Leaning on my beam, I looked out into the night. It was a beautiful winter night, dreamy and peaceful. A vague gleam of moonlight hovered2 over the serene3 space, touching4 the fleecy clouds which were floating in the sky. And yet everything was sad with an infinite sadness.
From the summit on which I was perched, I looked out on every side on an immense horizon, and on every side it was a desert of death and desolation. In front of me were the Germans. Five hundred yards separated us from their outposts and that was the only side where there was no water. To the right, to the left, and behind us was the inundation5, a great humid street, which, as far as the eye could see, shone strangely under the wan6 moonbeams, a weird7 shroud8, covering, in its icy folds, thousands of corpses10 buried in the mud. Here and there, a dark spot could be seen in the water. It was all that remained of a farm, a charred11, crumbling12 skeleton, or there was a dead beast breaking through the winding-sheet, or a human corpse9 turning its grimacing14 face to the moon. There were two, not far away from me, that I knew well.[Pg 300] For some months, they had been my daily companions. The first one was a German with a ravaged15 face, showing all its teeth in a horrible grin. The other one was a Belgian. Only the face emerged and the water splashed round it, leaving green shreds16 on its grey cheeks. A dark bird was poised17 on its nose, pecking at its gnawed18 eye sockets19. Oh, shades of heroes! Can the glory that surrounds you with its halo not cover the remains20 of your poor profaned21 bodies?
There was a deadly calm and the cold wind made the trembling reeds rustle22. Every breeze brought me a whiff of fulsome23 decay. Nothing broke the silence, except the funereal24 croaking25 of the birds of prey26 and the wail27 of the sea-gulls, which kept hovering28 in long flights over the deserted29 space. Oh, the sadness and the infamy30 of war! This then is your work, oh brutal31 and barbarous force, the rights of which men dare in our days still affirm and glorify32!
Presently, some stealthy footsteps were to be heard. It was the guard being relieved. On the long footbridge, which was all that united our men with the outpost, a line of silent figures passed. A flash was to be seen, lighting33 up the darkness, and this was immediately followed by about twenty shots. The troop passed underneath34 my observation post. There was a fresh flash, and a bullet struck the wall under my feet. There was a cry followed by a long groan35. It was a wounded man. He was carried away and the others went on to occupy the trenches36.
Our order here had been to hold out to the very death. Retreat was impossible anyhow. To be convinced of this, one had only to look at the immense[Pg 301] stretch of water which separated us from our first lines, that dark band in the distant horizon.
The change of guard was scarcely finished when I heard a well-known strain coming from afar. It was a "saucepan" on its way: "Ou-o?-ou-o?!..." It was a fifteen calibre.
"Boom!" It exploded five yards away from me, covering me with mud. It was the moment when every man crouches38 down in his shelter, but, for the observer, it was the moment to see something and to get up higher, if possible, in order to gaze out at the land around. A second shot was to be heard and, so far, I had seen nothing. An infernal noise shook the building under me. That was charming. I sent my two aids to get under cover and I fixed39 a certain spot in the darkness. Ah, there was a gleam of light. Quick, I had to place it, whilst the projectile40 was on its way. This was aimed too far. It passed like a whirlwind over my head. Quick with the telephone! Good, we are going to reply. Thirty seconds later, a volley started from us, and now the concert began in earnest. An enemy battery answered our firing. On our side, a second one was brought into action, and this bombarded the German post in front of me. Presently, there was a deafening41 noise on all sides. I could no longer hear the German projectiles42, but red flashes and formidable shocks warned me that we were coming in for it.
I shouted my observations to the telephonist, who could scarcely hear me a storey lower. Finally the battery which was firing on us was reduced to silence. Others went on firing, but slackened down and, at the end of an hour, there was dead silence again, broken only by bullets which, from[Pg 302] one trench37 to the other, were fired in search of victims.
