“There seems no such thing as serious repentance12 in me,” he had once said to Kate, two years before, when she had upbraided13 him with some desperate flirtation14 which had looked as if he would carry it as far as gentlemen did under King Charles II. “How does remorse15 begin?”
“Where you are beginning,” said Kate.
“I do not perceive that,” he answered. “My conscience seems, after all, to be only a form of good-nature. I like to be stirred by emotion, I suppose, and I like to study character. But I can always stop when it is evident that I shall cause pain to somebody. Is there any other motive16?”
“In other words,” said she, “you apply the match, and then turn your back on the burning house.”
Philip colored. “How unjust you are! Of course, we all like to play with fire, but I always put it out before it can spread. Do you think I have no feeling?”
Kate stopped there, I suppose. Even she always stopped soon, if she undertook to interfere17 with Malbone. This charming Alcibiades always convinced them, after the wrestling was over, that he had not been thrown.
The only exception to this was in the case of Aunt Jane. If she had anything in common with Philip,—and there was a certain element of ingenuous18 unconsciousness in which they were not so far unlike,—it only placed them in the more complete antagonism19. Perhaps if two beings were in absolutely no respect alike, they never could meet even for purposes of hostility20; there must be some common ground from which the aversion may proceed. Moreover, in this case Aunt Jane utterly21 disbelieved in Malbone because she had reason to disbelieve in his father, and the better she knew the son the more she disliked the father retrospectively.
Philip was apt to be very heedless of such aversions,—indeed, he had few to heed,—but it was apparent that Aunt Jane was the only person with whom he was not quite at ease. Still, the solicitude22 did not trouble him very much, for he instinctively23 knew that it was not his particular actions which vexed24 her, so much as his very temperament and atmosphere,—things not to be changed. So he usually went his way; and if he sometimes felt one of her sharp retorts, could laugh it off that day and sleep it off before the next morning.
For you may be sure that Philip was very little troubled by inconvenient25 memories. He never had to affect forgetfulness of anything. The past slid from him so easily, he forgot even to try to forget. He liked to quote from Emerson, “What have I to do with repentance?” “What have my yesterday’s errors,” he would say, “to do with the life of to-day?”
“Everything,” interrupted Aunt Jane, “for you will repeat them to-day, if you can.”
“Not at all,” persisted he, accepting as conversation what she meant as a stab. “I may, indeed, commit greater errors,”—here she grimly nodded, as if she had no doubt of it,—“but never just the same. To-day must take thought for itself.”
“I wish it would,” she said, gently, and then went on with her own thoughts while he was silent. Presently she broke out again in her impulsive26 way.
“Depend upon it,” she said, “there is very little direct retribution in this world.”
Phil looked up, quite pleased at her indorsing one of his favorite views. She looked, as she always did, indignant at having said anything to please him.
“Yes,” said she, “it is the indirect retribution that crushes. I’ve seen enough of that, God knows. Kate, give me my thimble.”
Malbone had that smooth elasticity27 of surface which made even Aunt Jane’s strong fingers slip from him as they might from a fish, or from the soft, gelatinous stem of the water-target. Even in this case he only laughed good-naturedly, and went out, whistling like a mocking-bird, to call the children round him.
Toward the more wayward and impulsive Emilia the good lady was far more merciful. With all Aunt Jane’s formidable keenness, she was a little apt to be disarmed by youth and beauty, and had no very stern retributions except for those past middle age. Emilia especially charmed her while she repelled28. There was no getting beyond a certain point with this strange girl, any more than with Philip; but her depths tantalized29, while his apparent shallows were only vexatious. Emilia was usually sweet, winning, cordial, and seemed ready to glide30 into one’s heart as softly as she glided31 into the room; she liked to please, and found it very easy. Yet she left the impression that this smooth and delicate loveliness went but an inch beyond the surface, like the soft, thin foam32 that enamels33 yonder tract34 of ocean, belongs to it, is a part of it, yet is, after all, but a bequest35 of tempests, and covers only a dark abyss of crossing currents and desolate36 tangles37 of rootless kelp. Everybody was drawn38 to her, yet not a soul took any comfort in her. Her very voice had in it a despairing sweetness, that seemed far in advance of her actual history; it was an anticipated miserere, a perpetual dirge39, where nothing had yet gone down. So Aunt Jane, who was wont40 to be perfectly41 decisive in her treatment of every human being, was fluctuating and inconsistent with Emilia. She could not help being fascinated by the motherless child, and yet scorned herself for even the doubting love she gave.
