"You told him so?"
"I did; and I think that he believed me. He knew that I was one who would act up to my word. I told him that Orley Farm should belong to our babe."
"And what did he say?"
"He bade me beware of my soul. My answer was very terrible, and I will not shock you with it. Ah me! it is easy to talk of repentance3, but repentance will not come with a word."
In these days Mrs. Orme became gradually aware that hitherto she had comprehended but little of Lady Mason's character. There was a power of endurance about her, and a courage that was almost awful to the mind of the weaker, softer, and better woman. Lady Mason, during her sojourn4 at The Cleeve, had seemed almost to sink under her misfortune; nor had there been any hypocrisy5, any pretence6 in her apparent misery7. She had been very wretched;—as wretched a human creature, we may say, as any crawling God's earth at that time. But she had borne her load, and, bearing it, had gone about her work, still striving with desperate courage as the ground on which she trod continued to give way beneath her feet, inch by inch. They had known and pitied her misery; they had loved her for misery—as it is in the nature of such people to do;—but they had little known how great had been the cause for it. They had sympathised with the female weakness which had succumbed8 when there was hardly any necessity for succumbing9. Had they then known all, they would have wondered at the strength which made a struggle possible under such circumstances.
Even now she would not yield. I have said that there had been no hypocrisy in her misery during those weeks last past; and I have said so truly. But there had perhaps been some pretences10, some acting11 of a part, some almost necessary pretence as to her weakness. Was she not bound to account to those around her for her great sorrow? And was it not above all things needful that she should enlist12 their sympathy and obtain their aid? She had been obliged to cry to them for help, though obliged also to confess that there was little reason for such crying. "I am a woman, and weak," she had said, "and therefore cannot walk alone, now that the way is stony13." But what had been the truth with her? How would she have cried, had it been possible for her to utter the sharp cry of her heart? The waters had been closing over her head, and she had clutched at a hand to save her; but the owner of that hand might not know how imminent14, how close was the danger.
But in these days, as she sat in her own room with Mrs. Orme, the owner of that hand might know everything. The secret had been told, and there was no longer need for pretence. As she could now expose to view the whole load of her wretchedness, so also could she make known the strength that was still left for endurance. And these two women who had become endeared to each other under such terrible circumstances, came together at these meetings with more of the equality of friendship than had ever existed at The Cleeve. It may seem strange that it should be so—strange that the acknowledged forger15 of her husband's will should be able to maintain a better claim for equal friendship than the lady who was believed to be innocent and true! But it was so. Now she stood on true ground;—now, as she sat there with Mrs. Orme, she could speak from her heart, pouring forth16 the real workings of her mind. From Mrs. Orme she had no longer aught to fear; nor from Sir Peregrine. Everything was known to them, and she could now tell of every incident of her crime with an outspoken17 boldness that in itself was incompatible19 with the humble20 bearing of an inferior in the presence of one above her.
And she did still hope. The one point to be gained was this; that her son, her only son, the child on whose behalf this crime had been committed, should never know her shame, or live to be disgraced by her guilt21. If she could be punished, she would say, and he left in ignorance of her punishment, she would not care what indignities22 they might heap upon her. She had heard of penal23 servitude, of years, terribly long, passed in all the misery of vile24 companionship; of solitary25 confinement26, and the dull madness which it engenders27; of all the terrors of a life spent under circumstances bearable only by the uneducated, the rude, and the vile. But all this was as nothing to her compared with the loss of honour to her son. "I should live," she would say; "but he would die. You cannot ask me to become his murderer!"
It was on this point that they differed always. Mrs. Orme would have had her confess everything to Lucius, and strove to make her understand that if he were so told, the blow would fall less heavily than it would do if the knowledge came to him from her conviction at the trial. But the mother would not bring herself to believe that it was absolutely necessary that he should ever know it. "There was the property! Yes; but let the trial come, and if she were acquitted28, then let some arrangement be made about that. The lawyers might find out some cause why it should be surrendered." But Mrs. Orme feared that if the trial were over, and the criminal saved from justice, the property would not be surrendered. And then how would that wish of repentance be possible? After all was not that the one thing necessary?
I will not say that Mrs. Orme in these days ever regretted that her sympathy and friendship had been thus bestowed29, but she frequently acknowledged to herself that the position was too difficult for her. There was no one whose assistance she could ask; for she felt that she could not in this matter ask counsel from Sir Peregrine. She herself was good, and pure, and straightminded, and simple in her perception of right and wrong; but Lady Mason was greater than she in force of character,—a stronger woman in every way, endowed with more force of will, with more power of mind, with greater energy, and a swifter flow of words. Sometimes she almost thought it would be better that she should stay away from Orley Farm; but then she had promised to be true to her wretched friend, and the mother's solicitude30 for her son still softened31 the mother's heart.
