“I go to my castle in Spain, really, nothing but a simple little hermitage in the Maine woods. I assure you it would be of no interest. Now I must be off, for it is like uprooting4 an oak every time I go away. I like to leave things as shipshape as possible before I begin to play.”
“Are you never lonesome?” she persisted.
“I’ve all the inhabitants of the forest,” he answered. “Good-by. I understand you’ve accepted for the yachting party, the one Lissa is giving.” His face expressed displeasure.
Thurley nodded; she had intended to escape it until this identical moment when his bland5, impersonal6 manner was fuel for her folly7.
“You’ll get good ideas as to what to avoid. I have always contended that to build a virtuous8 wall around one’s self was questionable,—better be able to view all[285] that is happening, good and bad, and make one’s deductions9 accordingly. Lissa reminds me of the basilisk serpent who could ‘look one to death.’ Have a care, Thurley; you’ve no more youth and energy to spare than most of us.” And he left her.
The third reason, and this, too, was an annoying secret, was that Thurley wanted to see the Boston Valley hills and Birge’s Corners. She wanted to go home! Yet not as Thurley Precore, prima donna, but just as Thurley, as unknown but as loved as when she had raced through the village with Dan in pursuit or climbed chestnut10 trees to the discredit11 of her manners, helping12 make daisy chains for the primary class to carry into church on Children’s Day or working her bit of a garden with wholehearted interest and disregard of her appearance.
The notion was absurd and impossible, and, as a powerful destroyer of whim13, Thurley accepted the invitation to Lissa’s yachting party and cruised along the coast of Newfoundland in a yacht which had been lent to Lissa by one of her devoted14 pupils.
The yachting party was not a pleasant affair all told. But it was interesting and exciting. Lissa herself was the discordant15 note, with the faculty16 of stirring every one up about something and then losing interest in it and being provoked if the others did not play sheep and do likewise. She had a subtle fashion of reminding every one that, after all, she was the hostess and if they wished they could all get off the yacht at any time they liked and walk home from Newfoundland!
Lissa played with Mark in cat-and-mouse fashion, flirted18 desperately19 with Caleb to arouse Ernestine’s jealousy20, and Caleb, who regarded her as stunning21 copy, resolved to transplant her bodily in her most daring combination of orange satin with black velvet22 streamers into[286] his next best seller. There were ways of gaining revenge, he informed Ernestine, who stayed by herself on the upper deck, dressing23 in uninteresting smock affairs and talking over prosy matters with Collin Hedley and Polly, while Thurley and Mark romped25 about to brave Lissa’s displeasure as they made pseudo-love in audacious fashion.
After four weeks of this vapid26 sport, every one had succeeded in getting on every one else’s nerves and the party disbanded, its members each vowing27 that, although so and so was a dear, they would never go away with them again, and Thurley flew on to the mountains to visit Miss Clergy28 and find an enforced peace in the sanitarium routine.
War broke out in Europe with its astonishing effects and complications and when the fall came to rescue Thurley from feeling as aged30 as the gentleman from Calcutta who had chronic31 neuralgia and had occupied the veranda32 chair next to Miss Clergy’s, New York began to hum with winter plans and she returned to Hortense and the apartment with positive delight and eagerness.
Ennui33 in the young is more deadly than in the middle-aged34, since it is an unnatural35 happening. The press agent who wrote attractive squibs about Miss Precore yachting and in the mountains little dreamed that Thurley started her season with as much zest36 as the squirrel in the squirrel cage who, from his endless pursuit of nothing, seems to be the proof extraordinary to the world that it is possible for one person to make a quarrel!
Ernestine Christian37 had romped over to Devonshire to meet a congenial friend who would wheel through the country and thus repay her for the yachting trip, but she was caught in the war clouds and reached home with difficulty.
[287]
Caleb met her as was customary, although all she said by way of a welcome was,
“I’ve had a fright of a time. Europe is seething38 like a witches’ caldron. I’m out of my own cigarettes and special kind of hair nets and my fingers feel like sticks. Dalrymple, the best coach I’ve ever had, has rushed to Canada to go into training!”