“Only think, auntie,” said Kate, “how you kissed Emilia, yesterday!”
“Of course I did,” she remorsefully42 owned. “I have kissed her a great many times too often. I never will kiss her again. There is nothing but sorrow to be found in loving her, and her heart is no larger than her feet. Today she was not even pretty! If it were not for her voice, I think I should never wish to see her again.”
But when that soft, pleading voice came once more, and Emilia asked perhaps for luncheon43, in tones fit for Ophelia, Aunt Jane instantly yielded. One might as well have tried to enforce indignation against the Babes in the Wood.
This perpetual mute appeal was further strengthened by a peculiar44 physical habit in Emilia, which first alarmed the household, but soon ceased to inspire terror. She fainted very easily, and had attacks at long intervals45 akin46 to faintness, and lasting47 for several hours. The physicians pronounced them cataleptic in their nature, saying that they brought no danger, and that she would certainly outgrow48 them. They were sometimes produced by fatigue49, sometimes by excitement, but they brought no agitation50 with them, nor any development of abnormal powers. They simply wrapped her in a profound repose51, from which no effort could rouse her, till the trance passed by. Her eyes gradually closed, her voice died away, and all movement ceased, save that her eyelids52 sometimes trembled without opening, and sweet evanescent expressions chased each other across her face,—the shadows of thoughts unseen. For a time she seemed to distinguish the touch of different persons by preference or pain; but soon even this sign of recognition vanished, and the household could only wait and watch, while she sank into deeper and yet deeper repose.
There was something inexpressibly sweet, appealing, and touching53 in this impenetrable slumber54, when it was at its deepest. She looked so young, so delicate, so lovely; it was as if she had entered into a shrine55, and some sacred curtain had been dropped to shield her from all the cares and perplexities of life. She lived, she breathed, and yet all the storms of life could but beat against her powerless, as the waves beat on the shore. Safe in this beautiful semblance56 of death,—her pulse a little accelerated, her rich color only softened57, her eyelids drooping58, her exquisite59 mouth curved into the sweetness it had lacked in waking,—she lay unconscious and supreme60, the temporary monarch61 of the household, entranced upon her throne. A few hours having passed, she suddenly waked, and was a self-willed, passionate62 girl once more. When she spoke63, it was with a voice wholly natural; she had no recollection of what had happened, and no curiosity to learn.
