"Have you heard," said he,—speaking in a voice hardly above a whisper, although no third person was in the room,—"that Harry is again thinking of making Julia his wife?"
"He is not thinking of doing so," said Mrs. Clavering. "They who say so, do him wrong."
"It would be a great thing for him as regards money."
"But he is engaged,—and Florence Burton has been received here as his future wife. I could not endure to think that it should be so. At any rate, it is not true."
"I only tell you what I heard," said the rector, gently sighing, partly in obedience5 to his wife's implied rebuke6, and partly at the thought that so grand a marriage should not be within his son's reach. The rector was beginning to be aware that Harry would hardly make a fortune at the profession which he had chosen, and that a rich marriage would be an easy way out of all the difficulties which such a failure promised. The rector was a man who dearly loved easy ways out of difficulties. But in such matters as these his wife he knew was imperative7 and powerful, and he lacked the courage to plead for a cause that was prudent8, but ungenerous.
When Mrs. Clavering received the letter and parcel on the next morning, Harry Clavering was still in bed. With the delightful9 privilege of a convalescent invalid10, he was allowed in these days to get up just when getting up became more comfortable than lying in bed, and that time did not usually come till eleven o'clock was past;—but the postman reached the Clavering parsonage by nine. The letter, as we know, was addressed to Mrs. Clavering herself, as was also the outer envelope which contained the packet; but the packet itself was addressed in Florence's clear handwriting to Harry Clavering, Esq. "That is a large parcel to come by post, mamma," said Fanny.
"Yes, my dear; but it is something particular."
"It's from some tradesman, I suppose?" said the rector.
"No; it's not from a tradesman," said Mrs. Clavering. But she said nothing further, and both husband and daughter perceived that it was not intended that they should ask further questions.
Fanny, as usual, had taken her brother his breakfast, and Mrs. Clavering did not go up to him till that ceremony had been completed and removed. Indeed it was necessary that she should study Florence's letter in her own room before she could speak to him about it. What the parcel contained she well knew, even before the letter had been thoroughly11 read; and I need hardly say that the treasure was sacred in her hands. When she had finished the perusal12 of the letter there was a tear,—a gentle tear, in each eye. She understood it all, and could fathom13 the strength and weakness of every word which Florence had written. But she was such a woman,—exactly such a woman,—as Cecilia Burton had pictured to herself. Mrs. Clavering was good enough, great enough, true enough, clever enough to know that Harry's love for Florence should be sustained, and his fancy for Lady Ongar overcome. At no time would she have been proud to see her son prosperous only in the prosperity of a wife's fortune; but she would have been thoroughly ashamed of him, had he resolved to pursue such prosperity under his present circumstances.
But her tears,—though they were there in the corners of her eyes,—were not painful tears. Dear Florence! She was suffering bitterly now. This very day would be a day of agony to her. There had been for her, doubtless, many days of agony during the past month. That the letter was true in all its words Mrs. Clavering did not doubt. That Florence believed that all was over between her and Harry, Mrs. Clavering was as sure as Florence had intended that she should be. But all should not be over, and the days of agony should soon be at an end. Her boy had promised her, and to her he had always been true. And she understood, too, the way in which these dangers had come upon him, and her judgment14 was not heavy upon her son;—her gracious boy, who had ever been so good to her! It might be that he had been less diligent15 at his work than he should have been,—that on that account further delay would still be necessary; but Florence would forgive that, and he had promised that Florence should not be deserted.
Then she took the parcel in her hands, and considered all its circumstances,—how precious had once been its contents, and how precious doubtless they still were, though they had been thus repudiated16! And she thought of the moments,—nay, rather of the hours,—which had been passed in the packing of that little packet. She well understood how a girl would linger over such dear pain, touching17 the things over and over again, allowing herself to read morsels18 of the letters at which she had already forbidden herself even to look,—till every word had been again seen and weighed, again caressed19 and again abjured20. She knew how those little trinkets would have been fondled! How salt had been the tears that had fallen on them, and how carefully the drops would have been removed. Every fold in the paper of the two envelopes, with the little morsels of wax just adequate for their purpose, told of the lingering painful care with which the work had been done. Ah! the parcel should go back at once with words of love that should put an end to all that pain! She, who had sent these loved things away, should have her letters again, and should touch her little treasures with fingers that should take pleasure in the touching. She should again read her lover's words with an enduring delight. Mrs. Clavering understood it all, as though she also were still a girl with a lover of her own.
Harry was beginning to think that the time had come in which getting up would be more comfortable than lying in bed, when his mother knocked at his door and entered his room. "I was just going to make a move, mother," he said, having reached that stage of convalescence21 in which some shame comes upon the idler.
