I assume now that our young couple have definitely made up their minds, and that the wedding day is near. They are therefore, both the man and the woman, in position to receive information as to the physical aspects of their future experience. This information is now for the most part possessed1 only by pathologists—who impart it too late, after people have blundered and wrecked2 their lives. The opponents of birth control ask in horror if you would teach it to the young; I am now able to answer just when I would teach it; I would teach it to these young couples about to marry. I would make it by law compulsory3 for every young couple to attend a school of marriage, and to learn, not merely the regulation of conception, but the whole art of health and happiness in sex.
Perhaps the words, "a school of marriage," strike you as funny. When I was young I remember that Pulitzer founded a school of journalism4, and all newspaper editors made merry—they knew that journalism could only be learned in practice. But nowadays every city editor gives preference to an applicant5 who has taken a college course in reporting; they have learned that journalism can be taught, just like engineering and accounting6. In the same way I assert that marriage can be taught, and the art of love, physical, mental, moral, and even financial; I think that the day will come when enlightened parents would no more dream of trusting their tender young daughter to a man who had not taken a course in sex, than they would go up in an aeroplane with a pilot who knew nothing about an engine.
The knowledge which I possess upon the art of love I would be glad to give you in this book; but unfortunately, if I were to do so, my book would be suppressed, and I should be sent to jail.
Some ten or twelve years ago I received a pitiful letter from a man who was in state's prison in Delaware, charged with having imparted information as to birth control. Under our amiable7 legal system, a perfectly8 innocent man may be thrown into jail, and kept there for a year or two before he is tried, and if he is without money or friends, he might as well be buried alive. I went to Wilmington to call on the United States attorney who had caused the indictment9 in this case, and had an illuminating10 conversation with him. The official was anxious to justify11 what he had done. He assured me that he was no bigot, but on the contrary an extremely liberal man, a Unitarian, a Progressive, etc. "But Mr. Sinclair," he said, "I assure you this prisoner is not a reformer or humanitarian12 or anything like that. He is a depraved person. Look, here is something we found in his trunk when we arrested him; a pamphlet, explaining about sex relations. See this paragraph—it says that the pleasure of intercourse13 is increased if it is prolonged."
I looked at the pamphlet, and then I looked at the attorney. "Do you think you have stated the matter quite fairly?" I asked. "Apparently14 the purpose is to explain that the emotions of women are more slow to be aroused than those of men, and that husbands failing to realize this, often do not gratify their wives."
"Well," said the other, "do you consider that a subject to be discussed?"
"Pardon me if I discuss it just a moment," I replied. "Do you happen to know whether the statement is a fact?"
"No, I don't. It may be, I suppose."
"You have never investigated the matter?"
The legal representative of our government was evidently annoyed by my persistence15. "I have not," he answered.
"But then, suppose I were to tell you that thousands of homes have been broken up for lack of just that bit of knowledge; that tens of thousands of marriages are miserable16 for lack of it."
"Surely, Mr. Sinclair, you exaggerate!"
"Not at all. I could prove to you by one medical authority after another, that if the desire of a woman in marriage is roused, and then left ungratified, the result is nervous strain, and in the long run it may be nervous breakdown17."
The above covers only one detail of the pamphlet in question. I read some pages of it, and argued them out with the attorney. It was a perfectly simple, straightforward18 exposition of facts about the physiology19 of sex; and one of the reasons a man was to be sent to jail for several years was—not that he had circulated such a pamphlet, not that he had showed it to young people, but merely that he had it in his trunk!
There is an honest and very useful book, written by an English physician, Dr. Marie C. Stopes, entitled "Married Love," published by Dr. Wm. J. Robinson of New York, a specialist of authority and integrity. The book deals with just such vital facts in a perfectly dignified20 and straightforward manner; yet Dr. Robinson has been hounded by the postoffice department because of it; he was convicted and forced to pay a fine of $250, and the book was barred from the mails!
