SITTING IN THE BARBER'S CHAIR

 Once every ten weeks or so we get our hair cut.

 

We are not generally parsimonious¹ of our employer's time, but somehow we do hate to squander² that thirty-three minutes, which is the exact chronicide involved in despoiling³ our skull⁴ of a ten weeks' garner⁵. If we were to have our hair cut at the end of eight weeks the shearing⁶ would take only thirty-one minutes; but we can never bring ourselves to rob our employer of that much time until we reckon he is really losing prestige by our unkempt appearance. Of course, we believe in having our hair cut during office hours. That is the only device we know to make the hateful operation tolerable.

 

To the times mentioned above should be added fifteen seconds, which is the slice of eternity⁷ needed to trim, prune⁸ and chasten our mustache, which is not a large group of foliage⁹.

 

We knew a traveling man who never got his hair cut except when he was on the road, which permitted him to include the transaction in his expense account; but somehow it seems to us more ethical¹⁰ to steal time than to steal money.

 

We like to view this whole matter in a philosophical¹¹ and ultra-pragmatic way. Some observers have hazarded that our postponement¹² of haircuts is due to mere¹³ lethargy and inertia¹⁴, but that is not so. Every time we get our locks shorn our wife tells us that we have got them too short. She says that our head has a very homely¹⁶ and bourgeois¹⁷ bullet shape, a sort of pithecanthropoid contour, which is revealed by a close trim. After five weeks' growth, however, we begin to look quite distinguished¹⁸. The difficulty then is to ascertain¹⁹ just when the law of diminishing returns comes into play. When do we cease to look distinguished and begin to appear merely slovenly²⁰? Careful study has taught us that this begins to take place at the end of sixty-five days, in warm weather. Add five days or so for natural procrastination²¹ and devilment, and we have seventy days interval²², which we have posited²³ as the ideal orbit for our tonsorial ecstasies²⁴.

 

When at last we have hounded ourself into robbing our employer of those thirty-three minutes, plus fifteen seconds for you know what, we find ourself in the barber's chair. Despairingly we gaze about at the little blue flasks²⁵ with flowers enameled²⁶ on them; at the piles of clean towels; at the bottles of mandrake essence which we shall presently have to affirm or deny. Under any other circumstances we should deeply enjoy a half hour spent in a comfortable chair, with nothing to do but do nothing. Our barber is a delightful²⁷ fellow; he looks benign²⁸ and does not prattle²⁹; he respects the lobes³⁰ of our ears and other vulnerabilia. But for some inscrutable reason we feel strangely ill at ease in his chair. We can't think of anything to think about. Blankly we brood in the hope of catching³¹ the hem¹⁵ of some intimation of immortality³². But no, there is nothing to do but sit there, useless as an incubator with no eggs in it. The processes of wasting and decay are hurrying us rapidly to a pauperish grave, every instant brings us closer to a notice in the obit column, and yet we sit and sit without two worthy³³ thoughts to rub against each other.

 

Oh, the poverty of mortal mind, the sad meagerness of the human soul! Here we are, a vital, breathing entity³⁴, transformed to a mere chemical carcass by the bleak³⁵ magic of the barber's chair. In our anatomy³⁶ of melancholy³⁷ there are no such atrabiliar moments as those thirty-three (and a quarter) minutes once every ten weeks. Roughly speaking, we spend three hours of this living death every year.

 

And yet, perhaps it is worth it, for what a jocund³⁸ and pantheistic merriment possesses us when we escape from the shop! Bay-rummed, powdered, shorn, brisk and perfumed, we fare down the street exhaling³⁹ the syrups⁴⁰ of Cathay. Once more we can take our rightful place among aggressive and well-groomed men; we can look in the face without blenching⁴¹ those human leviathans who are ever creased⁴², razored, and white-margined as to vest. We are a man among men and our untethered mind jostles the stars. We have had our hair cut, and no matter what gross contours our cropped skull may display to wives or ethnologists, we are a free man for ten dear weeks.

 

1 parsimonious   

adj.吝啬的，质量低劣的

参考例句：

• Many scrollbars are quite parsimonious in doling out information to users.很多滚动条都很吝啬，给用户传递的信息太少。
• His parsimonious nature did not permit him to enjoy any luxuries.他那吝啬的本性不容许他享受任何奢侈品。

2 squander   

v.浪费，挥霍

参考例句：

• Don't squander your time in reading those dime novels.不要把你的时间浪费在读那些胡编乱造的廉价小说上。
• Every chance is precious，so don't squander any chance away!每次机会都很宝贵，所以不要将任何一个白白放走。

3 despoiling   

v.掠夺，抢劫( despoil的现在分词 )

参考例句：

4 skull   

n.头骨；颅骨

参考例句：

• The skull bones fuse between the ages of fifteen and twenty-five.头骨在15至25岁之间长合。
• He fell out of the window and cracked his skull.他从窗子摔了出去，跌裂了颅骨。

