“I’ve had a good chat and smoke with Pogson,” replied Thud, throwing himself on the sofa; “and as talking and tobacco make one dry, we had something to wet our whistles. He’s no water-drinker, like Oscar.”
“I do not think that Pogson is a good companion for you, Thud,” said Io.
“That’s little you know,” was the rude reply. Thud could treat his sister as he liked when her husband was absent.
“What did you talk about?” inquired Io.
“Oh, a lot of things, scientific and other; but Pogson is not scientific. He only laughed at my theory of there being animalcula in fire, as well as in water and air. He said I’d burn my fingers in trying to find them, though it goes to reason that what is found in three elements is sure to be in the fourth, though philosophers have not yet found them out.”
“I do not wonder at Pogson’s not caring for such theories,” said Io. “Perhaps your search for animalcula in the candle will result in the grand discovery of some poor moths1 who have singed2 off their wings in the flame.”
“We talked of other matters too, not scientific,” said Thud, who was busying himself in picking out threads from the fringe of a handsome cushion. “Pogson told me a great deal about his voyage in the Argus. You would have liked that, for he spoke3 so much about Oscar.”
“What did he say of my husband?” asked Io, roused to interest.
“Oh! that he was very sociable4 and very amusing; sang songs and told anecdotes5 without end, except when he walked up and down the deck, holding grave discourse6 with a man called Mace7. During the latter part of the voyage, however, Oscar was much taken up with reading poetry, and carrying about chairs for, and playing the agreeable to, a handsome widow whom they picked up at Malta.”
“What widow?” asked Io Coldstream.
“One whose husband had died at Malta, and who took the opportunity of returning home in the Argus. Pogson says that she was a former friend of Oscar, a very particular friend, probably before her marriage. Anyways, Mrs. Mortimer—that’s her name—told Pogson that she has a picture in which she and Oscar are taken together, she sitting on a mossy bank, and Oscar offering her a rose.”
“Thud, you talk nonsense!” exclaimed Io indignantly. Her cheek was flushed and burning, but her hands trembled as if with cold.
“I never talk nonsense,” said Thud majestically8, “and I have no reason to think that Pogson does so either. The widow’s Christian9 name is Adelaide, for she said that hers is the same as the Queen’s. She usually addressed Oscar by his Christian name, in quite a familiar way. He used to take great care of her; she was clearly a very particular friend indeed. You had better ask Oscar about her.”
Io felt as if her heart had suddenly become like a stone; but she reproached herself indignantly for giving one moment’s credit to such idle gossip. She would not let Thud see that he had inflicted10 a pang11; but had his thick fingers not been so engaged in spoiling the fringe, had he glanced up for a moment, even Thud would have seen in his sister’s face the annoyance12 caused by his words.
“I wish that you would leave that cushion alone,” said Io sharply. It was to hide her agitation13 under the semblance14 of anger.
“You are as cross as a crustacean15 to-day,” said Thud, throwing the cushion away. “I don’t see the use of your church-going, if you come back in such a bad temper;” and so saying, he quitted the room.
“How foolish, how absurd, how wrong in me to think anything of such talk!” said Io to herself. “My dear husband is always courteous16, to a widow he would be doubly so; as for what that silly fellow said about the picture, I would not credit it for a moment. Adelaide Mortimer!” Io revolved17 in her mind whether she had ever heard the name from Oscar’s lips; but no, she could not recall his having once mentioned to her this very particular friend.
It still wanted an hour to dinner time; that hour might be pleasantly and profitably spent in reading, especially if Io read with Oscar. The lady chose her book, and then went into the veranda18 to look for her husband. Oscar was not there, but he had left the small volume of Herbert’s poems on the chair on which he had been seated during his interview with the chaplain.
“A few of Herbert’s quaint19 verses will be refreshing,” thought Io. “I never possessed20 a copy of his works of my own. What dainty delicate binding21!” and the lady took up the pretty volume.
Io opened at the title-page to see who had published the graceful22 edition. But it was not on title of work or publisher’s name that her eyes were riveted23 now; it was no thought of Herbert that made her cheek, so lately flushed, turn almost as white as the paper on which she looked. Above the printed title was written, in a delicate feminine hand: Oscar William Coldstream. With Adelaide Mortimer’s love.
