This was how the scene was shifted in the following conclusive16 act.
John Brown, travelling, and fuming17 and aggravating18 himself much over the loss of his time and the distraction19 of his thoughts, was in London that day—a May-day, when everybody was in London. He had seen his detective, and no further intelligence had been obtained. Ph?be Thomson was as far off as ever—farther off; for now that all these efforts had been made, it was clear that either she must be dead or in some quarter of the world impervious20 to newspaper advertisements and detective officers. Mr Brown bore the disappointment with a very good grace. He felt contented21 now to slacken his efforts; he even felt as if he himself were already the possessor of old Mrs Thomson’s twenty thousand pounds. As he went leisurely22 through the streets, he paused before one of those “Scholastic Agency” offices which abound23 in the civilised end of London. It was in the ground-floor of a great faded, sombre, house, in a street near St James’s Park—a place of aching interest to some people in that palpitating world of human interests. It occurred to Mr Brown to go in and see if there were any lists to be looked over. Ph?be Thomson might have a daughter who might be a governess. It was an absurd idea enough, and he knew it to be so; nevertheless he swung open the green baize door.
Inside, before the desk, stood a little figure which he knew well, still in that black dress which she had worn when she ran across Grove Street and wanted to speak to him; with a curl of the light hair, which looked so fair and full of colour on her black shawl, escaped from under her bonnet24, talking softly and eagerly to the clerk. Was there no other place he could send her to? She had come up from the country, and was so very reluctant to go down without hearing of something. The man shook his head, and read over to her several entries in his book. Bessie turned round speechless towards the door. Seeing some one standing25 there, she lifted her eyes full upon John Brown. Troubled and yet steady, full of tears yet clear and seeing clear, shining blue like the skies, with a great patience, these eyes encountered the unexpected familiar face. If she felt an additional pang26 in seeing him, or if any grudge27 against the supplanter28 of her family trembled in Bessie’s heart, it made no sign upon her face. She said “good morning” cheerfully as she went past him, and only quickened her pace a little to get out of sight. She did not take any notice of the rapid step after her; the step which could have made up to her in two paces, but did not, restrained by an irresolute30 will. Probably she knew whose step it was, and interpreted rightly, to some superficial degree, the feelings of John Brown. She thought he was a good-hearted man—she thought he was sorry to know or guess the straits which Bessie thanked heaven nobody in this world did fully29 know—she thought, by-and-by, shy of intruding31 upon her, that step would drop off, and she would hear it no more. But it was not so to be.
“Miss Christian, I want to to you,” said John Brown.
She turned towards him directly without any pretence32 of surprise; and with a smile, the best she could muster33, waited to hear what it was.
“We are both walking the same way,” said Mr Brown.
In spite of herself amazement34 woke upon Bessie’s face. “That is{612} true: but was that all you had to say?” said Bessie, with the smiles kindling35 all her dimples. The dimples had only been hidden by fatigue36, and hardship, and toil37. They were all there.
“No, not quite. Were you looking for employment in that office? and why are you seeking employment here?” said the attorney, looking anxiously down upon her.
“Because there’s a great many of us in Carlingford,” said Bessie, steadily38; “there are half as many governesses as there are children. I thought I might perhaps get on better here.”
“In London! Do you think there are fewer governesses here?” said Mr Brown, going on with his questions, and meanwhile studying very closely his little companion’s face; not rudely. To be sure it was a very honest direct investigation39, but there was not a thought of rudeness or disrespect either in the eyes that made it or the heart.
“I daresay it’s as bad everywhere,” said Bessie, with a little sigh; “but when one cannot get work in one place, one naturally turns to another. I had an appointment to-day to come up to see a lady; but I was not the proper person. Perhaps I shall have to stay at home after all.”
“Have you any grudge at me?” said Mr Brown.
Bessie looked up open-eyed and wondering. “Grudge? at you? How could I? I daresay,” said Bessie, with a sigh and a smile, “mamma had, a year ago; but not me. The times I have spoken to you, Mr Brown, you have always been kind to me.”
“Have I?” said the lawyer. He gave her a strange look, and stopped short, as if his utterance40 was somehow impeded41. Kind to her! He remembered that time in Grove Street, and could have scourged42 himself at the recollection. Bessie had taken him entirely44 aback by her simple expression. He could have sobbed45 under that sudden touch. To see her walking beside him, cheerful, steadfast, without a complaint—a creature separated from the world, from youth and pleasure, and mere46 comfort even—enduring hardness, for all her soft childlike dimples and unaffected smiles—his composure was entirely overcome. He was going to do something very foolish. He gasped47, and gave himself up.
“If you don’t bear me a grudge, come over into the Park here, where we can hear ourselves speak. I want to speak to you,” said Mr Brown.