"But I want to speak to you first, my dear," said Mrs. Clavering. "I have got a letter for you, or rather a parcel." Harry held out his hand, and taking the packet, at once recognized the writing of the address.
"You know from whom it comes, Harry?"
"Oh, yes, mother."
"And do you know what it contains?" Harry, still holding the packet, looked at it, but said nothing. "I know," said his mother; "for she has written and told me. Will you see her letter to me?" Again Harry held out his hand, but his mother did not at once give him the letter. "First of all, my dear, let us know that we understand each other. This dear girl,—to me she is inexpressibly dear,—is to be your wife?"
"Yes, mother;—it shall be so."
The sheep returns to the fold.
The sheep returns to the fold.
Click to ENLARGE
"That is my own boy! Harry, I have never doubted you;—have never doubted that you would be right at last. Now you shall see her letter. But you must remember that she has had cause to make her unhappy."
"I will remember."
"Had you not been ill, everything would of course have been all right before now." As to the correctness of this assertion the reader probably will have doubts of his own. Then she handed him the letter, and sat on his bed-side while he read it. At first he was startled, and made almost indignant at the firmness of the girl's words. She gave him up as though it were a thing quite decided22, and uttered no expression of her own regret in doing so. There was no soft woman's wail23 in her words. But there was in them something which made him unconsciously long to get back the thing which he had so nearly thrown away from him. They inspired him with a doubt whether he might yet succeed, which very doubt greatly increased his desire. As he read the letter for the second time, Julia became less beautiful in his imagination, and the charm of Florence's character became stronger.
"Well, dear?" said his mother, when she saw that he had finished the second reading of the epistle.
He hardly knew how to express, even to his mother, all his feelings,—the shame that he felt, and with the shame something of indignation that he should have been so repulsed24. And of his love, too, he was afraid to speak. He was willing enough to give the required assurance, but after that he would have preferred to have been left alone. But his mother could not leave him without some further word of agreement between them as to the course which they would pursue.
"Will you write to her, mother, or shall I?"
"I shall write, certainly,—by to-day's post. I would not leave her an hour, if I could help it, without an assurance of your unaltered affection."
"I could go to town to-morrow, mother;—could I not?"
"Not to-morrow, Harry. It would be foolish. Say on Monday."
"And you will write to-day?"
"Certainly."
"I will send a line also,—just a line."
"And the parcel?"
"I have not opened it yet."
"You know what it contains. Send it back at once, Harry;—at once. If I understand her feelings, she will not be happy till she gets it into her hands again. We will send Jem over to the post-office, and have it registered."
When so much was settled, Mrs. Clavering went away about the affairs of her house, thinking as she did so of the loving words with which she would strive to give back happiness to Florence Burton.
Harry, when he was alone, slowly opened the parcel. He could not resist the temptation of doing this, and of looking again at the things which she had sent back to him. And he was not without an idea,—perhaps a hope—that there might be with them some short note,—some scrap25 containing a few words for himself. If he had any such hope he was disappointed. There were his own letters, all scented26 with lavender from the casket in which they had been preserved; there was the rich bracelet27 which had been given with some little ceremony, and the cheap brooch which he had thrown to her as a joke, and which she had sworn that she would value the most of all because she could wear it every day; and there was the pencil-case which he had fixed28 on to her watch-chain, while her fingers were touching his fingers, caressing29 him for his love while her words were rebuking30 him for his awkwardness. He remembered it all as the things lay strewed31 upon his bed. And he re-read every word of his own words. "What a fool a man makes of himself," he said to himself at last, with something of the cheeriness of laughter about his heart. But as he said so he was quite ready to make himself a fool after the same fashion again,—if only there were not in his way that difficulty of recommencing. Had it been possible for him to write again at once in the old strain,—without any reference to his own conduct during the last month, he would have begun his fooling without waiting to finish his dressing32.
"Did you open the parcel?" his mother asked him, some hour or so before it was necessary that Jem should be started on his mission.
"Yes; I thought it best to open it."
"And have you made it up again?"
"Not yet, mother."
"Put this with it, dear." And his mother gave him a little jewel, a cupid in mosaic33 surrounded by tiny diamonds, which he remembered her to wear ever since he had first noticed the things she had worn. "Not from me, mind. I give it to you. Come;—will you trust me to pack them?" Then Mrs. Clavering again made up the parcel, and added the trinket which she had brought with her.