“You look fagged,” Caleb admitted as he drove her home. “Well, as nearly as I can make out every one has a grouch39 on. Thurley is beginning to have bad mannerisms; Bliss must take her in hand. Lissa has ruined her with nonsensical notions and Mark dawdles40 about only to waste her time. You haven’t asked as to myself,” he reminded her childishly.
“I brought you a hand-illumined thing,” she answered.
“Oh, certainly—always remember the servants when returning home. It pays! By Jove, that’s a nice hullo for a chap, to say nothing of having stood for your glooms in Newfoundland—”
“You were listening behind tall vases to get our conversation,” she reproached. “I dare say you’ve a hundred pages’ getaway on a worst-seller.”
Caleb was silent and then, instead of impetuous defense41, he said in a dreary42 tone, “Don’t believe I’ll bother you again, Ernestine. It just ‘riles’ you and discourages me.”
“Oh, do drop in for dominoes; no one else ever lets me win so often,” she returned, a bundle of nerves and womanish imaginings, prepared to enter her apartment and find fault and be adorably generous all in one.
Caleb was right concerning Thurley’s mannerisms. Her first adverse43 criticism proved a mental stab at which she recoiled44 with agonizing45 and amusing self-excuses.
“Miss Precore has adopted an unpleasant habit of[288] swaying her body when her voice ascends46 the scale. Hitherto one of the greatest delights of this young artist was the splendid simplicity47 which charmed every one who heard and saw her. Not for an instant did she forget the great essentials of musical art—to conceal48 art itself. She was as unconscious of the audience or the opera company as if she were, in truth, the composer’s mental vision when actually writing the title part! It is to be hoped that this habit and the air of self-consciousness may be done away with before either becomes fixed49. To lose such an example of artistic50 triumph as Thurley Precore has demonstrated to us would be irreparable.”
No one mentioned the criticism to Thurley—there was no need to do so. Two days after it was printed and her manager told her she must go on a concert tour in February, Thurley dressed herself deliberately51 in a gown as gleamingly white and glitteringly silver as a path of moonlight; it fairly clothed her in romance. She tied green tulle about her hair and, taking a cloak of emerald green velours, she drove to Bliss Hobart’s apartment, having had Hortense first ’phone to ask if he would be at home.
During the drive she planned what she should say with the artifice52 of a world coquette. Thurley had fallen prey53 to Lissa’s spell, yet she had, being denied the simple ties of acknowledged relationships, found scant54 solace55 in the bizarre theories of a small but powerful portion of the world. She had told herself with the recklessness of youth that she was different from others, therefore she had the right to live in different fashion, to love in different fashion if she chose ... she would not stay a convent sort of celebrity56 with every one adoring and applauding and copying her in every way imaginable yet no one becoming happily related to her. She regarded Ernestine[289] as a remote, though precious, older sister who had made a bad error in becoming so aloof57; she wanted Collin to marry Polly Harris in the good old-fashioned way, since Polly had no more chance of writing successful opera than the fire escape of her attic58 of turning into a marble stairway. She was undecided as to Caleb’s destiny. Lissa was interesting, even with her jealousies59 and vanities, her greed for all material things—Thurley suddenly realized that Lissa was interesting because she never corrected one, she never proved the wrong of this or the right of that—and who, not excepting rosy24 youth, does not incline to him who never reproves but merely condones61? Mark did not really interest Thurley, since she had ceased trying to deny the truth to herself—that she loved Bliss Hobart in such tense fashion that she thought of him as her inspiration in whatsoever62 she did! The only solace she had when Hobart busied himself with new pupils, going here and there to decide this or that question, or when society women flocked about to try their best to fascinate, was that he treated the entire world with the same indifference63 and kindly64 patronage65 and, if Thurley still hoped through magical power to waken in him romantic love, she had sense enough to keep her secret well hidden—from herself most of the time—in order that she might do her work and stay within his jurisdiction66.
She found Hobart and Caleb Patmore playing chess, a favorite recreation of the former’s.
“I’m quite a gamester,” Caleb said, with visible relief as she appeared. “Ernestine lapses67 into childhood via dominoes and Collin actually stops painting to drag me into casino—casino, Thurley! Why do you not stroke my brow or show some symptom of humanity? Polly Harris yearns68 for cribbage; you know Polly still[290] hints of that ancestry69 of hers where she had school marms for aunts and judges for uncles and her cousins all went to military academies. Why this odd devil takes to chess for his pleasure—I understand it not. Help, ho, Thurley, take my place—will you?”
