"Ole man," he cried, "I'm proud of you! I ain't had a chance to say how proud I am!"
"Thanks," said Mark, laughing, "but look out for that sore thumb—and for mercy's sakes don't slap me on that shoulder again. I'm more delicate than I look. And say, Texas, I've got a new member for our secret society—b'gee!"
Texas looked interested.
"He's a pretty game youngster," Mark continued, "for[Pg 125] when Bull Harris and that gang of his tried to haze3 him, he sailed in and tried to do the crowd."
"Oh!" cried Texas, excitedly. "Wow! I wish I'd 'a' been there. Say, Mark, d'ye know I've been a missin' no end o' fun that a'way. Parson had a fight, an' I didn't see it; you had one daown to Cranston's, an' I missed that; an' yere's another!"
Texas looked disgusted and Mark burst out laughing.
"'Tain't any fun," growled4 the former. "But go on, tell me 'bout5 this chap. What does he look like?"
"He's not as tall as we," replied Mark, "but he's very good-looking and jolly. And when he says "B'gee" and laughs, you can't help laughing with him. Hello, there's inspection!"
This last remark was prompted by a sharp rap upon the door. The two sprang up and stood at attention. "Heels together, eyes to the front, chest out"—they knew the whole formula by this time. And Cadet Corporal Jasper strode in, found fault with a few things and then went on to carry death and devastation6 into the next place.
A few minutes later the Parson strolled in.
"Yea, by Zeus," began he, without waiting for the formality of a salutation. "Yea, by Apollo, the far-dart[Pg 126]ing, this is indeed an outrage7 worthy8 of the great Achilles to avenge9. And I do swear by the bones of my ancestors, by the hounds of Diana, forsooth even by Jupiter lapis and the Gemini, that never while I inspire the atmosphere of existence will I submit myself to so outrageous10 an imposition——"
"Wow!" cried Texas. "What's up?"
"Sit down and tell us about it," added Mark.
"It is written in the most immortal11 document," continued the Parson, without noticing the interruption, "that ever emanated12 from the mind of man, the Declaration of Independence (signed, by the way, by an ancestor of my stepmother), that among the inalienable privileges of man, co-ordinate with life and liberty itself, is the pursuit of happiness. And in the name of the Seven Gates of Thebes and the Seven Hills of the Eternal City, I demand to know what happiness a man can have if all his happiness is taken from him!"
"B'gee! Reminds me of a story I heard about a boy who wanted to see the cow jump over the moon on a night when there wasn't any moon, b'gee."
Mark and Texas looked up in surprise and the Parson faced about in obvious displeasure at the interruption.
[Pg 127]"In the name of all the Olympian divinities and the inhabitants of Charon and the Styx," he cried, angrily, "I demand to know——"
"Come in," said Mark, laughing. "Excuse me for interrupting, Parson, but this is Mr. Alan Dewey, b'gee, member Number Five of our band of desperate buccaneers, if you please. Mr. Dewey, allow me to introduce you to the gentleman who 'reminded' you of that last story, Mr. Peter Stanard, of Boston, Massachusetts, the cradle of liberty, the nurse of freedom, and the center and metropolis13 of the geological universe."
The Parson bowed gravely.
"While I am, together with all true Bostonians, proud of the reputation which my city has merited, yet I am——"
"Also to Mr. Jeremiah Powers," continued Mark, cutting the Parson off in his peroration14.
Young Dewey shook hands all around, and then sat down on the bed, looking at Mark with a puzzled expression on his face, as much as to say, "what on earth have I struck—b'gee?" Mark saw his expression and under[Pg 128]took to inform him, making haste to start before the Parson could begin again on the relative merits of Boston and the rest of the civilized17 universe.
"Powers and Stanard," said he, "are the members of our organization, together with Indian, the fat boy."
"I see," said Dewey, at the same time thinking what a novel organization it must be. "There's Indian now."
Indian's round, scared face peered in through the open doorway18 just then. He was introduced to Number Five, whereupon Number Five remarked 'Very pleased to meet you, b'gee.' And Indian echoed 'Bless my soul!' and crept into the room and sat down in an inconspicuous corner.
There was a moment's pause and then the Parson commenced:
"If I remember correctly, we were occupied when last interrupted, by—ahem! a rather facetious19 observation upon the subject of our solitary20 lunar satellite and quadruped of the genus Bos—occupied I say in considering the position which the metropolis of Boston has obtained——"
"drop Boston!" laughed Mark. "We weren't on Bos[Pg 129]ton anyhow. Boston came in afterward—as Boston always does, in fact."
"Which reminds me, b'gee," put in the newcomer, "of a story I once heard of——"
"drop the story, too!" exclaimed Mark. "I want to know what the Parson was so indignant about."
"Yes, yes!" put in Texas. "That's what I say, too. And be quick about it. We've only ten minutes 'fore16 drill, an' if there's anybody got to be licked, why, we got to hustle21."
"Well," said Stanard, drawing a long breath. "Well! Since it is the obvious and, in fact, natural desire of the company assembled, so expressed by them, that I should immediately proceed to a summary and concise22 statement of the matter in hand, pausing for no extensive introductions or formal perorations23, but endeavoring assiduously to impart to my promulgations a certain clarified conciseness24 which in matters of this peculiar25 nature is so eminently26 advantageous——"
The Parson was interrupted at this place by a subdued27 "B'gee!" from Dewey, followed by a more emphatic28 "Wow!" and a scarcely audible "Bless my soul!"
