10th July

 “Jean, bring me file 117.... Now then, M. Boscheron, let’s get this circular done. Take this down: I draw your special attention, M. le Préfet, to the following point. An end must be put at the earliest possible moment to an abuse which, if suffered to continue, would tend to—tend to—I draw your special attention to the following point, M. le Préfet. An end must be put as soon as possible to an abuse. Take that down, M. Boscheron.”

But M. Boscheron, my secretary, respectfully remarks that I keep on dictating¹ the same sentence. Jean deferentially² places a file on my table.

“What’s that, Jean?”

“File number 117. You asked me to fetch it, sir.”

“I asked you for file number 117?”

“Yes, sir.”

Jean gives me an anxious glance and retires.

“Where were we, M. Boscheron?”

“An end must be put as soon as possible to an abuse . . . .”

“That’s right... an abuse which would tend to diminish popular respect for government servants and to transform... transform, what a wealth of hidden things that word conceals³. I cannot so much as pronounce it but a world of ideas and sentiments come thronging⁴ pell-mell to invade the secret recesses⁵ of my being.” “I beg pardon, monsieur?” “What did you say, M. Boscheron?” “Please repeat, monsieur; I didn’t quite follow you.”

“Really, Monsieur Boscheron? Possibly I was not very clear. Well, well! we will stop there if you like. Give me what I have dictated⁶, I will finish it myself.”

 036 

M. Boscheron gives me his notes, gathers up his papers, bows and retires. Left alone in my office, I fall to examining the wallpaper with a sort of idiotic⁷ minuteness. It has the appearance of green felt with here and there a yellow stain; I begin to draw little men on my paper; I make an effort to write; for the fact is my Chief has asked for the circular three times and has promised the government deputies that it shall go to the prefects forthwith. I am bound to let him have it. I begin reading it through: to diminish popular respect for government servants and to transform them. I make a blot⁸; then with my pen I adorn⁹ it with hair. I transform it into a comet. I dream of Marguerite’s tresses. The other day, in the Champs-Elysées, little filaments¹⁰ of gold, little delicate spirals stood out from the rest of her graceful¹¹ tresses, with a singular brightness. You can see their like in fifteenth century miniatures, also in some of an earlier date. Dante says in his Vita Nuova: “One day when I was busy drawing angel’s heads . . .” And now here am I trying to draw angels’ heads on a government circular. Come now, we must get on with it: government servants and to transform them—transform them . . . How is it I simply cannot write a single word after that? How is it I am here dreaming still, as I have been ever since I rediscovered my ego¹² on the Pont de la Concorde that evening of the lovely sunset? Transform, did I say? O God of mystery, nature, truth, if she whose name even now after four years I dare not utter, if she died in giving life to Marguerite, I should believe, I should know with the certainty of instinct, that the soul of the mother had passed into the daughter and that they are one and the same being.

1 dictating   

v.大声讲或读( dictate的现在分词 )；口授；支配；摆布

参考例句：

• The manager was dictating a letter to the secretary. 经理在向秘书口授信稿。 来自辞典例句
• Her face is impassive as she listens to Miller dictating the warrant for her arrest. 她毫无表情地在听米勒口述拘留她的证书。 来自辞典例句

2 deferentially   

adv.表示敬意地，谦恭地

参考例句：

• "Now, let me see,'said Hurstwood, looking over Carrie's shoulder very deferentially. “来，让我瞧瞧你的牌。”赫斯渥说着，彬彬有礼地从嘉莉背后看过去。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
• He always acts so deferentially around his supervisor. 他总是毕恭毕敬地围着他的上司转。 来自互联网

3 conceals   

v.隐藏，隐瞒，遮住( conceal的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• He conceals his worries behind a mask of nonchalance. 他装作若无其事，借以掩饰内心的不安。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Drunkenness reveals what soberness conceals. 酒醉吐真言。 来自《简明英汉词典》

4 thronging   

v.成群，挤满( throng的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• Architects from around the world are thronging to Beijing theacross the capital. 来自世界各地的建筑师都蜂拥而至这座处处高楼耸立的大都市——北京。 来自互联网
• People are thronging to his new play. 人们成群结队地去看他那出新戏。 来自互联网

5 recesses   

n.壁凹( recess的名词复数 )；（工作或业务活动的）中止或暂停期间；学校的课间休息；某物内部的凹形空间v.把某物放在墙壁的凹处( recess的第三人称单数 )；将（墙）做成凹形，在（墙）上做壁龛；休息，休会，休庭

参考例句：

• I could see the inmost recesses. 我能看见最深处。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• I had continually pushed my doubts to the darker recesses of my mind. 我一直把怀疑深深地隐藏在心中。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 dictated   

v.大声讲或读( dictate的过去式和过去分词 )；口授；支配；摆布

参考例句：

• He dictated a letter to his secretary. 他向秘书口授信稿。
• No person of a strong character likes to be dictated to. 没有一个个性强的人愿受人使唤。 来自《简明英汉词典》

7 idiotic   

adj.白痴的

参考例句：

• It is idiotic to go shopping with no money.去买东西而不带钱是很蠢的。
• The child's idiotic deeds caused his family much trouble.那小孩愚蠢的行为给家庭带来许多麻烦。

8 blot   

vt.弄脏（用吸墨纸）吸干；n.污点，污渍

参考例句：

• That new factory is a blot on the landscape.那新建的工厂破坏了此地的景色。
• The crime he committed is a blot on his record.他犯的罪是他的履历中的一个污点。

9 adorn   

vt.使美化，装饰

参考例句：

• She loved to adorn herself with finery.她喜欢穿戴华丽的服饰。
• His watercolour designs adorn a wide range of books.他的水彩设计使许多图书大为生色。

10 filaments   

n.（电灯泡的）灯丝( filament的名词复数 )；丝极；细丝；丝状物

参考例句：

• Instead, sarcomere shortening occurs when the thin filaments'slide\" by the thick filaments. 此外，肌节的缩短发生于细肌丝沿粗肌丝“滑行”之际。 来自辞典例句
• Wetting-force data on filaments of any diameter and shape can easily obtained. 各种直径和形状的长丝的润湿力数据是易于测量的。 来自辞典例句

11 graceful   

adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的

参考例句：

• His movements on the parallel bars were very graceful.他的双杠动作可帅了!
• The ballet dancer is so graceful.芭蕾舞演员的姿态是如此的优美。

12 ego   

n.自我，自己，自尊

参考例句：

• He is absolute ego in all thing.在所有的事情上他都绝对自我。
• She has been on an ego trip since she sang on television.她上电视台唱过歌之后就一直自吹自擂。