Harry at last brought himself to write a few words. "Dearest, dearest Florence,—They will not let me out, or I would go to you at once. My mother has written, and though I have not seen her letter, I know what it contains. Indeed, indeed you may believe it all. May I not venture to return the parcel? I do send it back and implore34 you to keep it. I shall be in town, I think, on Monday, and will go to Onslow Crescent,—instantly. Your own, H. C." Then there was scrawled35 a postscript36 which was worth all the rest put together,—was better than his own note, better than his mother's letter, better than the returned packet. "I love no one better than you;—no one half so well,—neither now, nor ever did." These words, whether wholly true or only partially37 so, were at least to the point; and were taken by Cecilia Burton, when she heard of them, as a confession38 of faith that demanded instant and plenary absolution.
The trouble which had called Harry down to Clavering remained, I regret to say, almost in full force now that his prolonged visit had been brought so near its close. Mr. Saul, indeed, had agreed to resign his curacy, and was already on the look-out for similar employment in some other parish. And since his interview with Fanny's father he had never entered the rectory, or spoken to Fanny. Fanny had promised that there should be no such speaking, and indeed no danger of that kind was feared. Whatever Mr. Saul might do he would do openly,—nay, audaciously. But though there existed this security, nevertheless things as regarded Fanny were very unpleasant. When Mr. Saul had commenced his courtship, she had agreed with her family in almost ridiculing39 the idea of such a lover. There had been a feeling with her as with the others that poor Mr. Saul was to be pitied. Then she had come to regard his overtures40 as matters of grave import,—not indeed avowing41 to her mother anything so strong as a return of his affection, but speaking of his proposal as one to which there was no other objection than that of a want of money. Now, however, she went moping about the house as though she were a victim of true love, condemned42 to run unsmoothly for ever; as though her passion for Mr. Saul were too much for her, and she were waiting in patience till death should relieve her from the cruelty of her parents. She never complained. Such victims never do complain. But she moped and was wretched, and when her mother questioned her, struggling to find out how strong this feeling might in truth be, Fanny would simply make her dutiful promises,—promises which were wickedly dutiful,—that she would never mention the name of Mr. Saul any more. Mr. Saul in the meantime went about his parish duties with grim energy, supplying the rector's shortcomings without a word. He would have been glad to preach all the sermons and read all the services during these six months, had he been allowed to do so. He was constant in the schools,—more constant than ever in his visitings. He was very courteous43 to Mr. Clavering when the necessities of their position brought them together. For all this Mr. Clavering hated him,—unjustly. For a man placed as Mr. Saul was placed a line of conduct exactly level with that previously44 followed is impossible, and it was better that he should become more energetic in his duties than less so. It will be easily understood that all these things interfered45 much with the general happiness of the family at the rectory at this time.
The Monday came, and Harry Clavering, now convalescent and simply interesting from the remaining effects of his illness, started on his journey for London. There had come no further letters from Onslow Terrace to the parsonage, and, indeed, owing to the intervention46 of Sunday, none could have come unless Florence had written by return of post. Harry made his journey, beginning it with some promise of happiness to himself,—but becoming somewhat uneasy as his train drew near to London. He had behaved badly, and he knew that in the first place he must own that he had done so. To men such a necessity is always grievous. Women not unfrequently like the task. To confess, submit, and be accepted as confessing and submitting, comes naturally to the feminine mind. The cry of peccavi sounds soft and pretty when made by sweet lips in a loving voice. But a man who can own that he has done amiss without a pang,—who can so own it to another man, or even to a woman,—is usually but a poor creature. Harry must now make such confession, and therefore he became uneasy. And then, for him, there was another task behind the one which he would be called upon to perform this evening,—a task which would have nothing of pleasantness in it to redeem47 its pain. He must confess not only to Florence,—where his confession might probably have its reward,—but he must confess also to Julia. This second confession would, indeed, be a hard task to him. That, however, was to be postponed48 till the morrow. On this evening he had pledged himself that he would go direct to Onslow Terrace; and this he did as soon after he had reached his lodgings49 as was possible. It was past six when he reached London, and it was not yet eight when, with palpitating heart, he knocked at Mr. Burton's door.
