My dear Lord Hampstead,—
Mr. Crocker's case is a very bad one; but the Postmaster General shall see your appeal, and his lordship will, I am sure, sympathize with your humanity—as do I also. I cannot take upon myself to say what his lordship will think it right to do, and it will be better, therefore, that you should abstain1 for the present from communicating with Mr. Crocker.
I am,
Your lordship's very faithful servant,
Boreas Bodkin.
Any excuse was sufficient to our ?olus to save him from the horror of dismissing a man. He knew well that Crocker, as a public servant, was not worth his salt. Sir Boreas was blessed,—or cursed,—with a conscience, but the stings of his conscience, though they were painful, did not hurt him so much as those of his feelings. He had owned to himself on this occasion that Crocker must go. Crocker was in every way distasteful to him. He was not only untrustworthy and incapable2, but audacious also, and occasionally impudent3. He was a clerk of whom he had repeatedly said that it would be much better to pay him his salary and let him have perpetual leave of absence, than keep him even if there were no salary to be paid. Now there had come a case on which it was agreed by all the office that the man must go. Destroy a bundle of official papers! Mr. Jerningham had been heard to declare that the law was in fault in not having provided that a man should be at once sent to Newgate for doing such a thing. "The stupid old fool's letters weren't really worth anything," Sir Boreas had said, as though attempting to palliate the crime! Mr. Jerningham had only shaken his head. What else could he do? It was not for him to dispute any matter with Sir Boreas. But to his thinking the old gentleman's letters had become precious documents, priceless records, as soon as they had once been bound by the red tape of the Government, and enveloped4 by the security of an official pigeon-hole. To stay away without leave,—to be drunk,—to be obstinately5 idle,—to be impudent, were great official sins; but Mr. Jerningham was used to them, and knew that as they had often occurred before, so would they re-occur. Clerks are mortal men, and will be idle, will be reckless, will sometimes get into disreputable rows. A little added severity, Mr. Jerningham thought, would improve his branch of the department, but, knowing the nature of men, the nature especially of Sir Boreas, he could make excuses. Here, however, was a case in which no superior Civil Servant could entertain a doubt. And yet Sir Boreas palliated even this crime! Mr. Jerningham shook his head, and Sir Boreas shoved on one side, so as to avoid for a day the pain of thinking about them, the new bundle of papers which had already formed itself on the great Crocker case. If some one would tear up that, what a blessing6 it would be!
In this way there was delay, during which Crocker was not allowed to show his face at the office, and during this delay Clara Demijohn became quite confirmed in her determination to throw over her engagement. Tribbledale with his ￡120 would be much better than Crocker with nothing. And then it was agreed generally in Paradise Row that there was something romantic in Tribbledale's constancy. Tribbledale was in the Row every day,—or perhaps rather every night;—seeking counsel from Mrs. Grimley, and comforting himself with hot gin-and-water. Mrs. Grimley was good-natured, and impartial8 to both the young men. She liked customers, and she liked marriages generally. "If he ain't got no income of course he's out of the running," Mrs. Grimley said to Tribbledale, greatly comforting the young man's heart. "You go in and win," said Mrs. Grimley, indicating by that her opinion that the ardent9 suitor would probably be successful if he urged his love at the present moment. "Strike while the iron is hot," she said, alluding10 probably to the heat to which Clara's anger would be warmed by the feeling that the other lover had lost his situation just when he was most bound to be careful in maintaining it.
Tribbledale went in and pleaded his case. It is probable that just at this time Clara herself was made acquainted with Tribbledale's frequent visits to The Duchess, and though she may not have been pleased with the special rendezvous11 selected, she was gratified by the devotion shown. When Mrs. Grimley advised Tribbledale to "go in and win," she was, perhaps, in Clara's confidence. When a girl has told all her friends that she is going to be married, and has already expended12 a considerable portion of the sum of money allowed for her wedding garments, she cannot sink back into the simple position of an unengaged young woman without pangs13 of conscience and qualms14 of remorse15. Paradise Row knew that her young man was to be dismissed from his office, and condoled16 with her frequently and most unpleasantly. Mrs. Duffer was so unbearable17 in the matter that the two ladies had quarrelled dreadfully. Clara from the first moment of her engagement with Crocker had been proud of the second string to her bow, and now perceived that the time had come in which it might be conveniently used.
It was near eleven when Tribbledale knocked at the door of No. 10, but nevertheless Clara was up, as was also the servant girl, who opened the door for the sake of discretion18. "Oh, Daniel, what hours you do keep!" said Clara, when the young gentleman was shown into the parlour. "What on earth brings you here at such a time as this?"