When my time had expired, I went down below and was surprised to see my brave Liénart at the side of the ladder. He had been observing too. Instead of getting under cover, during the storm, he had come up to help in case of need. As to the telephonist, Cornez, I found him crouching43 down near his apparatus44. "No chance of going to sleep here!" he said, on seeing me. And as it was his turn, he went up to take my place.
I threw myself down on my "flea45 sack" (the name answered to the reality in this case) and I slept the sleep of the observer, which had now become a habit with me. That is, I had one ear closed and the other listening to every sound. I kept my boots on, my pistol and cartridge46 case at my side, and my carbine within reach.
Suddenly, a bullet passed quite near, with that special click peculiar47 to shots fired at a short distance. A volley of shots then came, flattening48 themselves against the walls. We were all quickly on the alert. I went to look out at the observation post. It was probably an enemy patrol wandering about. Three men offered to go out in search of this and quickly started off, crawling along in the darkness. A few shots were exchanged and then all was quiet. The German patrol had withdrawn49.
When I returned to my post, I felt suddenly chilly50. I lighted a few pieces of wood in my brick oven and cooked three sweet potatoes over the cinders51. This had been our usual meal since we had been at this observation post.
[Pg 303]
Gradually, whilst the wood was crackling and Cornez, who had been relieved, was snoring near me, I began to think of my home and of my old parents, who were watching and waiting so far away. I thought, too, of the beloved convent which I had left for this war, and of the strange contrast between this adventurous52 life and the serene life of the cloister53.
For five months, we had been going from ruin to ruin in the midst of the inundation, trying to find a fresh post among the putrid54 waters, as soon as the shells had reduced the preceding one to a heap of ruins. A hundred times death had hovered over us, and a hundred times shells had paid us their gracious visits, in the very rooms in which we were living. It was all in vain, though, for we were "vaccinated55."
As to our diet, it was worthy56 of Robinson Crusoe. What did it all matter! We were inured57 now to hunger, thirst, cold, and weariness. The worst of everything was the rain. It was all in vain that we struggled to protect our shelter. The bombardment soon played havoc58 with the roof and then the water was hopeless. It was no use thinking of sleep. drop by drop, the rain would first come through a crack in the ceiling.... "Toc!... toc!... toc!" ... We would put a basin down for it. A second little streamlet would commence. Down would go our saucepan for that. Then other streamlets would begin, and we would follow them all up with receptacles. We changed the places of our mattresses59. It was all in vain, as very soon the deluge60 began again. Among all this ceaseless spotting, each drop competed with the other in making the clearest sound and the quickest drip: "Ticlictacpictoctoc"....
"Tu-u-u-u-?!" the one in the middle would say, for[Pg 304] it had suddenly found a way to make one steady stream. That one certainly deserved the prize, and we gave it the honour of having the big saucepan to receive it. Finally, we resigned ourselves to the inevitable61. We had our feet in a pool, water on our clothes, water on our heads, gradually dripping down our necks, and our mattresses full of water. There was only one thing left for us to do, and that was to put on our big coats and to let it go on raining, to shut our eyes and dream (with the joyful62 concert of the drip, drip going on) of all that life has that is beautiful, great, and good, provided all this be consecrated63 to some holy cause.
Just as dawn was appearing, I had an agreeable visit in my lonely hermitage. My old comrade, Lieutenant64 de W——, had come here to observe in his turn. He was accompanied by his two faithful followers65, Quartermaster Snysters, an old Antwerp friend, who had gone through the Retreat with me, and Gunner Frentzen. How am I to describe Frentzen? Imagine a tall, bony, roughly-hewn Flemish man of six feet, with a surly look and two small, keen eyes, constantly lighting up with a smile. Frentzen had been taken prisoner by the Germans. The first night, he went and found the sentinel, killed him with his fists, and then, smoking his pipe, returned calmly to his Lieutenant. My two Flemish friends are inseparable. They insult each other from morning to night and are always in search of some adventurous exploit. They go roving about in the midst of the inundations, right to the outposts, under the very noses of the Boches.
