One little hour! and then away they speed
To meet no more.—Alexander Smith.
"Good morning, Ned," said Morton to his friend Meredith. He had come to Boston the day before, and had already seen Meredith more than once.
"Going already? Sit down, man. Why are you in such a hurry?"
"I shall look in again before night."
"You are not well. I never thought you could look so worn and haggard."
"Try the prison of Ehrenberg for four or five years, and see how you will look when you get out. It's nothing, though. A little rest will make all right again."
"You are not very likely to get it. You are a lion now, and people will not leave you alone."
"They shall. I am not in the humor for balls and dinner parties."
He went to the house of Mrs. Ashland, whom he had accompanied homeward from New York.
"Have you the letter for me?"
The letter was that which had come from Europe with the story of his death. On hearing Mrs. Ashland's account, he had at once conjectured3 that this was but another stroke of Vinal's diplomacy4; but he had been careful not to intimate to his friend the least suspicion against the latter.
The commission of obtaining from Edith the letter in question was far from an agreeable one; but Mrs. Ashland had accomplished5 it, and now placed the paper in Morton's hands.
The signature was not that of Speyer; but at the first glance, Morton was sure that the small, neat handwriting was the same with that of the treacherous6 notes of introduction given him by Vinal at Paris. As he studied the letter, reading and re-reading it, his companion, who remembered him chiefly as a frank, good-humored young man, was startled at the stern and almost fierce expression which once or twice came over his features, and seemed to be banished7 by an effort. A vague suspicion of some mystery rose in her mind, but Morton hastened to divert her.
"I hope that Edith will not refuse a visit from me."
Here, again, Mrs. Ashland promised to mediate8 for him, and in the afternoon he received a note from her, saying that Vinal's wife would see him on the next morning.
At the hour named, he rang at the door, forced his lips to inquire for "Mrs. Vinal," gave his name to the servant, and was shown into the drawing room.
It was nearly five years since he had last seen that well-remembered room. Nothing was changed. It remained precisely9 as he had known it when he stood prosperously on the farther verge10 of that dreary11 chasm12 of time; and as each familiar object met his eye, such a flood of bitter recollection came upon him, that for a moment he bent13 his head upon his breast.
He raised it, and started as he did so. Reflected in the mirror at the end of the room, as if the art of some new Cornelius had evoked14 it, stood, pale as marble, the form that had so long attended his sleeping and waking dreams. Morton turned quickly, and saw Edith standing15 motionless in the doorway16.
He advanced towards her, and took her hand in both his own. She raised her eyes to his face in silence. He tried to speak, but tried in vain. At length he found utterance17.
"I know it all. Ellen Ashland has told me every thing. I do not blame you;—no one can blame you."
"Thank God that you think so."
"Yes, thank God; for when I thought that you had forgotten me——"
"Then you did think so?"
"For a time; and it seemed to me as if no more constancy were left on earth; as if it had been sapped and undermined in its very citadel18."
"Do not believe that I forgot you for a single hour; or that I can ever forget you. You and I have been joined at least in an equal sorrow and suspense19. We have walked through depths together, and drank the same gall20 and bitterness."
"That one month—four miserable21 weeks—should have worked all this! One month sooner, and this black picture of our lives would have been bright again as the sunshine. I could believe that some infernal power had taken the reins22 of our fate."
"Do not say so, nor think so. You have fronted death; you have braved despair; and now bear this blow victoriously23 as you have borne the rest."
"The crowning blow is the heaviest of all."
"Look into my heart,—if you could look into it,—and see on which of us it has fallen with the more sickening and withering24 force."
Morton looked into her face. It was like a deep lake becalmed, into which strong springs are boiling up from rocks at the bottom. The surface is still; but looking more closely, one may discern faint gliding26 undulations and trembling lines, which betray the turmoil27 below. Morton saw them, and felt their purport28.
"I would to God," he said, "I could bear your burden for you."
Edith buried her face, and burst into a flood of weeping.
Grief, mixed with more ardent29 emotion, wrought30 with such violence in Morton's breast, that he scarcely restrained his impulse to throw himself at her feet. In a few moments, she raised her head.
"Do not think from this, that I am not resigned to what has fallen on us. It is best. Incomprehensible as it is, it is best for us both."
A passionate31 denial rose to Morton's lips; but he did not utter it.
"I overrated my strength. I am weaker than I hoped to have found myself. You wish to bear my burden! You have had enough to bear of your own, Vassall; but with you, endurance is not the whole. You still have youth, health, vigor32. To one of your instincts, the world has noble tasks enough. With a heart steeled by dangers, refined by sufferings, tempered in fires of anguish33, what path need you fear to tread? Forget the past;—no, do not forget it; only forget all in it that may damp your courage or weaken your hand. When I knew you first, you were full of zeal34 in a worthy35 and generous enterprise. Cling to it still. Let me see the tree which I knew in its blossoming bear a full fruit at maturity36. Let me see the ardent and earnest spirit which I knew in the beginning, not quelled37 or flagging by the way, but holding on its course to the end. The pure chivalry38 of your heart which constrained39 me to love you, the instinct which turned towards honor and nobleness as a tree turns its branches to the sun,—do not part from it; keep it unstained for my sake, and let it brighten and strengthen all your life."
"If preachers could speak with your tongue," exclaimed Morton, "the world would forget itself and grow virtuous40. The love that I have lost on earth I will set among the stars. It shall be my beacon41 till the day I die."
