Ned tried it with his teeth, tapped it on the edge of the railing and eyed it anxiously. “Perfectly good,” he replied finally. “It seems to be made of silver.”
“Thought it might be a lead quarter,” said Dan.
“Fever near, sir; fever near!”
“Eh?”
“I said fever near.”
“What’s that?”
“That’s a phrase of reassurance1 spoken in my new universal language.”
“Your new what?”
“Universal language,” replied Ned gravely, seating himself on the railing. “It’s away ahead of Esperanto, while as for Volapuk—why, Volapuk’s dead and buried. The beauty of my system—”
“What do you call it?”
Ned’s hesitation2 was infinitesimal, and he answered[206] without the flicker3 of an eyelash. “Tookeranto. As I was saying, its greatest beauty is its simplicity4. You merely change the first letters of your words; I think transpose is the word I should have used. For instance, I say to you, ‘That’s a pice shair of noes you have,’ and you understand me at once.”
“The dickens I do!” Dan laughed.
“You don’t? But you would get me if I told you you were pitting on the sorch of the Hashington’s Wead?”
“Once more, please, and give me something easier,” begged Dan.
“Very well; set me lee. I suppose you know that you had choast ricken for dinner?”
“Roast chicken! But how the dickens do you do it so quickly? I’d have to think an hour.”
“For goodness’ sake, shut up!” laughed Dan. “You’ll have me crazy. It’s a wonderful language, though. I shall study it. Have you written a book about it yet?”
“Yot net,” replied Ned, shaking his head, “but I’m toing go. When I do I shall dedicate it to Van Dinton.”
Dan put his hands to his ears and jumped up.[207] “Come on,” he cried, “and let me take you home before you get any worse!”
“You mean,” began Ned gravely.
“No, I don’t! Shut up! Have we paid for dinner yet? I’ve eaten so much I’ve forgotten what has happened.”
“We have not. Let’s find mine host and settle up.”
“Now I know why you worked so hard for that tip. You’re going to help pay for your dinner with it.”
“That quarter? Never! Do you realize, sir, that that is absolutely the first money I ever earned? Is not that a beautiful thought? I shall always keep that quarter, always treasure it.” He slipped it into his vest pocket and patted it fondly. “You never realize the value of money, Vinton, until you earn it by the sweat of your brow.”
“Your brow hasn’t sweated ten cents’ worth,” laughed Dan. “Come on and let’s hunt up Mr. Washington.”
“I wish,” murmured Ned regretfully when they had each enriched the hotel exchequer6 with a dollar bill, “I wish I had eaten that fourth fritter!”
They walked back rather more leisurely7 through the late sunlight, reaching school just as twilight8 descended9.
[208]
“I never thought,” Ned confided10 as they parted in front of Clarke, “that I’d have any appetite for supper, but, to quote our English cousins again, I feel a bit peckish, don’t you know.”
“I’m hungry again myself,” Dan answered. “I say, we had an awfully12 good time, didn’t we? Let’s try it again some day, eh? Much obliged to you, Tooker, for coming along. I suppose you thought I was sort of crazy, but it was Payson’s idea; he thought I needed a tramp, and so I asked you—”
“Thank you,” said Ned gravely. “I may be a tramp, but you needn’t throw it in my face.”
“I’m sorry; hope I didn’t hurt your feelings. Come and see me, will you? Come over to-night for a while.”
“Not to-night, for I told Burtis I’d drop in on him. But I’ll be around soon. Lo song.”
“Eh? Oh, so long. I’m crazy about your Tookeritis—”
“Tookeranto, please,” Ned corrected.
“Whatever it is; and I’m going to study it so I can understand what you’re saying now and then.”
“Unkind, unkind!” murmured Ned sorrowfully. “I fid you barewell, Van Dinton.”
Kendall had news for Ned that evening when the latter called on him, but owing to the fact[209] that Harold Towne was in the room he couldn’t confide11 it for a time. Harold entertained a large respect and admiration13 for Ned Tooker, and whenever he was on hand on the occasions of Ned’s visits he always set out to make himself agreeable. Harold’s notion of being agreeable was to monopolize14 most of the conversation, carefully selecting subjects which he believed Ned to be interested in and rattling15 away on them with an assurance that was at once irritating and amusing. Ned detested16 Kendall’s roommate heartily17, but managed to be polite no matter how much Harold’s chatter18 annoyed him. To-night Harold quite surpassed himself, playing the r?le of host from the moment of Ned’s appearance.
“Hello, Tooker!” Harold cried. “Awfully glad to see you. Kendall, pull that chair around for Tooker. Throw your cap anywhere; this is Liberty Hall.”
“Oh, he’s been grinding at his books all the afternoon,” said Harold. “I tell him he’s after a scholarship.”
“Very commendable20 ambition,” said Ned soberly. “I tried it myself once and came within one of getting a Burrows21. I wrote home about it and my dad wrote back that he guessed that[210] was about as near as I’d ever get to making fifty dollars. Such ingratitude22 was naturally discouraging and I never tried again.”
Harold laughed uproariously and Ned observed him in grave surprise.
