So this evening she was ready in good time. It wanted still a few minutes to the half-hour when she cast a last critical look at herself in the mirror.
She was one of those women whom a décolleté dress shows at their best, and Claudia knew, as she surveyed herself, that the result was good. She was as little conceited3 as any of her sex—she had too much brain and good looks for that; but she could not fail to see that the gown she was wearing for the first time made her look strikingly handsome in the best and most individual way. It was as though the creator of the gown had loved his task, for the deep orange of the rich yet light-weight fabric4, softened5 with some exquisite6 pearl-embroidered lace and bordered on the skirt with dark-hued skunk7, threw up into relief the darkly-bronze lights in her hair[106] and made the big brown eyes seem softer and deeper than ever. A strange Oriental-looking headpiece studded with topazes and pearls accentuated8 the foreign note in her appearance, which so impressed strangers that they refused to believe that she was entirely9 English as she averred10 and believed. They said the way she moved and wore her dresses was not English, that she could not belong to the nation of women who know how to choose a frock but not how to wear it. As she stood in front of the mirror she was a flat contradiction to the American who said that English men were dressed, but the women only wore frocks.
Her looks had improved since her marriage. For some unknown reason she scrutinized11 herself dispassionately that night, and she realized that she was infinitely12 more attractive to men than when Gilbert had married her. Her figure now was almost as good as her mother’s had been at her age. Indeed, the tops of her arms and her wrists were even prettier. She remembered what an old friend of her mother’s had once said to her just before her marriage. “You will be much admired, my dear, and you will remain naturally good-looking longer than your mother has done. But you will never enslave all sorts and conditions of men as she did—not that you come so far below her in looks, but because hers is the beauté du diable, that irresistible13 magnet to unregenerate man. You look too intelligent, too independent, too critical. That will pique14 some here and there, but the woman who shows obviously that she likes men and that they are necessary to her always finds a return for that compliment. Besides, she holds out hopes of reward which your type does not. The majority of men are childish and lazy: they pick the fruit on the lowest branches. You would be too exigeante, you would demand more than they could give. Your nature is not that of a Circe, and men will know it instinctively15.”[107] Then she had kissed her affectionately and added, “I am glad you have no beauté du diable. The world is better without it. Take your place in the heart of one man, not in the passions of many.”
Claudia thought over these words as she thoughtfully pulled on her gloves. And simultaneously16 she recalled a scene soon after Gilbert’s proposal when she had, as to-night, stood in front of the mirror and slowly divesting17 herself of her garments, half shyly, half exultingly18, because of her love of beauty, had watched the charms of her body emerge. She had rejoiced in her own comeliness19 because it was a gift she was bringing to her husband, a wedding gift such as few women could present.
She shrugged20 her shoulders at the recollection, and her face hardened a little. She had learned how evanescent a thing is passion with a man of Gilbert’s self-centred, violent nature. And the knowledge rankled21, so that as she looked at herself something which was not the individual, Claudia Currey, the wife of the new K.C., but Women Unsatisfied and Disappointed, crept into her eyes and mouth, and which, for the first time, gave her some fleeting22 resemblance to her mother. Was her mother’s old friend quite right? Was there no touch of the devil’s beauty in her looks now? Perhaps she would have changed her mind if she could have seen the woman looking broodingly at her own reflection, a smouldering defiance23 in her eyes, an unformed challenge on her lips. That it was not the real Claudia that looked so, the passionate-hearted, idealistic woman who walked away with her head held high, the elder woman would have known; but she would have had to acknowledge regretfully that Claudia was evolving.
Then had she been present she would have seen the little hardness disappear as morning mist before the sun, as a familiar padding sound became evident along the carpet.
[108]
Only Billie, only a dog, but so unchangeably devoted24, so unceasingly responsive. In a sudden burst of thwarted25 affection she caught him up, heedless of her costly26 embroideries27, and hugged his fat bundle of soft brown fur. At least this creature loved her, she was his whole world and——
“Mr. Hamilton, madam.”
Billie found himself gently deposited on the floor, where he stood wagging his tail with pleasure at the caress28, yet eyeing her beseechingly29, as he always did when she was going out, as if to say, “Are you really going to leave me again?”
