"It is," was the placidly5 pleased reply: "and the same may be said of friendship at first sight as of love at first sight: it is the only true one, the only noble one. It bespeaks6 confidence. Who would go sounding his way into love or friendship, like a strange ship by night, into an enemy's harbor?"
"Right. Boldly in before the wind. Agreeable, how we always agree. By-the-way, though but a formality, friends should know each other's names. What is yours, pray?"
"Francis Goodman. But those who love me, call me Frank. And yours?" [251]
"Charles Arnold Noble. But do you call me Charlie."
"I will, Charlie; nothing like preserving in manhood the fraternal familiarities of youth. It proves the heart a rosy7 boy to the last."
"My sentiments again. Ah!"
It was a smiling waiter, with the smiling bottle, the cork8 drawn9; a common quart bottle, but for the occasion fitted at bottom into a little bark basket, braided with porcupine10 quills11, gayly tinted12 in the Indian fashion. This being set before the entertainer, he regarded it with affectionate interest, but seemed not to understand, or else to pretend not to, a handsome red label pasted on the bottle, bearing the capital letters, P. W.
"P. W.," said he at last, perplexedly eying the pleasing poser, "now what does P. W. mean?"
"Shouldn't wonder," said the cosmopolitan13 gravely, "if it stood for port wine. You called for port wine, didn't you?"
"Why so it is, so it is!"
"I find some little mysteries not very hard to clear up," said the other, quietly crossing his legs.
This commonplace seemed to escape the stranger's hearing, for, full of his bottle, he now rubbed his somewhat sallow hands over it, and with a strange kind of cackle, meant to be a chirrup, cried: "Good wine, good wine; is it not the peculiar14 bond of good feeling?" Then brimming both glasses, pushed one over, saying, with what seemed intended for an air of fine disdain15: "Ill betide those gloomy skeptics who maintain that [252] now-a-days pure wine is unpurchasable; that almost every variety on sale is less the vintage of vineyards than laboratories; that most bar-keepers are but a set of male Brinvilliarses, with complaisant16 arts practicing against the lives of their best friends, their customers."
A shade passed over the cosmopolitan. After a few minutes' down-cast musing17, he lifted his eyes and said: "I have long thought, my dear Charlie, that the spirit in which wine is regarded by too many in these days is one of the most painful examples of want of confidence. Look at these glasses. He who could mistrust poison in this wine would mistrust consumption in Hebe's cheek. While, as for suspicions against the dealers18 in wine and sellers of it, those who cherish such suspicions can have but limited trust in the human heart. Each human heart they must think to be much like each bottle of port, not such port as this, but such port as they hold to. Strange traducers, who see good faith in nothing, however sacred. Not medicines, not the wine in sacraments, has escaped them. The doctor with his phial, and the priest with his chalice19, they deem equally the unconscious dispensers of bogus cordials to the dying."
"Dreadful!"
"Dreadful indeed," said the cosmopolitan solemnly. "These distrusters stab at the very soul of confidence. If this wine," impressively holding up his full glass, "if this wine with its bright promise be not true, how shall man be, whose promise can be no brighter? But if wine be false, while men are true, whither shall fly convivial [253] geniality20? To think of sincerely-genial souls drinking each other's health at unawares in perfidious21 and murderous drugs!"
"Horrible!"
"Much too much so to be true, Charlie. Let us forget it. Come, you are my entertainer on this occasion, and yet you don't pledge me. I have been waiting for it."
"Pardon, pardon," half confusedly and half ostentatiously lifting his glass. "I pledge you, Frank, with my whole heart, believe me," taking a draught24 too decorous to be large, but which, small though it was, was followed by a slight involuntary wryness25 to the mouth.
"And I return you the pledge, Charlie, heart-warm as it came to me, and honest as this wine I drink it in," reciprocated26 the cosmopolitan with princely kindliness27 in his gesture, taking a generous swallow, concluding in a smack28, which, though audible, was not so much so as to be unpleasing.