She turned into the Park with him quite simply, as she did everything without any pretence of wonder or embarrassment48. There he walked a long time by her side in silence, she waiting for what he had to say, he at the most overwhelming loss how to say it. The next thing he said was to ask her to sit down in a shady quiet corner, where there was an unoccupied seat. She was very much fatigued49. It was too bad of him to bring her out of her way.
“But it is so noisy in the street,” said Mr Brown. Then, with a pause after this unquestionable truism, “I’ve been thinking about you this very long time.”
Bessie looked up quickly with, great amazement; thinking of her! She was wiser when she cast her eyes down again. Mr Brown had not the smallest conception that he had explained himself without saying a syllable50, but he had, notwithstanding, leaving Bessie thunder-struck, yet with a moment’s time to deliberate. While he went on with his embarrassed slow expressions, fancying that he was gradually conveying to her mind what he meant, Bessie, in a dreadful silent flutter and agitation51, was revolving52 the whole matter, and asking herself what she was to answer. She had ten full minutes for this before he came to the point, and before, according to his idea, the truth burst upon her. But it is doubtful whether that ten minutes’ preparation was any advantage to Bessie. It destroyed the unconsciousness,{613} which was her greatest charm; it made an end of her straightforwardness53; worst of all, it left her silent. She gave a terrified glance up at him when it actually happened. There he stood full in the light, with all his awkwardnesses more clearly revealed than usual; six-and-forty, abrupt54, almost eccentric; telling that story very plainly, without compliment or passion; would she have him? He was content that she should think it over—he was content to wait for her answer; but if it was to be no, let her say it out.
Strange to say, that word which she was exhorted55 to say out did not come to Bessie’s lips. Perhaps because she trembled a great deal, and really lost her self-possession, and for the moment did not know what she was about. But even in her agitation she did not think of saying it. Mr Brown, when he had his say out, marched up and down the path before her, and did not interrupt her deliberations. Another dreadful ten minutes passed over Bessie. The more she thought it over the more bewildered she became as to what she was to say.
“Please would you walk with me to the railway,” were the words that came from Bessie’s lips at last. She rose up trembling and faint, and with a kind of instinct took Mr Brown’s arm. He, on his part, did not say anything to her. His agitation melted away into a subdued56 silent tenderness which did not need any expression. He took her back into the streets, all along that tiresome57 way. He suffered the noise to surround and abstract her without any interruption which would make her conscious of his presence. It was a strange walk for both. To have called them lovers would have been absurd—to have supposed that here was a marriage of convenience about to be arranged would have been more ridiculous still. What was it? Bessie went along the street in a kind of cloud, aware of nothing very clearly; feeling somehow that she leant upon somebody, and that it was somebody upon whom she had a right to lean. They reached the railway thus, without any further explanation. Mr Brown put the trembling girl into a carriage, and did not go with her. The Carlingford attorney had turned into a paladin. Was it possible that his outer man itself had smoothed out and expanded too?
“I am not going with you,” he said, grasping her hand closely. “I won’t embarrass or distress58 you, Bessie; but recollect43 you have not said no; and when I come to Grove Street to-morrow, I’ll hope to hear you say yes. I’ll let you off,” said John Brown, grasping the little soft hand so tight and hard that it hurt Bessie. “I’ll let you off with liking59, if you’ll give me that; at my age I don’t even venture to say for myself that I’m very much in love.”
And with that, the eyes, which had betrayed him before, flashed in Bessie’s face a contradiction of her elderly lover’s words. Yes! it astounded60 himself almost as much as it did Bessie. He would still have flatly contradicted anybody who accused him of that folly61; but he went away with an undeniable blush into the London streets, self-convicted. A year’s observation and an hour’s talk had resulted in a much less philosophical62 sentiment than Mr Brown was prepared for. He went back to the streets, wondering what she would like in all those wonderful shop-windows. He traced back, step for step, the road they had come together. He was not six-and-forty—six-and-twenty was the true reading. That was a May-day of his youth that had come to him, sweet if untimely; a missed May-day, perhaps all the better that it had been kept for him these many tedious years.
And though Bessie cried all the way down to Carlingford, the no she had not said did not occur to her as any remedy for her tears; and, indeed, when she remembered how she had taken Mr Brown’s arm, and felt that she had committed herself{614} by that act, the idea was rather a relief to Bessie. “It was as bad as saying yes at once,” said she to herself, with many blushes. But thus, you perceive, it was done, and could not be altered. She must stand to the consequences of her weakness now.