“I made a quarter to-day, though,” he went on. “Walked over to Lloyd for dinner and held a man’s auto23 for him and he gave me a quarter. Here it is. Looks all right, doesn’t it?” He passed it to Kendall.
“Seems to be real money,” laughed Kendall. “What do you mean by saying you held a man’s auto? Looked after it for him?”
“Yes, held it by the bit. It was rather nervous, you see; tried to jump out of the shafts24 every time a leaf rustled25.”
“Oh, it was a horse?” said Harold.
“No, an automobile26! a dark bay with coppery points. It was very good-looking, too. Very deep in the radiator27, and had an arched neck and fine quarters. This is one of them.”
“You’re crazy, Ned,” laughed Kendall. “Was it a horse or was it an automobile?”
“Oh, I don’t know, but I got a quarter. And all I did was hold its head, bring a pail of water for it and polish the brass28. My, but it’s easy to earn money if you know how! Want to play some golf to-morrow?”
[211]
“Yes, I’d love to, if you care to bother with me,” answered Kendall. “But I would like to know about that horsomobile.”
“I’ve told you everything,” answered Ned with dignity. “If you doubt my story, why, here’s the quarter.”
“What were you doing at Lloyd?” asked Harold. “That’s ten or twelve miles, isn’t it?”
“Mushrooms? What for?”
“Oh, I collect them. Haven’t you ever seen my fungi30? You must come over some time and let me show them to you.”
“Honest, Tooker? I’d like to see them. Did you find any to-day? Any—er—interesting ones?”
“Um—a few. I got a good specimen31 of the canardius antarcticus; and a few of the Washingtonii and Danvintonii. It’s getting late for them, though. What I was especially anxious to find was the pufum mobilis, or rolling mushroom. You’ve seen that, I suppose.” Harold looked doubtful and murmured that he didn’t think he ever had. “Really? I thought most everyone knew the rolling mushroom. It’s called that because it rolls along the ground.”
[212]
“Rolls along the ground!” exclaimed Kendall. “I don’t believe it!”
Ned smiled kindly32 on his ignorance. “The mobilis,” he explained, “is one of the puff-balls, a small, round puff-ball. It is found on hillsides. Most puff-balls disseminate33 their pores—I mean spores34—by the aid of the wind, remaining where they grow. But the mobilis as soon as it attains35 maturity36 detaches itself from its stalk and begins to roll. As I have said, they always grow on the sides of hills. Consequently they roll to the bottom, sowing their spores as they go. We always look along the foot of a hill until we find the dead mobilis. Then we know that we shall find growing ones further up.”
“Jimminy, that’s quite interesting!” exclaimed Harold. “Do you know, I rather think I’ll go in for mushrooms myself! It must be lots of fun collecting them.”
“Not bad,” replied Ned. “But of course there’s always the element of danger.”
“How do you mean?” Harold asked.
“Well, there are certain kinds that are poisonous not only to touch but to approach. There’s the leoparditus, for instance, a large, angry mushroom—although it would be more correct to give it the popular name of toadstool—that has a purplish body with small livid spots on it. The[213] leoparditus is certain death if you touch it. Even if you only inhale37 its noxious38 fumes39”—Ned choked a little there—“noxious fumes you will break out with a very painful rash all over the body, more especially the exposed portions. Then there is the Gumponicum eachewupus, which hides in the deep woods and springs out at you as you unsuspectingly pass. Its bite is certain death.”
Ned paused and stared gravely at the drop-light. There was a moment of silence. Then Kendall began to chuckle40 and Harold got rather red in the face.
“You were just stringing us, weren’t you?” he asked, with an attempt at a laugh. “I suppose that was pretty funny, Tooker.”
“Far be it from me to praise my own efforts,” replied Ned modestly. “You asked me what I was doing at Lloyd. As I didn’t care to tell you the truth and am far too polite to request you to mind your own business I did the best I could. I hope you found it amusing.”
“Yes, but I knew all the time you were stringing,” said Harold uncomfortably.
“Your penetration41, Mr. Towne,” answered Ned graciously, “is most remarkable42.” Then he began to talk golf to Kendall, and five minutes later Harold said he had promised to see a fellow and[214] took his departure. Ned heaved a sigh of relief when the door had closed behind him.
“I can’t stand that fellow,” he said. “He gets me so nervous!”
Kendall laughed. “I don’t mind him as much as I did,” he said. “He means well enough, I guess.”
“All right in his way, but doesn’t weigh enough,” replied Ned flippantly. “Well, out with it, Curt.”
“Out with what?”
“I don’t know. Whatever it is. You’ve been fairly dying to tell me something ever since I got here. So let’s have it.”
“I don’t see how you knew,” said Kendall. “I was just going to tell you that Mr. Collins called me down to his study this afternoon and—”
Kendall nodded. Ned made a gesture of disappointment.
“Isn’t that the dickens?” he exclaimed. “Just when I was getting interested in you, too! I’ve never been chummy with a ‘real devil’ of a fellow before, and now you go and reform!”