"Talking of alleged29 spuriousness of wines," said he, tranquilly30 setting down his glass, and then sloping back his head and with friendly fixedness31 eying the wine, "perhaps the strangest part of those allegings is, that there is, as claimed, a kind of man who, while convinced that on this continent most wines are shams32, yet still drinks away at them; accounting34 wine so fine a thing, that even the sham33 article is better than none at all. And if the temperance people urge that, by this course, he will sooner or later be undermined in health, he answers, 'And do you think I don't know that? But health [254] without cheer I hold a bore; and cheer, even of the spurious sort, has its price, which I am willing to pay.'"
"Yes, if such a man there be, which I don't credit. It is a fable37, but a fable from which I once heard a person of less genius than grotesqueness38 draw a moral even more extravagant40 than the fable itself. He said that it illustrated42, as in a parable43, how that a man of a disposition ungovernably good-natured might still familiarly associate with men, though, at the same time, he believed the greater part of men false-hearted—accounting society so sweet a thing that even the spurious sort was better than none at all. And if the Rochefoucaultites urge that, by this course, he will sooner or later be undermined in security, he answers, 'And do you think I don't know that? But security without society I hold a bore; and society, even of the spurious sort, has its price, which I am willing to pay.'"
"A most singular theory," said the stranger with a slight fidget, eying his companion with some inquisitiveness44, "indeed, Frank, a most slanderous45 thought," he exclaimed in sudden heat and with an involuntary look almost of being personally aggrieved46.
"In one sense it merits all you say, and more," rejoined the other with wonted mildness, "but, for a kind of drollery47 in it, charity might, perhaps, overlook something of the wickedness. Humor is, in fact, so blessed a thing, that even in the least virtuous48 product of the [255] human mind, if there can be found but nine good jokes, some philosophers are clement49 enough to affirm that those nine good jokes should redeem50 all the wicked thoughts, though plenty as the populace of Sodom. At any rate, this same humor has something, there is no telling what, of beneficence in it, it is such a catholicon and charm—nearly all men agreeing in relishing51 it, though they may agree in little else—and in its way it undeniably does such a deal of familiar good in the world, that no wonder it is almost a proverb, that a man of humor, a man capable of a good loud laugh—seem how he may in other things—can hardly be a heartless scamp."
"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed the other, pointing to the figure of a pale pauper-boy on the deck below, whose pitiableness was touched, as it were, with ludicrousness by a pair of monstrous52 boots, apparently53 some mason's discarded ones, cracked with drouth, half eaten by lime, and curled up about the toe like a bassoon. "Look—ha, ha, ha!"
"I see," said the other, with what seemed quiet appreciation54, but of a kind expressing an eye to the grotesque39, without blindness to what in this case accompanied it, "I see; and the way in which it moves you, Charlie, comes in very apropos55 to point the proverb I was speaking of. Indeed, had you intended this effect, it could not have been more so. For who that heard that laugh, but would as naturally argue from it a sound heart as sound lungs? True, it is said that a man may smile, and smile, and smile, and be a villain56; [256] but it is not said that a man may laugh, and laugh, and laugh, and be one, is it, Charlie?"
"Ha, ha, ha!—no no, no no."
"Why Charlie, your explosions illustrate41 my remarks almost as aptly as the chemist's imitation volcano did his lectures. But even if experience did not sanction the proverb, that a good laugher cannot be a bad man, I should yet feel bound in confidence to believe it, since it is a saying current among the people, and I doubt not originated among them, and hence must be true; for the voice of the people is the voice of truth. Don't you think so?"
"Of course I do. If Truth don't speak through the people, it never speaks at all; so I heard one say."
"A true saying. But we stray. The popular notion of humor, considered as index to the heart, would seem curiously57 confirmed by Aristotle—I think, in his 'Politics,' (a work, by-the-by, which, however it may be viewed upon the whole, yet, from the tenor58 of certain sections, should not, without precaution, be placed in the hands of youth)—who remarks that the least lovable men in history seem to have had for humor not only a disrelish, but a hatred59; and this, in some cases, along with an extraordinary dry taste for practical punning. I remember it is related of Phalaris, the capricious tyrant60 of Sicily, that he once caused a poor fellow to be beheaded on a horse-block, for no other cause than having a horse-laugh."
