"A young man who carries his diploma in his pocket can enterevery door," Monsieur Servien observed, as he imbibed3 the winewith fitting respect; it had been good stuff once, but was pastits prime.
Jean polished off the family repast rapidly and hurried away tothe theatre. His only ideas as yet of what a play was like werederived from the posters he had seen. He selected for tonightone of the big theatres where a tragedy was on the bill. He tookhis ticket for the pit with a vague idea it would be the talismanadmitting him to a new wonder-world of passion and emotion. Everytrifle is disconcerting to a troubled spirit, and on his entrancehe was surprised and sobered to see how few spectators there werein the stalls and boxes. But at the first scraping of the violinsas the orchestra tuned4 up, he glued his eyes to the curtain,which rose at last.
Then, then he saw, in a Roman palace, leaning on the back of achair of antique shape, a woman who wore over her robe of whitewoollen the saffron-hued _palla_. Amid the trampling5 of feet, therustle of dresses and the shifting of stools, she was recitinga long soliloquy, accompanied by slow, deliberate gestures. Hefelt, as he gazed, a strange, unknown pleasure, that grew moreand more acute till it was almost pain. As scene followed scene,there entered a confidante, then a hero, then a crowd of supers.
But he saw nothing but the apparition6 that had first fascinatedhim. His eyes fastened greedily on her beauty, caressing7 the twobare arms, encircled with rings of metal, gliding8 along the curveof the hips9 below the high girdle, plunging10 amid the brown locksthat waved above the brow and were tied back with three whitefillets; they clung to the moving lips and the white, moist teeththat ever and anon flashed in the glare of the footlights. Helonged to feel, to seize, to hold this lovely, living thing thatmoved before his eyes; in imagination he enfolded and embracedthe beautiful vision.
The wait between the acts (for the tragedy involved a change ofscenery) was intolerably tedious. His neighbours were talkingpolitics and passing one another quarters of orange across him;the newspaper boy and the man who hired out opera-glasses deafenedhim with their bawling11. He was in terror of some sudden catastrophethat might interrupt the play.
The curtain rose once more, on a succession of scenes of politicalintrigue à la Corneille which had no meaning for Servien. Tohis joy the lovely being in the white robe came on again. Buthe had strained his sight too hard; he could see nothing; bydint of riveting12 his gaze on the long gold pendants that hungfrom the actress's ears, he was dazzled; his eyes swam and closedinvoluntarily, and he could hear no sound but the beating ofthe blood in his temples.
By a supreme13 effort, in the last scene, he saw and heard her againclearly and distinctly, yet not as with his ordinary senses, forshe wore for him the elemental guise14 of a supernatural vision.
When the prompter's bell tinkled15 and the curtain descended16 for thelast time, he had a feeling as though the universe had collapsedin irretrievable ruin.
_Tartuffe_ was the after-piece; but neither the spirit and perfectionof the acting17, nor the pretty face and plump shoulders of Elmire,nor the _soubrette_'s dimpled arms, nor the _ingénue_'s innocenteyes, nor the noble, witty18 lines that filled the theatre androused the audience to fresh attention, could stir his spiritthat hung entranced on the lips of a tragic19 heroine.
As he stepped out into the street, the first breath of the coolnight air on his face blew away his intoxication20. His senses cameback to him and he could think again; but his thoughts never leftthe object of his infatuation, and her image was the only thinghe saw distinctly. He was entranced, possessed21; but the feelingwas delicious, and he roamed far and wide in the dark streets,making long detours22 by the river-side quays23 to lengthen24 out hisreveries, his heart full, overfull of passionate25, voluptuousimaginings. He was content because he was weary; his soul laydrowned in a delicious languor26 that no pang27 of desire troubled;to look and long was more than sufficient as yet to still thecravings of his virgin28 appetites.
He threw himself half dressed on his bed, overjoyed to cherishthe picture of her beauty in his heart. All he wanted was tolose himself in the enchanted29 sleep that weighed down his boyishlids.
On waking, he gazed about him for something--he knew not what.
Was he in love? He could not tell, but there was a void somewhere.
