CHAPTER XXIII.

 THE STRANGE THINGS PANTAGRUEL DID AS A BABY.

 

Gargantua hardly knew whether he ought to cry because his beloved Queen Badebec was dead, or laugh because his son Pantagruel was alive.

"My good wife is dead, who was the most this and the most that, which ever was in the world," he would blubber at one time. "Ha! Badebec, my wife, I shall never see thee again! Thou hast left me, my pet, forever! Ah! my poor Pantagruel, thou hast lost thy good Mother, thy sweet nurse. Holos!"

The poor Giant burst into tears, which flowed down his cheeks as large as ostrich-eggs, and he cried like a cow. Then his humor would change, and he fell to laughing like a calf¹.

"Ho! ho! my little son, how pretty thou art, and how grateful I should be to God that he has given me such a son. Ho! ho! ho! how glad I am! Let us drink! Throw melancholy² out of the window; bring here the best wines; rinse³ the glasses; lay the cloth; drive away the dogs; blow up that fire; light the candles; shut the door; skim the soup; call in the beggars, and give them what they want! I ought to be happy,—I am happy. Ho! ho! ho!"

Poor old Giant! He was very proud, but he was very wretched all the same.

Engraving⁴

THE FUNERAL OF QUEEN BADEBEC.

It would be a wonderful thing to tell how quickly Pantagruel grew in body and in strength. All the old-world talk about "Hercules in his cradle killing⁵ the two serpents" was nothing to boast of, because his snakes happened to be both small and weak. But Pantagruel, in his cradle, did things much more astonishing. Just think of his needing, as a baby, at every meal, the milk of four thousand six hundred cows! When it became necessary to order a kettle for him in which to boil his milk it took all the braziers of Saumure, in Anjou; of Villedieu, in Normandy; of Bramart, in Lorraine, to make it. They used to give him soup in a great bell, which was long to be seen at Bruges, in Berry, near the Palace, with a hole in it. How did that hole ever get there? Why, in the easiest way possible! Baby Pantagruel's teeth were already so big, and sharp, and strong, that, in his eagerness to get at the broth⁶, he made a quick snap at the metal and broke through it, as though it were as flimsy as an egg-shell.

Engraving

PANTAGRUEL'S PORRINGER.

Another morning, at daybreak, when one of the four thousand six hundred cows, which gave him his principal food, was brought in to give him his breakfast, Pantagruel burst the bands which bound his arms, and caught hold of that poor cow to eat her alive; and he would have, without doubt, eaten her all up if she hadn't bellowed⁷ as loudly as though a pack of wolves were just at that moment striking their teeth in her legs. At the poor cow's cries, everybody ran up and released her from the Giant baby's awful teeth. Such an offence as trying to eat alive an innocent cow, which had done her best, among her four thousand five hundred and ninety-nine companions, to give him milk, could not pass unnoticed. Gargantua, although, away down in his own heart, he was proud of his little son's strength, grew very much afraid that, in some of his antics, he might hurt himself. He at once ordered Pantagruel to be bound to the cradle with great cables, and directed that, on no account, he should be allowed to get free from them. Here, then, was our poor Pantagruel in a bad fix! Baby as he was, he often felt very wretched; but never more wretched than when a great, shaggy bear, which was a special pet of his father, made it a point of politeness to drop in every day and, with his dirty tongue, to lick his face, which, on the other hand, the Wise Women made a point never to touch. That bear came once too often. Pantagruel, being in a bad humor one particular day, and feeling the rough, furred tongue licking all over and over his face, gave one tremendous jerk, and broke his chains as easily as Samson had broken those of the Philistines⁸. Then he stretched out his hairy hands, and caught Master Bear, and tore him into pieces with as much ease as he might have done a chicken.

This new exploit made Gargantua still prouder of his son; but it was high time that something should be done with him. So he ordered to be made four great iron chains to hold him fast. One day a feast was given by King Gargantua in honor of the princes and nobles of his Court. It is pretty clear that all the great people, not to speak of the servants, had their time so well taken with the feast, that nobody ever thought it his business to bother himself about the little Prince, away upstairs in the nursery. If Pantagruel hated any one thing above another, that one thing was to be left by himself. What made it all the worse this time was that there he was in his cradle, closely chained, and obliged to listen to the gay sounds that swelled⁹ up, every now and then, from the dining-room. The poor child felt lonely. He tried to burst the chains which bound his arms to his cradle; but that he couldn't do, because they had been forged too strong and stout¹⁰ by the Royal Blacksmith. Then he began such a stamping with his feet that he broke the foot-board of his cradle, which was made of a great beam seven feet square. The moment he had succeeded in getting his feet quite out of the broken end, he slid forward as far as the chains would let him, until at last his feet touched the floor. Then, with a great wrench¹¹, he raised himself on his feet, bearing his cradle triumphantly¹² on his back, which made him look for all the world like a turtle, with his shell, trying to climb a wall.

