Though it took us so long to get acquainted, we rather “cottoned to” one another after the ice was broken, and for the[243] last twenty years have been great chums. In that time we have knocked about the world a good bit together. Really, I mean, not like our first travel. In the younger days he used to drop in on me every now and then with a serious air, and remark:
“Say, want to go to Shanghai this evening? Well, shut your eyes. Presto3! change! here we are! Now, come around, and we’ll see the sights.”
And there we were in Shanghai, using our eyes and holding our noses. But all that, you understand, was one of his sleight-of-hand tricks. It was very pleasant and inexpensive travel, and I learned a good deal from it; but the grind of it was that I could not bring back any of the wonderful things we saw in the bazars. I’d just about as soon not travel as to be unable to collect trophies4 from the country I am visiting. It was really not his fault, of course. He is the most accommodating fellow in the world; but even jugglery5 has its limits; and after a friend has given you a trip to any part of the world you choose, and brought you back safe and sound, and paid all your expenses out of his own pocket, no well bred guest could have the face to ask him to bring also a cargo6 of all sorts of truck. When I used to groan7 at coming[244] away empty-handed, he would say frankly8: “Sorry my boy, but it really can’t be helped. I’m glad to take you anywhere, and make it as pleasant for you as I can; but my pass is for passengers only, and the baggage business is strictly9 prohibited. It is too bulky; and then think what trouble I should get into with the customs officers if we went to bringing in such cargoes10 outside the regular channels.”
In later years we have pretty thoroughly11 made up for that aggravation12; for nowadays I am the host, and wouldn’t think of starting on a journey without inviting13 him to come along; and we bring back all sorts of interesting plunder14 from everywhere, until the house we occupy together looks more like a museum than anything else. He himself admits that it’s a good deal ahead of the old way; but even the delight of collecting—and no boy or man half knows what life is until he “collects” something, and earnestly—even that pleasure would not compensate15 me for the loss of his company. He is the very best traveling companion I ever found; so ready to do whatever you wish, so full of information, so helpful in emergencies of any sort. Some people who have traveled with him have tried to tell me that he cowardly deserted[245] them in time of danger; but there must be two sides to this story, for I have seen him in a great many tight pinches, and he was clear-headed and quick as a wink16 to do the right thing. To tell the truth, he has saved my life a score of times, all by his dexterity17; so you may be sure that when people talk of his running away and leaving them in the lurch18, I resent the imputation19, and conclude they were the ones really to blame. In knocking about the frontiers I have found a good many men, of several different colors, who make you feel, “Well, if it came to a fight for life, with my back against a rock, that would be a good fellow to have beside me.” But among all those brave men—all of whom I admire, and some of whom I love—I would rather have him by me, in a pinch, than any other one.
You must not think from this that my friend is a desperado, or a professional fighter, or anything of the sort. On the contrary, his disposition20 is as peaceful as his habits are quiet, and he hates any sort of a row. It is only in the crises which any man may meet, and every man must sometimes meet who travels outside the beaten tracks, when it is necessary and manful to fight, that he suddenly turns combative21 and[246] pitches in. Ordinarily, he is a plain, practical business man, who, for his own part, might have retired22 long ago, but remains23 in the firm for the sake of the junior partners. He works harder than any of them—and then, when business hours are over, diverts himself and his friends by little exhibitions of his matchless skill as a conjurer. At such times he likes to forget work and worry altogether, and to be jolly and free of care and full of pranks24 as a boy. I have seen people so inconsiderate as to insist on boring him by “talking shop” out of office hours, but he always resents it. He is rather nervous and very impressionable, apt to fall into the mood of those who are with him; and he sometimes gets so tired and confused as to show very little of his usual wisdom. Indeed, I have seen him, when very weary, make a flat failure of some trick at magic, which ordinarily he could do with astounding25 cleverness.
Undoubtedly26 his greatest claim to public respect is in the quiet, every-day wisdom of his practical career; but his gifts as a magician are so brilliant and so fascinating that one naturally thinks of them first. And, in spite of his long business training, there isn’t a mercenary streak27 in him. Some of his most wonderful performances[247] are given gratis28, and he even seems to prefer an audience of one to what the managers would call “a paying house.”