It made a great noise in Carlingford, as might be supposed; it made a vast difference in the household of Mrs Christian, which was removed to the house in which she had formerly63 hoped to establish herself as heir-at-law. But the greatest difference of all was made in that dim, spacious64, wainscoted dining-room, which did not know itself in its novel circumstances. That was where the change was most remarkably65 apparent; and all these years Ph?be Thomson’s shadow has thrown no cloud as yet over the path of John Brown.
The End
The End
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1
speculation
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| n.思索，沉思；猜测；投机 | |
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2
skilful
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| (=skillful)adj.灵巧的，熟练的 | |
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3
regiment
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| n.团，多数，管理；v.组织，编成团，统制 | |
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4
isle
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| n.小岛，岛 | |
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5
mortified
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| v.使受辱( mortify的过去式和过去分词 )；伤害（人的感情）；克制；抑制（肉体、情感等） | |
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6
savings
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| n.存款，储蓄 | |
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7
Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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8
dint
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| n.由于，靠；凹坑 | |
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9
reclaiming
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| v.开拓( reclaim的现在分词 )；要求收回；从废料中回收（有用的材料）；挽救 | |
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10
grove
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| n.林子，小树林，园林 | |
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11
glimmer
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| v.发出闪烁的微光；n.微光，微弱的闪光 | |
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12
steadfast
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| adj.固定的，不变的，不动摇的；忠实的；坚贞不移的 | |
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13
revivals
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| n.复活( revival的名词复数 )；再生；复兴；（老戏多年后）重新上演 | |
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14
droop
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| v.低垂，下垂；凋萎，萎靡 | |
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15
tune
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| n.调子；和谐，协调；v.调音，调节，调整 | |
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16
conclusive
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| adj.最后的，结论的；确凿的，消除怀疑的 | |
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17
fuming
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| 愤怒( fume的现在分词 )； 大怒； 发怒； 冒烟 | |
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18
aggravating
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| adj.恼人的，讨厌的 | |
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19
distraction
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| n.精神涣散，精神不集中，消遣，娱乐 | |
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20
impervious
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| adj.不能渗透的，不能穿过的，不易伤害的 | |
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21
contented
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| adj.满意的，安心的，知足的 | |
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22
leisurely
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| adj.悠闲的；从容的，慢慢的 | |
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23
abound
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| vi.大量存在；(in，with)充满，富于 | |
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24
bonnet
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| n.无边女帽；童帽 | |
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25
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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26
pang
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| n.剧痛，悲痛，苦闷 | |
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27
grudge
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| n.不满，怨恨，妒嫉；vt.勉强给，不情愿做 | |
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28
supplanter
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| 排挤者，取代者 | |
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29
fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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30
irresolute
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| adj.无决断的，优柔寡断的，踌躇不定的 | |
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31
intruding
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| v.侵入，侵扰，打扰( intrude的现在分词)；把…强加于 | |
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32
pretence
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| n.假装，作假；借口，口实；虚伪；虚饰 | |
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33
muster
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| v.集合，收集，鼓起，激起；n.集合，检阅，集合人员，点名册 | |
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34
amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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35
kindling
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| n. 点火, 可燃物 动词kindle的现在分词形式 | |
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fatigue
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| n.疲劳，劳累 | |
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37
toil
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| vi.辛劳工作，艰难地行动；n.苦工，难事 | |
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38
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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39
investigation
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| n.调查，调查研究 | |
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40
utterance
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| n.用言语表达，话语，言语 | |
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41
impeded
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| 阻碍，妨碍，阻止( impede的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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42
scourged
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| 鞭打( scourge的过去式和过去分词 )； 惩罚，压迫 | |
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43
recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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44
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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45
sobbed
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| 哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说 | |
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46
mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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47
gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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48
embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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49
fatigued
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| adj. 疲乏的 | |
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50
syllable
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| n.音节；vt.分音节 | |
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51
agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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52
revolving
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| adj.旋转的，轮转式的；循环的v.（使）旋转( revolve的现在分词 )；细想 | |
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53
straightforwardness
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| n.坦白，率直 | |
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54
abrupt
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| adj.突然的，意外的；唐突的，鲁莽的 | |
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55
exhorted
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| v.劝告，劝说( exhort的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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56
subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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57
tiresome
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| adj.令人疲劳的，令人厌倦的 | |
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58
distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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59
liking
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| n.爱好；嗜好；喜欢 | |
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60
astounded
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| v.使震惊(astound的过去式和过去分词)；愕然；愕；惊讶 | |
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61
folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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62
philosophical
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| adj.哲学家的，哲学上的，达观的 | |
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63
formerly
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| adv.从前，以前 | |
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64
spacious
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| adj.广阔的，宽敞的 | |
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65
remarkably
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| ad.不同寻常地，相当地 | |
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