Such was the strange sight which, on presenting itself in the Banqueting Hall, startled the gay company. Pantagruel walked straight to the table, where he at first thought he would need no assistance; but he soon found himself obliged—not being, of course, able to use his hands—to lean forward, and lick up with his tongue any tidbit that he could find near the edge of the table. When his father saw how hungry he was, he knew well enough that his baby never would have broken through his cradle, and tramped down the stairs with it on his back, unless he had been left alone by his nurses. Turning to the princes and lords present, he asked them if it was not better that his boy should be freed from those heavy chains.

The guests, with one voice, declared that the chains were an insult to the young Prince; and even the First Physician gave it as his opinion that, if Pantagruel were to be kept any longer fastened in such a way to his cradle, he would all his life be a cripple.

Engraving

PANTAGRUEL CARRIES HIS CRADLE.

The moment he was unchained Pantagruel sat down at the table, and was made much of by every guest. Such a welcome soon made him feel quite at home, and he showed it by breaking, with one blow of his fist, that ugly cradle into more than five hundred thousand pieces, vowing¹³ to himself—he couldn't well say the words—that he would never be found in it again—never! never! never!

1 calf   

n.小牛，犊，幼仔，小牛皮

参考例句：

• The cow slinked its calf.那头母牛早产了一头小牛犊。
• The calf blared for its mother.牛犊哞哞地高声叫喊找妈妈。

2 melancholy   

n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的

参考例句：

• All at once he fell into a state of profound melancholy.他立即陷入无尽的忧思之中。
• He felt melancholy after he failed the exam.这次考试没通过，他感到很郁闷。

3 rinse   

v.用清水漂洗，用清水冲洗

参考例句：

• Give the cup a rinse.冲洗一下杯子。
• Don't just rinse the bottles. Wash them out carefully.别只涮涮瓶子，要仔细地洗洗里面。

4 engraving   

n.版画；雕刻（作品）；雕刻艺术；镌版术v.在（硬物）上雕刻（字，画等）( engrave的现在分词 )；将某事物深深印在（记忆或头脑中）

参考例句：

• He collected an old engraving of London Bridge. 他收藏了一张古老的伦敦桥版画。 来自辞典例句
• Some writing has the precision of a steel engraving. 有的字体严谨如同钢刻。 来自辞典例句

5 killing   

n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财

参考例句：

• Investors are set to make a killing from the sell-off.投资者准备清仓以便大赚一笔。
• Last week my brother made a killing on Wall Street.上个周我兄弟在华尔街赚了一大笔。

6 broth   

n.原(汁)汤(鱼汤、肉汤、菜汤等)

参考例句：

• Every cook praises his own broth.厨子总是称赞自己做的汤。
• Just a bit of a mouse's dropping will spoil a whole saucepan of broth.一粒老鼠屎败坏一锅汤。

7 bellowed   

v.发出吼叫声，咆哮（尤指因痛苦）( bellow的过去式和过去分词 )；（愤怒地）说出（某事），大叫

参考例句：

• They bellowed at her to stop. 他们吼叫着让她停下。
• He bellowed with pain when the tooth was pulled out. 当牙齿被拔掉时，他痛得大叫。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

8 philistines   

n.市侩，庸人( philistine的名词复数 )；庸夫俗子

参考例句：

• He accused those who criticized his work of being philistines. 他指责那些批评他的作品的人是对艺术一窍不通。 来自辞典例句
• As an intellectual Goebbels looked down on the crude philistines of the leading group in Munich. 戈培尔是个知识分子，看不起慕尼黑领导层不学无术的市侩庸人。 来自辞典例句

9 swelled   

增强( swell的过去式和过去分词 )； 肿胀； （使）凸出； 充满（激情）

参考例句：

• The infection swelled his hand. 由于感染，他的手肿了起来。
• After the heavy rain the river swelled. 大雨过后，河水猛涨。

11 wrench   

v.猛拧；挣脱；使扭伤；n.扳手；痛苦，难受

参考例句：

• He gave a wrench to his ankle when he jumped down.他跳下去的时候扭伤了足踝。
• It was a wrench to leave the old home.离开这个老家非常痛苦。

12 triumphantly   

ad.得意洋洋地；得胜地；成功地

参考例句：

• The lion was roaring triumphantly. 狮子正在发出胜利的吼叫。
• Robert was looking at me triumphantly. 罗伯特正得意扬扬地看着我。

13 vowing   

起誓，发誓（vow的现在分词形式）

参考例句：

• President Bush is vowing to help Minneapolis rebuild its collapsed bridge. 布什总统承诺将帮助明尼阿波利斯重建坍塌的大桥。
• President Bush is vowing to help Minneapolis rebuild this collapse bridge. 布什总统发誓要帮助明尼阿波利斯重建起这座坍塌的桥梁。