Eh? You would like to know what he can do that is so much bigger than the tricks of the wizards that get their $200 a night? Well, if I were to tell you all I’ve seen him do, we wouldn’t be done this side of 1900; but here are some few things, and if you do not admit that Herrmann and all the rest are mere2 greenhorns to him, I’ll agree never to go near another of his performances.
I never knew him to fry eggs in a stove-pipe hat, nor to pick twenty-dollar gold pieces out of people’s eyes, nor to chop off a man’s head and then stick it on again, nor any of those threadbare sensations, though he sometimes practices simple illusions like making things appear where they are not, or causing them to seem not to be where you really know they are. But those are trifles, just to keep his hand in; his claim as champion conjurer of the world rests on very different accomplishments29. For instance, one of his favorite tricks is to take a careless fly-away boy and turn him into a strong, wise man—turn him “for keeps,” too. I’ve seen him do that a hundred times, and you will agree that that is[248] a very useful trick, as well as a very difficult one. When one sees how smoothly30 he does it, one is doubly sorry that he doesn’t get all the boys up on the stage and experiment on them; but, of course, a complete change of personality is a serious thing, and he would not be justified31 in taking any such liberties without the full consent of the subject.
An almost equally remarkable32 trick, and one he is equally fond of, is to take a thoroughly homely33 girl and put a brand-new face on her. Not exactly a beautiful face, for he says that is none of his business, but a face that every one likes to look at. Yet I know girls so foolish as to decline treatment by this great specialist, and to think cosmetics34 better.
My friend’s hobby for experimenting upon young people, and his innate35 fondness for them, as shown by his patience with their frequently slighting treatment of him, made me remark one evening: “How is it you are so good-natured with these rattleheads? Nobody else would have the patience. Even when a fellow has snubbed you in the most discourteous36 way you seem to bear no grudge37, but to be always ready to do him a good turn if there is a chance.”
“Well,” said my friend, slowly, dropping[249] a new sleight-of-hand he was practicing, “you see, I was once young and a fool myself, and had to grow and develop; and the process was so tedious that I’m not apt to forget. And, somehow, I feel as if I should always keep young in spite of the years. There is always something to interest me, and that keeps me from growing old.”
“By the way,” I put in, “when did you begin conjuring? Such marvelous proficiency38 as yours can have been attained39 only by lifelong practice. Did you take it up deliberately40, or drift into it by chance?”
My friend gazed soberly for a moment at the crackling cedar41 sticks in my adobe42 fireplace—he had come out to visit me in New Mexico—before replying.
“Do you know, this reminds me very strongly of my own early life. These Indians who are your neighbors, this simple way of life, recall old times. You might not believe it, but my own folks were nomad43 savages45, and my infancy46 was passed among scenes compared to which your surroundings here are highly civilized47. Yes, I don’t wonder you are astonished; in sober earnest, you cannot imagine how brutal48 and squalid were the surroundings. Nothing to wear, very little to eat, and that little always raw; in fact, not one of the conveniences[250] which even an Indian now deems necessary to his existence. Why, we hadn’t even a way to warm ourselves; and as for houses or clothing, they were quite unknown. Education? Not a bit more than the monkeys have. I was nearly a grown man before I learned to read and write.”
“Why, you have risen even further than from rail splitter to president!”
“Ah, Lincoln got as high as man can get. We were very dear friends, and I believe I helped him materially in the great crises through which he was called upon to lead the nation. At any rate, he always consulted me before taking any important step.”