Tribbledale was never slow to declare that he was brought thither19 by the overwhelming ardour of his passion. His love for Clara was so old a story, and had been told so often, that the repeating of it required no circumlocution20. Had he chanced to meet her in the High Street on a Sunday morning, he would have begun with it at once. "Clara," he said, "will you have me? I know that that other scoundrel is a ruined man."
"Oh, Daniel, you shouldn't hit those as are down."
"Hasn't he been hitting me all the time that I was down? Hasn't he triumphed? Haven't you been in his arms?"
"Laws; no."
"And wasn't that hitting me when I was down, do you think?"
"It never did you any harm."
"Oh, Clara;—if you knew the nature of my love you'd understand the harm. Every time he has pressed your lips I have heard it, though I was in King's Head Court all the time."
"That must be a crammer, Daniel."
"I did;—not with the ears of my head, but with the fibres of my breast."
"Oh;—ah. But, Daniel, you and Sam used to be such friends at the first go off."
"Go off of what?"
"When he first took to coming after me. You remember the tea-party, when Marion Fay was here."
"I tried it on just then;—I did. I thought that, maybe, I might come not to care about it so much."
"I'm sure you acted it very well."
"And I thought that perhaps it might be the best way of touching21 that cold heart of yours."
"Cold! I don't know as my heart is colder than anybody else's heart."
"Would that you would make it warm once more for me."
"Poor Sam!" said Clara, putting her handkerchief up to her eyes.
"Why is he any poorer than me? I was first. At any rate I was before him."
"I don't know anything about firsts or lasts," said Clara, as the ghosts of various Banquos flitted before her eyes.
"And as for him, what right has he to think of any girl? He's a poor mean creature, without the means of getting so much as a bed for a wife to lie on. He used to talk so proud of Her Majesty's Civil Service. Her Majesty's Civil Service has sent him away packing."
"Not yet, Daniel."
"They have. I've made it my business to find out, and Sir Boreas Bodkin has written the order to-day. 'Dismissal—B. B.' I know those who have seen the very words written in the punishment book of the Post Office."
"Poor Sam!"
"Destroying papers of the utmost importance about Her Majesty's Mail Service! What else was he to expect? And now he's penniless."
"A hundred and twenty isn't so very much, Daniel."
"Mr. Fay was saying only the other day that if I was married and settled they'd make it better for me."
"You're too fond of The Duchess, Daniel."
"No, Clara—no; I deny that. You ask Mrs. Grimley why it is I come to The Duchess so often. It isn't for anything that I take there."
"Oh; I didn't know. Young men when they frequent those places generally do take something."
"If I had a little home of my own with the girl I love on the other side of the fireplace, and perhaps a baby in her arms—" Tribbledale as he said this looked at her with all his eyes.
"Laws, Daniel; what things you do say!"
"I should never go then to any Duchess, or any Marquess of Granby, or to any Angel." These were public-houses so named, all standing22 thick together in the neighbourhood of Paradise Row. "I should not want to go anywhere then,—except where that young woman and that baby were to be found."
"Daniel, you was always fine at poetry."
"Try me, if it isn't real prose. The proof of the pudding's in the eating. You come and try." By this time Clara was in his arms, and the re-engagement was as good as made. Crocker was no doubt dismissed,—or if not dismissed had shown himself to be unworthy. What could be expected of a husband who could tear up a bundle of Her Majesty's Mail papers? And then Daniel Tribbledale had exhibited a romantic constancy which certainly deserved to be rewarded. Clara understood that the gin-and-water had been consumed night after night for her sake. And there were the lodgings23 and the clock and the harmonium ready for the occasion. "I suppose it had better be so, Daniel, as you wish it so much."
"Wish it! I have always wished it. I wouldn't change places now with Mr. Pogson himself."
"He married his third wife three years ago!"
"I mean in regard to the whole box and dice24 of it. I'd rather have my Clara with ￡120, than be Pogson and Littlebird with all the profits." This gratifying assurance was rewarded, and then, considerably25 after midnight, the triumphant26 lover took his leave.
Early on the following afternoon Crocker was in Paradise Row. He had been again with Lord Hampstead, and had succeeded in worming out of the good-natured nobleman something of the information contained in the letter from Sir Boreas. The matter was to be left to the Postmaster-General. Now there was an idea in the office that when a case was left to his lordship, his lordship never proceeded to extremities27. Kings are bound to pardon if they allow themselves to be personally concerned as to punishment. There was something of the same feeling in regard to official discipline. As a fact the letter from Sir Boreas had been altogether false. He had known, poor man, that he must at last take the duty of deciding upon himself, and had used the name of the great chief simply as a mode of escape for the moment. But Crocker had felt that the mere28 statement indicated pardon. The very delay indicated pardon. Relying upon these indications he went to Paradise Row, dressed in his best frock coat, with gloves in his hand, to declare to his love that the lodgings need not be abandoned, and that the clock and harmonium might be preserved.
