“Can any thing be more ridiculous,” says N——, “than to trick a man out in his bed clothes after his death?” “Nothing,” replied T——; “unless it be to order a fantastical dress at a greater expence on purpose, as if the dead would not be satisfied with the clothes they wore when alive, but delighted in long flowing robes in a particular style of their own.”
T—— has long resided abroad, and now prefers many foreign customs to those[259] of his own country, which frequently involves him in disputes with his countrymen.
The Princess of —— drove past. “There she goes,” says N——, “with her cavalieros, her volantis, and all the splendour of a sovereign; yet the wife of a plain English gentleman is in a far more enviable situation. With all her titles and her high rank, she is a meer servant of the Queen’s, a dependant10 on the caprice of another; a frown from her Majesty11 would annihilate12 her.” “Those who are nothing, exclusive of court favour,” replied T——, “ought not be censured14 for devoting their time to court attendance. But did you never hear of any who are dazzled with the glitter of court shackels in the boasted land of liberty; people whom riches, rank, and the most flattering favours of fortune cannot make independent; whose minds seem the more[260] abject15, as their situation lays them under the less necessity of remaining in servitude; who, withered16 with age, and repining with envy, sacrifice every domestic duty, and stalk around the mansions17 of royalty18, as ghosts are said to haunt those abodes19 in which they most delighted when they enjoyed life and vigour20?” “Well, well,” says N——, “let us say no more about them, since we are agreed, that, of all the old tapestry21 of courts, those grotesque22 figures, who, without the confidence of those they serve, continue to the last exhibiting their antique countenances24 at birthday balls, and in the assemblies of youth and beauty, are the most ridiculous.” At that instant the Queen passed in her coach with the royal children, and N—— made some comparative remarks in his usual style; to which T—— replied, “In this particular I acknowledge the happiness of Great Britain. I presume not to make comparisons; the great character[261] you have mentioned defies censure13, and is far superior to my praise. But I must observe, it appears singular that you, who affect to despise all other countries, and seem of opinion, that what is most valuable in nature is always the product of England, should bring your brightest illustration of that opinion from Germany.”
T——, perceiving the advantage he had gained over his antagonist25, proceeded vigorously to censure, what he called, the absurd partiality of the English in their own favour; and observed, that it would be fortunate for them, if the other nations of Europe would allow them but a few of the numerous good qualities which they so lavishly26 attribute to themselves. He severely27 attacked the common people, and denied them even the character of good-nature, which they have been thought to possess in an eminent28 degree. He declared them to be rough and insolent29 in[262] their manners (for the truth of this he appealed to the opinion of all their neighbours), cruel in their dispositions30 (as a proof of which he instanced some of their favourite diversions), and absurd in their prejudices, which appears by their hatred31 and contempt of other nations; by all of whom, he asserted, they were in return most cordially abhorred32. “How, indeed, can it be otherwise,” continued he, “considering the rough, boisterous33 nature of their weather?” He then expatiated34 on the fertility of Italy, and the mild serenity35 of the climate; to which he partly attributed the fertile genius and mild character of the Italians. “No doubt,” he said, “moral causes might contribute to the same effect; for more pains were taken to cultivate and encourage good and quiet dispositions in the common people here than in England. They were accustomed to perform their religious duties more regularly; they had frequent opportunities of hearing the most excellent music in the[263] churches; they were instructed in history by orators36 in the street, and were made acquainted with the beauties of their best poets in the same manner. All these causes united must necessarily enlarge their minds, and make them the most gentle, humane37, and ingenious people in the world.” N—— shook his head, as if he laid little stress on the others reasoning. For my own part, I remained silent, being desirous that the dispute should go on between the two who had begun it.
Continuing our walk a little without the town, we saw a crowd of people looking over a wall, which formed one side of a square, expressly built for the purpose of bating cattle with bull dogs. It is imagined that this renders their flesh more tender and agreeable to the taste; and this is considered as a sufficient reason for torturing great numbers of bulls, oxen, and cows, before they are slaughtered38 for the markets; we found a multitude of spectators enjoying this amusement. “Pray,”[264] says Mr. N——, addressing himself to T——, “do you imagine this humane practice, and the complacency which these refined spectators seem to take in beholding39 it, proceed from the mildness of the climate, the pains bestowed in teaching the people the duties of christianity, the enlargement of their minds by history and poetry, or from the gentle influence of music upon their dispositions?” Then turning from Mr. T—— to me, he continued, “Not satisfied with knocking the poor animals on the head, those unfeeling epicures40 put them to an hour’s additional torture, merely to gratify a caprice of their corrupted41 palates.”