5 garner   

v.收藏；取得

参考例句：

• He has garnered extensive support for his proposals.他的提议得到了广泛的支持。
• Squirrels garner nuts for the winter.松鼠为过冬储存松果。

6 shearing   

n.剪羊毛，剪取的羊毛v.剪羊毛( shear的现在分词 )；切断；剪切

参考例句：

• The farmer is shearing his sheep. 那农夫正在给他的羊剪毛。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The result of this shearing force is to push the endoplasm forward. 这种剪切力作用的结果是推动内质向前。 来自辞典例句

7 eternity   

n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷

参考例句：

• The dull play seemed to last an eternity.这场乏味的剧似乎演个没完没了。
• Finally,Ying Tai and Shan Bo could be together for all of eternity.英台和山伯终能双宿双飞，永世相随。

8 prune   

n.酶干；vt.修剪，砍掉，削减；vi.删除

参考例句：

• Will you prune away the unnecessary adjectives in the passage?把这段文字中不必要的形容词删去好吗？
• It is our job to prune the side branches of these trees.我们的工作就是修剪这些树的侧枝。

9 foliage   

n.叶子，树叶，簇叶

参考例句：

• The path was completely covered by the dense foliage.小路被树叶厚厚地盖了一层。
• Dark foliage clothes the hills.浓密的树叶覆盖着群山。

10 ethical   

adj.伦理的，道德的，合乎道德的

参考例句：

• It is necessary to get the youth to have a high ethical concept.必须使青年具有高度的道德观念。
• It was a debate which aroused fervent ethical arguments.那是一场引发强烈的伦理道德争论的辩论。

11 philosophical   

adj.哲学家的，哲学上的，达观的

参考例句：

• The teacher couldn't answer the philosophical problem.老师不能解答这个哲学问题。
• She is very philosophical about her bad luck.她对自己的不幸看得很开。

12 postponement   

n.推迟

参考例句：

• He compounded with his creditors for a postponement of payment. 他与债权人达成协议延期付款。
• Rain caused the postponement of several race-meetings. 几次赛马大会因雨延期。

13 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。

14 inertia   

adj.惰性，惯性，懒惰，迟钝

参考例句：

• We had a feeling of inertia in the afternoon.下午我们感觉很懒。
• Inertia carried the plane onto the ground.飞机靠惯性着陆。

15 hem   

n.贴边，镶边；vt.缝贴边；(in)包围，限制

参考例句：

• The hem on her skirt needs sewing.她裙子上的褶边需要缝一缝。
• The hem of your dress needs to be let down an inch.你衣服的折边有必要放长1英寸。

16 homely   

adj.家常的，简朴的；不漂亮的

参考例句：

• We had a homely meal of bread and cheese.我们吃了一顿面包加乳酪的家常便餐。
• Come and have a homely meal with us,will you?来和我们一起吃顿家常便饭，好吗？

17 bourgeois   

adj./n.追求物质享受的(人)；中产阶级分子

参考例句：

• He's accusing them of having a bourgeois and limited vision.他指责他们像中产阶级一样目光狭隘。
• The French Revolution was inspired by the bourgeois.法国革命受到中产阶级的鼓励。

18 distinguished   

adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的

参考例句：

• Elephants are distinguished from other animals by their long noses.大象以其长长的鼻子显示出与其他动物的不同。
• A banquet was given in honor of the distinguished guests.宴会是为了向贵宾们致敬而举行的。

19 ascertain   

vt.发现，确定，查明，弄清

参考例句：

• It's difficult to ascertain the coal deposits.煤储量很难探明。
• We must ascertain the responsibility in light of different situtations.我们必须根据不同情况判定责任。

20 slovenly   

adj.懒散的，不整齐的，邋遢的

参考例句：

• People were scandalized at the slovenly management of the company.人们对该公司草率的经营感到愤慨。
• Such slovenly work habits will never produce good products.这样马马虎虎的工作习惯决不能生产出优质产品来。

21 procrastination   

n.拖延，耽搁

参考例句：

• Procrastination is the father of failure. 因循是失败的根源。
• Procrastination is the thief of time. 拖延就是浪费时间。

22 interval   

n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息

参考例句：

• The interval between the two trees measures 40 feet.这两棵树的间隔是40英尺。
• There was a long interval before he anwsered the telephone.隔了好久他才回了电话。

23 posited   

v.假定，设想，假设( posit的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• Several writers have posited the idea of a universal consciousness. 有几个作者都假设存在普遍意识。 来自辞典例句
• All cash receipts should be recorded and de-posited daily. 所有的现金收据应该被每日记录和存放。 来自互联网

24 ecstasies   

狂喜( ecstasy的名词复数 )； 出神； 入迷； 迷幻药

参考例句：

• In such ecstasies that he even controlled his tongue and was silent. 但他闭着嘴，一言不发。
• We were in ecstasies at the thought of going home. 一想到回家，我们高兴极了。

