Nevertheless she had had sorrows, as who has not? But she had kept her tears for herself, and had shown her smiles for the comfort, of those around her. In this little story it shall be told how in a certain period of her life she had suffered much;—how she still smiled, and how at last she got the better of her sorrow.
Her father was the country doctor in the populous2 and straggling parish of Beetham. Beetham is one of those places so often found in the south of England,{324} half village, half town, for the existence of which there seems to be no special reason. It had no mayor, no municipality, no market, no pavements, and no gas. It was therefore no more than a village;—but it had a doctor, and Alice’s father, Dr. Dugdale, was the man. He had been established at Beetham for more than thirty years, and knew every pulse and every tongue for ten miles round. I do not know that he was very great as a doctor;—but he was a kind-hearted, liberal man, and he enjoyed the confidence of the Beethamites, which is everything. For thirty years he had worked hard and had brought up a large family without want. He was still working hard, though turned sixty, at the time of which we are speaking. He had even in his old age many children dependent on him, and though he had fairly prospered4, he had not become a rich man.
He had been married twice, and Alice was the only child left at home by his first wife. Two elder sisters were married, and an elder brother was away in the world. Alice had been much younger than they, and had been the only child living with him when he had brought to his house a second mother for her. She was then fifteen. Eight or nine years had since gone, and almost every year had brought an increase to the doctor’s family. There were now seven little Dugdales in and about the nursery; and what the seven would do when Alice should go away the folk of Beetham always declared that they were quite at a loss even to guess. For Mrs. Dugdale was one of those women who{325} succumb5 to difficulties,—who seem originally to have been made of soft material and to have become warped6, out of joint7, tattered8, and almost useless under the wear of the world. But Alice had been constructed of thoroughly9 seasoned timber, so that, let her be knocked about as she might, she was never out of repair. Now the doctor, excellent as he was at doctoring, was not very good at household matters,—so that the folk at Beetham had reason to be at a loss when they bethought themselves as to what would happen when Alice should “go away.”
Of course there is always that prospect10 of a girl’s “going away.” Girls not unfrequently intend to go away. Sometimes they “go away” very suddenly, without any previous intention. At any rate such a girl as Alice cannot be regarded as a fixture11 in a house. Binding12 as may be her duties at home, it is quite understood that should any adequate provocation13 to “go away” be brought within her reach, she will go, let the duties be what they may. Alice was a thoroughly good girl,—good to her father, good to her little brothers and sisters, unutterably good to that poor foolish stepmother;—but, no doubt she would “go away” if duly asked.
When that vista14 of future discomfort15 in the doctor’s house first made itself clearly apparent to the Beethamites, an idea that Alice might perhaps go very soon had begun to prevail in the village. The eldest16 son of the vicar, Parson Rossiter, had come back from India as Major Rossiter, with an appointment, as some{326} said, of ￡2,000 a year;—let us put it down as ￡1,500;—and had renewed his acquaintance with his old playfellow. Others, more than one or two, had endeavoured before this to entice17 Alice to “go away,” but it was said that the dark-visaged warrior18, with his swarthy face and black beard, and bright eyes,—probably, too, something in him nobler than those outward bearings,—had whispered words which had prevailed. It was supposed that Alice now had a fitting lover, and that therefore she would “go away.”
There was no doubt in the mind of any single inhabitant of Beetham as to the quality of the lover. It was considered on all sides that he was fitting,—so fitting that Alice would of course go when asked. John Rossiter was such a man that every Beethamite looked upon him as a hero,—so that Beetham was proud to have produced him. In small communities a man will come up now and then as to whom it is surmised19 that any young lady would of course accept him. This man, who was now about ten years older than Alice, had everything to recommend him. He was made up of all good gifts of beauty, conduct, dignity, good heart,—and fifteen hundred a year at the very least. His official duties required him to live in London, from which Beetham was seventy miles distant; but those duties allowed him ample time for visiting the parsonage. So very fitting he was to take any girl away upon whom he might fix an eye of approbation20, that there were others, higher than Alice in the world’s standing21, who were said to grudge22 the{327} young lady of the village so great a prize. For Alice Dugdale was a young lady of the village and no more; whereas there were county families around, with daughters, among whom the Rossiters had been in the habit of mixing. Now that such a Rossiter had come to the fore3, the parsonage family was held to be almost equal to county people.