“Tell Mr. Hamilton that I am quite ready. Is the fur rug in the motor? It will be cold coming home to-night.”
She refastened a corsage spray that had been loosened, and picked up an Eastern-looking garment of dull golds and browns, with a chiffon and skunk muff that matched. Outside it was freezing, and the trees in the Park were lightly powdered with snow. Billie stood on his short stumpy hind30 legs—a great effort by reason of his plumpness—and besought31 her to stay with him. Claudia laughed gently, and stooping down, took the little useless, dangling32 paws in her hand.
“Billie, you fool, don’t you know how ridiculous it is; to love anyone so much? Better far to cut your heart up into lots of little pieces and distribute them than give it away in a lump. Don’t you know that?”
No, Billie didn’t know that at all.
“Well, it is. Listen to my words of wisdom and ponder them in your doggy understanding. It hurts, Billie boy, to love very much, it hurts dreadfully, though you pretend, except to a little dog who keeps your counsel, that it doesn’t. Well, I shall never do it again, and it’s all over, Billie; it’s all over, both the dream and the awakening34.... Go to your basket and sleep the sleep of the faithful.”
[109]
They drove some way in silence. Inside the motor it was cosy35 and warm, in pleasant contrast to the streets, for the snow that lingered still on the trees had turned into slush on the pavements. The pedestrians36 looked uncomfortable and nipped by the east wind which was blowing, and the mud on the roads gleamed evilly in the light of the street lamps. Here and there they passed dirty heaps of snow in sheltered corners. Like the lace petticoats of a fine lady once pure and spotless, it was revolting now in its soiled, bedraggled state. People waiting in the wind at street corners for buses looked enviously37 at the motor as they passed. The padded luxury in which the two were enveloped38, the dim frosted light, the narcissi in the silver holder39 diffusing40 a faint perfume, were very intime and aloof41 from the discomfort42 abroad.
They had left Baker43 Street behind them before Claudia came out of her reverie and realized that she was not being sociable44. She looked sideways at her companion, to find him steadily45 regarding her.
“Are you wondering when I would be polite and talk?” she said, with a smile.
“No.... I was making a mental picture of you. I think—I think I can paint you now. I want to paint you in that velvet46 cloak—what colour do you call it?—it is like copper47 in the firelight—with the sable48 just touching49 your throat at one side just as it is now and falling off the other shoulder. Will you let me? Oh! I want my brushes in my hand now.” His eyes suddenly blazed with the inspiration of the moment as they devoured50 her. Quickly she drew the folds of the cloak closer around her neck. She felt as though a scorching51 wind had swept over her, a sirocco of passion came from him to her. She shrank back a little, yet even as she instinctively did so she wondered why. Her husband flagrantly neglected her, most of her friends had consoled themselves[110] for their husbands’ shortcomings, and had not she almost determined52 to seek the love which she craved53 outside her home? She met his eyes, and she was half attracted, half repelled54 by their light. She liked him, she felt his magnetism55 drawing her, and yet something which she could not quite understand bobbed quickly up to the surface of her mind and surveyed them both with a certain contempt. So she was a little cruel in her reply to his enthusiasm.
“You were not very successful last time. I hope you destroyed that picture.”
Claudia laughed lightly.
“Why in the middle of the night? Why were you moved to be so melodramatic?” She often teased him and made him angry by saying that he ought to have been an actor. For Frank Hamilton had a torch of the woman in him which clothed in drama many things that he did and said. Whether he was conscious of these effects or whether they came naturally to his character Claudia could never determine.
“I had been dreaming of you,” he said simply. “I had seen you standing33 at the foot of my bed, looking down on me, and I knew exactly how I should have painted you. So I sprang out of bed and hacked57 the beastly canvas to pieces. Afterwards I made a rough charcoal58 sketch59 of you from memory. To-night you look as you did when you stood at the foot of my bed.” The eyes of the man were audacious, but the words were spoken very quietly.
“I beg to remark that my frock is brand new,” rejoined Claudia flippantly. “I have never worn it even in dream-land. It is hard to be deprived of a positively60 first appearance when frocks are so ruinously expensive.”