“Of all subjects,” replied T——, recovering himself from the confusion into which N——’s questions had thrown him, “those who take upon them to be the panegyrists of the English nation, ought to avoid mentioning that species of epicurism[265] which depends on eating, lest they be put in mind of whipping pigs to death, their manner of collaring brawn42, crimping fish, and other refinements43 peculiar44 to that humane good-natured people.”
N—— was just going to reply, when a large bull, rendered outrageous45 by the stones which the populace were throwing at him, ran suddenly towards the gate at the instant the keepers were opening it on some other account; which threw them into such confusion, that they had not time to shut it before the bull burst out on the multitude. He now became an object of terror to those who the moment before had looked on him as an object of mirth. The mighty46 lords of the creation, who consider other animals as formed entirely47 for their pastime, their attire48, their food, fled in crowds from one quadruped, and would gladly have fallen on their knees and worshipped him, like so many Egyptians[266] adoring Apis, if by so doing they could have hoped to deprecate the just wrath49 of the incensed50 animal.—They found safety at length, not in their own courage or address, but in the superior boldness and agility51 of other animals, who were leagued with man against him. He was surrounded by dogs, who attacked him on all sides—he killed some outright52, tossed and wounded many more; but perceiving his own strength diminishing, and the number of his enemies increasing every moment, he threw himself into the sea, and there found a temporary protection from the fury of his persecutors.—But the dogs were instigated53 to follow; they at length drove him from this last asylum54; and the poor, torn, bleeding, exhausted55 animal was forced ashore56, three or four of the most furious of the dogs hanging at different parts of his head and neck. When they were removed, he raised his honest countenance23, and threw an indignant[267] look upon the rabble57, as if to upbraid58 them for such a return for his own labours, and all the essential services which his whole species render to mankind. Upon my soul I felt the reproach. We could not bear his looks, but sneaked59 away without feeling much pride on account of our near connection with those lords of the creation, whom we had just beheld60 exerting their prerogative61.
We walked along a considerable time without speaking. N—— broke silence at last: “Well,” said he, “those amiable62 creatures whom we have quitted, are what they call human beings;—they are more, they are Neapolitans, men who are moved with the concord63 of sweet sounds; from which I conclude (Shakespear may say what he pleases), that such men are as fit for treasons, stratagems64, and spoils, as those who never heard softer melody than that of marrow-bones and cleavers65.”
[268]
“This fondness for barbarous amusements,” said I, “cannot be stated exclusively to the account of Neapolitans, of English, or of any other particular people. I am afraid the charge lies against mankind in general; from whatever motive66 it arises, a large proportion of the individuals in all countries have displayed a decided67 taste for diversions which may be ranged in this class.”
“It ought to be remembered, however,” says T——, “that those fellows with their dogs, who have been tormenting68 the bull, are butchers, and the lowest of the vulgar of this country; whereas, among those who order fish to be crimped, and pigs to be whipped to death, as well as among those who formerly69 attended Broughton’s amphitheatre, and still attend cockpits, will be found people of the first rank in England.”
[269]
“Pray,” said N——, addressing himself to me, “did you ever see a cocagna?”
I acknowledged I never had.