The newcomers received a hearty66 welcome and de W—— and I stirred up, not only the fire, but all our[Pg 305] old memories, by way of cheering ourselves. Whilst we were chatting, his two companions had been laying their plans. Frentzen came ambling67 up to us, scratching the back of his neck.
"Lieutenant," he began, "if we could just have a look in at the little farm over yonder?"
"The farm? That one? Why, it's full of Boches."
De W—— and I roared with laughter at his expression.
Snysters favoured me with a wink70 that was full of eloquence71 and shrugged72 his shoulders slightly, and the two men set out on their expedition.
An hour later they returned, wet through, covered with mud, and accusing each other of being milksops, cowards, and using various other complimentary73 epithets74, such as only the Flemish language can render with sufficient emphasis. Frentzen's pocket had been pierced by a bullet. Snysters had had one through his cap. A minute or two later, Snysters went out of the room and Frentzen came a few steps nearer and remarked, confidentially75:
"Lieutenant, Snysters, he doesn't know what it means to be afraid of anything, but he's a bit...."
"You understand, Lieutenant."
"Yes, yes, I know him well."
Frentzen went away and when Snysters came back, he drew his chair up and remarked:
"Lieutenant, that Frentzen's a chap with plenty of nerve, but," hereupon he tapped his forehead with[Pg 306] a knowing expression, "a bit touched here, you know."
"Yes, yes, I know...."
A little while later, they went off again, arm in arm, insulting each other more than ever, but on the lookout77 for fresh adventures.
The bombardment recommenced at an early hour. It began with volleys of 77's, those miserable78, ridiculous 77's. They come along as though they are going to smash everything before them, and they finish with a poor little "petch" and a bit of pipe smoke.
Parturiunt montes, nascetur ridiculus mus.
Cornez, my youngster from Liége, gave a whistling accompaniment. Presently the song changed and the 105 arrived. The planks79 of wood which served as window-shutters were flung inside the room. In front of the building, the footbridge was pulverised. That was the fifth time this had happened. There would be no chance of going outside and keeping our feet dry now. Our guns answered.
I looked out at the firing zone and was pleased to see that the enemy battery was well encircled. It continued in spite of this, and as a matter of fact, we were no less encircled than they were.
I went downstairs to go to the telephone. I was only just there, when a formidable explosion flung a whole collection of bricks and rubbish behind me and I was in the midst of a cloud of dust. I looked up and saw that there was nothing left of my observation post. A huge breach80 in the wall showed where the brutal visitor had just entered. De W—— came running to me, delighted to see me whole.
"I fancy there are too many prayers being said[Pg 307] for you," he remarked, "for the shells to be able to touch you."
"I have been vaccinated," I replied.
After all this, we had a good night's work before us, as we were obliged to build the place up again. And that was not all. That satanic 105 was warming up with its work. The footbridge was smashed in several places. It would be difficult for the relief at night, and, by way of a climax81, the telephone was silent, as the wire was cut. Good, we were completely isolated82 from the rest of the world. For the moment there was nothing to be done, so we sat down and began talking, knowing that there was every possibility of our conversation finishing up above, in the presence of St. Peter.
Towards noon, there was a lull83 and we were able to repair the telephone wire. As soon as we were in communication once more with our comrades in the rear, the first thing they asked was whether we were all dead.
We then cooked some more sweet potatoes, put the platform up again, and then the fête began once more, and this time continued until night.
Just when it was beginning to grow dark, our telephone wires broke again. We were now getting volleys of shrapnel, which continued all the time, covering the ground with hurricanes of lead and iron. This foreshadowed an attack. I thought I would go and have a look at the trenches. I kept slipping on the mud and went splashing through pools of water and tumbling into holes, made recently by the shells, whilst overhead the wretched volleys kept bursting with their sharp, dry din13 and, at my feet, the bullets pierced the ground.
