It was Saturday afternoon, and Peter went to a clothing store kept by a Socialist6, and bought himself a new hat and a new suit of clothes on credit. Then he went out on the street, and saw a neat little girl going into a picture-show, and followed her, and they struck up an acquaintance and had supper together. She was what Peter called a “swell7 dresser,” and it transpired8 that she worked in a manicure parlor9. Her idea of fun corresponded to Peter’s, and Peter spent all the money he had that Saturday evening, and made up his mind that if he could get something new on the Reds in the course of the week, he would strike McGivney for forty dollars.
Next morning was Easter Sunday, and Peter met his manicurist by appointment, and they went for a stroll on Park Avenue, which was the aristocratic street of American City and the scene of the “Easter parade.” It was war time, and many of the houses had flags out, and many of the men were in uniform, and all of the sermons dealt with martial10 themes. Christ, it appeared, was risen again to make the world safe for democracy, and to establish self-determination for all people; and Peter and Miss Frisbie both had on their best clothes, and watched the crowds in the “Easter parade,” and Miss Frisbie studied the costumes and make-up of the ladies, and picked up scraps11 of their conversation and whispered them to Peter, and made Peter feel that he was back on Mount Olympus again.
They turned into one of the swell Park Avenue churches; the Church of the Divine Compassion12 it was called, and it was very “high,” with candles and incense13—althogh you could hardly smell the incense on this occasion for the scent14 of the Easter lilies and the ladies. Peter and his friend were escorted to one of the leather covered pews, and they heard the Rev15. de Willoughby Stotterbridge, a famous pulpit orator16, deliver one of those patriotic17 sermons which were quoted in the “Times” almost every Monday morning. The Rev. de Willoughby Stotterbridge quoted some Old Testament19 text about exterminating20 the enemies of the Lord, and he sang the triumph of American arms, and the overwhelming superiority of American munitions21. He denounced the Bolsheviks and all other traitors22, and called for their instant suppression; he didn’t say that he had actually been among the crowd which had horse-whipped the I. W. Ws. and smashed the printing presses and typewriters of the Socialists23, but he made it unmistakably clear that that was what he wanted, and Peter’s bosom24 swelled25 with happy pride. It was something to a man to know that he was serving his country and keeping the old flag waving; but it was still more to know that he was enlisted26 in the service of the Almighty27, that Heaven and all its hosts were on his side, and that everything he had done had the sanction of the Almighty’s divinely ordained28 minister, speaking in the Almighty’s holy temple, in the midst of stained-glass windows and brightly burning candles and the ravishing odor of incense, and of Easter lilies and of mignonette and lavender in the handkerchiefs of delicately gowned and exquisite29 ladies from Mount Olympus. This, to be sure, was mixing mythologies30, but Peter’s education had been neglected in his youth, and Peter could not be blamed for taking the great ones of the earth as they were, and believing what they taught him.
The white robed choir31 marched out, and the music of “Onward Christian32 Soldiers” faded away, and Peter and his lady went out from the Church of the Divine Compassion, and strolled on the avenue again, and when they had sufficiently33 filled their nostrils34 with the sweet odors of snobbery35, they turned into the park, where there were places of seclusion36 for young couples interested in each other. But alas37, the fates which dogged Peter in his love-making had prepared an especially cruel prank38 that morning. At the entrance to the park, whom should Peter meet but Comrade Schnitzelmann, a fat little butcher who belonged to the “Bolshevik local” of American City. Peter tried to look the other way and hurry by, but Comrade Schnitzelmann would not have it so. He came rushing up with one pudgy hand stretched out, and a beaming smile on his rosy39 Teutonic countenance40. “Ach, Comrade Gudge!” cried he. “Wie geht’s mit you dis morning?”
“Very well, thank you,” said Peter, coldly, and tried to hurry on.
But Comrade Schnitzelmann held onto his hand. “So! You been seeing dot Easter barade!” said he. “Vot you tink, hey? If we could get all de wage slaves to come und see dot barade, we make dem all Bolsheviks pretty quick! Hey, Comrade Gudge?”
“Yes, I guess so,” said Peter, still more coldly.
“We show dem vot de money goes for—hey, Comrade Gudge!” And Comrade Schnitzelmann chuckled41, and Peter said, quickly, “Well, good-bye,” and without introducing his lady-love took her by the arm and hurried away.
But alas, the damage had been done! They walked for a minute or two amid ominous42 silence. Then suddenly the manicurist stood still and confronted Peter. “Mr. Gudge,” she demanded, “what does that mean?”
And Peter of course could not answer. He did not dare to meet her flashing eyes, but stood digging the toe of his shoe into the path. “I want to know what it means,” persisted the girl. “Are you one of those Reds?”
And what could poor Peter say? How could he explain his acquaintance with that Teutonic face and that Teutonic accent?
The girl stamped her foot with impatient anger. “So you’re one of those Reds! You’re one of those pro-German traitors! You’re an imposter, a spy!”
Peter was helpless with embarrassment43 and dismay. “Miss Frisbie,” he began, “I can’t explain—”
“Why can’t you explain? Why can’t any honest man explain?”