"Funny Phalaris!"
"Cruel Phalaris!" [257]
As after fire-crackers, there was a pause, both looking downward on the table as if mutually struck by the contrast of exclamations61, and pondering upon its significance, if any. So, at least, it seemed; but on one side it might have been otherwise: for presently glancing up, the cosmopolitan said: "In the instance of the moral, drolly62 cynic, drawn from the queer bacchanalian fellow we were speaking of, who had his reasons for still drinking spurious wine, though knowing it to be such—there, I say, we have an example of what is certainly a wicked thought, but conceived in humor. I will now give you one of a wicked thought conceived in wickedness. You shall compare the two, and answer, whether in the one case the sting is not neutralized63 by the humor, and whether in the other the absence of humor does not leave the sting free play. I once heard a wit, a mere64 wit, mind, an irreligious Parisian wit, say, with regard to the temperance movement, that none, to their personal benefit, joined it sooner than niggards and knaves65; because, as he affirmed, the one by it saved money and the other made money, as in ship-owners cutting off the spirit ration66 without giving its equivalent, and gamblers and all sorts of subtle tricksters sticking to cold water, the better to keep a cool head for business."
"A wicked thought, indeed!" cried the stranger, feelingly.
"Yes," leaning over the table on his elbow and genially67 gesturing at him with his forefinger68: "yes, and, as I said, you don't remark the sting of it?"
"I do, indeed. Most calumnious69 thought, Frank!" [258]
"No humor in it?"
"Not a bit!"
"Well now, Charlie," eying him with moist regard, "let us drink. It appears to me you don't drink freely."
"Oh, oh—indeed, indeed—I am not backward there. I protest, a freer drinker than friend Charlie you will find nowhere," with feverish70 zeal71 snatching his glass, but only in the sequel to dally72 with it. "By-the-way, Frank," said he, perhaps, or perhaps not, to draw attention from himself, "by-the-way, I saw a good thing the other day; capital thing; a panegyric73 on the press, It pleased me so, I got it by heart at two readings. It is a kind of poetry, but in a form which stands in something the same relation to blank verse which that does to rhyme. A sort of free-and-easy chant with refrains to it. Shall I recite it?"
"Anything in praise of the press I shall be happy to hear," rejoined the cosmopolitan, "the more so," he gravely proceeded, "as of late I have observed in some quarters a disposition to disparage74 the press."
"Disparage the press?"
"Even so; some gloomy souls affirming that it is proving with that great invention as with brandy or eau-de-vie, which, upon its first discovery, was believed by the doctors to be, as its French name implies, a panacea—a notion which experience, it may be thought, has not fully75 verified."
"You surprise me, Frank. Are there really those who so decry76 the press? Tell me more. Their reasons." [259]
"Reasons they have none, but affirmations they have many; among other things affirming that, while under dynastic despotisms, the press is to the people little but an improvisatore, under popular ones it is too apt to be their Jack77 Cade. In fine, these sour sages78 regard the press in the light of a Colt's revolver, pledged to no cause but his in whose chance hands it may be; deeming the one invention an improvement upon the pen, much akin23 to what the other is upon the pistol; involving, along with the multiplication79 of the barrel, no consecration80 of the aim. The term 'freedom of the press' they consider on a par22 with freedom of Colt's revolver. Hence, for truth and the right, they hold, to indulge hopes from the one is little more sensible than for Kossuth and Mazzini to indulge hopes from the other. Heart-breaking views enough, you think; but their refutation is in every true reformer's contempt. Is it not so?"
"Without doubt. But go on, go on. I like to hear you," flatteringly brimming up his glass for him.