[Pg 308]
In front of us, nothing could be seen moving. The Lieutenant in command of this post was on his guard, as he expected an attack. The night was getting quickly heavy and dark, so that very soon we could distinguish nothing ten yards away from us. Nothing could be seen at all but the weird flashes which kept lighting up the darkness on all sides, and these seemed to be getting more and more furious. "There is nothing to fear, at present," I said to my comrade, "but as soon as the firing slackens, we must keep a sharp lookout."
"Lieutenant, Lieutenant!" I suddenly heard from my post.
"What is the matter?"
"Come quick!"
I returned as quickly as possible. There was no light, but a huge hole in the ceiling which let in the cold air. On the floor, among all the rubbish, lay a man. I turned my light on the face and saw that it was my brave friend, Snysters. He was covered with blood which was still smoking; a huge fragment of shell had pierced his heart. I examined him to see whether he were really dead and I offered up a prayer to God for his heroic soul. I then went in search of the others. They had taken refuge in a trench. De W. was wounded in the wrist. Cornez was still dazed by the commotion84, and Frentzen was growling85 and swearing in a low voice.
Towards 9 o'clock, the bombardment suddenly slackened and the Germans extended their firing range. A minute later, there was shooting from our trenches, and the Germans fired back from quite near[Pg 309] to us. Our shooting then became hurried and agitated87. Attention now for the attack! I took a fuse and then went to our line. What was the meaning of the disorder88? We were just being relieved. "Halt! let no one move until further orders. Every man in the trenches."
I met the fresh commander of the post and we concerted for a few seconds. Whilst he threw a fuse from the trench to the left, I was to look out with my field-glasses at the trench to the right, which appeared to be the one threatened. The fuse was thrown and the whole country round was bathed in a bright light. There was nothing to be seen. Not a man appeared. But as I knew every detail of the land by heart, I could distinguish, thirty yards in front of us, a long line of little heaps that had been newly made.
The Boches were hollowing out the ground and were burying themselves ready for the assault. I stopped the firing and ordered absolute silence. In the midst of the darkness, we could then hear distinctly the rough, brief orders that the Commander of the attack was giving in a low voice. Ah, the rascals89, they had come as near to us as that! Good, we will give them something for their trouble. With the agreement of the officer in command, I had one of the two machine-guns brought from the other salient. I then looked out again with my field-glasses; a faint moonbeam now lighted up the ground. I could see the little heaps and also the spades that were moving the earth. Presently a shadow could be seen standing90 up and then two, three, ten figures. I indicated the spot to the gunner and he took aim.
"Fire!"
The horrible engine of war did its work and, in a[Pg 310] trice, it had mown down all these figures. Five minutes later, some more figures rose and these too were brought down by the machine-gun. An enemy machine-gun now replied to us, but, fortunately, it fired too high and too much to the left. For three hours, we kept this game up. The Germans were nailed to the ground, and each time they attempted to get up, they were swept down again by our firing. Finally, they retired91 and disappeared, crawling along in the darkness.
We then went back to our post. A never-to-be-forgotten sight awaited us there. Snysters was lying in the middle of the room. His face was turned to the sky and he was sleeping his long sleep under a beam of light. Just above his head, by the gaping92 breach in the ceiling, the moon shed a white ray which surrounded his face with a halo of glory. It looked very pure and very peaceful, and left all the rest of his body hidden in dense93 darkness. I have never seen a finer mortuary than the one which the heavens had thus raised to this martyr94 to his country. And it seemed to me that the soul of the hero had risen gloriously, in this beautiful ray of light, to the kingdom above.
An hour later, the body was taken away. Frentzen wrapped it in his own cloak, because it was a better one than that of the dead man, and he carried it out alone. Whilst he was digging a grave, swearing all the time between his teeth, I noticed that he kept furtively95 wiping away his tears.
When he had finished his task, he came back to me.
"Lieutenant," he said, "I knew it would happen to him. I always told him so. He was always swearing[Pg 311] like the devil, it was sure to happen to him.... Damn! Damn!"