"But you've been dismissed!" said Clara.
"Never! never!"
"It has been written in the book! 'Dismissal—B. B.!' I know the eyes that have seen it."
"That's not the way they do it at all," said Crocker, who was altogether confused.
"It has been written in the book, Sam; and I know that they never go back from that."
"Who wrote it? Nothing has been written. There isn't a book;—not at least like that. Tribbledale has invented it."
"Oh, Sam, why did you tear those papers;—Her Majesty's Mail papers? What else was there to expect? 'Dismissal—B. B.;' Why did you do it,—and you engaged to a young woman? No;—don't come nigh to me. How is a young woman to go and get herself married to a young man, and he with nothing to support her? It isn't to be thought of. When I heard those words, 'Dismissal—B. B.,' I thought my very heart would sink within me."
"It's nothing of the kind," said Crocker.
"What's nothing of the kind?"
"I ain't dismissed at all."
"Oh, Sam; how dare you?"
"I tell you I ain't. He's written a letter to Lord Hampstead, who has always been my friend. Hampstead wasn't going to see me treated after that fashion. Hampstead wrote, and then ?olus wrote,—that's Sir Boreas,—and I've seen the letter,—that is, Hampstead told me what there is in it; and I ain't to be dismissed at all. When I heard the good news the first thing I did was to come as fast as my legs would carry me, and tell the girl of my heart."
Clara did not quite believe him; but then neither had she quite believed Tribbledale, when he had announced the dismissal with the terrible corroboration29 of the great man's initials. But the crime committed seemed to her to be so great that she could not understand that Crocker should be allowed to remain after the perpetration of it. Crocker's salary was ￡150; and, balancing the two young men together as she had often done, though she liked the poetry of Tribbledale, she did on the whole prefer the swagger and audacity30 of Crocker. Her Majesty's Civil Service, too, had its charms for her. The Post Office was altogether superior to Pogson and Littlebird's. Pogson and Littlebird's hours were 9 to 5. Those of Her Majesty's Service were much more genteel;—10 namely to 4. But what might not a man do who had shown the nature of his disposition31 by tearing up official papers? And then, though the accidents of the occasion had enveloped her in difficulties on both sides, it seemed to her that, at the present moment, the lesser32 difficulties would be encountered by adhering to Tribbledale. She could excuse herself with Crocker. Paradise Row had already declared that the match with Crocker must be broken off. Crocker had indeed been told that the match was to be broken off. When Tribbledale had come to her overnight she had felt herself to be a free woman. When she had given way to the voice of the charmer, when she had sunk into his arms, softened33 by that domestic picture which he had painted, no pricks34 of conscience had disturbed her happiness. Whether the "Dismissal—B. B." had or had not yet been written, it was sure to come. She was as free to "wed7 another" as was Venice when her Doge was deposed35. She could throw herself back upon the iniquity36 of the torn papers were Crocker to complain. But should she now return to her Crocker, how could she excuse herself with Tribbledale? "It is all over between you and me, Sam," she said with her handkerchief up to her eyes.
"All over! Why should it be all over?"
"You was told it was all over."
"That was when all the Row said that I was to be dismissed. There was something in it,—then; though, perhaps, a girl might have waited till a fellow had got up upon his legs again."
"Waiting ain't so pleasant, Mr. Crocker, when a girl has to look after herself."
"But I ain't dismissed at all, and there needn't be any waiting. I thought that you would be suffering as well as me, and so I came right away to you, all at once."
"So I have suffered, Sam. No one knows what I have suffered."
"But it'll come all right now?" Clara shook her head. "You don't mean that Tribbledale's been and talked you over already?"
"I knew Mr. Tribbledale before ever I saw you, Sam."
"How often have I heard you call him a poor mean skunk37?"
"Never, Crocker; never. Such a word never passed my lips."
"Something very like it then."
"I may have said he wanted sperrit. I may have said so, though I disremember it. But if I did,—what of that?"
"You despised him."