To whatever extent Alice’s love affairs had gone, she herself had been very silent about them; nor had her lover as yet taken the final step of being closeted for ten minutes with her father. Nevertheless everybody had been convinced in Beetham that it would be so,—unless it might be Mrs. Rossiter. Mrs. Rossiter was ambitious for her son, and in this matter sympathised with the county people. The county people certainly were of opinion that John Rossiter might do better, and did not altogether see what there was in Alice Dugdale to make such a fuss about. Of course she had a sweet countenance23, rather brown, with good eyes. She had not, they said, another feature in her face which could be called handsome. Her nose was broad. Her mouth was large. They did not like that perpetual dimpling of the cheek which, if natural, looked as if it were practised. She was stout24, almost stumpy, they thought. No doubt she danced well, having a good ear and being active and healthy; but with such a waist no girl could really be graceful25. They acknowledged her to be the best nursemaid that ever a mother had in her family; but they thought it a pity that she should be taken away from duties for which her presence was so much{328} desired, at any rate by such a one as John Rossiter. I, who knew Beetham well, and who though turned the hill of middle life had still an eye for female charms, used to declare to myself that Alice, though she was decidedly village and not county, was far, far away the prettiest girl in that part of the world.
The old parson loved her, and so did Miss Rossiter,—Miss Janet Rossiter,—who was four or five years older than her brother, and therefore quite an old maid. But John was so great a man that neither of them dared to say much to encourage him,—as neither did Mrs. Rossiter to use her eloquence26 on the other side. It was felt by all of them that any persuasion27 might have on John anything but the intended effect. When a man at the age of thirty-three is Deputy Assistant Inspector28 General of Cavalry29, it is not easy to talk him this way or that in a matter of love. And John Rossiter, though the best fellow in the world, was apt to be taciturn on such a subject. Men frequently marry almost without thinking about it at all. “Well; perhaps I might as well. At any rate I cannot very well help it.” That too often is the frame of mind. Rossiter’s discussion to himself was of a higher nature than that, but perhaps not quite what it should have been. “This is a thing of such moment that it requires to be pondered again and again. A man has to think of himself, and of her, and of the children which have to come after him;—of the total good or total bad which may come of such a decision.” As in the one manner there is too much of negligence30, so in the other there may be too{329} much of care. The “perhaps I might as wells,”—so good is Providence,—are sometimes more successful than those careful, long-pondering heroes. The old parson was very sweet to Alice, believing that she would be his daughter-in-law, and so was Miss Rossiter, thoroughly approving of such a sister. But Mrs. Rossiter was a little cold;—all of which Alice could read plainly and digest, without saying a word. If it was to be, she would welcome her happy lot with heartfelt acknowledgment of the happiness provided for her; but if it was not to be, no human being should know that she had sorrowed. There should be nothing lack-a-daisical in her life or conduct. She had her work to do, and she knew that as long as she did that, grief would not overpower her.
In her own house it was taken for granted that she was to “go,” in a manner that distressed31 her. “You’ll never be here to lengthen32 ’em,” said her stepmother to her, almost whining33, when there was a question as to flounces in certain juvenile34 petticoats which might require to be longer than they were first made before they should be finally abandoned.
“That I certainly shall if Tiny grows as she does now.”
“I suppose he’ll pop regularly when he next comes down,” said Mrs. Dugdale.
There was ever so much in this which annoyed Alice. In the first place, the word “pop” was to her abominable35. Then she was almost called upon to deny that he would “pop,” when in her heart she thought it{330} very probable that he might. And the word, she knew, had become intelligible36 to the eldest of her little sisters who was present. Moreover, she was most unwilling37 to discuss the subject at all, and could hardly leave it undiscussed when such direct questions were asked. “Mamma,” she said, “don’t let us think about anything of the kind.” This did not at all satisfy herself. She ought to have repudiated38 the lover altogether; and yet she could not bring herself to tell the necessary lie.
“I suppose he will come—some day,” said Minnie, the child old enough to understand the meaning of such coming.
“For men may come and men may go,
But I go on for ever,—for ever,”
said or sang Alice, with a pretence39 of drollery40, as she turned herself to her little sister. But even in her little song there was a purpose. Let any man come or let any man go, she would go on, at any rate apparently41 untroubled, in her walk of life.
“Of course he’ll take you away, and then what am I to do?” said Mrs. Dugdale moaning. It is sad enough for a girl thus to have her lover thrown in her face when she is by no means sure of her lover.
A day or two afterwards another word, much more painful, was said to her up at the parsonage. Into the parsonage she went frequently to show that there was nothing in her heart to prevent her visiting her old friends as had been her wont42.
“John will be down here next week,” said the parson,{331} whom she met on the gravel43 drive just at the hall door.
“How often he comes! What do they do at the Horse Guards, or wherever it is that he goes to?”
“He’ll be more steady when he has taken a wife,” said the old man.
“In the meantime what becomes of the cavalry?”
“I dare say you’ll know all about that before long,” said the parson laughing.
“Now, my dear, how can you be so foolish as to fill the girl’s head with nonsense of that kind?” said Mrs. Rossiter, who at that moment came out from the front door. “And you’re doing John an injustice44. You are making people believe that he has said that which he has not said.”