Now in any one else, this would have seemed the end of impudence49 and mendacity, if not half blasphemy50. But when my friend the magician said it, I knew it must be true. He went on in his quiet way:
“But we were talking of my youth. You asked how and when I first took up conjuring. To tell the truth, I can hardly remember. I was certainly very young, and the discovery of my powers was quite accidental. One of my first tricks was very simple; but perhaps it was most important of all. It lifted my people from a lower plane than any savage44 now occupies, to high[251] civilization. Every person every day uses that little invention of mine—and 99 per cent of them without stopping to thank the inventor. By simply taking two sticks and rubbing them together—this way—I produced a substance which had never been seen on earth before, but which is now the first absolute necessity in every household. If it were abolished, the world’s progress would stop. It’s a very curious substance. The materials of which it is composed are invisible and intangible; but it can be seen further and felt more than anything else in the world. You can’t touch it; and yet, here, if you could not sometimes almost touch it you would perish. You have to feed it as carefully as you would a horse, and much oftener; and, unlike any other laborer51 I know of, it will never work between meals. But while it eats, it will work like mad. Another queer thing about it is that it would live forever if you fed it forever; but it dies as soon as it stops eating. But you can bring it to life again in a minute, strong and active as ever. It is terribly mischievous52, too; if you give it proper attention, it cuts up no pranks; but if you are careless, it sometimes sneaks53 off and does more damage in one short romp54 than a hundred men could replace by a lifetime’s earnings55. Then it’s[252] curious what a hatred56 it has for a still commoner substance which I didn’t invent. Bring the two together and there is a noisy and desperate fight, and one or other of the combatants is annihilated57. Yet if you place them just near enough to each other, but so confined that they cannot grapple, they work together with an energy which I saw move a hundred buildings once—each building over thirty feet long. Ah, you wonder more at some of my other tricks, probably because you are less familiar with them; but I tell you that is just about the biggest single thing I ever did. There would have been neither geography nor history; we should never have heard of C?sar or Napoleon or Washington or much of anybody else, if I hadn’t stumbled on that little secret of rubbing the sticks, while I was still what you might well call a green, awkward boy.”
“Yes,” I admitted, “I guess, after all, your fire trick is about the greatest thing of all—though I hadn’t just looked at it in that light before. Really, about every single thing we depend on depends on that. And that was about your first turn in magic?”
“Ye-es, perhaps the first important one. It was a great start, too, for after that I advanced[253] pretty rapidly in proficiency, until I became, as you know, able to do pretty nearly whatever I try.”
That is not putting it too strongly—he can do almost anything he seriously turns his hand to. After what I have seen him accomplish, there are few things I would deem it hopeless for him to attempt. Our stage magicians are at their wits’ end to devise some new trick; but he invents a thousand a day—the poorest more wonderful than their masterpiece. Now there’s his own life preserver, for instance—a ridiculous little affair in something like thirty pieces; the simplest thing, yet of almost infinite uses. It is, among many other remarkable qualities, the greatest preservative58 known. An article so ephemeral that a breath of air would whisk it away, so perishable59 that not all the Arctic ice could save it, can by this means be kept a thousand years—aye, or ten thousand, for that matter—as good as new. Yes, a man’s very speech may become visible and eternal—all because my friend once did a little conjuring for a Greek, who raised most remarkable harvests from seed our florists60 never handle. I don’t know just where it does come from nowadays—for we still see that sort of crop once in a while. Perhaps[254] Cadmus himself was a politician, and the dragon’s teeth are an heirloom in the family.
Those early conjurings are not more astounding than the new ones he is constantly devising. Nowadays he can sit down in Washington or London or Berlin, and, by a few taps on a table, turn a million men into a machine for destruction. He will take your ear in New York and hold it to the lips of your friend in Chicago, and then make it as easy for the Chicagoan to hear what you say in reply. Your voice, which, so far as any ability of yours goes, is lost forever as soon as spilled, he can bottle up so perfectly61 that your great-grandchildren’s great-grandchildren shall listen to what you said two hundred years before they were born, and hear it in your very tones. You see, my friend is making life a good deal larger, and death a good deal smaller—and he is not done yet!
But I should be. There is simply no use trying to enumerate62 his magic, for it has no end. Besides, you can get a much better notion of his powers by watching him than thus at second hand from me. But how are you going to find him, when he doesn’t advertise? Why, of course! How stupid of me to have forgotten to tell you that his name is—Thought.
