“There wasn't any time to argue,” I said. “If you knew what I know about the police of Western City and their manners, you wouldn't want to monkey with them.”
“My face?” he repeated. “Is not a man more than his face?”
You should have heard the shout of T-S! “Vot? Ain't I shoost offered you five hunded dollars a veek fer dat face, and you vant to go git it smashed? And fer a lot o' lousy bums2 dat vont vork for honest vages, and vont let nobody else vork! Honest to Gawd, Mr. Carpenter, I tell you some stories about strikes vot we had on our own lot—you vouldn't spoil your face for such lousy sons-o'-guns—”
“Ssh, Abey, don't use such langwich, you should to be shamed of yourself!” It was Maw, guardian3 of the proprieties4, who had been extracted from the car by the footman, and helped to the table.
“Vell, Mr. Carpenter, he dunno vot dem fellers is like—”
We seated ourselves. And Carpenter turned his dark eyes on me. “I observe that you have many kinds of mobs in your city,” he remarked. “And the police do interfere6 with some of them.”
“My Gawd!” cried T-S. “You gonna have a lot o' bums jumpin' on people ven dey try to git to dinner?”
Said Carpenter: “Mr. Rosythe said that the police would not work unless they were paid. May I ask, who pays them to work here? Is it the proprietor7 of the restaurant?”
“Vell,” cried T-S, “ain't he gotta take care of his place?”
“As a matter of fact,” said I, laughing, “from what I read in the 'Times' this morning, I gather that an old friend of Mr. Carpenter's has been paying in this case.”
Carpenter looked at me inquiringly.
“Mr. Algernon de Wiggs, president of the Chamber8 of Commerce, issued a statement denouncing the way the police were letting mobs of strikers interfere with business, and proposing that the Chamber take steps to stop it. You remember de Wiggs, and how we left him?”
“Yes, I remember,” said Carpenter; and we exchanged a smile over that trick we had played.
“Mr. Carpenter possesses an acquaintance with our best society which will astonish you when you realize it.”
“Vy didn't you tell me dat?” demanded the other; and I could complete the sentence for him: “Somebody has offered him more money!”
Here the voice of Maw was heard: “Ain't we gonna git nuttin' to eat?”
So for a time the problem of capital and labor10 was put to one side. There were two waiters standing11 by, very nervous, because of the strike. T-S grabbed the card from one, and read off a list of food, which the waiter wrote down. Maw, who was learning the rudiments12 of etiquette13, handed her card to Mary, who gave her order, and then Maw gave hers, and I gave mine, and there was only Carpenter left.
He was sitting, his dark eyes roaming here and there about the dining-room. Prince's, as you may know, is a gorgeous establishment: too much so for my taste—it has almost as much gilded14 moulding as if T-S had designed it for a picture palace. In front of Carpenter's eyes sat a dame15 with a bare white back, and a rope of big pearls about it, and a tiara of diamonds on top; and beyond her were more dames16, and yet more, and men in dinner-coats, putting food into red faces. You and I get used to such things, but I could understand that to a stranger it must be shocking to see so many people feeding so expensively.
“Vot you vant to order, Mr. Carpenter?” demanded T-S; and I waited, full of curiosity. What would this man choose to eat in a “lobster palace”?
Carpenter took the card from his host and studied it. Apparently17 he had no difficulty in finding the most substantial part of the menu. “I'll have prime ribs18 of beef,” said he; “and boiled mutton with caper19 sauce; and young spring turkey; and squab en casserole; and milk fed guinea fowl—” The waiter, of course, was obediently writing down each item. “And planked steak with mushrooms; and braised spare ribs—”
“My Gawd!” broke in the host.
“And roast teal duck; and lamb kidneys—”
“Fer the love o' Mike, Mr. Carpenter, you gonna eat all dat?”
“No; of course not.”
“Den vot you gonna do vit it?”
“I'm going to take it to the hungry men outside.”
Well, sir, you'd have thought the world had stopped turning round, so still it was. The two waiters nearly dropped their order-pads and their napkins; they did drop their jaws20, and Mrs. T-S's permanent wave seemed about to go flat.
“Oh, hell!” cried T-S at last. “You can't do it!”
“I can't?”
“You can't order only vot you gonna eat.”
“But then, I don't want anything. I'm not hungry.”
“But you can't sit here like a dummy21, man!” He turned to the waiter. “You bring him de same vot you bring me. Unnerstand? And git a move on, cause I'm starvin'. Fade out now!” And the waiter turned and fled.
点击收听单词发音
1 mashed | |
a.捣烂的 | |
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2 bums | |
n. 游荡者,流浪汉,懒鬼,闹饮,屁股 adj. 没有价值的,不灵光的,不合理的 vt. 令人失望,乞讨 vi. 混日子,以乞讨为生 | |
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3 guardian | |
n.监护人;守卫者,保护者 | |
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4 proprieties | |
n.礼仪,礼节;礼貌( propriety的名词复数 );规矩;正当;合适 | |
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5 stump | |
n.残株,烟蒂,讲演台;v.砍断,蹒跚而走 | |
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6 interfere | |
v.(in)干涉,干预;(with)妨碍,打扰 | |
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7 proprietor | |
n.所有人;业主;经营者 | |
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8 chamber | |
n.房间,寝室;会议厅;议院;会所 | |
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9 prick | |
v.刺伤,刺痛,刺孔;n.刺伤,刺痛 | |
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10 labor | |
n.劳动,努力,工作,劳工;分娩;vi.劳动,努力,苦干;vt.详细分析;麻烦 | |
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11 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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12 rudiments | |
n.基础知识,入门 | |
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13 etiquette | |
n.礼仪,礼节;规矩 | |
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14 gilded | |
a.镀金的,富有的 | |
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15 dame | |
n.女士 | |
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16 dames | |
n.(在英国)夫人(一种封号),夫人(爵士妻子的称号)( dame的名词复数 );女人 | |
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17 apparently | |
adv.显然地;表面上,似乎 | |
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18 ribs | |
n.肋骨( rib的名词复数 );(船或屋顶等的)肋拱;肋骨状的东西;(织物的)凸条花纹 | |
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19 caper | |
v.雀跃,欢蹦;n.雀跃,跳跃;续随子,刺山柑花蕾;嬉戏 | |
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20 jaws | |
n.口部;嘴 | |
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21 dummy | |
n.假的东西;(哄婴儿的)橡皮奶头 | |
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