“Then,” continued he, “I beg leave to give you an idea of it. It is a Neapolitan entertainment, relished70 by people of the first rank in this polished country; where the very vagrants71 in the street are instructed in history, and the human mind is refined by poetry, softened72 by music, and elevated by religion. The cocagna—Pray mark me—the cocagna is an entertainment given to the people four succeeding Sundays during the carnival73. Opposite to the palace, a kind of wooden amphitheatre is erected74. This being covered with branches of trees, bushes, and various plants, real and artificial, has the appearance of a green hill. On this hill are little buildings, ornamented with pillars of loaves of bread, with joints75 of meat, and dried[270] fish, varnished76, and curiously77 arranged by way of capitals. Among the trees and bushes are some oxen, a considerable number of calves78, sheep, hogs79, and lambs, all alive, and tied to posts. There are, besides, a great number of living turkies, geese, hens, pigeons, and other fowls80, nailed by the wings to the scaffolding. Certain Heathen Deities81 appear also occasionally upon this hill, but not with a design to protect it, as you shall see immediately. The guards are drawn82 up in three ranks, to keep off the populace. The Royal Family, with all the nobility of the court, crowd the windows and balconies of the palace, to enjoy this magnificent sight. When his Majesty waves his handkerchief, the guards open to the right and left; the rabble pour in from all quarters, and the entertainment commences. You may easily conceive what a delightful83 sight it must be, to see several thousand hungry, half-naked lazzaroni rush in like a torrent84, destroy[271] the whole fabric85 of loaves, fishes, and joints of meat; overturn the Heathen Deities, for the honour of Christianity; pluck the fowls, at the expence of their wings, from the posts to which they were nailed; and, in the fury of their struggling and fighting for their prey86, often tearing the miserable87 animals to pieces, and sometimes stabbing each other.”
“You ought, in candour, to add,” interrupted Mr. T——, “that, though formerly they were fixed88 to the posts alive, yet of late the larger cattle have been previously89 killed.”—“And pray, my good Sir,” said N——, “will you be so obliging as to inform me, what crime the poor lambs and fowls have committed, that they should be torn in pieces alive?” “This piece of humanity,” continued he, “recalls to my memory a similar instance, in a certain[272] ingenious gentleman, who proposed, as the best and most effectual method of sweeping90 chimnies, to place a large goose at the top; and then, by a string tied around her feet, to pull the animal gently down to the hearth91. The sagacious projector92 asserted, that the goose, being extremely averse93 to this method of entering a house, would struggle against it with all her might; and, during this resistance, would move her wings with such force and rapidity, as could not fail to sweep the chimney completely.” “Good God, Sir,” cried a lady, who was present when this new method was proposed, “How cruel would that be to the poor goose!” “Why, Madam,” replied the gentleman, “if you think my method cruel to the goose, a couple of ducks will do.”
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1
corpse
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| n.尸体，死尸 | |
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bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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dressing
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| n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料 | |
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4
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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5
ruffles
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| 褶裥花边( ruffle的名词复数 ) | |
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6
gracefully
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| ad.大大方方地；优美地 | |
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ornamented
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| adj.花式字体的v.装饰，点缀，美化( ornament的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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profusion
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| n.挥霍；丰富 | |
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privately
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| adv.以私人的身份，悄悄地，私下地 | |
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10
dependant
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| n.依靠的，依赖的，依赖他人生活者 | |
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majesty
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| n.雄伟，壮丽，庄严，威严；最高权威，王权 | |
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annihilate
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| v.使无效；毁灭；取消 | |
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13
censure
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| v./n.责备；非难；责难 | |
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censured
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| v.指责，非难，谴责( censure的过去式 ) | |
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abject
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| adj.极可怜的，卑屈的 | |
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withered
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| adj. 枯萎的，干瘪的，（人身体的部分器官）因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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mansions
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| n.宅第，公馆，大厦( mansion的名词复数 ) | |
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royalty
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| n.皇家，皇族 | |
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abodes
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| 住所( abode的名词复数 )； 公寓； （在某地的）暂住； 逗留 | |
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vigour
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| （=vigor）n.智力，体力，精力 | |
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tapestry
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| n.挂毯，丰富多采的画面 | |
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grotesque
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| adj.怪诞的，丑陋的；n.怪诞的图案，怪人（物） | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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countenances
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| n.面容( countenance的名词复数 )；表情；镇静；道义支持 | |
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antagonist
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| n.敌人，对抗者，对手 | |
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lavishly
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| adv.慷慨地，大方地 | |
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severely
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| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
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eminent
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| adj.显赫的，杰出的，有名的，优良的 | |
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insolent
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| adj.傲慢的，无理的 | |
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dispositions
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| 安排( disposition的名词复数 )； 倾向； （财产、金钱的）处置； 气质 | |
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hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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abhorred
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| v.憎恶( abhor的过去式和过去分词 )；（厌恶地）回避；拒绝；淘汰 | |
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boisterous
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| adj.喧闹的，欢闹的 | |
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expatiated
