CHAPTER XXXII THE SORROWING MAN

 A WOMAN in Vladikavkaz, being told she could not live long, grew so much in love with the idea of death that she ordered her coffin¹ in advance, and lay in it in her bedroom and had a mock funeral, just to see what it felt like. That was an incident rather typical of the life of the intelligentia of the place. There are many nerveless, sad, despairing people there, people with no apparent means of happiness, people of morbid² imagination and a will to be unhappy. All around them Nature has outdone herself with seductive charm; the sun flashes on the mountains, the myriad³ flowers smile in the valleys, the happy peasantry flood the town with jovial⁴, laughing faces, but all in vain. “The fact is,” as I said to Ivan Savilief, “Adam was only the first modern man; the peasants are still living in their Edens. All your modern Adam and Eves have got to get saved somehow.” The Baptist, who, it must be remembered, was still a peasant, and by no means one of the educated classes, was very happy. And his notion was that the sad people needed to believe; they needed faith. 256They got as near to happiness as it was possible for them. They got as far as feet could carry them, but for the last gulf⁵ they needed wings.

 

Here is a story of a Russian man, one who failed to accomplish his happiness.

 

A certain man had great possessions and great happiness. He had inherited broad lands and gold; he was young and strong and able to enjoy riches; and he had friends and the good opinion of the world. The cup of his happiness was broad and deep and brimming. Behold⁶ what happened to him; there came a time when he achieved the summit of earthly bliss⁷, and then suddenly he lost all and became a man of sorrow.

 

He was a good man. He had kept the laws of God and of man; no one could reproach him. His mind was young and fresh and open to the influences of beauty. His heart and mind were in communion. God looked upon him and smiled, and then suddenly there came a time when, as it were, God turned away His face.

 

This is the story of the change. The man’s life, with its wealth and its adornment⁸, its pillars and its towers, its sumptuous⁹ chambers¹⁰ and domes¹¹ of pleasure was as a precious palace just completed. Within the hall the glories of his youth lay, the crowns and the laurels¹², the shields and the swords. They were cast there, and upon all there was erected¹³ a throne. And then the most beautiful maiden¹⁴ his world could give was seated upon the throne. The palace as perfection 257throbbed—dared to exist. The young man realised for a minute the dizziest heights of happiness.

 

But on his marriage eve he fell.

 

It had been a saying of his boyhood that the condition of happiness is that one follow unfalteringly one’s highest hope. It had always seemed to him that Hope must go on before, that however happy one became there would always be the prospect¹⁵ of further happiness, that one never could catch up hope. And now, behold, he stood at one with his ideal, and he felt that earth had no more to give.

 

On his marriage eve he communed with his heart, and having given thanks to God, as was his wont¹⁶, he fell into a trance. For a space time ceased to exist for him, whilst his soul was borne away from him to unknown powers. When he awoke he was changed. The trouble and doubt that excess of joy had brought him had given way to a sort of exaltation. His light blue eyes were gentle, as if they had looked long upon the soft plumage of wings, and there was a strange radiance within them. It was the light of inspiration, the gleam of the knowledge of God. He walked as one might, having news of a great deliverance.

 

“The condition of happiness is that one follow unfalteringly one’s highest hope,” said he. “And when one comes level with one’s highest hope, God will destroy the old hope and give a new one. There is a dark moment at the summit of one’s mountain, and then suddenly, 258when the last inch upward is achieved, God gives His perfect revelation. The old cup of happiness is dashed to pieces on the rocks when one sees the Grail.”

 

It had come to the knowledge of the man that a greater joy than that afforded by earthly things was possible. He dimly apprehended¹⁷ the coming of a new fortune, of a new opportunity. Some voice within him seemed to cry, “Behold the opportunity comes; the white horse comes riding past your gate; jump on it and ride away! Something comes for which this present happiness is only a preparation. There comes an adventure worth your sword, and a true bride for your heart. There is a narrow portal to be reached, and now, even now, riseth the tide which takes you there. Only once in a lifetime comes the tide that lifts you and puts you on the high seas.”

 

What did it mean?

 

He knelt and communed With his heart. He tried to understand the Voice which spoke¹⁸ to him. He composed his fluttering spirit, and then prayed to God. He prayed, “What must I do, oh, God, to win eternal joy?” He prayed and waited, and his soul grew calm as a broad lake at eve. There came no answer to his prayer, but whilst he waited he became conscious of a new power. The deep silence of the world seemed to have congealed¹⁹, and before him stood a great grey door.

 

259“For each man there is a door to happiness,” said the voice in his heart; “the door is shut, but the key is in the door.”

 

“Yes, the key is in the door,” said he. “I could not have seen the key had I not power to open.”

 

Suddenly, in the calm of his heart, the young man willed to behold God and to attain²⁰ supreme²¹ joy, and he knew that the Vision would be vouchsafed²² to him. But just as he was about to see that which he desired to behold, the Devil, in the shape of a crow, flew across the sky of his soul and alighted in his heart. The lake at eve was ruffled²³, and a whisper like a cold night breeze from the east sped along the surface of it and said, “You will find the true bride for your heart, but does not that mean you must renounce²⁴ this earthly beauty who has just crowned the happiness of your youth? You will become as a little child and begin life again, and forego all the honour that your years and wealth have brought you. If you see God once, nothing less than God will ever satisfy you, and your eyes, having looked on that radiance, will find the world intolerably grey.”