25 flasks   

n.瓶，长颈瓶， 烧瓶( flask的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The juggler juggled three flasks. 这个玩杂耍的人可同时抛接三个瓶子。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The meat in all of the open flasks putrefied. 所有开口瓶中的肉都腐烂了。 来自辞典例句

26 enameled   

涂瓷釉于，给…上瓷漆，给…上彩饰( enamel的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The grey walls were divided into artificial paneling by strips of white-enameled pine. 灰色的墙壁用漆白的松木条隔成镶板的模样。
• I want a pair of enameled leather shoes in size 38. 我要一双38号的亮漆皮鞋。

27 delightful   

adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的

参考例句：

• We had a delightful time by the seashore last Sunday.上星期天我们在海滨玩得真痛快。
• Peter played a delightful melody on his flute.彼得用笛子吹奏了一支欢快的曲子。

28 benign   

adj.善良的，慈祥的；良性的，无危险的

参考例句：

• The benign weather brought North America a bumper crop.温和的气候给北美带来大丰收。
• Martha is a benign old lady.玛莎是个仁慈的老妇人。

29 prattle   

n.闲谈；v.（小孩般）天真无邪地说话；发出连续而无意义的声音

参考例句：

• Amy's happy prattle became intolerable.艾美兴高采烈地叽叽喳喳说个不停，汤姆感到无法忍受。
• Flowing water and green grass witness your lover's endless prattle.流水缠绕，小草依依，都是你诉不尽的情话。

30 lobes   

n.耳垂( lobe的名词复数 )；（器官的）叶；肺叶；脑叶

参考例句：

• The rotor has recesses in its three faces between the lobes. 转子在其凸角之间的三个面上有凹槽。 来自辞典例句
• The chalazal parts of the endosperm containing free nuclei forms several lobes. 包含游离核的合点端胚乳部分形成几个裂片。 来自辞典例句

31 catching   

adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住

参考例句：

• There are those who think eczema is catching.有人就是认为湿疹会传染。
• Enthusiasm is very catching.热情非常富有感染力。

32 immortality   

n.不死，不朽

参考例句：

• belief in the immortality of the soul 灵魂不灭的信念
• It was like having immortality while you were still alive. 仿佛是当你仍然活着的时候就得到了永生。

33 worthy   

adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的

参考例句：

• I did not esteem him to be worthy of trust.我认为他不值得信赖。
• There occurred nothing that was worthy to be mentioned.没有值得一提的事发生。

34 entity   

n.实体，独立存在体，实际存在物

参考例句：

• The country is no longer one political entity.这个国家不再是一个统一的政治实体了。
• As a separate legal entity,the corporation must pay taxes.作为一个独立的法律实体，公司必须纳税。

35 bleak   

adj.(天气)阴冷的；凄凉的；暗淡的

参考例句：

• They showed me into a bleak waiting room.他们引我来到一间阴冷的会客室。
• The company's prospects look pretty bleak.这家公司的前景异常暗淡。

36 anatomy   

n.解剖学，解剖；功能，结构，组织

参考例句：

• He found out a great deal about the anatomy of animals.在动物解剖学方面，他有过许多发现。
• The hurricane's anatomy was powerful and complex.对飓风的剖析是一项庞大而复杂的工作。

37 melancholy   

n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的

参考例句：

• All at once he fell into a state of profound melancholy.他立即陷入无尽的忧思之中。
• He felt melancholy after he failed the exam.这次考试没通过，他感到很郁闷。

38 jocund   

adj.快乐的，高兴的

参考例句：

• A poet could not but be gay in such a jocund company.一个诗人在这种兴高采烈的同伴中自然而然地会快乐。
• Her jocund character made her the most popular girl in the county.她快乐的个性使她成为这个郡最受欢迎的女孩。

39 exhaling   

v.呼出，发散出( exhale的现在分词 )；吐出（肺中的空气、烟等），呼气

参考例句：

• Take a deep breath inhaling slowly and exhaling slowly. 深呼吸，慢慢吸进，慢慢呼出。 来自互联网
• Unclasp your hands and return to the original position while exhaling. 呼气并松开双手恢复到原位。 来自互联网

40 syrups   

n.糖浆，糖汁( syrup的名词复数 )；糖浆类药品

参考例句：

• A variety of cocktails were created all using Monin syrups and purees. 我们用莫林糖浆和果泥创作了许多鸡尾酒。 来自互联网
• Other applications include fruit juices, flavors, and sugar syrups. 其它的应用包括水果汁、香精和糖浆。 来自互联网

41 blenching   

v.（因惊吓而）退缩，惊悸( blench的现在分词 )；（使）变白，（使）变苍白

参考例句：

42 creased   

（使…）起折痕，弄皱( crease的过去式和过去分词 )； （皮肤）皱起，使起皱纹； 皱皱巴巴

参考例句：

• You've creased my newspaper. 你把我的报纸弄皱了。
• The bullet merely creased his shoulder. 子弹只不过擦破了他肩部的皮肤。