Io uttered no exclamation24, gave no start; she gazed for several minutes on the inscription25, and then deliberately26 closed the volume and laid it down again in the place from which she had raised it. Io went back into the house, entered her own room, closed the door and bolted it, but almost like one who walks in a dream. Her soul was in a state of wild chaos27; it was some time before she could sufficiently28 collect her thoughts to draw any inferences, form any conjectures29.
Then, like machinery30 suddenly put into violent motion, Io’s mind began to work on the few facts from which she might draw some clue to the cause of the terrible change in Oscar when he returned to England. He had been happy when he had embarked31, wretched when he landed. One idea, like wheel within wheel, linked itself with another, while Io’s brain seemed to turn round with the action of passionate32 thought.
Had Oscar loved Adelaide before he had even known of the existence of Io? Had Mrs. Mortimer’s marriage divided her from a former lover by an impassable gulf33? After a bitter disappointment, had Oscar tried to find solace34 by winning the love and confidence of an unsuspecting heart, and asked in marriage a girl to whom he could but offer an empty casket, from which the jewel of affection had been stolen away? On arriving in Malta, had Oscar found the once impassable gulf bridged over; had the unexpected meeting with Adelaide, no longer as far removed from him as a star, revived old memories, kindled35 new hopes? And then had Oscar remembered with pain that he had bound himself in honour to marry one whom he never could love as he once had loved?
Io could not have put such ideas into words, but they were working, and tearing her heart as a machine rends36 and wrenches37 a human limb entangled38 amongst its whirling wheels. She could hardly reason, but she keenly suffered. Hard did Io strive so to collect her ideas as to find out whether her new discovery would account for that gloom in her husband which had seemed to her so mysterious. Oscar had received no letter from her at Malta, none by the Channel pilot: had her apparent neglect caused him pain, or perhaps a sense of relief? Had he caught at a hope that he might be free? What had prompted that strange question when they met, “Are you glad?” Had he wished her to turn away and say “No”? Oscar was evidently undergoing some terrible inward struggle, and was suffering still from its effects. Was it the struggle between inclination39, love, passion, and a sense of honour, a feeling of duty? Io remembered, almost with horror, that during the first part of his illness Oscar could not endure to have her near him; that he only suffered her presence when the sight of the letter which Thud had detained had shown him the depth of the affection which, as Io now thought in her anguish40, he knew that he could never fully41 return. Oscar had not even asked that a wedding-day should be fixed42, till he found that to break off his engagement would be to leave his betrothed43 to poverty as well as to distress44. Oscar had generously sacrificed himself to save her, preferring honour to happiness, giving pity instead of love! Io literally45 writhed46 under such thoughts.
“Oh, why did Oscar not speak out frankly47! why did he not tell me that he could not give me a heart which was no longer his own!” exclaimed Io in the bitterness of her anguish. “I would not have upbraided48 him; I would have set him free; I would have severed49 the bond between us, had my poor heart been broken too. Oscar should never have stood at the altar to give me that cold, corpse-like hand, or to take vows50 which are now an intolerable burden to a sensitive conscience like his.”
Alas51 for the woman who lets the scorpion52 jealousy53 creep into the shrine54 of her heart! It brings with it a brood of other reptiles—wounded pride, unreasonable55 dislike, doubt of the truth of human affection, too often doubt of the love of God. Poor Hopeful was indeed now in the dungeon-keep of the giant. The water-lily that had risen above the waters of trouble now appeared to be withering56, dying, from the worm secretly gnawing57 at its root.
In the midst of her agony of mind Io was loyal to her husband. She did not blame him; he was generous, good, and kind. Oscar was, Io felt, doing his utmost to keep faithfully vows that should never have been made. He was trying by constant, most considerate kindness to make up for the absence of love. What should she do now? She could do nothing but accept the gracious pity which for her had a sting. Pity! How Io hated the word, and how she hated herself for so doing! In the morning of that Sabbath day she could not have believed that she could have fallen so far. Io seemed to herself a different being from the young wife who had so peacefully walked to church leaning on the arm of her husband. How some sudden temptation often opens our eyes to our own inconsistency of character, our weakness, worthlessness, and sin! We thought that we were safe and strong, and behold58, a perilous59 fall!
“Perhaps the angel’s slackened hand
Hath suffered it, that we may rise,
And take a firmer, surer stand;
Or trusting less to earthly things,
May henceforth learn to use our wings.”
Whilst Io was agonizing60 in her own room, Oscar was in his study, kneeling, with clasped hands, in the attitude of prayer, but the words gasped61 out were not words of submission62. “Any sacrifice but this, any cross but this!” was all that burst, as if wrung63 by extreme mental suffering, from his pale lips.