I must take the reader back with me for a few minutes, in order that we may see after what fashion the letters from Clavering were received by the ladies in Onslow Terrace. On that day Mr. Burton had been required to go out of London by one of the early trains, and had not been in the house when the postman came. Nothing had been said between Cecilia and Florence as to their hopes or fears in regard to an answer from Clavering;—nothing at least since that conversation in which Florence had agreed to remain in London for yet a few days; but each of them was very nervous on the matter. Any answer, if sent at once from Clavering, would arrive on this morning; and therefore, when the well-known knock was heard, neither of them was able to maintain her calmness perfectly50. But yet nothing was said, nor did either of them rise from her seat at the breakfast-table. Presently the girl came in with apparently51 a bundle of letters, which she was still sorting when she entered the room. There were two or three for Mr. Burton, two for Cecilia, and then two besides the registered packet for Florence. For that a receipt was needed, and as Florence had seen the address and recognized the writing, she was hardly able to give her signature. As soon as the maid was gone, Cecilia could keep her seat no longer. "I know those are from Clavering," she said, rising from her chair, and coming round to the side of the table. Florence instinctively52 swept the packet into her lap, and, leaning forward, covered the letters with her hands. "Oh, Florence, let us see them; let us see them at once. If we are to be happy let us know it." But Florence paused, still leaning over her treasures, and hardly daring to show her burning face. Even yet it might be that she was rejected. Then Cecilia went back to her seat, and simply looked at her sister with beseeching53 eyes. "I think I'll go upstairs," said Florence. "Are you afraid of me, Flo?" Cecilia answered reproachfully. "Let me see the outside of them." Then Florence brought them round the table, and put them into her sister's hands. "May I open this one from Mrs. Clavering?" Florence nodded her head. Then the seal was broken, and in one minute the two women were crying in each other's arms. "I was quite sure of it," said Cecilia, through her tears,—"perfectly sure. I never doubted it for a moment. How could you have talked of going to Stratton?" At last Florence got herself away up to the window, and gradually mustered54 courage to break the envelope of her lover's letter. It was not at once that she showed the postscript to Cecilia, nor at once that the packet was opened. That last ceremony she did perform in the solitude55 of her own room. But before the day was over the postscript had been shown, and the added trinket had been exhibited. "I remember it well," said Florence. "Mrs. Clavering wore it on her forehead when we dined at Lady Clavering's." Mrs. Burton in all this saw something of the gentle persuasion56 which the mother had used, but of that she said nothing. That he should be back again, and should have repented57, was enough for her.
Mr. Burton was again absent when Harry Clavering knocked in person at the door; but on this occasion his absence had been specially58 arranged by him with a view to Harry's comfort. "He won't want to see me this evening," he had said. "Indeed you'll all get on a great deal better without me." He therefore had remained away from home, and, not being a club man, had dined most uncomfortably at an eating-house. "Are the ladies at home?" Harry asked, when the door was opened. Oh, yes; they were at home. There was no danger that they should be found out on such an occasion as this. The girl looked at him pleasantly, calling him by his name as she answered him, as though she too desired to show him that he had again been taken into favour,—into her favour as well as that of her mistress.
He hardly knew what he was doing as he ran up the steps to the drawing-room. He was afraid of what was to come; but nevertheless he rushed at his fate as some young soldier rushes at the trench59 in which he feels that he may probably fall. So Harry Clavering hurried on, and before he had looked round upon the room which he had entered, found his fate with Florence on his bosom60.
Alas61, alas! I fear that justice was outraged62 in the welcome that Harry received on that evening. I have said that he would be called upon to own his sins, and so much, at least, should have been required of him. But he owned no sin! I have said that a certain degradation63 must attend him in that first interview after his reconciliation64. Instead of this the hours that he spent that evening in Onslow Terrace were hours of one long ovation65. He was, as it were, put upon a throne as a king who had returned from his conquest, and those two women did him honour, almost kneeling at his feet. Cecilia was almost as tender with him as Florence, pleading to her own false heart the fact of his illness as his excuse. There was something of the pallor of the sick-room left with him,—a slight tenuity in his hands and brightness in his eye which did him yeoman's service. Had he been quite robust66, Cecilia might have felt that she could not justify67 to herself the peculiar68 softness of her words. After the first quarter of an hour he was supremely69 happy. His awkwardness had gone, and as he sat with his arm round Florence's waist, he found that the little pencil-case had again been attached to her chain, and as he looked down upon her he saw that the cheap brooch was again on her breast. It would have been pretty, could an observer have been there, to see the skill with which they both steered70 clear of any word or phrase which could be disagreeable to him. One might have thought that it would have been impossible to avoid all touch of a rebuke. The very fact that he was forgiven would seem to imply some fault that required pardon. But there was no hint at any fault. The tact71 of women excels the skill of men; and so perfect was the tact of these women that not a word was said which wounded Harry's ear. He had come again into their fold, and they were rejoiced and showed their joy. He who had gone astray had repented, and they were beautifully tender to the repentant72 sheep.