In these days, till the evening came, Lucius Mason never made his way into his mother's sitting-room32, which indeed was the drawing-room of the house,—and he and Mrs. Orme, as a rule, hardly ever met each other. If he saw her as she entered or left the place, he would lift his hat to her and pass by without speaking. He was not admitted to those councils of his mother's, and would not submit to ask after his mother's welfare or to inquire as to her affairs from a stranger. On no other subject was it possible that he should now speak to the daily visitor and the only visitor at Orley Farm. All this Mrs. Orme understood, and saw that the young man was alone and comfortless. He passed his hours below, in his own room, and twice a day his mother found him in the parlour, and then they sat through their silent, miserable33 meals. She would then leave him, always saying some soft words of motherly love, and putting her hand either upon his shoulder or his arm. On such occasions he was never rough to her, but he would never respond to her caress34. She had ill-treated him, preferring in her trouble the assistance of a stranger to his assistance. She would ask him neither for his money nor his counsel, and as she had thus chosen to stand aloof35 from him, he also would stand aloof from her. Not for always,—as he said to himself over and over again; for his heart misgave36 him when he saw the lines of care so plainly written on his mother's brow. Not for always should it be so. The day of the trial would soon be present, and the day of the trial would soon be over; then again would they be friends. Poor young man! Unfortunate young man!
Mrs. Orme saw all this, and to her it was very terrible. What would be the world to her, if her boy should frown at her, and look black when she caressed37 him? And she thought that it was the fault of the mother rather than of the son; as indeed was not all that wretchedness the mother's fault? But then again, there was the one great difficulty. How could any step be taken in the right direction till the whole truth had been confessed to him?
The two women were sitting together in that up stairs room; and the day of the trial was now not a full week distant from them, when Mrs. Orme again tried to persuade the mother to intrust her son with the burden of all her misery. On the preceding day Mr. Solomon Aram had been down at Orley Farm, and had been with Lady Mason for an hour.
"He knows the truth!" Lady Mason had said to her friend. "I am sure of that."
"But did he ask you?"
"Oh, no, he did not ask me that. He asked of little things that happened at the time; but from his manner I am sure he knows it all. He says—that I shall escape."
"Did he say escape?"
"No; not that word, but it was the same thing. He spoke18 to Lucius, for I saw them on the lawn together."
"You do not know what he said to him?"
"No; for Lucius would not speak to me, and I could not ask him." And then they both were silent, for Mrs. Orme was thinking how she could bring about that matter that was so near her heart. Lady Mason was seated in a large old-fashioned arm-chair, in which she now passed nearly all her time. The table was by her side, but she rarely turned herself to it. She sat leaning with her elbow on her arm, supporting her face with her hand; and opposite to her, so close that she might look into her face and watch every movement of her eyes, sat Mrs. Orme,—intent upon that one thing, that the woman before her should be brought to repent2 the evil she had done.
"And you have not spoken to Lucius?"
"No," she answered. "No more than I have told you. What could I say to him about the man?"
"Not about Mr. Aram. It might not be necessary to speak of him. He has his work to do; and I suppose that he must do it in his own way?"
"Yes; he must do it, in his own way. Lucius would not understand."
"Unless you told him everything, of course he could not understand."
"That is impossible."
"No, Lady Mason, it is not impossible. Dear Lady Mason, do not turn from me in that way. It is for your sake,—because I love you, that I press you to do this. If he knew it all—"
"Could you tell your son such a tale?" said Lady Mason, turning upon her sharply, and speaking almost with an air of anger.
Mrs. Orme was for a moment silenced, for she could not at once bring herself to conceive it possible that she could be so circumstanced. But at last she answered. "Yes," she said, "I think I could, if—." And then she paused.
"If you had done such a deed! Ah, you do not know, for the doing of it would be impossible to you. You can never understand what was my childhood, and how my young years were passed. I never loved anything but him;—that is, till I knew you, and—and—." But instead of finishing her sentence she pointed38 down towards The Cleeve. "How, then, can I tell him? Mrs. Orme, I would let them pull me to pieces, bit by bit, if in that way I could save him."
"Not in that way," said Mrs. Orme; "not in that way."
