for the second time when her attention was drawn27 from them by the sound of voices near her.
"Indian outbreak," she heard. "Tredennis! News just came in."
She rose from her seat. The speakers were on the other side of the plants. One of them was little Miss[Pg 562] Jessup, the other a stranger, and Miss Jessup was pale with agitation28 and professional interest, and her note-book trembled in her little, bird-like hand.
"Colonel Tredennis!" she said. "Oh! I knew him. I liked him—every one did—every one! What are the particulars? Are they really authenticated29? Oh, what a terrible thing!"
"We know very few particulars," was the answer; "but those we know are only too well authenticated. We shall hear more later. The Indians attacked a small settlement, and a party went from the fort to the rescue. Colonel Tredennis commanded it. The Indians were apparently30 beaten off, but returned. A little child had been left in the house, through some misunderstanding, and Tredennis heard it crying as the Indians made their second attack, and went after it. He was shot as he brought it out in his arms."
Little Miss Jessup burst into tears and dropped her note-book.
"Oh!" she cried. "He was a good, brave man! He was a good man!"
The band struck up a waltz. The promenading stopped; a score or two of couples took their place upon the floor, and began to whirl swiftly past the spot where Bertha stood; the music seemed to grow faster and faster, and louder, and still more loud.
Bertha stood still.
She had not moved when the professor came to her. He himself wore a sad, grief-stricken face; he had heard the news too; it had not taken it long to travel around the room.
"Take me home," she said to him. "Philip is dead! Philip has been killed!"
He took her away as quickly as he could through the whirling crowd of dancers, past the people who crowded, and laughed, and listened to the music of the band.
[Pg 563]
"Keep close to me!" she said. "Do not let them see my face!"
When they were shut up in the carriage together she sat shuddering31 for a moment, he shuddering, also, at the sight of the face he had hidden; then she trembled into his arms, clung to his shoulder, cowered32 down and hid herself upon his knee, slipped down kneeling upon the floor of the carriage, and clung to him with both her arms.
"I never told you that I was a wicked woman," she said. "I will tell you now; always—always I have tried to hide that it was Philip—Philip!"—
"Poor child!" he said. "Poor, unhappy—most unhappy child!" All the strength of her body seemed to have gone into the wild clasp of her slender arms.
"I have suffered," she said. "I have been broken; I have been crushed. I knew that I should never see him again, but he was alive. Do you think that I shall some day have been punished enough?"
He clasped her close to his breast, and laid his gray head upon her brown one, shedding bitter tears.
"We do not know that this is punishment," he said.
"No," she answered. "We do not know. Take me home to my little children. Let me stay with them. I will try to be a good mother—I will try"—
She lay in his arms until the carriage stopped. Then they got out and went into the house. When they closed the door behind them, and stood in the hall together, the deadly silence smote33 them both. They did not speak to each other. The professor supported her with his arm as they went slowly up the stairs. He had extinguished the light below before they came up. All the house seemed dark but for a glow of fire-light coming through an open door on the first landing. It was the door Philip Tredennis had seen open the first night when he had looked in and had seen Bertha sitting in her nursery-chair with her child on her breast.
There they both stopped. Before the professor's eyes there rose, with strange and terrible clearness, the vision of a girl's bright face looking backward at him from the night, the light streaming upon it as it smiled above a cluster of white roses. And it was this that remained before him when, a moment afterward, Bertha went into the room and closed the door.
THE END.
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1
inauguration
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| n.开幕、就职典礼 | |
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2
evergreens
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| n.常青树，常绿植物，万年青( evergreen的名词复数 ) | |
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3
regiments
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| （军队的）团( regiment的名词复数 )； 大量的人或物 | |
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4
treasury
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| n.宝库；国库，金库；文库 | |
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5
appreciation
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| n.评价；欣赏；感谢；领会，理解；价格上涨 | |
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6
jotting
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| n.简短的笔记，略记v.匆忙记下( jot的现在分词 )；草草记下，匆匆记下 | |
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7
jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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8
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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9
vivacity
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| n.快活，活泼，精神充沛 | |
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10
pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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11
indefatigable
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| adj.不知疲倦的，不屈不挠的 | |
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12
brazen
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| adj.厚脸皮的，无耻的，坚硬的 | |
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13
rattle
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| v.飞奔，碰响；激怒；n.碰撞声；拨浪鼓 | |
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14
rapture
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| n.狂喜；全神贯注；着迷；v.使狂喜 | |
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15
fatigued
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| adj. 疲乏的 | |
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16
afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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17
ballroom
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| n.舞厅 | |
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18
vivacious
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| adj.活泼的，快活的 | |
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19
dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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20
decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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21
hued
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| 有某种色调的 | |
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22
graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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23
opportune
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| adj.合适的，适当的 | |
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24
inaugural
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| adj.就职的；n.就职典礼 | |
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25
flinching
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| v.（因危险和痛苦）退缩，畏惧( flinch的现在分词 ) | |
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26
promenading
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| v.兜风( promenade的现在分词 ) | |
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27
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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28
agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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29
authenticated
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| v.证明是真实的、可靠的或有效的( authenticate的过去式和过去分词 )；鉴定，使生效 | |
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30
apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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31
shuddering
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| v.战栗( shudder的现在分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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32
cowered
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| v.畏缩，抖缩( cower的过去式 ) | |
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33
smote
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| v.猛打，重击，打击( smite的过去式 ) | |
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