“You looked wonderful that night,” he went on[111] dreamily. “I have always seen you since—as you might look.”
“As I might look,” she repeated, her curiosity getting the better of her discretion61. “What do you mean by that?”
He was looking out at the glistening62 streets, at the flakes63 of snow beginning to fall again, and he made no reply. This piqued64 her the more, and she repeated her question.
“I suppose you will be angry with me,” he said slowly. “Women always resent these things. I don’t know why.... As you might look if you were not so proud and if your brain did not rule your heart, if you would let yourself be the woman—you were meant to be.”
Claudia wanted to say “How ridiculous!” but she couldn’t. The motor was passing a large burial ground, the tombstones showing by the railings like dreary65 grey ghosts in the darkness, shut in with the wet, dripping trees, and looking hungrily at life passing a few yards away. Underneath66 those tombstones were hearts and brains in silent decay that had once been men and women. Claudia watched them flit by and she was silent now. She wondered if those tombstones had a message for her. Were not the dead saying “Live! live! live! Death started out to meet as soon as you were born.”
The man beside her commenced to quote softly, almost in a whisper:
From mine heart’s country, that is yet so far;
And I must lean and long across a bar
“Ah! might it be, that just by touch of hand
Or speaking silence, shall the barrier fall;
And she shall pass, with no vain words at all,
[112]
The motor came to a standstill, and Claudia shook herself free from the spell of his words. There are few men who can quote poetry without divesting it of all lyrical charm and naturalness, but Frank Hamilton knew or had acquired the art. Then, as though the quotation70 were some nursery jingle71, his voice altered, and he said, “Heigh ho! is this the house? What is my hostess like? Hints, please. I meant to have asked you before.”
“Much younger than her husband, but not as young as she would like to be,” whispered Claudia hurriedly. “If you flatter her judiciously72 you may get a portrait out of her. She is dying to have it painted.”
The boy was opening the door, but he caught her arm with every appearance of sudden anger, and made her stop and look at him.
“Do you think I only like to come out with you because I may get commissions for portraits from your friends?” he said heatedly. “Answer me, please.”
Claudia looked at the boy and motioned him to silence. “Don’t be foolish, I was only jesting. You mustn’t be so sensitive....” Then, as they walked up the steps together she said smilingly, “If you say silly things like that, you shan’t come out with me again. But, seriously, Mrs. Rivington has been wanting to meet you for a long time. I think she fancies that if she gets to know you the portrait will come cheaper. But she is well able to pay, so don’t take any notice when she hints at her poverty of purse. She is a woman who would try and get a discount off her seat in heaven.”
“You will make time to come to the studio one day quite soon, won’t you?” he pleaded.
“I’ll see,” she said, as the door opened before them.
The maid came forward and slipped off her cloak. As she waited and pulled up her gloves, Claudia propounded73 a question to herself.
[113]
“He seems to care so much—I wonder if he is really sincere.”
When a woman stands and asks that question, the man has scored his first point. But Claudia thought the tricks were still all in her hand.
