"You know that I'll always see that you are taken care of," he began.
"I don't—I don't mean that," she cried. "But, oh—I love you—I can't do without you! Where in Heaven's name am I to go?" and she flung herself upon him with a passionate2 cry. "What am I to do?" she cried, again and again. "How can I bear it?"
He strove to calm her. "Listen," he whispered, "don't take it so hard. Perhaps you may forget me—please don't act like that."
She was shuddering4 convulsively. "No, no!" she cried. "It would kill me—it would!" And then suddenly she leapt to her feet, her eyes blazing. "I'll kill that[102] woman!" she panted. "That's what I'll do!"
The man drew her to him again, striving to calm her. "No, no, Mary," he said. "That will only make it worse for me. If you love me, you must give me up. That is the only way."
She sat there, white and trembling, moaning to herself. She smoothed the beautiful hair back from her forehead, and sat staring in front of her with a dazed expression.
Her companion felt extremely uncomfortable; naturally, a good-hearted man does not like to make a woman suffer, especially a woman whom he still loves. He had made up his mind, however, and he meant to carry it through. He let her lean on his bosom6 and sob7 away her grief.
"And can't I ever see you—even just a little bit?" she moaned.
"No," he said firmly. "Can you not see, Mary, that there is no place in the[103] world where I could keep you that that woman could not track me to? She has found me out and tracked me here already and she could ruin me, Mary, drive me to kill myself."
The other shuddered8. "No," she said, "you must not do that. You are right, and I must make the sacrifice. I will go—I can bear it, I guess. But oh, Jim, I never really loved any one but you, and I never shall."
"I shall never forget you," said he. "And I will give you all you need, Mary,—you won't have to worry about money." But the girl scarcely heard him; she was not thinking about money.
"And where will you go?" he asked finally.
"I don't know," said she. "I have no home. Where should I go? I suppose I'll go back where I came from—back to Albany."
Robert van Rensselaer looked at her; the name Albany brought back a sudden memory to him. "Well, I declare," he[104] said, "you did not tell me you came from Albany." He hesitated a moment and then went on, "Perhaps, maybe, you know a girl there—But I don't know her name," he added, with a slight laugh.
"Then I'm afraid I couldn't tell you," said the other, answering his smile. "But I knew very few people there. I never knew any one at all until after my mother went away some years ago."
"Went away?" asked the other. "I thought you said she died."
"She must have died, for she was very ill," said the girl. "But I don't know what became of her—she never came back."
The man was gazing at her in surprise. "Never came back?" he echoed; and then he added, "What was your mother's name?"
"Helen," said she; and he sunk back.
"Ah, it was an awful thing," went on the girl, her voice trembling. "Poor, dear mother, how hard she worked to take care of me—and how good she was! She[105] worked herself to death, Jim, that's the truth."
"What was the matter with her?"
"She had consumption," said the girl, and she saw him start. "What's the matter?" she asked.
"Nothing," said he, "that is—it's just a queer coincidence; but what was your father's name?"
"I never knew anything about my father," said the girl. "Mother never told me; but I always suspected that he had not married her—that is—"
She stopped again, for his manner was strange; then, however, she went on. "I think he was rich," she said, "and very handsome and good. She gave me a locket with his picture that she said only he would have the key to open; she had lost the one he gave her."
And again she stopped; a ghastly, ashen9 pallor had come over the face of Robert van Rensselaer; he leaned close to her, his eyes, his whole face, looming10 large with horror. His hand shook like an[106] autumn leaf as he stretched it out to her. "A locket! a locket!" he gasped. "My God! Have you got it?"
"Yes," cried the girl, in astonishment11, and she went to the bureau. She held it to him as he ran toward her, and he took one glance at it and staggered back like a man struck to the heart with a knife. He gave one wild, horrible cry, and clutched his hands to his head, and reeled, and would have fallen.
But Mary had sprung to him in terror. "Jim! Jim!" she cried, "what is it?" She would have caught him, but he shrunk from her touch as from a wild beast. "No! no!" he screamed, and crouched12 in the corner with eyes of dreadful fear. "No! go back!"
"But, Jim," cried the girl, "what is it? What is the matter?"
Mary sprang to him again, and flung her arms about him. "Jim! Jim!" she cried[107] hysterically14, "you must tell me what it is—you must—you must! Do you know who my father was?"
"And who was he? Who? Tell me!"
He choked and caught his breath again; but he could not say the words. As he felt the warmth of her breath and the pressure of her arms about him, it sent a sudden shudder3 through his frame, and he flung her away with a force that sent her reeling across the floor. Then he staggered to his feet, and with a moan he rushed to the door. He caught one glimpse of the girl's face, and then fled madly down the steps.
Outside his cab was waiting. He did not see it, and started away; but the driver shouted to him, and that brought him to his senses for an instant. He leaped in.
"Drive! drive!" he panted.
"Where to?" asked the man.
"Anywhere," he screamed. "Drive!"
And so they whirled away down the[108] street, van Rensselaer crouching16 in a corner, writhing and twisting his hands together.
There was a thought that came over him every few seconds like a spasm17 and made him cry out. He could not bear it very long; he shouted to the driver to stop, and sprang out, and flung him some money. They were in a deserted18 portion of the park, and he turned and fled away into the darkness.
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1
gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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2
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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3
shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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4
shuddering
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| v.战栗( shudder的现在分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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5
hoarsely
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| adv.嘶哑地 | |
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6
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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7
sob
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| n.空间轨道的轰炸机；呜咽，哭泣 | |
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8
shuddered
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| v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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9
ashen
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| adj.灰的 | |
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10
looming
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| n.上现蜃景（光通过低层大气发生异常折射形成的一种海市蜃楼）v.隐约出现，阴森地逼近( loom的现在分词 )；隐约出现，阴森地逼近 | |
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11
astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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12
crouched
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| v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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13
gasping
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| adj. 气喘的, 痉挛的 动词gasp的现在分词 | |
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14
hysterically
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| ad. 歇斯底里地 | |
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15
writhing
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| （因极度痛苦而）扭动或翻滚( writhe的现在分词 ) | |
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16
crouching
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| v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的现在分词 ) | |
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17
spasm
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| n.痉挛，抽搐；一阵发作 | |
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18
deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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