Still, he felt no overmastering impulse, except to read the verseshe had heard the actress declaim. He took down from his shelvesa volume of Corneille and read through émilie's part. Every lineenchanted him, one as much as another, for did they not all evokethe same memory for him?
His father and his aunt, with whom he passed his days, had grownto be only vague, meaningless shapes to him. Their broadestpleasantries failed to raise a smile, and the coarse realities ofa narrow, penurious30 existence had no power to disturb his happyserenity. All day long, in the back-shop where the penetratingsmell of paste mingled31 with the fumes32 of the cabbage-soup, helived a life of his own, a life of incomparable splendours. Hislittle Corneille, scored thickly with thumb-nail marks at everycouplet of émilie's, was all he needed to foster the fairestof illusions. A face and the tones of a voice were his world.
In a few days he knew the whole tragedy by heart. He would declaimthe lines in a slow, pompous33 voice, and his aunt would remarkafter each speech, as she shredded34 the vegetables for dinner:
"So you're for being a _curé_, are you, that you preach like theydo in church?"But in the main she approved of these exercises, and when MonsieurServien scratched his head doubtfully and complained that hisson would not make up his mind to any way of earning a living,she always took up the cudgels for the "little lad" and silencedthe bookbinder by telling him roundly he knew nothing about it--orabout anything else.
So the worthy35 man went back to his calf-skins. All the same,albeit he could form no very clear idea of what was in his son'shead, for the latter having become a "gentleman" was beyond hispurview, he felt some disquietude to see a holiday, legitimateenough no doubt after a successful examination, dragging out tosuch a length. He was anxious to see his son earning money insome department of administration or other. He had heard speakof the _H?tel de Ville_ and the Government Offices, and heracked his brains to think of someone among his customers whomight interest himself in his son's future. But he was not theman to act precipitately36.
One day, when Jean Servien was out on one of the long walks he hadgot into the habit of taking, he read on a poster that his émilie,Mademoiselle Gabrielle T----, was appearing in that evening'spiece. This time, ignoring his aunt's disapproval37, he donned hisSunday clothes, had his hair frizzed and curled, and took hisseat in the orchestra stalls.
He saw her again! For the first few moments she did not seemso beautiful as he had pictured her. So long had he labouredand lain awake over the first image he had carried away of herthat the impression had become blurred38, and the type that hadoriginally imprinted39 it on his heart no longer corresponded withthe result created by his mind's unconscious working. Then hewas disconcerted to see neither the white _stola_ and saffronmantle nor the bracelets40 and fillets that had seemed to him partand parcel of the beauty they adorned41. Now she wore the turbanof Roxana and the wide muslin trousers caught in at the ankle.
It was only by degrees he could grow reconciled to the change.
He realized that her arms were a trifle thin, and that a toothstood back behind the rest in the row of pearls. But in the endher very defects pleased him, because they were hers, and he lovedher the better for them. This time, by the law of change which isof the very essence of life, and by virtue42 of the imperfectionthat characterizes all living creatures, she made a physicalappeal to his senses and called up the idea of a human being offlesh and blood, a creature you could cling to and make one withyourself. His admiration43 was lost in a flood of tenderness andinfinite sadness--and he burst into tears.
The next day he conceived a great desire to see her as she wasin everyday life, dressed for the streets. It would be a sort ofintimacy merely to pass her on the pavement. One evening, when shewas playing, he watched for her at the stage-door, through whichemerged one after the other scene-shifters, actors, constables,firemen, dressers, and actresses. At last she appeared, muffledin her fur cloak, a bouquet44 in her hand, tall and pale--so palein the dusk her face seemed to him as if illumined by an inwardlight. She stood waiting on the doorstep till a carriage wascalled.
He clasped both hands on his breast and thought he was going todie.
When he found himself alone on the deserted45 _Quai_, he pluckeda leaf from the overhanging bough46 of a plane tree. Then, settinghis elbows on the parapet of the bridge, he tossed the leaf intothe river and watched it borne away by the current of the streamthat lay silvery in the moonlight, spangled with quivering lights.