"We are too delicate and timorous42 to bear a part in the active struggles of life; but it is a woman's office to raise and purify the thoughts of those who do. You, whose strong natures are formed for warfare43, cannot be so sensitive as we are to every spot that dims the brightness of your armor. It is easy for me, before one whom I have loved as I have loved you, to hold this tone, and be borne up for a time above the thought of grief and renouncement44. But it is a different task to still, through all a lifetime, the longings45 of a woman's heart, and the impatient surgings of a woman's temperament46. This is the task assigned me, and I accept it. Life—action—are before you. Patience is my medicine; the slow talisman47 which must open in the end my door of promise."
Morton pressed her hand to his lips.
"'There is some soul of goodness in things evil.' A sorrow under which, feebly borne, the mind would wither25 to the earth, borne well will lift it above the clouds. Do not believe that I have deceived any one. He knows on what terms he takes me. I feel respect, esteem48, confidence, warm friendship for him."
"May you never be undeceived," thought Morton to himself.
"But for any more ardent love,—that, I told him, was buried in the grave with you."
She was silent for a moment, and then went on.
"It will not be wise, or right, for us to see each other often. In time, you will meet some one with whom you can forget the pain of this separation."
Morton shook his head.
"Yes—at least I trust you will. But we can never forget what we have been to each other. Our reality is melted into a dream, but we must not allow it to remain a dream. Let it be to us a fountain of high thoughts, whose streams may water all our lives."
"You are an alchemist, Edith," said Morton; "you have found the secret to change lead and iron into pure gold. And yet you make me feel, more than ever, if that can be, what a crown I have lost."
When Morton left the house, after a half hour's interview, the agitation49 with which he had entered it had sunk into quiet; for an influence had fallen upon him as soothing50 and elevating as if he had been listening to the paschal music in the chapel51 of the choir52 at St. Peter's. And as an aeronaut, tossed among tempestuous53 clouds, is borne of a sudden above the turmoil, and floats serene54 in a calmer sky, so the troubled mind of Morton felt itself buoyed55 up for a space above the tumult56 of passionate and bitter thought.
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1
converse
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| vi.谈话，谈天，闲聊；adv.相反的，相反 | |
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foam
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| v./n.泡沫，起泡沫 | |
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conjectured
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| 推测，猜测，猜想( conjecture的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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diplomacy
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| n.外交；外交手腕，交际手腕 | |
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accomplished
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| adj.有才艺的；有造诣的；达到了的 | |
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6
treacherous
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| adj.不可靠的，有暗藏的危险的；adj.背叛的，背信弃义的 | |
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7
banished
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| v.放逐，驱逐( banish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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8
mediate
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| vi.调解，斡旋；vt.经调解解决；经斡旋促成 | |
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9
precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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verge
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| n.边，边缘；v.接近，濒临 | |
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11
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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12
chasm
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| n.深坑，断层，裂口，大分岐，利害冲突 | |
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13
bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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14
evoked
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| [医]诱发的 | |
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15
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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16
doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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17
utterance
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| n.用言语表达，话语，言语 | |
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18
citadel
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| n.城堡；堡垒；避难所 | |
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19
suspense
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| n.（对可能发生的事）紧张感，担心，挂虑 | |
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20
gall
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| v.使烦恼，使焦躁，难堪；n.磨难 | |
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21
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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22
reins
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| 感情，激情； 缰( rein的名词复数 )； 控制手段； 掌管； （成人带着幼儿走路以防其走失时用的）保护带 | |
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23
victoriously
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| adv.获胜地，胜利地 | |
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24
withering
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| 使人畏缩的，使人害羞的，使人难堪的 | |
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25
wither
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| vt.使凋谢，使衰退，(用眼神气势等)使畏缩；vi.枯萎，衰退，消亡 | |
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26
gliding
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| v. 滑翔 adj. 滑动的 | |
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27
turmoil
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| n.骚乱，混乱，动乱 | |
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28
purport
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| n.意义，要旨，大要；v.意味著，做为...要旨，要领是... | |
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29
ardent
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，强烈的，烈性的 | |
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30
wrought
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| v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的 | |
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31
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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32
vigor
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| n.活力，精力，元气 | |
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33
anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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34
zeal
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| n.热心，热情，热忱 | |
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35
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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36
maturity
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| n.成熟；完成；(支票、债券等)到期 | |
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37
quelled
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| v.（用武力）制止，结束，镇压( quell的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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38
chivalry
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| n.骑士气概，侠义；（男人）对女人彬彬有礼，献殷勤 | |
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39
constrained
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| adj.束缚的,节制的 | |
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40
virtuous
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| adj.有品德的，善良的，贞洁的，有效力的 | |
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41
beacon
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| n.烽火，（警告用的）闪火灯，灯塔 | |
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42
timorous
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| adj.胆怯的，胆小的 | |
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43
warfare
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| n.战争(状态)；斗争；冲突 | |
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44
renouncement
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| n.否认，拒绝 | |
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45
longings
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| 渴望，盼望( longing的名词复数 ) | |
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46
temperament
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| n.气质，性格，性情 | |
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47
talisman
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| n.避邪物，护身符 | |
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48
esteem
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| n.尊敬，尊重；vt.尊重，敬重；把…看作 | |
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49
agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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50
soothing
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| adj.慰藉的；使人宽心的；镇静的 | |
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51
chapel
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| n.小教堂，殡仪馆 | |
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52
choir
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| n.唱诗班，唱诗班的席位，合唱团，舞蹈团；v.合唱 | |
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53
tempestuous
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| adj.狂暴的 | |
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54
serene
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| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
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55
buoyed
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| v.使浮起( buoy的过去式和过去分词 )；支持；为…设浮标；振奋…的精神 | |
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56
tumult
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| n.喧哗；激动，混乱；吵闹 | |
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