[Pg 130]"What's the matter?" he inquired, stopping short and looking puzzled.
"Nothing," replied Mark. "I didn't say anything."
"Oh!" said the Parson. "Excuse me. Where was I? Oh, yes, I was just saying I would be brief. Gentlemen—ahem!—when I entered this room I was in a condition of violent anger. As I stated, an outrage had been offered me such as neither Parmenides, nor Socrates, nor even Zeno, stoic29 of stoics30, could have borne. And I have resolved to seek once more, as a prodigal31 son, the land of my birth, where science is fostered instead of being repressed as in this hotbed of prejudice and ignorance. I——"
"What's up?" cried the four.
"I am coming to that," said the Parson, gravely, stretching out his long shanks, drawing up his trousers, and displaying his sea-green socks. "This same morning—and my friend Indian will substantiate32 my statement, for he was there—a low, ignorant cadet corporal did enter into my room, for inspection, by Zeus, and after generally displaying his ill-manners, he turned to me and conveyed[Pg 131] the extraordinary information that, according to rules, forsooth, I must be deprived of the dearest object of my affections, solace33 of my weary hours, my friend in time of need, my companion in sickness, which through all the trials of adversity has stuck to me closer than a brother, my only joy, my——"
"What?" cried the four, by this time wrought34 up to the highest pitch of indignation and excitement.
"My one refuge from the cares of life," continued the solemn Parson, "the one mitigating35 circumstance in this life of tribulation36, the only——"
"What? What? What?"
"What? Of all things what, but this? What but my life, my pride, my hope—my beloved volume of 'Dana's Geology,' friend of my——"
And the roar of laughter which came then made the sentry37 out on the street jump in alarm. The laughing lasted until the cry came:
"New cadets turn out!" which meant drill; and it lasted after that, too, so that Cadet Spencer, drillmaster, "on duty over plebes," spent the next hour or two in won[Pg 132]dering what on earth his charges kept snickering at. Poor Texas was the subject of a ten-minute discourse38 upon "impertinence and presumption," because he was guilty of the heinous39 offense40 of bursting out laughing in the midst of one of the irate41 little drillmaster's tirades42.
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1
inspection
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| n.检查，审查，检阅 | |
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2
injustice
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| n.非正义，不公正，不公平，侵犯（别人的）权利 | |
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3
haze
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| n.霾，烟雾；懵懂，迷糊；vi.(over)变模糊 | |
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4
growled
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| v.（动物）发狺狺声， （雷）作隆隆声( growl的过去式和过去分词 )；低声咆哮着说 | |
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5
bout
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| n.侵袭，发作；一次(阵，回)；拳击等比赛 | |
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6
devastation
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| n.毁坏；荒废；极度震惊或悲伤 | |
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7
outrage
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| n.暴行，侮辱，愤怒；vt.凌辱，激怒 | |
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8
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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9
avenge
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| v.为...复仇，为...报仇 | |
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10
outrageous
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| adj.无理的，令人不能容忍的 | |
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11
immortal
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| adj.不朽的；永生的，不死的；神的 | |
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12
emanated
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| v.从…处传出，传出( emanate的过去式和过去分词 )；产生，表现，显示 | |
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13
metropolis
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| n.首府；大城市 | |
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14
peroration
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| n.（演说等之）结论 | |
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15
scrap
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| n.碎片；废料；v.废弃，报废 | |
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16
fore
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| adv.在前面；adj.先前的；在前部的；n.前部 | |
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17
civilized
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| a.有教养的，文雅的 | |
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18
doorway
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| n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径 | |
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19
facetious
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| adj.轻浮的，好开玩笑的 | |
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20
solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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21
hustle
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| v.推搡；竭力兜售或获取；催促；n.奔忙(碌) | |
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22
concise
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| adj.简洁的，简明的 | |
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23
perorations
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| n.（演说等的）结束语，结论( peroration的名词复数 )；夸夸其谈的演说 | |
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24
conciseness
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| n.简洁，简短 | |
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25
peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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26
eminently
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| adv.突出地；显著地；不寻常地 | |
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27
subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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28
emphatic
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| adj.强调的，着重的；无可置疑的，明显的 | |
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29
stoic
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| n.坚忍克己之人，禁欲主义者 | |
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30
stoics
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| 禁欲主义者，恬淡寡欲的人，不以苦乐为意的人( stoic的名词复数 ) | |
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31
prodigal
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| adj.浪费的，挥霍的，放荡的 | |
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32
substantiate
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| v.证实；证明...有根据 | |
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33
solace
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| n.安慰；v.使快乐；vt.安慰(物)，缓和 | |
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34
wrought
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| v.引起；以…原料制作；运转；adj.制造的 | |
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35
mitigating
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| v.减轻，缓和( mitigate的现在分词 ) | |
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36
tribulation
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| n.苦难，灾难 | |
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37
sentry
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| n.哨兵，警卫 | |
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38
discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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39
heinous
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| adj.可憎的，十恶不赦的 | |
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40
offense
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| n.犯规，违法行为；冒犯，得罪 | |
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41
irate
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| adj.发怒的，生气 | |
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42
tirades
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| 激烈的长篇指责或演说( tirade的名词复数 ) | |
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