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1
harry
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| vt.掠夺，蹂躏，使苦恼 | |
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deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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contented
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| adj.满意的，安心的，知足的 | |
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postponing
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| v.延期，推迟( postpone的现在分词 ) | |
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obedience
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| n.服从，顺从 | |
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rebuke
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| v.指责，非难，斥责 [反]praise | |
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imperative
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| n.命令，需要；规则；祈使语气；adj.强制的；紧急的 | |
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prudent
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| adj.谨慎的，有远见的，精打细算的 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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invalid
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| n.病人，伤残人；adj.有病的，伤残的；无效的 | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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perusal
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| n.细读，熟读；目测 | |
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fathom
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| v.领悟，彻底了解 | |
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judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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diligent
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| adj.勤勉的，勤奋的 | |
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repudiated
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| v.（正式地）否认( repudiate的过去式和过去分词 )；拒绝接受；拒绝与…往来；拒不履行（法律义务） | |
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touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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morsels
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| n.一口( morsel的名词复数 )；（尤指食物）小块，碎屑 | |
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caressed
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| 爱抚或抚摸…( caress的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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abjured
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| v.发誓放弃( abjure的过去式和过去分词 )；郑重放弃（意见）；宣布撤回（声明等）；避免 | |
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convalescence
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| n.病后康复期 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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wail
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| vt./vi.大声哀号，恸哭；呼啸，尖啸 | |
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repulsed
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| v.击退( repulse的过去式和过去分词 )；驳斥；拒绝 | |
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scrap
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| n.碎片；废料；v.废弃，报废 | |
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scented
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| adj.有香味的；洒香水的；有气味的v.嗅到(scent的过去分词) | |
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bracelet
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| n.手镯，臂镯 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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caressing
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| 爱抚的，表现爱情的，亲切的 | |
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rebuking
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| 责难或指责( rebuke的现在分词 ) | |
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strewed
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| v.撒在…上( strew的过去式和过去分词 )；散落于；点缀；撒满 | |
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dressing
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| n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料 | |
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mosaic
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| n./adj.镶嵌细工的，镶嵌工艺品的，嵌花式的 | |
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implore
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| vt.乞求，恳求，哀求 | |
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scrawled
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| 乱涂，潦草地写( scrawl的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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postscript
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| n.附言，又及；(正文后的)补充说明 | |
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partially
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| adv.部分地，从某些方面讲 | |
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confession
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| n.自白，供认，承认 | |
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ridiculing
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| v.嘲笑，嘲弄，奚落( ridicule的现在分词 ) | |
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overtures
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| n.主动的表示，提议；（向某人做出的）友好表示、姿态或提议( overture的名词复数 )；（歌剧、芭蕾舞、音乐剧等的）序曲，前奏曲 | |
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avowing
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| v.公开声明，承认( avow的现在分词 ) | |
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condemned
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| adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
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courteous
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| adj.彬彬有礼的，客气的 | |
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44
previously
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| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
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interfered
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| v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 )；调停；妨碍；干涉 | |
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intervention
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| n.介入，干涉，干预 | |
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redeem
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| v.买回，赎回，挽回，恢复，履行（诺言等） | |
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postponed
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| vt.& vi.延期，缓办，（使）延迟vt.把…放在次要地位；[语]把…放在后面（或句尾）vi.（疟疾等）延缓发作（或复发） | |
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lodgings
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| n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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beseeching
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| adj.恳求似的v.恳求，乞求（某事物）( beseech的现在分词 ) | |
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mustered
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| v.集合，召集，集结（尤指部队）( muster的过去式和过去分词 )；（自他人处）搜集某事物；聚集；激发 | |
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solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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persuasion
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| n.劝说；说服；持有某种信仰的宗派 | |
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repented
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| 对（自己的所为）感到懊悔或忏悔( repent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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specially
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| adv.特定地；特殊地；明确地 | |
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trench
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| n./v.(挖)沟，(挖)战壕 | |
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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outraged
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| a.震惊的，义愤填膺的 | |
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degradation
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| n.降级；低落；退化；陵削；降解；衰变 | |
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reconciliation
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| n.和解，和谐，一致 | |
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ovation
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| n.欢呼，热烈欢迎，热烈鼓掌 | |
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robust
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| adj.强壮的，强健的，粗野的，需要体力的，浓的 | |
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justify
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| vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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supremely
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| adv.无上地，崇高地 | |
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steered
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| v.驾驶( steer的过去式和过去分词 )；操纵；控制；引导 | |
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71
tact
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| n.机敏，圆滑，得体 | |
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repentant
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| adj.对…感到悔恨的 | |
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