And swearing away now for two men, instead of one, he went on growling quietly.
Before the dawn, we had again repaired the damage. And then the day broke, rosy96 and smiling, in the limpid97 horizon, lighting up a pile of German corpses and of ruins in the midst of our own ruins. And when I had gone up to my post once more, a blackbird came and perched on the top of the roof and warbled his gay song to the echoes. I understood then that only one thing matters in our existence, and that is to so order one's soul that, high up in the ideal azure98, it shall sing its song in spite of the storm. It must be a soul which, free and strong, shall continue its own way, always ready for any struggle, always ready for martyrdom, and always ready to rise heavenwards!
March, 1915.
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1
artillery
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| n.(军)火炮，大炮；炮兵(部队) | |
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hovered
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| 鸟( hover的过去式和过去分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
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serene
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| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
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touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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inundation
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| n.the act or fact of overflowing | |
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wan
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| (wide area network)广域网 | |
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weird
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| adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的 | |
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shroud
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| n.裹尸布，寿衣；罩，幕；vt.覆盖，隐藏 | |
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corpse
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| n.尸体，死尸 | |
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corpses
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| n.死尸，尸体( corpse的名词复数 ) | |
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charred
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| v.把…烧成炭( char的过去式)；烧焦 | |
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crumbling
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| adj.摇摇欲坠的 | |
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din
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| n.喧闹声，嘈杂声 | |
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grimacing
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| v.扮鬼相，做鬼脸( grimace的现在分词 ) | |
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ravaged
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| 毁坏( ravage的过去式和过去分词 )； 蹂躏； 劫掠； 抢劫 | |
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shreds
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| v.撕碎，切碎( shred的第三人称单数 )；用撕毁机撕毁（文件） | |
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poised
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| a.摆好姿势不动的 | |
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gnawed
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| 咬( gnaw的过去式和过去分词 )； （长时间） 折磨某人； （使）苦恼； （长时间）危害某事物 | |
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sockets
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| n.套接字，使应用程序能够读写与收发通讯协定(protocol)与资料的程序( Socket的名词复数 )；孔( socket的名词复数 )；（电器上的）插口；托座；凹穴 | |
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remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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profaned
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| v.不敬( profane的过去式和过去分词 )；亵渎，玷污 | |
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rustle
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| v.沙沙作响；偷盗(牛、马等)；n.沙沙声声 | |
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fulsome
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| adj.可恶的，虚伪的，过分恭维的 | |
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funereal
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| adj.悲哀的；送葬的 | |
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croaking
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| v.呱呱地叫( croak的现在分词 )；用粗的声音说 | |
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prey
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| n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨 | |
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wail
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| vt./vi.大声哀号，恸哭；呼啸，尖啸 | |
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hovering
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| 鸟( hover的现在分词 )； 靠近（某事物）； （人）徘徊； 犹豫 | |
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deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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infamy
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| n.声名狼藉，出丑，恶行 | |
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brutal
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| adj.残忍的，野蛮的，不讲理的 | |
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glorify
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| vt.颂扬，赞美，使增光，美化 | |
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lighting
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| n.照明，光线的明暗，舞台灯光 | |
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underneath
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| adj.在...下面，在...底下；adv.在下面 | |
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groan
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| vi./n.呻吟，抱怨；(发出)呻吟般的声音 | |
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trenches
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| 深沟，地沟( trench的名词复数 )； 战壕 | |
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trench
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| n./v.(挖)沟，(挖)战壕 | |
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crouches
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| n.蹲着的姿势( crouch的名词复数 )v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的第三人称单数 ) | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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projectile
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| n.投射物，发射体；adj.向前开进的；推进的；抛掷的 | |
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deafening
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| adj. 振耳欲聋的, 极喧闹的 动词deafen的现在分词形式 | |
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projectiles
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| n.抛射体( projectile的名词复数 )；（炮弹、子弹等）射弹，（火箭等）自动推进的武器 | |
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crouching
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| v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的现在分词 ) | |
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apparatus
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| n.装置，器械；器具，设备 | |
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45