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1
moths
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| n.蛾( moth的名词复数 ) | |
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singed
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| v.浅表烧焦( singe的过去式和过去分词 )；（毛发）燎，烧焦尖端[边儿] | |
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3
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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sociable
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| adj.好交际的，友好的，合群的 | |
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anecdotes
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| n.掌故，趣闻，轶事( anecdote的名词复数 ) | |
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discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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mace
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| n.狼牙棒，豆蔻干皮 | |
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majestically
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| 雄伟地； 庄重地； 威严地； 崇高地 | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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inflicted
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| 把…强加给，使承受，遭受( inflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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pang
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| n.剧痛，悲痛，苦闷 | |
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annoyance
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| n.恼怒，生气，烦恼 | |
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agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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semblance
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| n.外貌，外表 | |
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crustacean
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| n.甲壳动物；adj.甲壳纲的 | |
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courteous
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| adj.彬彬有礼的，客气的 | |
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17
revolved
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| v.（使）旋转( revolve的过去式和过去分词 )；细想 | |
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veranda
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| n.走廊；阳台 | |
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quaint
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| adj.古雅的，离奇有趣的，奇怪的 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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binding
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| 有约束力的，有效的，应遵守的 | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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riveted
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| 铆接( rivet的过去式和过去分词 )； 把…固定住； 吸引； 引起某人的注意 | |
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24
exclamation
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| n.感叹号，惊呼，惊叹词 | |
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25
inscription
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| n.（尤指石块上的）刻印文字，铭文，碑文 | |
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deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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chaos
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| n.混乱，无秩序 | |
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sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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conjectures
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| 推测，猜想( conjecture的名词复数 ) | |
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30
machinery
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| n.(总称)机械，机器；机构 | |
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31
embarked
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| 乘船( embark的过去式和过去分词 )； 装载； 从事 | |
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32
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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33
gulf
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| n.海湾；深渊，鸿沟；分歧，隔阂 | |
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34
solace
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| n.安慰；v.使快乐；vt.安慰(物)，缓和 | |
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35
kindled
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| （使某物）燃烧，着火( kindle的过去式和过去分词 )； 激起（感情等）； 发亮，放光 | |
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36
rends
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| v.撕碎( rend的第三人称单数 )；分裂；（因愤怒、痛苦等而）揪扯（衣服或头发等）；（声音等）刺破 | |
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37
wrenches
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| n.一拧( wrench的名词复数 )；（身体关节的）扭伤；扳手；（尤指离别的）悲痛v.（猛力地）扭( wrench的第三人称单数 )；扭伤；使感到痛苦；使悲痛 | |
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38
entangled
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| adj.卷入的；陷入的；被缠住的；缠在一起的v.使某人（某物/自己）缠绕，纠缠于（某物中），使某人（自己）陷入（困难或复杂的环境中）( entangle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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39
inclination
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| n.倾斜；点头；弯腰；斜坡；倾度；倾向；爱好 | |
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40
anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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41
fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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42
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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43
betrothed
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| n. 已订婚者 动词betroth的过去式和过去分词 | |
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44
distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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45
literally
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| adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实 | |
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46
writhed
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| （因极度痛苦而）扭动或翻滚( writhe的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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47
frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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48
upbraided
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| v.责备，申斥，谴责( upbraid的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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49
severed
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| v.切断，断绝( sever的过去式和过去分词 )；断，裂 | |
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50
vows
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| 誓言( vow的名词复数 )； 郑重宣布，许愿 | |
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51
alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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52
scorpion
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| n.蝎子，心黑的人，蝎子鞭 | |
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53
jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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54
shrine
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| n.圣地，神龛，庙；v.将...置于神龛内，把...奉为神圣 | |
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55
unreasonable
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| adj.不讲道理的，不合情理的，过度的 | |
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56
withering
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| 使人畏缩的，使人害羞的，使人难堪的 | |
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57
gnawing
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| a.痛苦的，折磨人的 | |
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58
behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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perilous
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| adj.危险的，冒险的 | |
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60
agonizing
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| adj.痛苦难忍的；使人苦恼的v.使极度痛苦；折磨(agonize的ing形式) | |
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61
gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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62
submission
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| n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出 | |
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63
wrung
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| 绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 )； 握紧（尤指别人的手）； 把（湿衣服）拧干； 绞掉（水） | |
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