He watched it till he could see it no longer. Was it not theemblem of himself? He, too, was abandoning himself to the watersof a passion that shone bright and which he thought profound.
点击收听单词发音
1 hoarded | |
v.积蓄并储藏(某物)( hoard的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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2 anticipation | |
n.预期,预料,期望 | |
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3 imbibed | |
v.吸收( imbibe的过去式和过去分词 );喝;吸取;吸气 | |
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4 tuned | |
adj.调谐的,已调谐的v.调音( tune的过去式和过去分词 );调整;(给收音机、电视等)调谐;使协调 | |
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5 trampling | |
踩( trample的现在分词 ); 践踏; 无视; 侵犯 | |
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6 apparition | |
n.幽灵,神奇的现象 | |
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7 caressing | |
爱抚的,表现爱情的,亲切的 | |
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8 gliding | |
v. 滑翔 adj. 滑动的 | |
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9 hips | |
abbr.high impact polystyrene 高冲击强度聚苯乙烯,耐冲性聚苯乙烯n.臀部( hip的名词复数 );[建筑学]屋脊;臀围(尺寸);臀部…的 | |
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10 plunging | |
adj.跳进的,突进的v.颠簸( plunge的现在分词 );暴跌;骤降;突降 | |
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11 bawling | |
v.大叫,大喊( bawl的现在分词 );放声大哭;大声叫出;叫卖(货物) | |
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12 riveting | |
adj.动听的,令人着迷的,完全吸引某人注意力的;n.铆接(法) | |
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13 supreme | |
adj.极度的,最重要的;至高的,最高的 | |
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14 guise | |
n.外表,伪装的姿态 | |
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15 tinkled | |
(使)发出丁当声,(使)发铃铃声( tinkle的过去式和过去分词 ); 叮当响着发出,铃铃响着报出 | |
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16 descended | |
a.为...后裔的,出身于...的 | |
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17 acting | |
n.演戏,行为,假装;adj.代理的,临时的,演出用的 | |
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18 witty | |
adj.机智的,风趣的 | |
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19 tragic | |
adj.悲剧的,悲剧性的,悲惨的 | |
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20 intoxication | |
n.wild excitement;drunkenness;poisoning | |
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21 possessed | |
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
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22 detours | |
绕行的路( detour的名词复数 ); 绕道,兜圈子 | |
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23 quays | |
码头( quay的名词复数 ) | |
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24 lengthen | |
vt.使伸长,延长 | |
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25 passionate | |
adj.热情的,热烈的,激昂的,易动情的,易怒的,性情暴躁的 | |
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26 languor | |
n.无精力,倦怠 | |
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27 pang | |
n.剧痛,悲痛,苦闷 | |
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28 virgin | |
n.处女,未婚女子;adj.未经使用的;未经开发的 | |
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29 enchanted | |
adj. 被施魔法的,陶醉的,入迷的 动词enchant的过去式和过去分词 | |
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30 penurious | |
adj.贫困的 | |
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31 mingled | |
混合,混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 ); 混进,与…交往[联系] | |
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32 fumes | |
n.(强烈而刺激的)气味,气体 | |
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33 pompous | |
adj.傲慢的,自大的;夸大的;豪华的 | |
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34 shredded | |
shred的过去式和过去分词 | |
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35 worthy | |
adj.(of)值得的,配得上的;有价值的 | |
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36 precipitately | |
adv.猛进地 | |
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37 disapproval | |
n.反对,不赞成 | |
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38 blurred | |
v.(使)变模糊( blur的过去式和过去分词 );(使)难以区分;模模糊糊;迷离 | |
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39 imprinted | |
v.盖印(imprint的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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40 bracelets | |
n.手镯,臂镯( bracelet的名词复数 ) | |
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41 adorned | |
[计]被修饰的 | |
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42 virtue | |
n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力 | |
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43 admiration | |
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕 | |
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44 bouquet | |
n.花束,酒香 | |
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45 deserted | |
adj.荒芜的,荒废的,无人的,被遗弃的 | |
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46 bough | |
n.大树枝,主枝 | |
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