April 11, 2018:—Mayor Kopensky is particularly deep in Singapore learning. He conceals3 his well-beloved studies in public, as senators of old used to conceal2 their wealth. He must, of course, get his majorities from the University students, who are the majority of the population, so many are studying even after marriage, and so many men continue their studies after entering business.
In political hours the attitude even of the older students of the University of Springfield is seemingly ungrateful. It is that of the traditionally impudent4 college freshman5 toward the imaginary greasy6 grind and toward the professor who eggs him on to scholarship. They think the names of these City Commissioners7: “Cave Man Thomas,” “Sparrow Short,” “Coffee Kusuko,” “Montague Rock,” “Drug Store Smith,” “Jefferson Radley,” “Mayo Sims,” mean dash and romance.
104This is the “City Hall” block of seven people in the city commission of eleven. The Mayor is the eighth. He seldom has occasion to use his prerogative8 of the casting vote, for it is not often five to five on a side. There are only three people in the commission who represent the School Board, one of them is Black Hawk9 Boone.
Boone roars away with the others, who are on his right and left, like Aaron and Hur holding up the hands of Moses. And it is only at the end of some long and well dramatized skirmish that Boone wins by forcing the issues in his paper the Boone Ax and scaring a more cowardly four in Kopensky’s faction10 to vote with him temporarily on what seems a purely11 educational issue. It is not always the same four he bulldozes and many and obvious are his plots.
Drug Store Smith and Coffee Kusuko supply about one-fifth of cold science to the Mayor’s City Hall stew12. They represent the “slick” side of Kopensky. They have natty13 ideas of dress and natty ideas of administration. The remainder of Kopensky’s routine political workers are slack in every way except in the matter of secret party-discipline.
The columnist14 Romanoff in a charitable mood says, in the Boone Ax for April 11, 1052018:—“When we view the soggy-souled but amiable15 group of city fathers around Kopensky, we rejoice. There is no sign of a complete clean-up of the ages. The patriot16 is still at home in the government. And, as Andrew Jackson knew, there is an intrinsic governing power in any mass of humanity linked by friendship and under American skies. Along with the City Hall dishonesty there goes a certain mercy and fraternity, far from the sternness of the editor of this paper, who may take my remarks for what they are worth, and he may fire me if he chooses. Let my boss, the editor, admit, since he must, that the City Hall gang keep our more angular truth-telling moods from torturing the town beyond reason. As it is, I declare myself the only real jester among all our children of light.”
April 15:—As I wander about, I am glad that in my former life I was a member of the Anti-Saloon League of Central Illinois. There is no such thing as a saloon to be seen. The bar room is as extinct as the trilobite. Coca-Cola and Bevo have their new successors every day, along with mysterious elaborations of coffee and tea, and spiced drinks from the Jungles of South America. And, of course, after a hundred non-alcoholic years the soda18 fountains have tremendous importance. Drug 106Store Smith, member of the city council, is the local Soda Fountain King. He is now the owner of all the drug stores, including Dodds’ Drug Store, which keeps its old location at Fifth and Monroe.
I have indeed a curious impression as I go into Dodds’ for a soda. Fifth and Monroe reminds me of a century before. It is still the street-car center of our town. There are as of old long benches in Dodds’ where people are waiting to take street cars and there are the same revolving19 stools along the soda fountain counter but that counter is twice as long and there are tables for customers now. The sodas20 are as good as those wonders Jim Sylva used to mix, but no better.
Across the street is the old Coe’s Book Store, owned by some descendant of the original Coe family. There is, as of old, a great counter of magazines, some of them better, some of them rawer than the old list. Many of them are now published in Springfield or near by. The majority of the motion picture magazines are full of simpering photographs of Los Angeles ladies in bathing suits. They are, of course, delightful21 to behold22 but the mystery still remains23 as to what this has to do with the art of the motion picture. Of the literary magazines, the Atlantic Monthly and 107Poetry, a Magazine of Verse, still survive. The Atlantic still keeps its brick red cover and its nippy New England style and Poetry still has Pegasus on the cover and new poets on the inside. Vogue24 and Vanity Fair are still for sale. I wander out and watch the Fifth and Monroe crowd again. It is Saturday, nine o’clock in the evening, and the automobile25 horns are deafening26 and the crossing policeman is quite busy.