“But—but—I’m not what you think—it isn’t true! I—I—” It was on the tip of Peter’s tongue to say, “I’m a patriot18! I’m a 100% American, protecting my country against these traitors!” But professional honor sealed his tongue, and the little manicurist stamped her foot again, and her eyes flashed with indignation.
“You dare to seek my acquaintance! You dare to take me to church! Why—if there was a policeman in sight, I’d report you, I’d send you to jail!” And actually she looked around for a policeman! But it is well known that there never is a policeman in sight when you look for one; so Miss Frisbie stamped her foot again and snorted in Peter’s face. “Goodbye, Comrade Gudge!” The emphasis she put upon that word “comrade” would have frozen the fieriest44 Red soul; and she turned with a swish of her skirts and strode off, and Peter stood looking mournfully at her little French heels going crunch45, crunch, crunch on the gravel46 path. When the heels were clean gone out of sight, Peter sought out the nearest bench and sat down and buried his face in his hands, a picture of woe47. Was there ever in the world a man who had such persistent48 ill luck with women?

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1
literally
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adv.照字面意义,逐字地;确实 | |
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2
winked
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v.使眼色( wink的过去式和过去分词 );递眼色(表示友好或高兴等);(指光)闪烁;闪亮 | |
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3
wink
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n.眨眼,使眼色,瞬间;v.眨眼,使眼色,闪烁 | |
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4
buxom
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adj.(妇女)丰满的,有健康美的 | |
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5
invalid
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n.病人,伤残人;adj.有病的,伤残的;无效的 | |
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6
socialist
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n.社会主义者;adj.社会主义的 | |
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7
swell
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vi.膨胀,肿胀;增长,增强 | |
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8
transpired
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(事实,秘密等)被人知道( transpire的过去式和过去分词 ); 泄露; 显露; 发生 | |
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9
parlor
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n.店铺,营业室;会客室,客厅 | |
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10
martial
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adj.战争的,军事的,尚武的,威武的 | |
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11
scraps
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油渣 | |
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12
compassion
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n.同情,怜悯 | |
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13
incense
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v.激怒;n.香,焚香时的烟,香气 | |
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14
scent
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n.气味,香味,香水,线索,嗅觉;v.嗅,发觉 | |
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15
rev
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v.发动机旋转,加快速度 | |
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16
orator
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n.演说者,演讲者,雄辩家 | |
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17
patriotic
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adj.爱国的,有爱国心的 | |
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18
patriot
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n.爱国者,爱国主义者 | |
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19
testament
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n.遗嘱;证明 | |
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20
exterminating
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v.消灭,根绝( exterminate的现在分词 ) | |
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21
munitions
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n.军火,弹药;v.供应…军需品 | |
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22
traitors
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卖国贼( traitor的名词复数 ); 叛徒; 背叛者; 背信弃义的人 | |
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23
socialists
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社会主义者( socialist的名词复数 ) | |
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24
bosom
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n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的 | |
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25
swelled
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增强( swell的过去式和过去分词 ); 肿胀; (使)凸出; 充满(激情) | |
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26
enlisted
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adj.应募入伍的v.(使)入伍, (使)参军( enlist的过去式和过去分词 );获得(帮助或支持) | |
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27
almighty
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adj.全能的,万能的;很大的,很强的 | |
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28
ordained
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v.任命(某人)为牧师( ordain的过去式和过去分词 );授予(某人)圣职;(上帝、法律等)命令;判定 | |
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29
exquisite
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adj.精美的;敏锐的;剧烈的,感觉强烈的 | |
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30
mythologies
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神话学( mythology的名词复数 ); 神话(总称); 虚构的事实; 错误的观点 | |
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31
choir
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n.唱诗班,唱诗班的席位,合唱团,舞蹈团;v.合唱 | |
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32
Christian
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adj.基督教徒的;n.基督教徒 | |
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33
sufficiently
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adv.足够地,充分地 | |
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34
nostrils
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鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
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35
snobbery
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n. 充绅士气派, 俗不可耐的性格 | |
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36
seclusion
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n.隐遁,隔离 | |
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37
alas
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int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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38
prank
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n.开玩笑,恶作剧;v.装饰;打扮;炫耀自己 | |
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39
rosy
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adj.美好的,乐观的,玫瑰色的 | |
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40
countenance
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n.脸色,面容;面部表情;vt.支持,赞同 | |
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41
chuckled
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轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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42
ominous
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adj.不祥的,不吉的,预兆的,预示的 | |
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43
embarrassment
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n.尴尬;使人为难的人(事物);障碍;窘迫 | |
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44
fieriest
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燃烧的( fiery的最高级 ); 火似的; 火热的; 激烈的 | |
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45
crunch
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n.关键时刻;艰难局面;v.发出碎裂声 | |
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46
gravel
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n.砂跞;砂砾层;结石 | |
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47
woe
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n.悲哀,苦痛,不幸,困难;int.用来表达悲伤或惊慌 | |
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48
persistent
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adj.坚持不懈的,执意的;持续的 | |
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