“He saw nothing,” whispered M. Roux, trying to make light of the affair.
But Madame Bergeret shook her head with an expression of anxious doubt. For her part, what she wanted was to throw on her partner’s shoulders the whole responsibility for any consequences that might ensue. She felt uneasy and, above all, thwarted1. She was also a prey2 to a certain feeling of shame at having allowed herself, like a fool, to be surprised by a creature who was so easily hoodwinked as M. Bergeret, whom she despised for his credulity. Finally, she was in that state of anxiety into which a new and unprecedented3 situation always throws one.
110 M. Roux repeated the comforting assurance which he had first made to himself:
“I am sure he did not see us. He only looked at the table.”
And when Madame Bergeret still remained doubtful, he declared that anyone sitting on the couch could not be seen from the doorway4. Of this Madame Bergeret tried to make sure. She went and stood in the doorway, while M. Roux stretched himself on the sofa, to represent the surprised lovers.
The test did not seem conclusive5, and it fell next to M. Roux’s turn to go to the door, while Madame Bergeret reconstructed their love scene.
Solemnly, coldly, and even with some show of sulkiness to each other, they repeated this process several times. But M. Roux did not succeed in soothing6 Madame Bergeret’s doubts.
At last he lost his temper and exclaimed:
“Well! if he did see us, anyway he’s a precious——.”
Here he used a word which was unfamiliar7 to Madame Bergeret’s ears, but which sounded to her coarse, unseemly and abominably8 offensive. She was disgusted with M. Roux for having permitted himself to use such a term.
Thinking that he would only injure Madame Bergeret more by remaining longer in her company,111 M. Roux whispered a few consoling phrases in her ear and then began to tiptoe towards the door. His natural sense of decorum made him unwilling9 to risk a meeting with the kindly10 master whom he had wronged. Left alone in this way, Madame Bergeret went to her own room to think.
It did not seem to her that what had just taken place was important in itself. In the first place, if this was the first time that she had permitted herself to be compromised by M. Roux, it was not the first time that she had been indiscreet with others, few in number as they might be. Besides, an act like this may be horrible in thought, while in actual performance it merely appears commonplace, dependent upon circumstances and naturally innocent. In face of reality, prejudice dies away. Madame Bergeret was not a woman carried away from her homely11, middle-class destiny by invincible12 forces hidden in the secret depths of her nature. Although she possessed13 a certain temperament14, she was still rational and very careful of her reputation. She never sought for adventures, and at the age of thirty-six she had only deceived M. Bergeret three times. But these three occasions were enough to prevent her from exaggerating her fault. She was still less disposed to do so, since this third adventure was in essentials only a repetition of the first two, and these had been neither painful nor pleasurable112 enough to play a large part in her memory. No phantoms15 of remorse16 started up before the matron’s large, fishy17 eyes. She regarded herself as an honourable18 woman in the main, and only felt irritated and ashamed at having allowed herself to be caught by a husband for whom she had the most profound scorn. She felt this misfortune the more, because it had come upon her in maturity19, when she had arrived at the period of calm reflection. On the two former occasions the intrigue20 had begun in the same way. Usually Madame Bergeret felt much flattered whenever she made a favourable21 impression on any man of position. She watched carefully for any signs of interest they might show in her, and she never considered them exaggerated in any way, for she believed herself to be very alluring22. Twice before the affair with M. Roux, she had allowed things to go on up to the point where, for a woman, there is henceforth neither physical power to put a stop to them, nor moral advantage to be gained by so doing. The first time the intrigue had been with an elderly man who was very experienced, by no means egotistic, and very anxious to please her. But her pleasure in him was spoilt by the worry which always accompanies a first lapse23. The second time she took more interest in the affair, but unfortunately her accomplice24 was lacking in experience, and now113 M. Roux had caused her so much annoyance25 that she was unable even to remember what had happened before they were surprised. If she attempted to recall to herself their posture26 on the sofa, it was only in order to guess at what M. Bergeret had been able to deduce from it, so that she might make sure up to what point she could still lie to him and deceive him.
She was humiliated27 and annoyed, and whenever she thought of her big girls, she felt ashamed: she knew that she had made herself ridiculous. But fear was the last feeling in her mind, for either by craft or audacity28, she felt sure she could manage this gentle, timid man, so ignorant of the ways of the world, so far inferior to herself.
She had never lost the idea that she was immeasurably superior to M. Bergeret. This notion inspired all her words and acts, nay29, even her silence. She suffered from the pride of race, for she was a Pouilly, the daughter of Pouilly, the University Inspector30, the niece of Pouilly of the Dictionary, the great-granddaughter of a Pouilly who, in 1811, composed la Mythologie des Demoiselles and l’Abeille des Dames31. She had been encouraged by her father in this sentiment of family pride.