“I haven’t reformed,” laughed Kendall. “I’ve just been pardoned for my former sins.”
[215]
“Ah! And you’re just as wicked as you ever were?”
“Just!”
“That’s better.” Ned sighed his relief. “I was afraid you were a reformed character, Curt. You see there are plenty of good, moral chaps in school; I know dozens of them; but you’re the first desperate character I ever got to know at all well. And so they’ve lifted the ban, eh? Well, that will help, won’t it? Now you’ll be free to take up your career of crime again. Whisper, Curt; what are you thinking of doing first? Had any experience with bombs? They tell me bombing is a pleasant and fairly safe amusement. Would you mind beginning on that roommate of yours? Incendiarism is another cute little way in which to pass an evening. I’ve often thought that Oxford44 would make a dandy blaze if you could get it started. Have you ever seriously considered murder? So many of our prominent citizens are going in for murder nowadays. And I can think of so many beautiful subjects for your attentions. Why, one needn’t look beyond his immediate45 acquaintances!”
“I’m going to try and get back on the Football Team the first thing,” said Kendall.
“Seriously?”
“Yes. Of course, I couldn’t make the First[216] Team now; it’s too late, I guess; but I might make the Second. What do you think?”
“I admire your courage. But I regret that you choose football when you might play golf. I was going to make a gandy dolfer out of you, Curt.”
“I can play golf after the football season,” said Kendall.
“Um; yes; but the two sciences are widely opposed. I’ve never known a football man who could swing a golf club decently. Football seems to—to deaden the sensibilities, whatever those may be, Curt. And a man must have sensibilities to play a good game of golf. However, if you are really determined46, come with me.”
“Where?” asked Kendall as Ned jumped up and rescued his cap from the floor.
“To see Vinton. If there’s a chance for you he will tell you.”
“Oh, but I wouldn’t like to do that, Ned!”
“You’ll do as I tell you! I’m going to make something out of you or bust47. If you won’t be a golfer you shall be a footballer. Come on and I’ll make arrangements.”
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1
reassurance
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| n.使放心，使消除疑虑 | |
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hesitation
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| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
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3
flicker
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| vi./n.闪烁，摇曳，闪现 | |
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4
simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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5
pimple
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| n.丘疹，面泡，青春豆 | |
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6
exchequer
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| n.财政部；国库 | |
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7
leisurely
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| adj.悠闲的；从容的，慢慢的 | |
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8
twilight
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| n.暮光，黄昏；暮年，晚期，衰落时期 | |
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9
descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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10
confided
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| v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的过去式和过去分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
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11
confide
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| v.向某人吐露秘密 | |
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12
awfully
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| adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地 | |
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13
admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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14
monopolize
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| v.垄断，独占，专营 | |
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15
rattling
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| adj. 格格作响的, 活泼的, 很好的 adv. 极其, 很, 非常 动词rattle的现在分词 | |
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16
detested
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| v.憎恶，嫌恶，痛恨( detest的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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17
heartily
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| adv.衷心地，诚恳地，十分，很 | |
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18
chatter
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| vi.／n.喋喋不休；短促尖叫；(牙齿)打战 | |
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19
curt
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| adj.简短的，草率的 | |
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20
commendable
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| adj.值得称赞的 | |
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21
burrows
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| n.地洞( burrow的名词复数 )v.挖掘（洞穴），挖洞( burrow的第三人称单数 )；翻寻 | |
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22
ingratitude
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| n.忘恩负义 | |
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23
auto
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| n.(=automobile)(口语)汽车 | |
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24
shafts
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| n.轴( shaft的名词复数 )；（箭、高尔夫球棒等的）杆；通风井；一阵（疼痛、害怕等） | |
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25
rustled
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| v.发出沙沙的声音( rustle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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26
automobile
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| n.汽车，机动车 | |
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27
radiator
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| n.暖气片，散热器 | |
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28
brass
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| n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器 | |
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29
jaunt
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| v.短程旅游；n.游览 | |
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30
fungi
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| n.真菌，霉菌 | |
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31
specimen
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| n.样本，标本 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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33
disseminate
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| v.散布；传播 | |
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34
spores
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| n.（细菌、苔藓、蕨类植物）孢子( spore的名词复数 )v.（细菌、苔藓、蕨类植物）孢子( spore的第三人称单数 ) | |
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35
attains
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的第三人称单数 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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36
maturity
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| n.成熟；完成；(支票、债券等)到期 | |
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37
inhale
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| v.吸入(气体等)，吸(烟) | |
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noxious
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| adj.有害的，有毒的；使道德败坏的，讨厌的 | |
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39
fumes
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| n.(强烈而刺激的)气味，气体 | |
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40
chuckle
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| vi.／n.轻声笑，咯咯笑 | |
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41
penetration
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| n.穿透，穿人，渗透 | |
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42
remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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43
probation
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| n.缓刑(期)，(以观后效的)察看；试用(期) | |
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44
Oxford
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| n.牛津（英国城市） | |
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45
immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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46
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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47
bust
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| vt.打破；vi.爆裂；n.半身像；胸部 | |
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