Thurley hesitated. It was not to her liking70 nor her intention to have any one present at her visit, but she dallied71 the question gracefully72, submitting a list of songs for the concert tour and pretending grave anxiety as to the recovery of one of the songbirds recently in a motor accident.
As she rose to go, inventing a dinner engagement, Hobart accompanied her into the reception hall, leaving Caleb straddled on the fire-settle wondering—who knows what?
“What did you really want?” Hobart asked, as she paused before the door. “Don’t tell me you’re going to do Red Cross work and wear a uniform—”
“It’s the criticism,” she said simply. “It hurt—you might have warned me when you saw my faults.”
“I warned you not to waste summers,” he reminded. “I said all I could. You are no longer my pupil and I have other things which take my time.”
“What shall I do?” she demanded petulantly73. “I will not be a mere60 shooting-star person as so many would like to see me—”
“Well, well, let us see.” He placed his hands on her shoulders in the benevolent74, paternal75 fashion she so admired. But she spoiled it by trying to flirt17 with him as she looked up.
He dropped his hands as if he read the meaning of the coquettish gaze. “Suppose you find a hobby, Thurley; put all your airs and mannerisms into it. It often works for the best good—what shall it be? Collecting[291] butterflies or canes76, opening Indian mounds—trying to write a play—discovering the fourth dimension—eh?”
Tears were in her eyes. And the big ache of her heart was changed into a sob77 which rose in her throat with a penitent78 murmur79.
“You are cruel,” she said in a fierce little rage.
“You funny, lovely, little fool!” he laughed, but in soul-healing fashion. “Just be the old Thurley and we’ll love you as we did at first!” After which he opened the door and went down to her cab, telling her how becoming was the costume she wore as Elsa and promising80 to send her a book of golf anecdotes81 which he considered excellent. She drove off feeling somewhat as Hortense Quinby had expressed it—a mere onlooker82 at something she craved83 but could never attain84. She wanted to rout29 Caleb from the fire-settle and sit there herself until Bliss Hobart should return, to say to him with the assurance with which loved wives are blessed,
“Darling, how stupid of any one to come in to-night—please bolt the door and finish the story we started. I’ll snuggle down on this cushion and lean against your knee. I like to watch the fire as you read to see the characters slip about the coals.... I’m very silly, Bliss, but there’s no need for me to reform, God made you wise enough for us both!” ...
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1
apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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secondly
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| adv.第二，其次 | |
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bliss
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| n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福 | |
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4
uprooting
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| n.倒根，挖除伐根v.把（某物）连根拔起( uproot的现在分词 )；根除；赶走；把…赶出家园 | |
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5
bland
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| adj.淡而无味的，温和的，无刺激性的 | |
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6
impersonal
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| adj.无个人感情的，与个人无关的，非人称的 | |
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7
folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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8
virtuous
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| adj.有品德的，善良的，贞洁的，有效力的 | |
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9
deductions
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| 扣除( deduction的名词复数 )； 结论； 扣除的量； 推演 | |
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10
chestnut
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| n.栗树，栗子 | |
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11
discredit
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| vt.使不可置信；n.丧失信义；不信，怀疑 | |
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12
helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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13
whim
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| n.一时的兴致，突然的念头；奇想，幻想 | |
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14
devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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15
discordant
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| adj.不调和的 | |
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16
faculty
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| n.才能；学院，系；(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
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17
flirt
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| v.调情，挑逗，调戏；n.调情者，卖俏者 | |
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18
flirted
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| v.调情，打情骂俏( flirt的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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19
desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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20
jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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21
stunning
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| adj.极好的；使人晕倒的 | |
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22
velvet
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| n.丝绒，天鹅绒；adj.丝绒制的，柔软的 | |
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23
dressing
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| n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料 | |
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24
rosy
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| adj.美好的，乐观的，玫瑰色的 | |
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25
romped
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| v.嬉笑玩闹( romp的过去式和过去分词 )；（尤指在赛跑或竞选等中）轻易获胜 | |
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26
vapid
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| adj.无味的；无生气的 | |
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27
vowing
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| 起誓，发誓（vow的现在分词形式） | |
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28
clergy
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| n.[总称]牧师，神职人员 | |
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29
rout
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| n.溃退，溃败；v.击溃，打垮 | |
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30
aged
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| adj.年老的，陈年的 | |
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chronic
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| adj.(疾病)长期未愈的，慢性的；极坏的 | |
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32
veranda
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| n.走廊；阳台 | |