And now I have gone to a good old slapstick movie, by a descendant of Charlie Chaplin, and I am standing27 again on the corner and it is half past ten. Many people are looking up at the passing figures in the dance hall in the third story over the theatre. Windows are open and wild Singaporian music pours out into the streets. There are great yellow Singaporian lanterns hanging in front of the open windows and yellower light is pouring from the hall itself. It is one of the chain of Yellow dance halls in the syndicate owned by Kusuko and part of his political machine, along with his chain of Coffee houses. This particular place is called “The Hall of Velaska.”
There was a man who sat by me in the movie laughing like a boy. He is now beside 108me again. He is a gigantic black haired but aged28 Jew, obviously the Rabbi Terence Ezekiel, heretic, and planter of the Oaks of Springfield. He is in most matters a henchman of Boone and a political “scrapper,” whose deeds have set the town ringing. We are friends in a minute. He has seen me with Avanel in his synagogue—takes me as a matter of course, asks me to go with him to the Tom Strong Coffee House and Restaurant, just east of the Gaiety Theatre. There we encounter Boone and the over-sensitive quivering Joseph Bartholdi Michael, the Third. They are enjoying eleven o’clock salt mackerel together. They take along with it the knockout coffee of Kusuko, who owns all the coffee houses under whatever name, new or old.
And so the Rabbi and I join in these refreshments29 and have a jolly midnight with the heart of political and educational Springfield and, as long as the Rabbi leads the argument, there is more than enough wit in the assembly. He has the Jewish turn for puns and it is plain that Doctor Mayo Sims and Kopensky have a second laughing foeman.
But amid the jokes the Rabbi is not a bit backward about hatching local empires along 109with this inbred Michael and this black-haired descendant of Daniel Boone. Their present campaign, which they do not conceal in its tactics from me, their “cousin,” is, of course, an effort to out-maneuver30 the Mayor. Kopensky wants to bring cheap unskilled labor17 to town, leaving out the usual University entrance-examination. His ostensible31 reason is that the World’s Fair buildings will not be completed August 15, the date of opening, without this aid. It is obviously but a maneuver to bring more City Hall votes to town and votes of a manageable type.
And so I talk politics with these three. Boone proclaims that the presence this evening of Joseph Bartholdi Michael, the Third, is an evidence that the Boones and the Michaels can pull together from time to time and the Rabbi and the lad seem completely ruled by this headlong Boone who cannot eat mackerel without glowering32 as though he were devouring33 his enemies.
The other two are jollying him out of his intensity34 and he seems to thank them for it. He really relaxes a little toward midnight, as though, after all, this is a festive35 occasion of red blooded lads in a coffee house. As I think it over, walking home alone, there is an 110elusive impression that young Michael was being given an extra show of confidence for “reasons” by the apparently36 headlong older gentlemen.
April 17:—I have been asking questions about Drug Store Smith. It seems this person, Smith, has aspirations37, and values his exceedingly nominal38 place among the scientific chemists of America and will leave the town any time to attend a congress of such, where he receives due invitation:—and it is part of the tactics of Boone to lure39 him out when his vote will be an inconvenience. But it is not always easy to get him sufficient honors of this kind for he is not a benevolent40 scientist. The charm of his tonics41 and beverages42 is deemed specious43, though some of them are discreetly44 marked: “Highly recommended by Doctor Mayo Sims.” “They say” he did some sound chemical and biological research in his youth in the Springfield University laboratories.
I have been asking questions and am beginning to understand Coffee Kusuko. He has a chain of coffee houses as long as Smith’s chain of pharmacy-post-office-street-car-station-patent-medicine-confectionery-cigar-stand-and-soda-fountain establishments. Kusuko 111has made the black demi-tasse the special Springfield vice46 and there are no deeper addicts47 than those who fight him politically.