But Lady Mason went on pouring forth the pent-up feelings of her bosom39, not regarding the faint words of her companion. "Till he lay in my arms I had loved nothing. From my earliest years I had been taught to love money, wealth, and property; but as to myself the teachings had never come home to me. When they bade me marry the old man because he was rich, I obeyed them,—not caring for his riches, but knowing that it behoved me to relieve them of the burden of my support. He was kinder to me than they had been, and I did for him the best I could. But his money and his wealth were little to me. He told me over and over again that when he died I should have the means to live, and that was enough. I would not pretend to him that I cared for the grandeur40 of his children who despised me. But then came my baby, and the world was all altered for me. What could I do for the only thing that I had ever called my own? Money and riches they had told me were everything."
"But they had told you wrong," said Mrs. Orme, as she wiped the tears from her eyes.
"They had told me falsely. I had heard nothing but falsehoods from my youth upwards," she answered fiercely. "For myself I had not cared for these things; but why should not he have money and riches and land? His father had them to give over and above what had already made those sons and daughters so rich and proud. Why should not this other child also be his father's heir? Was he not as well born as they? was he not as fair a child? What did Rebekah do, Mrs. Orme? Did she not do worse; and did it not all go well with her? Why should my boy be an Ishmael? Why should I be treated as the bondwoman, and see my little one perish of thirst in this world's wilderness41?"
"And no Saviour had lived and died for me," said the wretched woman, almost shrieking43 in her despair. The lines of her face were terrible to be seen as she thus spoke, and an agony of anguish44 loaded her brow upon which Mrs. Orme was frightened to look. She fell on her knees before the wretched woman, and taking her by both her hands strove all she could to find some comfort for her.
"Ah, do not say so. Do not say that. Whatever may come, that misery—that worst of miseries45 need not oppress you. If that indeed were true!"
"It was true;—and how should it be otherwise?"
"But now,—now. It need not be true now. Lady Mason, for your soul's sake say that it is so now."
"Mrs. Orme," she said, speaking with a singular quiescence46 of tone after the violence of her last words, "it seems to me that I care more for his soul than for my own. For myself I can bear even that. But if he were a castaway—!"
I will not attempt to report the words that passed between them for the next half-hour, for they concerned a matter which I may not dare to handle too closely in such pages as these. But Mrs. Orme still knelt there at her feet, pressing Lady Mason's hands, pressing against her knees, as with all the eagerness of true affection she endeavoured to bring her to a frame of mind that would admit of some comfort. But it all ended in this:—Let everything be told to Lucius, so that the first step back to honesty might be taken,—and then let them trust to Him whose mercy can ever temper the wind to the shorn lamb.
But, as Lady Mason had once said to herself, repentance will not come with a word. "I cannot tell him," she said at last. "It is a thing impossible. I should die at his feet before the words were spoken."
"I will do it for you," said Mrs. Orme, offering from pure charity to take upon herself a task perhaps as heavy as any that a human creature could perform. "I will tell him."
"No, no," screamed Lady Mason, taking Mrs. Orme by both her arms as she spoke. "You will not do so: say that you will not. Remember your promise to me. Remember why it is that you know it all yourself."
"I will not, surely, unless you bid me," said Mrs. Orme.
"No, no; I do not bid you. Mind, I do not bid you. I will not have it done. Better anything than that, while it may yet be avoided. I have your promise; have I not?"
"Oh, yes; of course I should not do it unless you told me." And then, after some further short stay, during which but little was said, Mrs. Orme got up to go.
"You will come to me to-morrow," said Lady Mason.
"Yes, certainly," said Mrs. Orme.
"Because I feared that I had offended you."
"Oh, no; I will take no offence from you."
"You should not, for you know what I have to bear. You know, and no one else knows. Sir Peregrine does not know. He cannot understand. But you know and understand it all. And, Mrs. Orme, what you do now will be counted to you for great treasure,—for very great treasure. You are better than the Samaritan, for he went on his way. But you will stay till the last. Yes; I know you will stay." And the poor creature kissed her only friend;—kissed her hands and her forehead and her breast. Then Mrs. Orme went without speaking, for her heart was full, and the words would not come to her; but as she went she said to herself that she would stay till the last.
Standing47 alone on the steps before the front door she found Lucius Mason all alone, and some feeling moved her to speak a word to him as she passed. "I hope all this does not trouble you much, Mr. Mason," she said, offering her hand to him. She felt that her words were hypocritical as she was speaking them; but under such circumstances what else could she say to him?
"Well, Mrs. Orme, such an episode in one's family history does give one some trouble. I am unhappy,—very unhappy; but not too much so to thank you for your most unusual kindness to my poor mother." And then, having been so far encouraged by her speaking to him, he accompanied her round the house on to the lawn, from whence a path led away through a shrubbery on to the road which would take her by the village of Coldharbour to The Cleeve.