"No, Crocker. What I despise is a man as goes and tears up Her Majesty's Mail papers. Tribbledale never tore up anything at Pogson and Littlebird's,—except what was to be tore. Tribbledale was never turned out for nigh a fortnight, so that he couldn't go and show his face in King's Head Court. Tribbledale never made hisself hated by everybody." That unknown abominable38 word which Crocker had put into her mouth had roused all the woman within her, so that she was enabled to fight her battle with a courage which would not have come to her aid had he been more prudent39.
"Who hates me?"
"Mr. Jerningham does, and Roden, and Sir Boreas, and Bobbin." She had learned all their names. "How can they help hating a man that tears up the mail papers! And I hate you."
"Clara!"
"I do. What business had you to say I used that nasty word? I never do use them words. I wouldn't even so much as look at a man who'd demean himself to put such words as them into my mouth. So I tell you what it is, Mr. Crocker; you may just go away. I am going to become Daniel Tribbledale's wife, and it isn't becoming in you to stand here talking to a young woman that is engaged to another young man."
"And this is to be the end of it?"
"If you please, Mr. Crocker."
"Well!"
"If ever you feel inclined to speak your mind to another young woman, and you carry it as far as we did, and you wishes to hold on to her, don't you go and tear Her Majesty's Mail papers. And when she tells you a bit of her mind, as I did just now, don't you go and put nasty words into her mouth. Now, if you please, you may just as well send over that clock and that harmonium to Daniel Tribbledale, Esq., King's Head Court, Great Broad Street." So saying she left him, and congratulated herself on having terminated the interview without much unpleasantness.
Crocker, as he shook the dust off his feet upon leaving Paradise Row, began to ask himself whether he might not upon the whole congratulate himself as to the end to which that piece of business had been brought. When he had first resolved to offer his hand to the young lady, he had certainly imagined that that hand would not be empty. Clara was no doubt "a fine girl," but not quite so young as she was once. And she had a temper of her own. Matrimony, too, was often followed by many troubles. Paradise Row would no doubt utter jeers40, but he need not go there to hear them. He was not quite sure but that the tearing of the papers would in the long run be beneficial to him.
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1
abstain
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| v.自制，戒绝，弃权，避免 | |
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incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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3
impudent
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| adj.鲁莽的，卑鄙的，厚颜无耻的 | |
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4
enveloped
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| v.包围，笼罩，包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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obstinately
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| ad.固执地，顽固地 | |
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6
blessing
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| n.祈神赐福；祷告；祝福，祝愿 | |
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7
wed
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| v.娶，嫁，与…结婚 | |
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8
impartial
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| adj.(in,to)公正的，无偏见的 | |
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ardent
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
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10
alluding
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| 提及，暗指( allude的现在分词 ) | |
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rendezvous
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| n.约会，约会地点，汇合点；vi.汇合，集合；vt.使汇合，使在汇合地点相遇 | |
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12
expended
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| v.花费( expend的过去式和过去分词 )；使用（钱等）做某事；用光；耗尽 | |
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pangs
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| 突然的剧痛( pang的名词复数 )； 悲痛 | |
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qualms
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| n.不安；内疚 | |
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remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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16
condoled
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| v.表示同情，吊唁( condole的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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unbearable
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| adj.不能容忍的；忍受不住的 | |
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discretion
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| n.谨慎；随意处理 | |
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thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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circumlocution
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| n. 绕圈子的话，迂回累赘的陈述 | |
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touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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lodgings
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| n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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dice
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| n.骰子；vt.把（食物）切成小方块，冒险 | |
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considerably
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| adv.极大地；相当大地；在很大程度上 | |
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triumphant
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| adj.胜利的，成功的；狂欢的，喜悦的 | |
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extremities
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| n.端点( extremity的名词复数 )；尽头；手和足；极窘迫的境地 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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corroboration
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| n.进一步的证实，进一步的证据 | |
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audacity
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| n.大胆，卤莽，无礼 | |
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disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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lesser
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| adj.次要的，较小的；adv.较小地，较少地 | |
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softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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pricks
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| 刺痛( prick的名词复数 )； 刺孔； 刺痕； 植物的刺 | |
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deposed
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| v.罢免( depose的过去式和过去分词 )；（在法庭上）宣誓作证 | |
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iniquity
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| n.邪恶；不公正 | |
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skunk
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| n.臭鼬，黄鼠狼；v.使惨败，使得零分；烂醉如泥 | |
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38
abominable
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| adj.可厌的，令人憎恶的 | |
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prudent
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| adj.谨慎的，有远见的，精打细算的 | |
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40
jeers
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| n.操纵帆桁下部（使其上下的）索具；嘲讽( jeer的名词复数 )v.嘲笑( jeer的第三人称单数 ) | |
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