"For one," continued the cosmopolitan, grandly swelling81 his chest, "I hold the press to be neither the people's improvisatore, nor Jack Cade; neither their paid fool, nor conceited82 drudge83. I think interest never prevails with it over duty. The press still speaks for truth though impaled84, in the teeth of lies though intrenched. Disdaining85 for it the poor name of cheap diffuser of news, I claim for it the independent apostleship of Advancer of Knowledge:—the iron Paul! Paul, I say; for not only does the press advance knowledge, [260] but righteousness. In the press, as in the sun, resides, my dear Charlie, a dedicated86 principle of beneficent force and light. For the Satanic press, by its coappearance with the apostolic, it is no more an aspersion87 to that, than to the true sun is the coappearance of the mock one. For all the baleful-looking parhelion, god Apollo dispenses88 the day. In a word, Charlie, what the sovereign of England is titularly, I hold the press to be actually—Defender of the Faith!—defender of the faith in the final triumph of truth over error, metaphysics over superstition89, theory over falsehood, machinery90 over nature, and the good man over the bad. Such are my views, which, if stated at some length, you, Charlie, must pardon, for it is a theme upon which I cannot speak with cold brevity. And now I am impatient for your panegyric, which, I doubt not, will put mine to the blush."
"It is rather in the blush-giving vein," smiled the other; "but such as it is, Frank, you shall have it."
"Tell me when you are about to begin," said the cosmopolitan, "for, when at public dinners the press is toasted, I always drink the toast standing91, and shall stand while you pronounce the panegyric."
"Very good, Frank; you may stand up now."
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1
convivial
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| adj.狂欢的，欢乐的 | |
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2
expectancy
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| n.期望，预期，（根据概率统计求得）预期数额 | |
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3
blithely
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| adv.欢乐地，快活地，无挂虑地 | |
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invitingly
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| adv. 动人地 | |
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placidly
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| adv.平稳地，平静地 | |
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6
bespeaks
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| v.预定( bespeak的第三人称单数 )；订（货）；证明；预先请求 | |
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rosy
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| adj.美好的，乐观的，玫瑰色的 | |
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8
cork
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| n.软木，软木塞 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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10
porcupine
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| n.豪猪， 箭猪 | |
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11
quills
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| n.（刺猬或豪猪的）刺( quill的名词复数 )；羽毛管；翮；纡管 | |
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12
tinted
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| adj. 带色彩的 动词tint的过去式和过去分词 | |
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13
cosmopolitan
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| adj.世界性的，全世界的，四海为家的，全球的 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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disdain
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| n.鄙视，轻视；v.轻视，鄙视，不屑 | |
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16
complaisant
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| adj.顺从的，讨好的 | |
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musing
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| n. 沉思，冥想 adj. 沉思的, 冥想的 动词muse的现在分词形式 | |
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18
dealers
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| n.商人( dealer的名词复数 )；贩毒者；毒品贩子；发牌者 | |
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19
chalice
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| n.圣餐杯；金杯毒酒 | |
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geniality
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| n.和蔼，诚恳；愉快 | |
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perfidious
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| adj.不忠的，背信弃义的 | |
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par
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| n.标准，票面价值，平均数量；adj.票面的，平常的，标准的 | |
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23
akin
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| adj.同族的，类似的 | |
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draught
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| n.拉，牵引，拖；一网（饮，吸，阵)；顿服药量，通风；v.起草，设计 | |
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25
wryness
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| （钢板酸洗缺陷）灰斑 | |
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26
reciprocated
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| v.报答，酬答( reciprocate的过去式和过去分词 )；（机器的部件）直线往复运动 | |
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27
kindliness
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| n.厚道，亲切，友好的行为 | |
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28
smack
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| vt.拍，打，掴；咂嘴；vi.含有…意味；n.拍 | |
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29
alleged
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| a.被指控的，嫌疑的 | |
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tranquilly
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| adv. 宁静地 | |
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31
fixedness
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| n.固定；稳定；稳固 | |
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32
shams
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| 假象( sham的名词复数 )； 假货； 虚假的行为（或感情、言语等）； 假装…的人 | |
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sham
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| n./adj.假冒(的)，虚伪(的) | |
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34
accounting
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| n.会计，会计学，借贷对照表 | |
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disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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bacchanalian
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| adj.闹酒狂饮的；n.发酒疯的人 | |
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fable
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| n.寓言；童话；神话 | |
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grotesqueness
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grotesque
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| adj.怪诞的，丑陋的；n.怪诞的图案，怪人（物） | |
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40
extravagant
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| adj.奢侈的；过分的；(言行等)放肆的 | |
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41
illustrate
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| v.举例说明，阐明；图解，加插图 | |