Alice at the moment was very angry,—as angry as she well could be. It was certain that Mrs. Rossiter did not know what her son had said or had not said. But it was cruel that she who had put forward no claim, who had never been forward in seeking her lover, should be thus almost publicly rebuked45. Quiet as she wished to be, it was necessary that she should say one word in her own defence. “I don’t think Mr. Rossiter’s little joke will do John any injustice or me any harm,” she said. “But, as it may be taken seriously, I hope he will not repeat it.”
“He could not do better for himself. That’s my opinion,” said the old man, turning back into the house. There had been words before on the subject between him and his wife, and he was not well pleased with her at this moment.{332}
“My dear Alice, I am sure you know that I mean everything the best for you,” said Mrs. Rossiter.
“If nobody would mean anything, but just let me alone, that would be best. And as for nonsense, Mrs. Rossiter, don’t you know of me that I’m not likely to be carried away by foolish ideas of that kind?”
“I do know that you are very good.”
“Then why should you talk at me as though I were very bad?” Mrs. Rossiter felt that she had been reprimanded, and was less inclined than ever to accept Alice as a daughter-in-law.
Alice, as she walked home, was low in spirits, and angry with herself because it was so. People would be fools. Of course that was to be expected. She had known all along that Mrs. Rossiter wanted a grander wife for her son, whereas the parson was anxious to have her for his daughter-in-law. Of course she loved the parson better than his wife. But why was it that she felt at this moment that Mrs. Rossiter would prevail?
“Of course it will be so,” she said to herself. “I see it now. And I suppose he is right. But then certainly he ought not to have come here. But perhaps he comes because he wishes to—see Miss Wanless.” She went a little out of her road home, not only to dry a tear, but to rid herself of the effect of it, and then spent the remainder of the afternoon swinging her brothers and sisters in the garden.
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1
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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populous
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| adj.人口稠密的，人口众多的 | |
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fore
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| adv.在前面；adj.先前的；在前部的；n.前部 | |
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prospered
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| 成功，兴旺( prosper的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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succumb
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| v.屈服，屈从；死 | |
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6
warped
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| adj.反常的；乖戾的；（变）弯曲的；变形的v.弄弯，变歪( warp的过去式和过去分词 )；使（行为等）不合情理，使乖戾， | |
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7
joint
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| adj.联合的，共同的；n.关节，接合处；v.连接，贴合 | |
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8
tattered
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| adj.破旧的，衣衫破的 | |
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9
thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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10
prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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fixture
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| n.固定设备；预定日期；比赛时间；定期存款 | |
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binding
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| 有约束力的，有效的，应遵守的 | |
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provocation
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| n.激怒，刺激，挑拨，挑衅的事物，激怒的原因 | |
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vista
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| n.远景，深景，展望，回想 | |
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discomfort
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| n.不舒服，不安，难过，困难，不方便 | |
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eldest
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| adj.最年长的，最年老的 | |
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entice
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| v.诱骗，引诱，怂恿 | |
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18
warrior
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| n.勇士，武士，斗士 | |
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surmised
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| v.臆测，推断( surmise的过去式和过去分词 )；揣测；猜想 | |
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approbation
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| n.称赞；认可 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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grudge
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| n.不满，怨恨，妒嫉；vt.勉强给，不情愿做 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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26
eloquence
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| n.雄辩；口才，修辞 | |
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27
persuasion
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| n.劝说；说服；持有某种信仰的宗派 | |
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inspector
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| n.检查员，监察员，视察员 | |
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29
cavalry
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| n.骑兵；轻装甲部队 | |
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negligence
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| n.疏忽，玩忽，粗心大意 | |
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31
distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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32
lengthen
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| vt.使伸长，延长 | |
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33
whining
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| n. 抱怨，牢骚 v. 哭诉，发牢骚 | |
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34
juvenile
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| n.青少年，少年读物；adj.青少年的，幼稚的 | |
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35
abominable
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| adj.可厌的，令人憎恶的 | |
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36
intelligible
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| adj.可理解的，明白易懂的，清楚的 | |
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37
unwilling
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| adj.不情愿的 | |
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38
repudiated
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| v.（正式地）否认( repudiate的过去式和过去分词 )；拒绝接受；拒绝与…往来；拒不履行（法律义务） | |
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39
pretence
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| n.假装，作假；借口，口实；虚伪；虚饰 | |
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40
drollery
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| n.开玩笑，说笑话；滑稽可笑的图画（或故事、小戏等） | |
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41
apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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42
wont
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| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
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43
gravel
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| n.砂跞；砂砾层；结石 | |
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44
injustice
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| n.非正义，不公正，不公平，侵犯（别人的）权利 | |
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45
rebuked
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| 责难或指责( rebuke的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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