What was a Bergeret by the side of a Pouilly? She had, therefore, no misgivings32 as to the result of the struggle which she foresaw, and she awaited114 her husband’s return with an attitude of boldness dashed with cunning. But when, at lunch time, she heard him going downstairs, a shade of anxiety crept over her mind. When he was out of her sight, this husband of hers disquieted33 her: he became mysterious, almost formidable. She wore out her nerves in imagining what he would say to her and in preparing different deceitful or defiant34 answers, according to the circumstances. She strained and stiffened35 her courage, in order to repel36 attack. She pictured to herself pitiable attitudes and threats of suicide followed by a scene of reconciliation37. By the time evening came, she was thoroughly38 unnerved. She cried and bit her handkerchief. Now she wanted, she longed for explanations, abuse, violent speeches. She waited for M. Bergeret with burning impatience39, and at nine o’clock she at last recognised his step on the landing. But he did not come into her room; the little maid came instead:
“Monsieur says,” she announced, with a sly, pert grin, “that I’m to put up the iron bedstead for him in the study.”
Madame Bergeret said not a word, for she was thunderstruck.
点击收听单词发音
1 thwarted | |
阻挠( thwart的过去式和过去分词 ); 使受挫折; 挫败; 横过 | |
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2 prey | |
n.被掠食者,牺牲者,掠食;v.捕食,掠夺,折磨 | |
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3 unprecedented | |
adj.无前例的,新奇的 | |
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4 doorway | |
n.门口,(喻)入门;门路,途径 | |
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5 conclusive | |
adj.最后的,结论的;确凿的,消除怀疑的 | |
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6 soothing | |
adj.慰藉的;使人宽心的;镇静的 | |
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7 unfamiliar | |
adj.陌生的,不熟悉的 | |
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8 abominably | |
adv. 可恶地,可恨地,恶劣地 | |
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9 unwilling | |
adj.不情愿的 | |
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10 kindly | |
adj.和蔼的,温和的,爽快的;adv.温和地,亲切地 | |
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11 homely | |
adj.家常的,简朴的;不漂亮的 | |
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12 invincible | |
adj.不可征服的,难以制服的 | |
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13 possessed | |
adj.疯狂的;拥有的,占有的 | |
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14 temperament | |
n.气质,性格,性情 | |
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15 phantoms | |
n.鬼怪,幽灵( phantom的名词复数 ) | |
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16 remorse | |
n.痛恨,悔恨,自责 | |
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17 fishy | |
adj. 值得怀疑的 | |
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18 honourable | |
adj.可敬的;荣誉的,光荣的 | |
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19 maturity | |
n.成熟;完成;(支票、债券等)到期 | |
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20 intrigue | |
vt.激起兴趣,迷住;vi.耍阴谋;n.阴谋,密谋 | |
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21 favourable | |
adj.赞成的,称赞的,有利的,良好的,顺利的 | |
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22 alluring | |
adj.吸引人的,迷人的 | |
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23 lapse | |
n.过失,流逝,失效,抛弃信仰,间隔;vi.堕落,停止,失效,流逝;vt.使失效 | |
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24 accomplice | |
n.从犯,帮凶,同谋 | |
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25 annoyance | |
n.恼怒,生气,烦恼 | |
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26 posture | |
n.姿势,姿态,心态,态度;v.作出某种姿势 | |
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27 humiliated | |
感到羞愧的 | |
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28 audacity | |
n.大胆,卤莽,无礼 | |
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29 nay | |
adv.不;n.反对票,投反对票者 | |
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30 inspector | |
n.检查员,监察员,视察员 | |
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31 dames | |
n.(在英国)夫人(一种封号),夫人(爵士妻子的称号)( dame的名词复数 );女人 | |
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32 misgivings | |
n.疑虑,担忧,害怕;疑虑,担心,恐惧( misgiving的名词复数 );疑惧 | |
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33 disquieted | |
v.使不安,使忧虑,使烦恼( disquiet的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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34 defiant | |
adj.无礼的,挑战的 | |
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35 stiffened | |
加强的 | |
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36 repel | |
v.击退,抵制,拒绝,排斥 | |
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37 reconciliation | |
n.和解,和谐,一致 | |
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38 thoroughly | |
adv.完全地,彻底地,十足地 | |
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39 impatience | |
n.不耐烦,急躁 | |
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40 quelled | |
v.(用武力)制止,结束,镇压( quell的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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