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1
derisive
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| adj.嘲弄的 | |
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spouse
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| n.配偶(指夫或妻) | |
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conceited
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| adj.自负的，骄傲自满的 | |
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fabric
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| n.织物，织品，布；构造，结构，组织 | |
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softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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skunk
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| n.臭鼬，黄鼠狼；v.使惨败，使得零分；烂醉如泥 | |
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8
accentuated
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| v.重读( accentuate的过去式和过去分词 )；使突出；使恶化；加重音符号于 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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averred
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| v.断言( aver的过去式和过去分词 )；证实；证明…属实；作为事实提出 | |
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11
scrutinized
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| v.仔细检查，详审( scrutinize的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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12
infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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13
irresistible
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| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 | |
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pique
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| v.伤害…的自尊心，使生气 n.不满，生气 | |
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15
instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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16
simultaneously
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| adv.同时发生地，同时进行地 | |
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17
divesting
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| v.剥夺( divest的现在分词 )；脱去（衣服）；2。从…取去…；1。（给某人）脱衣服 | |
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18
exultingly
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| 兴高采烈地，得意地 | |
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comeliness
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| n. 清秀, 美丽, 合宜 | |
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20
shrugged
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| vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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rankled
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| v.（使）痛苦不已，（使）怨恨不已( rankle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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22
fleeting
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| adj.短暂的，飞逝的 | |
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23
defiance
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| n.挑战，挑衅，蔑视，违抗 | |
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24
devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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25
thwarted
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| 阻挠( thwart的过去式和过去分词 )； 使受挫折； 挫败； 横过 | |
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26
costly
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| adj.昂贵的，价值高的，豪华的 | |
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27
embroideries
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| 刺绣( embroidery的名词复数 )； 刺绣品； 刺绣法 | |
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28
caress
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| vt./n.爱抚，抚摸 | |
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beseechingly
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| adv. 恳求地 | |
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hind
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| adj.后面的，后部的 | |
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besought
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| v.恳求，乞求（某事物）( beseech的过去式和过去分词 )；(beseech的过去式与过去分词) | |
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32
dangling
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| 悬吊着( dangle的现在分词 )； 摆动不定； 用某事物诱惑…； 吊胃口 | |
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33
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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awakening
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| n.觉醒，醒悟 adj.觉醒中的；唤醒的 | |
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35
cosy
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| adj.温暖而舒适的，安逸的 | |
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36
pedestrians
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| n.步行者( pedestrian的名词复数 ) | |
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37
enviously
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| adv.满怀嫉妒地 | |
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enveloped
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| v.包围，笼罩，包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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39
holder
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| n.持有者，占有者；(台，架等)支持物 | |
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40
diffusing
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| （使光）模糊，漫射，漫散( diffuse的现在分词 )； （使）扩散； （使）弥漫； （使）传播 | |
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41
aloof
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| adj.远离的；冷淡的，漠不关心的 | |
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42
discomfort
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| n.不舒服，不安，难过，困难，不方便 | |
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43
baker
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| n.面包师 | |
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44
sociable
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| adj.好交际的，友好的，合群的 | |
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45
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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46
velvet
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| n.丝绒，天鹅绒；adj.丝绒制的，柔软的 | |
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47
copper
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| n.铜；铜币；铜器；adj.铜(制)的；(紫)铜色的 | |
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48
sable
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| n.黑貂；adj.黑色的 | |
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49
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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50
devoured
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| 吞没( devour的过去式和过去分词 )； 耗尽； 津津有味地看； 狼吞虎咽地吃光 | |
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51
scorching
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| adj. 灼热的 | |
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52
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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53
craved
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| 渴望，热望( crave的过去式 )； 恳求，请求 | |
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54
repelled
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| v.击退( repel的过去式和过去分词 )；使厌恶；排斥；推开 | |
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55
magnetism
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| n.磁性，吸引力，磁学 | |
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56
slashed
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| v.挥砍( slash的过去式和过去分词 )；鞭打；割破；削减 | |
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57
hacked
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| 生气 | |
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58
charcoal
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| n.炭，木炭，生物炭 | |
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59
sketch
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| n.草图；梗概；素描；v.素描；概述 | |
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60
positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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61
discretion
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| n.谨慎；随意处理 | |
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62
glistening
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| adj.闪耀的，反光的v.湿物闪耀，闪亮( glisten的现在分词 ) | |
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63
flakes
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| 小薄片( flake的名词复数 )； （尤指）碎片； 雪花； 古怪的人 | |
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64
piqued
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| v.伤害…的自尊心( pique的过去式和过去分词 )；激起（好奇心） | |
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65
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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66
underneath
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| adj.在...下面，在...底下；adv.在下面 | |
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67
severs
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| v.切断，断绝( sever的第三人称单数 )；断，裂 | |
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68
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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69
droop
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| v.低垂，下垂；凋萎，萎靡 | |
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70
quotation
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| n.引文，引语，语录；报价，牌价，行情 | |
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71
jingle
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| n.叮当声，韵律简单的诗句；v.使叮当作响，叮当响，押韵 | |
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72
judiciously
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| adv.明断地，明智而审慎地 | |
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73
propounded
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| v.提出（问题、计划等）供考虑[讨论]，提议( propound的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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