flea
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| n.跳蚤 | |
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cartridge
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| n.弹壳，弹药筒；(装磁带等的)盒子 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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flattening
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| n. 修平 动词flatten的现在分词 | |
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withdrawn
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| vt.收回；使退出；vi.撤退，退出 | |
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chilly
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| adj.凉快的，寒冷的 | |
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51
cinders
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| n.煤渣( cinder的名词复数 )；炭渣；煤渣路；煤渣跑道 | |
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adventurous
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| adj.爱冒险的；惊心动魄的，惊险的，刺激的 | |
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cloister
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| n.修道院；v.隐退，使与世隔绝 | |
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putrid
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| adj.腐臭的；有毒的；已腐烂的；卑劣的 | |
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vaccinated
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| [医]已接种的，种痘的，接种过疫菌的 | |
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worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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inured
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| adj.坚强的，习惯的 | |
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havoc
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| n.大破坏，浩劫，大混乱，大杂乱 | |
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mattresses
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| 褥垫，床垫( mattress的名词复数 ) | |
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deluge
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| n./vt.洪水，暴雨，使泛滥 | |
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inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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joyful
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| adj.欢乐的，令人欢欣的 | |
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consecrated
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| adj.神圣的，被视为神圣的v.把…奉为神圣，给…祝圣( consecrate的过去式和过去分词 )；奉献 | |
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lieutenant
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| n.陆军中尉，海军上尉；代理官员，副职官员 | |
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followers
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| 追随者( follower的名词复数 )； 用户； 契据的附面； 从动件 | |
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hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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ambling
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| v.（马）缓行( amble的现在分词 )；从容地走，漫步 | |
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disdain
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| n.鄙视，轻视；v.轻视，鄙视，不屑 | |
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prudent
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| adj.谨慎的，有远见的，精打细算的 | |
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wink
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| n.眨眼，使眼色，瞬间；v.眨眼，使眼色，闪烁 | |
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eloquence
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| n.雄辩；口才，修辞 | |
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shrugged
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| vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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complimentary
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| adj.赠送的，免费的，赞美的，恭维的 | |
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epithets
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| n.（表示性质、特征等的）词语( epithet的名词复数 ) | |
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confidentially
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| ad.秘密地，悄悄地 | |
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winked
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| v.使眼色( wink的过去式和过去分词 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮 | |
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lookout
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| n.注意，前途，瞭望台 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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planks
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| （厚）木板( plank的名词复数 )； 政纲条目，政策要点 | |
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breach
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| n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破 | |
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climax
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| n.顶点；高潮；v.(使)达到顶点 | |
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isolated
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| adj.与世隔绝的 | |
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lull
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| v.使安静，使入睡，缓和，哄骗；n.暂停，间歇 | |
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commotion
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| n.骚动，动乱 | |
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growling
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| n.吠声, 咆哮声 v.怒吠, 咆哮, 吼 | |
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filthy
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| adj.卑劣的；恶劣的，肮脏的 | |
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agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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disorder
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| n.紊乱，混乱；骚动，骚乱；疾病，失调 | |
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rascals
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| 流氓( rascal的名词复数 )； 无赖； （开玩笑说法）淘气的人（尤指小孩）； 恶作剧的人 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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gaping
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| adj.口的；张口的；敞口的；多洞穴的v.目瞪口呆地凝视( gape的现在分词 )；张开，张大 | |
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dense
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| a.密集的，稠密的，浓密的；密度大的 | |
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martyr
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| n.烈士，殉难者；vt.杀害，折磨，牺牲 | |
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furtively
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| adv. 偷偷地, 暗中地 | |
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rosy
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| adj.美好的，乐观的，玫瑰色的 | |
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limpid
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| adj.清澈的，透明的 | |
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azure
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| adj.天蓝色的，蔚蓝色的 | |
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