 

Then a great terror sprang up in him like two contrary winds born together in a wood, and it shook his spirit. His soul was stirred up from the bottom so that it lost all its purity, and he prayed, “Oh, Lord, do not show thyself lest nothing hereafter give me joy: it is my will, take this cup from me.” The prayer was 260heard, and the white robe of his transfiguration was caught up into the heavens again.

 

He saw not the Vision.

 

He saw not the Vision, but since that day he cannot be satisfied by anything other than it.

 

So it happened that on his marriage eve he fell from the dizzy heights of happiness and became a man of sorrow. He passed, as it were, out of the favour of God. His estate decayed a little, but even the great wealth which remained was but barren gold. His mind and body grew infirm. With his bride he had no happiness. He lost the good opinion of the world, and those who once were friends pointed²⁵ at him and said, “There goes a failure, a man not yet of middle age, but disillusioned²⁶ and crusty.”

 

The man is now spending the rest of his days and he goes sadly indeed. No other opportunity has come, and he knows in himself he will never be so near again. He has become a lonely man, one who prefers his own company, and likes to look upon the sky, or at the wild things in the woods. He always appears as if he were looking for something he has lost. His eyes are wistful and sorrow—charged, his step heavy, his thoughts slow. He comes nearest to happiness on cloudy days of autumn when he attunes²⁷ himself to Nature. Then he has quiet moments and little pleasures, and accidentally looking at some mouse or shrew scurrying²⁸ among the yellow leaves, he laughs to himself or smiles a little. 261Then suddenly one might see him check himself as he catches sight of the red October sun or some dark, threatening cloud. He remembers his renunciation, his supreme denial, and is again appalled²⁹. Conscience and life will not let him forget, and he sees ever before him the reverse side of the great silent door—the door which is locked, but for which there is no key....

 

The man searches, the man waits. He is like a ghost that may not rest, until a mistake of the old has been set right in the new. Men become his enemies. He desperately³⁰ hates the circumstances of life, the things that made up his former happiness. The face in the picture hates the frame which does not suit.

 

Is it not all in vain! The lost opportunity never returns; the tide never rises the second time; the White Horse never comes past the gate again. “It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” “With man it is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

1 coffin   

n.棺材，灵柩

参考例句：

• When one's coffin is covered,all discussion about him can be settled.盖棺论定。
• The coffin was placed in the grave.那口棺材已安放到坟墓里去了。

2 morbid   

adj.病的；致病的；病态的；可怕的

参考例句：

• Some people have a morbid fascination with crime.一些人对犯罪有一种病态的痴迷。
• It's morbid to dwell on cemeteries and such like.不厌其烦地谈论墓地以及诸如此类的事是一种病态。

3 myriad   

adj.无数的；n.无数，极大数量

参考例句：

• They offered no solution for all our myriad problems.对于我们数不清的问题他们束手无策。
• I had three weeks to make a myriad of arrangements.我花了三个星期做大量准备工作。

4 jovial   

adj.快乐的，好交际的

参考例句：

• He seemed jovial,but his eyes avoided ours.他显得很高兴，但他的眼光却避开了我们的眼光。
• Grandma was plump and jovial.祖母身材圆胖，整天乐呵呵的。

5 gulf   

n.海湾；深渊，鸿沟；分歧，隔阂

参考例句：

• The gulf between the two leaders cannot be bridged.两位领导人之间的鸿沟难以跨越。
• There is a gulf between the two cities.这两座城市间有个海湾。

6 behold   

v.看，注视，看到

参考例句：

• The industry of these little ants is wonderful to behold.这些小蚂蚁辛勤劳动的样子看上去真令人惊叹。
• The sunrise at the seaside was quite a sight to behold.海滨日出真是个奇景。

7 bliss   

n.狂喜，福佑，天赐的福

参考例句：

• It's sheer bliss to be able to spend the day in bed.整天都可以躺在床上真是幸福。
• He's in bliss that he's won the Nobel Prize.他非常高兴，因为获得了诺贝尔奖金。

8 adornment   

n.装饰；装饰品

参考例句：

• Lucie was busy with the adornment of her room.露西正忙着布置她的房间。
• Cosmetics are used for adornment.化妆品是用来打扮的。

9 sumptuous   

adj.豪华的，奢侈的，华丽的

参考例句：

• The guests turned up dressed in sumptuous evening gowns.客人们身着华丽的夜礼服出现了。
• We were ushered into a sumptuous dining hall.我们被领进一个豪华的餐厅。

10 chambers   

n.房间( chamber的名词复数 )；（议会的）议院；卧室；会议厅

参考例句：

• The body will be removed into one of the cold storage chambers. 尸体将被移到一个冷冻间里。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Mr Chambers's readable book concentrates on the middle passage: the time Ransome spent in Russia. Chambers先生的这本值得一看的书重点在中间：Ransome在俄国的那几年。 来自互联网