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33
ennui
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| n.怠倦，无聊 | |
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middle-aged
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| adj.中年的 | |
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35
unnatural
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| adj.不自然的；反常的 | |
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36
zest
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| n.乐趣；滋味，风味；兴趣 | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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38
seething
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| 沸腾的，火热的 | |
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39
grouch
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| n.牢骚，不满；v.抱怨 | |
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40
dawdles
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| v.混（时间）( dawdle的第三人称单数 ) | |
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41
defense
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| n.防御，保卫；[pl.]防务工事；辩护，答辩 | |
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42
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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43
adverse
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| adj.不利的；有害的；敌对的，不友好的 | |
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44
recoiled
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| v.畏缩( recoil的过去式和过去分词 )；退缩；报应；返回 | |
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45
agonizing
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| adj.痛苦难忍的；使人苦恼的v.使极度痛苦；折磨(agonize的ing形式) | |
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46
ascends
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| v.上升，攀登( ascend的第三人称单数 ) | |
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47
simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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48
conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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49
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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50
artistic
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| adj.艺术(家)的，美术(家)的；善于艺术创作的 | |
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51
deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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52
artifice
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| n.妙计，高明的手段；狡诈，诡计 | |
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53
prey
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| n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨 | |
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54
scant
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| adj.不充分的，不足的；v.减缩，限制，忽略 | |
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55
solace
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| n.安慰；v.使快乐；vt.安慰(物)，缓和 | |
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56
celebrity
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| n.名人，名流；著名，名声，名望 | |
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57
aloof
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| adj.远离的；冷淡的，漠不关心的 | |
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58
attic
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| n.顶楼，屋顶室 | |
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59
jealousies
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| n.妒忌( jealousy的名词复数 )；妒羡 | |
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60
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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61
condones
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| v.容忍，宽恕，原谅( condone的第三人称单数 ) | |
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62
whatsoever
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| adv.（用于否定句中以加强语气）任何；pron.无论什么 | |
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63
indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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64
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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65
patronage
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| n.赞助，支援，援助；光顾，捧场 | |
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66
jurisdiction
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| n.司法权，审判权，管辖权，控制权 | |
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67
lapses
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| n.失误，过失( lapse的名词复数 )；小毛病；行为失检；偏离正道v.退步( lapse的第三人称单数 )；陷入；倒退；丧失 | |
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68
yearns
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| 渴望，切盼，向往( yearn的第三人称单数 ) | |
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69
ancestry
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| n.祖先，家世 | |
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70
liking
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| n.爱好；嗜好；喜欢 | |
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71
dallied
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| v.随随便便地对待( dally的过去式和过去分词 )；不很认真地考虑；浪费时间；调情 | |
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72
gracefully
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| ad.大大方方地；优美地 | |
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73
petulantly
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74
benevolent
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| adj.仁慈的，乐善好施的 | |
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75
paternal
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| adj.父亲的，像父亲的，父系的，父方的 | |
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76
canes
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| n.（某些植物，如竹或甘蔗的）茎( cane的名词复数 )；（用于制作家具等的）竹竿；竹杖 | |
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77
sob
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| n.空间轨道的轰炸机；呜咽，哭泣 | |
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78
penitent
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| adj.后悔的；n.后悔者；忏悔者 | |
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79
murmur
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| n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言 | |
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80
promising
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| adj.有希望的，有前途的 | |
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81
anecdotes
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| n.掌故，趣闻，轶事( anecdote的名词复数 ) | |
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82
onlooker
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| n.旁观者，观众 | |
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83
craved
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| 渴望，热望( crave的过去式 )； 恳求，请求 | |
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84
attain
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| vt.达到，获得，完成 | |
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