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1
conjuring
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| n.魔术 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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presto
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| adv.急速地；n.急板乐段；adj.急板的 | |
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trophies
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| n.（为竞赛获胜者颁发的）奖品( trophy的名词复数 )；奖杯；（尤指狩猎或战争中获得的）纪念品；（用于比赛或赛跑名称）奖 | |
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jugglery
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| n.杂耍，把戏 | |
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cargo
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| n.(一只船或一架飞机运载的)货物 | |
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groan
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| vi./n.呻吟，抱怨；(发出)呻吟般的声音 | |
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frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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strictly
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| adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地 | |
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cargoes
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| n.（船或飞机装载的）货物( cargo的名词复数 )；大量，重负 | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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aggravation
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| n.烦恼，恼火 | |
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inviting
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| adj.诱人的，引人注目的 | |
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plunder
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| vt.劫掠财物，掠夺；n.劫掠物，赃物；劫掠 | |
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compensate
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| vt.补偿，赔偿；酬报 vi.弥补；补偿；抵消 | |
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wink
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| n.眨眼，使眼色，瞬间；v.眨眼，使眼色，闪烁 | |
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dexterity
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| n.(手的)灵巧，灵活 | |
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lurch
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| n.突然向前或旁边倒；v.蹒跚而行 | |
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imputation
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| n.归罪，责难 | |
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disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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combative
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| adj.好战的；好斗的 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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pranks
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| n.玩笑，恶作剧( prank的名词复数 ) | |
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astounding
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| adj.使人震惊的vt.使震惊，使大吃一惊astound的现在分词) | |
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undoubtedly
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| adv.确实地，无疑地 | |
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streak
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| n.条理，斑纹，倾向，少许，痕迹；v.加条纹，变成条纹，奔驰，快速移动 | |
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gratis
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| adj.免费的 | |
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accomplishments
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| n.造诣；完成( accomplishment的名词复数 )；技能；成绩；成就 | |
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smoothly
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| adv.平滑地，顺利地，流利地，流畅地 | |
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justified
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| a.正当的，有理的 | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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homely
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| adj.家常的，简朴的；不漂亮的 | |
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cosmetics
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| n.化妆品 | |
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innate
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| adj.天生的，固有的，天赋的 | |
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discourteous
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| adj.不恭的，不敬的 | |
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grudge
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| n.不满，怨恨，妒嫉；vt.勉强给，不情愿做 | |
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proficiency
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| n.精通，熟练，精练 | |
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attained
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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41
cedar
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| n.雪松，香柏(木) | |
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42
adobe
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| n.泥砖，土坯，美国Adobe公司 | |
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43
nomad
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| n.游牧部落的人，流浪者，游牧民 | |
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44
savage
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| adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人 | |
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savages
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| 未开化的人，野蛮人( savage的名词复数 ) | |
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infancy
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| n.婴儿期；幼年期；初期 | |
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47
civilized
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| a.有教养的，文雅的 | |
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brutal
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| adj.残忍的，野蛮的，不讲理的 | |
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impudence
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| n.厚颜无耻；冒失；无礼 | |
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50
blasphemy
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| n.亵渎，渎神 | |
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laborer
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| n.劳动者，劳工 | |
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52
mischievous
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| adj.调皮的，恶作剧的，有害的，伤人的 | |
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53
sneaks
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| abbr.sneakers (tennis shoes) 胶底运动鞋（网球鞋）v.潜行( sneak的第三人称单数 )；偷偷溜走；（儿童向成人）打小报告；告状 | |
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romp
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| n.欢闹；v.嬉闹玩笑 | |
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earnings
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| n.工资收人；利润，利益，所得 | |
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hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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annihilated
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| v.（彻底）消灭( annihilate的过去式和过去分词 )；使无效；废止；彻底击溃 | |
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58
preservative
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| n.防腐剂；防腐料；保护料；预防药 | |
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perishable
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| adj.（尤指食物）易腐的，易坏的 | |
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florists
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| n.花商，花农，花卉研究者( florist的名词复数 ) | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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enumerate
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| v.列举，计算，枚举，数 | |
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