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| v.详述，细说( expatiate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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serenity
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| n.宁静，沉着，晴朗 | |
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orators
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| n.演说者，演讲家( orator的名词复数 ) | |
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humane
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| adj.人道的，富有同情心的 | |
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38
slaughtered
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| v.屠杀，杀戮，屠宰( slaughter的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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beholding
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| v.看，注视( behold的现在分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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40
epicures
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| n.讲究饮食的人( epicure的名词复数 ) | |
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corrupted
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| （使）败坏( corrupt的过去式和过去分词 )； （使）腐化； 引起（计算机文件等的）错误； 破坏 | |
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brawn
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| n.体力 | |
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refinements
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| n.（生活）风雅；精炼( refinement的名词复数 )；改良品；细微的改良；优雅或高贵的动作 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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45
outrageous
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| adj.无理的，令人不能容忍的 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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attire
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| v.穿衣，装扮[同]array；n.衣着；盛装 | |
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wrath
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| n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒 | |
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incensed
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| 盛怒的 | |
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51
agility
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| n.敏捷，活泼 | |
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52
outright
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| adv.坦率地；彻底地；立即；adj.无疑的；彻底的 | |
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53
instigated
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| v.使（某事物）开始或发生，鼓动( instigate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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54
asylum
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| n.避难所，庇护所，避难 | |
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exhausted
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| adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的 | |
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56
ashore
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| adv.在(向)岸上，上岸 | |
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57
rabble
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| n.乌合之众，暴民；下等人 | |
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58
upbraid
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| v.斥责，责骂，责备 | |
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59
sneaked
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| v.潜行( sneak的过去式和过去分词 )；偷偷溜走；（儿童向成人）打小报告；告状 | |
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60
beheld
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| v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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prerogative
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| n.特权 | |
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amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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concord
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| n.和谐；协调 | |
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stratagems
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| n.诡计，计谋( stratagem的名词复数 )；花招 | |
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cleavers
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| n.猪殃殃（其茎、实均有钩刺）；砍肉刀，剁肉刀( cleaver的名词复数 ) | |
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motive
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| n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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tormenting
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| 使痛苦的，使苦恼的 | |
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formerly
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| adv.从前，以前 | |
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70
relished
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| v.欣赏( relish的过去式和过去分词 )；从…获得乐趣；渴望 | |
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vagrants
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| 流浪者( vagrant的名词复数 )； 无业游民； 乞丐； 无赖 | |
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softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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carnival
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| n.嘉年华会，狂欢，狂欢节，巡回表演 | |
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74
ERECTED
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| adj. 直立的，竖立的，笔直的 vt. 使 ... 直立，建立 | |
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joints
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| 接头( joint的名词复数 )； 关节； 公共场所（尤指价格低廉的饮食和娱乐场所） （非正式）； 一块烤肉 （英式英语） | |
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varnished
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| 浸渍过的，涂漆的 | |
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77
curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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78
calves
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| n.(calf的复数)笨拙的男子，腓；腿肚子( calf的名词复数 )；牛犊；腓；小腿肚v.生小牛( calve的第三人称单数 )；（冰川）崩解；生（小牛等），产（犊）；使（冰川）崩解 | |
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79
hogs
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| n.（尤指喂肥供食用的）猪( hog的名词复数 )；（供食用的）阉公猪；彻底地做某事；自私的或贪婪的人 | |
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80
fowls
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| 鸟( fowl的名词复数 )； 禽肉； 既不是这； 非驴非马 | |
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81
deities
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| n.神，女神( deity的名词复数 )；神祗；神灵；神明 | |
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82
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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torrent
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| n.激流，洪流；爆发，(话语等的)连发 | |
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85
fabric
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| n.织物，织品，布；构造，结构，组织 | |
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86
prey
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| n.被掠食者，牺牲者，掠食；v.捕食，掠夺，折磨 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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previously
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| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
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sweeping
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| adj.范围广大的，一扫无遗的 | |
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91
hearth
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| n.壁炉炉床，壁炉地面 | |
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projector
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| n.投影机，放映机，幻灯机 | |
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averse
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| adj.厌恶的；反对的，不乐意的 | |
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