"Mr. Mason," she said, as they walked for a few steps together before the house, "do not suppose that I presume to interfere48 between you and your mother."
"You have a right to interfere now," he said.
"But I think you might comfort her if you would be more with her. Would it not be better if you could talk freely together about all this?"
"It would be better," he said; "but I fear that that is no longer possible. When this trial is over, and the world knows that she is innocent; when people shall see how cruelly she has been used—"
Mrs. Orme might not tell the truth to him, but she could with difficulty bear to hear him dwell thus confidently on hopes which were so false. "The future is in the hands of God, Mr. Mason; but for the present—"
"The present and the future are both in His hands, Mrs. Orme. I know my mother's innocence49, and would have done a son's part towards establishing it;—but she would not allow me. All this will soon be over now, and then, I trust, she and I will once again understand each other. Till then I doubt whether I shall be wise to interfere. Good morning, Mrs. Orme; and pray believe that I appreciate at its full worth all that you are doing for her." Then he again lifted his hat and left her.
Lady Mason from her window saw them as they walked together, and her heart for a moment misgave her. Could it be that her friend was treacherous50 to her? Was it possible that even now she was telling everything that she had sworn that she would not tell? Why were they two together, seeing that they passed each other day by day without intercourse51? And so she watched with anxious eyes till they parted, and then she saw that Lucius stood idly on the terrace swinging his stick as he looked down the hill towards the orchard52 below him. He would not have stood thus calmly had he already heard his mother's shame. This she knew, and having laid aside her immediate53 fears she retreated back to her chair. No; she would not tell him: at any rate till the trial should be over.
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1
iniquity
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| n.邪恶；不公正 | |
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repent
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| v.悔悟，悔改，忏悔，后悔 | |
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repentance
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| n.懊悔 | |
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sojourn
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| v./n.旅居，寄居；逗留 | |
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hypocrisy
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| n.伪善，虚伪 | |
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pretence
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| n.假装，作假；借口，口实；虚伪；虚饰 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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succumbed
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| 不再抵抗（诱惑、疾病、攻击等）( succumb的过去式和过去分词 )； 屈从； 被压垮； 死 | |
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succumbing
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| 不再抵抗（诱惑、疾病、攻击等）( succumb的现在分词 )； 屈从； 被压垮； 死 | |
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pretences
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| n.假装( pretence的名词复数 )；作假；自命；自称 | |
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acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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12
enlist
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| vt.谋取(支持等)，赢得；征募；vi.入伍 | |
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stony
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| adj.石头的，多石头的，冷酷的，无情的 | |
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imminent
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| adj.即将发生的，临近的，逼近的 | |
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forger
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| v.伪造；n.（钱、文件等的）伪造者 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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outspoken
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| adj.直言无讳的，坦率的，坦白无隐的 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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incompatible
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| adj.不相容的，不协调的，不相配的 | |
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humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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guilt
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| n.犯罪；内疚；过失，罪责 | |
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indignities
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| n.侮辱，轻蔑( indignity的名词复数 ) | |
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penal
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| adj.刑罚的；刑法上的 | |
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vile
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| adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的 | |
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solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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confinement
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| n.幽禁，拘留，监禁；分娩；限制，局限 | |
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engenders
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| v.产生（某形势或状况），造成，引起( engender的第三人称单数 ) | |
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acquitted
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| 宣判…无罪( acquit的过去式和过去分词 )； 使（自己）作出某种表现 | |
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bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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solicitude
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| n.焦虑 | |
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softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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sitting-room
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| n.（BrE）客厅，起居室 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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caress
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| vt./n.爱抚，抚摸 | |
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aloof
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| adj.远离的；冷淡的，漠不关心的 | |
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misgave
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| v.使（某人的情绪、精神等）疑虑，担忧，害怕( misgive的过去式 ) | |
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caressed
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| 爱抚或抚摸…( caress的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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grandeur
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| n.伟大，崇高，宏伟，庄严，豪华 | |
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wilderness
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| n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等，荒漠 | |
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saviour
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| n.拯救者，救星 | |
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shrieking
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| v.尖叫( shriek的现在分词 ) | |
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44
anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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miseries
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| n.痛苦( misery的名词复数 )；痛苦的事；穷困；常发牢骚的人 | |
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quiescence
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| n.静止 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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interfere
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| v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰 | |
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innocence
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| n.无罪；天真；无害 | |
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50
treacherous
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| adj.不可靠的，有暗藏的危险的；adj.背叛的，背信弃义的 | |
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51
intercourse
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| n.性交；交流，交往，交际 | |
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52
orchard
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| n.果园，果园里的全部果树，(美俚)棒球场 | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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