11 domes   

n.圆屋顶( dome的名词复数 )；像圆屋顶一样的东西；圆顶体育场

参考例句：

• The domes are circular or ovoid in cross-section. 穹丘的横断面为圆形或卵圆形。 来自辞典例句
• Parks. The facilities highlighted in text include sport complexes and fabric domes. 本书重点讲的设施包括运动场所和顶棚式结构。 来自互联网

12 laurels   

n.桂冠，荣誉

参考例句：

• The path was lined with laurels.小路两旁都种有月桂树。
• He reaped the laurels in the finals.他在决赛中荣膺冠军。

13 ERECTED   

adj. 直立的，竖立的，笔直的 vt. 使 ... 直立，建立

参考例句：

• A monument to him was erected in St Paul's Cathedral. 在圣保罗大教堂为他修了一座纪念碑。
• A monument was erected to the memory of that great scientist. 树立了一块纪念碑纪念那位伟大的科学家。

14 maiden   

n.少女，处女；adj.未婚的，纯洁的，无经验的

参考例句：

• The prince fell in love with a fair young maiden.王子爱上了一位年轻美丽的少女。
• The aircraft makes its maiden flight tomorrow.这架飞机明天首航。

15 prospect   

n.前景，前途；景色，视野

参考例句：

• This state of things holds out a cheerful prospect.事态呈现出可喜的前景。
• The prospect became more evident.前景变得更加明朗了。

16 wont   

adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯

参考例句：

• He was wont to say that children are lazy.他常常说小孩子们懒惰。
• It is his wont to get up early.早起是他的习惯。

17 apprehended   

逮捕，拘押( apprehend的过去式和过去分词 )； 理解

参考例句：

• She apprehended the complicated law very quickly. 她很快理解了复杂的法律。
• The police apprehended the criminal. 警察逮捕了罪犯。

18 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

19 congealed   

v.使凝结，冻结( congeal的过去式和过去分词 )；（指血）凝结

参考例句：

• The cold remains of supper had congealed on the plate. 晚餐剩下的冷饭菜已经凝结在盘子上了。
• The oil at last is congealed into a white fat. 那油最终凝结成了一种白色的油脂。 来自《简明英汉词典》

20 attain   

vt.达到，获得，完成

参考例句：

• I used the scientific method to attain this end. 我用科学的方法来达到这一目的。
• His painstaking to attain his goal in life is praiseworthy. 他为实现人生目标所下的苦功是值得称赞的。

21 supreme   

adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的

参考例句：

• It was the supreme moment in his life.那是他一生中最重要的时刻。
• He handed up the indictment to the supreme court.他把起诉书送交最高法院。

22 vouchsafed   

v.给予，赐予( vouchsafe的过去式和过去分词 )；允诺

参考例句：

• He vouchsafed to me certain family secrets. 他让我知道了某些家庭秘密。
• The significance of the event does, indeed, seem vouchsafed. 这个事件看起来确实具有重大意义。 来自辞典例句

23 ruffled   

adj. 有褶饰边的, 起皱的 动词ruffle的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• She ruffled his hair affectionately. 她情意绵绵地拨弄着他的头发。
• All this talk of a strike has clearly ruffled the management's feathers. 所有这些关于罢工的闲言碎语显然让管理层很不高兴。

24 renounce   

v.放弃；拒绝承认，宣布与…断绝关系

参考例句：

• She decided to renounce the world and enter a convent.她决定弃绝尘世去当修女。
• It was painful for him to renounce his son.宣布与儿子脱离关系对他来说是很痛苦的。

25 pointed   

adj.尖的，直截了当的

参考例句：

• He gave me a very sharp pointed pencil.他给我一支削得非常尖的铅笔。
• She wished to show Mrs.John Dashwood by this pointed invitation to her brother.她想通过对达茨伍德夫人提出直截了当的邀请向她的哥哥表示出来。

26 disillusioned   

a.不再抱幻想的，大失所望的，幻想破灭的

参考例句：

• I soon became disillusioned with the job. 我不久便对这个工作不再抱幻想了。
• Many people who are disillusioned in reality assimilate life to a dream. 许多对现实失望的人把人生比作一场梦。

27 attunes   

v.使协调( attune的第三人称单数 )；调音

参考例句：

28 scurrying   

v.急匆匆地走( scurry的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• We could hear the mice scurrying about in the walls. 我们能听见老鼠在墙里乱跑。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• We were scurrying about until the last minute before the party. 聚会开始前我们一直不停地忙忙碌碌。 来自辞典例句

29 appalled   

v.使惊骇，使充满恐惧( appall的过去式和过去分词)adj.惊骇的；丧胆的

参考例句：

• The brutality of the crime has appalled the public. 罪行之残暴使公众大为震惊。
• They were appalled by the reports of the nuclear war. 他们被核战争的报道吓坏了。 来自《简明英汉词典》

30 desperately   

adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地

参考例句：

• He was desperately seeking a way to see her again.他正拼命想办法再见她一面。
• He longed desperately to be back at home.他非常渴望回家。