I have so much else of importance to say in this Book of Love that it would not be sensible to jeopardize21 it by causing a controversy22 with our official censors23 of knowledge. Therefore I will merely say in general terms that men and women differ, not merely as a sex, but as individuals, and every marriage is a separate problem. Every couple has to solve it in the intimacy24 of their love life, and for this there are needed, first of all, gentleness on the part of the man, especially in the first days of the honeymoon25; and on the part of both at all times consideration for the other's welfare and enjoyment26, and above all, frankness and honesty in talking out the subject. Reticence27 and shyness may be virtues28 elsewhere, but they have no place in the intimacies29 of the sex life; if men and women will only ask and answer frankly30, they can find out by experience what makes the other happy, and what causes pain.
We are dealing31 here with the most sacred intimacy of life, and one of the most vital of life's problems. It is here, in the marriage bed, that the divorce problem is to be settled, and likewise the problem of prostitution; for it is when men and women fail to understand each other, and to gratify each other, that one or the other turns cold and indifferent, perhaps angry and hateful—and then we have passions unsatisfied, and ranging the world, breaking up other homes and spreading disease. So I would say to every young couple, seek knowledge on this subject. Seek it without shame from others who have had a chance to acquire it. Seek it also from nature, our wise old mother, who knows so much about her children!
Be natural; be simple and straightforward; and beware of fool notions about sex. If you will look in the code of Hammurabi, which is over four thousand years old, you will see the provision that a man who has intercourse with a menstruating woman shall be killed. In Leviticus you will read that both the man and the woman are to be cast out from their people. You will find that most people still have some such notion, which is without any basis whatever in health. And this is only one illustration of many I might give of ignorance and superstition32 in the sex life. I would give this as one very good rule to bear in mind; your love life exists for the happiness and health of yourself and your partner, and not for Hammurabi, nor Moses, nor Jehovah, nor your mother-in-law, nor anybody else on the earth or above it.
Great numbers of people believe that women are naturally less passionate33 than men, and that marital34 happiness depends upon men's recognizing this. Of course, there are defective35 individuals, both men and women; but the normal woman is every bit as passionate as a man, if once she has been taught; and if love is given its proper place in life, and monkish36 notions not allowed to interfere37, she will remain so all through life, in spite of child-bearing or anything else. I say to married couples that they should devote themselves to making and preserving passionate gratification in love; because this is the bright jewel in the crown of marriage, and if lovers solve this problem, they will find other problems comparatively simple.
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1
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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wrecked
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| adj.失事的，遇难的 | |
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compulsory
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| n.强制的，必修的；规定的，义务的 | |
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journalism
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| n.新闻工作，报业 | |
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applicant
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| n.申请人，求职者，请求者 | |
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accounting
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| n.会计，会计学，借贷对照表 | |
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amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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indictment
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| n.起诉；诉状 | |
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illuminating
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| a.富于启发性的，有助阐明的 | |
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justify
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| vt.证明…正当(或有理)，为…辩护 | |
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humanitarian
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| n.人道主义者，博爱者，基督凡人论者 | |
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intercourse
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| n.性交；交流，交往，交际 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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persistence
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| n.坚持，持续，存留 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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breakdown
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| n.垮，衰竭；损坏，故障，倒塌 | |
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straightforward
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| adj.正直的，坦率的；易懂的，简单的 | |
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physiology
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| n.生理学，生理机能 | |
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dignified
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| a.可敬的，高贵的 | |
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jeopardize
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| vt.危及，损害 | |
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controversy
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| n.争论，辩论，争吵 | |
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censors
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| 删剪（书籍、电影等中被认为犯忌、违反道德或政治上危险的内容）( censor的第三人称单数 ) | |
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intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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honeymoon
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| n.蜜月（假期）；vi.度蜜月 | |
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enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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reticence
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| n.沉默，含蓄 | |
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virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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intimacies
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| 亲密( intimacy的名词复数 )； 密切； 亲昵的言行； 性行为 | |
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frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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dealing
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| n.经商方法，待人态度 | |
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superstition
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| n.迷信，迷信行为 | |
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passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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marital
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| adj.婚姻的，夫妻的 | |
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defective
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| adj.有毛病的，有问题的，有瑕疵的 | |
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monkish
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| adj.僧侣的，修道士的，禁欲的 | |
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interfere
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| v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰 | |
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