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illustrated
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| adj. 有插图的，列举的 动词illustrate的过去式和过去分词 | |
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43
parable
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| n.寓言，比喻 | |
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44
inquisitiveness
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| 好奇，求知欲 | |
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45
slanderous
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| adj.诽谤的，中伤的 | |
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46
aggrieved
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| adj.愤愤不平的，受委屈的；悲痛的；（在合法权利方面）受侵害的v.令委屈，令苦恼，侵害( aggrieve的过去式)；令委屈，令苦恼，侵害( aggrieve的过去式和过去分词) | |
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47
drollery
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| n.开玩笑，说笑话；滑稽可笑的图画（或故事、小戏等） | |
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48
virtuous
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| adj.有品德的，善良的，贞洁的，有效力的 | |
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49
clement
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| adj.仁慈的；温和的 | |
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50
redeem
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| v.买回，赎回，挽回，恢复，履行（诺言等） | |
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51
relishing
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| v.欣赏( relish的现在分词 )；从…获得乐趣；渴望 | |
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52
monstrous
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| adj.巨大的；恐怖的；可耻的，丢脸的 | |
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53
apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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54
appreciation
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| n.评价；欣赏；感谢；领会，理解；价格上涨 | |
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55
apropos
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| adv.恰好地；adj.恰当的；关于 | |
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56
villain
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| n.反派演员，反面人物；恶棍；问题的起因 | |
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57
curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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58
tenor
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| n.男高音（歌手），次中音（乐器），要旨，大意 | |
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59
hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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60
tyrant
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| n.暴君，专制的君主，残暴的人 | |
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61
exclamations
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| n.呼喊( exclamation的名词复数 )；感叹；感叹语；感叹词 | |
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62
drolly
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| adv.古里古怪地；滑稽地；幽默地；诙谐地 | |
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63
neutralized
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| v.使失效( neutralize的过去式和过去分词 )；抵消；中和；使（一个国家）中立化 | |
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64
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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65
knaves
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| n.恶棍，无赖( knave的名词复数 )；（纸牌中的）杰克 | |
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66
ration
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| n.定量(pl.)给养，口粮；vt.定量供应 | |
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67
genially
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| adv.亲切地，和蔼地；快活地 | |
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68
forefinger
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| n.食指 | |
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69
calumnious
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| adj.毁谤的，中伤的 | |
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70
feverish
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| adj.发烧的，狂热的，兴奋的 | |
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71
zeal
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| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
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72
dally
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| v.荒废(时日)，调情 | |
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73
panegyric
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| n.颂词，颂扬 | |
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74
disparage
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| v.贬抑，轻蔑 | |
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75
fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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76
decry
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| v.危难，谴责 | |
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77
jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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78
sages
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| n.圣人( sage的名词复数 )；智者；哲人；鼠尾草（可用作调料） | |
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79
multiplication
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| n.增加，增多，倍增；增殖，繁殖；乘法 | |
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80
consecration
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| n.供献，奉献，献祭仪式 | |
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81
swelling
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| n.肿胀 | |
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82
conceited
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| adj.自负的，骄傲自满的 | |
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83
drudge
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| n.劳碌的人；v.做苦工，操劳 | |
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84
impaled
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| 钉在尖桩上( impale的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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85
disdaining
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| 鄙视( disdain的现在分词 )； 不屑于做，不愿意做 | |
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86
dedicated
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| adj.一心一意的；献身的；热诚的 | |
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87
aspersion
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| n.诽谤，中伤 | |
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88
dispenses
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| v.分配，分与；分配( dispense的第三人称单数 )；施与；配（药） | |
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89
superstition
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| n.迷信，迷信行为 | |
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90
machinery
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| n.(总称)机械，机器；机构 | |
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91
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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92
ruby
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| n.红宝石，红宝石色 | |
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