点击收听单词发音
1 harry | |
vt.掠夺,蹂躏,使苦恼 | |
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2 perilous | |
adj.危险的,冒险的 | |
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3 temperament | |
n.气质,性格,性情 | |
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4 softens | |
(使)变软( soften的第三人称单数 ); 缓解打击; 缓和; 安慰 | |
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5 mere | |
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过 | |
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6 hypocrisy | |
n.伪善,虚伪 | |
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7 amiable | |
adj.和蔼可亲的,友善的,亲切的 | |
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8 voluptuous | |
adj.肉欲的,骄奢淫逸的 | |
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9 disarmed | |
v.裁军( disarm的过去式和过去分词 );使息怒 | |
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10 habitual | |
adj.习惯性的;通常的,惯常的 | |
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11 profligacy | |
n.放荡,不检点,肆意挥霍 | |
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12 repentance | |
n.懊悔 | |
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13 upbraided | |
v.责备,申斥,谴责( upbraid的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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14 flirtation | |
n.调情,调戏,挑逗 | |
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15 remorse | |
n.痛恨,悔恨,自责 | |
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16 motive | |
n.动机,目的;adv.发动的,运动的 | |
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17 interfere | |
v.(in)干涉,干预;(with)妨碍,打扰 | |
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18 ingenuous | |
adj.纯朴的,单纯的;天真的;坦率的 | |
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19 antagonism | |
n.对抗,敌对,对立 | |
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20 hostility | |
n.敌对,敌意;抵制[pl.]交战,战争 | |
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21 utterly | |
adv.完全地,绝对地 | |
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22 solicitude | |
n.焦虑 | |
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23 instinctively | |
adv.本能地 | |
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24 vexed | |
adj.争论不休的;(指问题等)棘手的;争论不休的问题;烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 );使苦恼;使生气;详细讨论 | |
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25 inconvenient | |
adj.不方便的,令人感到麻烦的 | |
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26 impulsive | |
adj.冲动的,刺激的;有推动力的 | |
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27 elasticity | |
n.弹性,伸缩力 | |
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28 repelled | |
v.击退( repel的过去式和过去分词 );使厌恶;排斥;推开 | |
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29 tantalized | |
v.逗弄,引诱,折磨( tantalize的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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30 glide | |
n./v.溜,滑行;(时间)消逝 | |
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31 glided | |
v.滑动( glide的过去式和过去分词 );掠过;(鸟或飞机 ) 滑翔 | |
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32 foam | |
v./n.泡沫,起泡沫 | |
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33 enamels | |
搪瓷( enamel的名词复数 ); 珐琅; 釉药; 瓷漆 | |
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34 tract | |
n.传单,小册子,大片(土地或森林) | |
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35 bequest | |
n.遗赠;遗产,遗物 | |
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36 desolate | |
adj.荒凉的,荒芜的;孤独的,凄凉的;v.使荒芜,使孤寂 | |
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37 tangles | |
(使)缠结, (使)乱作一团( tangle的第三人称单数 ) | |
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38 drawn | |
v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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39 dirge | |
n.哀乐,挽歌,庄重悲哀的乐曲 | |
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40 wont | |
adj.习惯于;v.习惯;n.习惯 | |
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41 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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42 remorsefully | |
adv.极为懊悔地 | |
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43 luncheon | |
n.午宴,午餐,便宴 | |
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44 peculiar | |
adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的 | |
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45 intervals | |
n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 );间隔时间;[数学]区间;(戏剧、电影或音乐会的)幕间休息 | |
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46 akin | |
adj.同族的,类似的 | |
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47 lasting | |
adj.永久的,永恒的;vbl.持续,维持 | |
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48 outgrow | |
vt.长大得使…不再适用;成长得不再要 | |
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49 fatigue | |
n.疲劳,劳累 | |
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50 agitation | |
n.搅动;搅拌;鼓动,煽动 | |
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51 repose | |
v.(使)休息;n.安息 | |
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52 eyelids | |
n.眼睑( eyelid的名词复数 );眼睛也不眨一下;不露声色;面不改色 | |
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53 touching | |
adj.动人的,使人感伤的 | |
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54 slumber | |
n.睡眠,沉睡状态 | |
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55 shrine | |
n.圣地,神龛,庙;v.将...置于神龛内,把...奉为神圣 | |
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56 semblance | |
n.外貌,外表 | |
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57 softened | |
(使)变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 ); 缓解打击; 缓和; 安慰 | |
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58 drooping | |
adj. 下垂的,无力的 动词droop的现在分词 | |
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59 exquisite | |
adj.精美的;敏锐的;剧烈的,感觉强烈的 | |
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60 supreme | |
adj.极度的,最重要的;至高的,最高的 | |
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61 monarch | |
n.帝王,君主,最高统治者 | |
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62 passionate | |
adj.热情的,热烈的,激昂的,易动情的,易怒的,性情暴躁的 | |
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63 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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