People feel quite sure his drink contains some more sinister48 ingredient from the Malay peninsula. And he it is who sees to it that all the business offices are equipped with coffee urns49 that whistle through the late afternoon:—the custom of mixing business and coffee having originated with his great great grandmother, a famous local stenographer50, who in the end became lady mayor, through her stenographers’ guild51. Politics and coffee are hereditary52 with Kusuko.
In the legitimate53 organization which ministers to this drinking habit, Kusuko has concealed54 his henchmen, who bring him all needed information and carry abroad all necessary orders. And they have a considerable opportunity to serve him. Drinking begins in the offices at 4.30 P. M. and in the more fastidious business groups with many forms, till it is near to resembling the Japanese tea-ceremony. Stenographers, some austere55 and some luxurious56, mingle57 with women political leaders, such as Orator45 Carrie Moore, Portia, the Singing Aviator58, and others. These help materially to make up the sum of grace and 112bedevilment of the business and political day. A little later people who are still restless and do not want to go home drift off toward the motion picture houses, or the drug stores or the coffee houses of Kusuko.
As to the coffee houses, I make my tours through many and find these places extraordinarily59 varied60 in design, though the same general average of a crowd is in most of them. There is a Chinese-looking place called: “The Opium61 Fish.” There is a place hung with copies of Velasques, Goya, Sorolla, and others, called: “The Spanish Gypsy.” This is a place quieter than most. Then there is a kind of a Jazz emporium with copper62 and brass63 decorations, called “The Whing Whang Tree.” There are two other places that specialize in chop suey, called: “The Mock Duck” and “The Fire Cracker64 King” and then I loaf in “The Pig and the Goose,” and “The Sword of the Skallawag,” etc. In these last two on slightly raised platforms the Malay storytellers sit cross-legged. They unroll the beautiful ensnaring legends of the Malay peninsula and the islands around it. These storytellers appear occasionally in some of the other coffee houses, also, along with negro singers, etc.
And now comes Kusuko’s last touch, where 113he has completely replaced the old political functions of the American saloon, as an acceptable harness for the social brigands65. There is always some allusion66 in the coffee houses, some implication, that the next real thing to do will be dancing, later in the evening, in wonderful Yellow Dance Halls. These are also owned by Kusuko and are the very keystone of his system. I follow the drifting tide of jolly good fellows several evenings and it leads me inevitably67 to the halls before midnight.
They are never too near the coffee houses and soda fountains and never too far away. There is nothing on the surface to make one apprehensive68 in the halls, except some very daring social dancing. There is often a motion picture show for part of the evening just off the lounging hallway and place of promenade69. The crowd is not much below the average of the regular Fifth and Monroe crowd of all kinds of people.
April 20:—I attend this evening, at the invitation of two prospective70 art students, a session of the Board of Education. They explain the session to me, while we sit in the gallery and look down upon the general tempestuousness71.
Boone is not only the presiding officer but 114has the impression that he is the whole Board of Education. Despite this they are fond of him on the board, but row with him till the men cuss before the ladies in desperate efforts to hold him down, and keep him down, and prevent his bullying72 the whole assembly out of existence. He insults everybody mercilessly and wags his black beard at them till they quail73 and quake.
It is a joy, a sorrow, an amazement74, and a wonder to me to see people who look so much like the old Prognosticator’s Club, fighting away, and when I meet them all at the end of the verbal war none of them see me except as a casual bystander.
April 21:—I have had a jolly evening at Tom Strong’s with my beloved Rabbi. Boone is our inevitable75 theme in the end. The Rabbi, as we drink the black coffee and eat the salt mackerel, confirms my tentative remark that Boone, as president of the Board of Education, enforces its edicts, though few of the decrees are those into which from the standpoint of strategy, or even conviction, he can put his private heart. But, the Rabbi points out, they are all clubs with which Boone can pound the Mayor’s majority in the city commission and he backs the board’s edicts, every one, in The 115Boone Ax, and ever so often forces something through the council.
Boone is also University Professor, one hour a week, and in his professorial special pleading, which he excludes from his activities as chairman of the Board of Education, he presents to the University and the world a new doctrine76 of health and economics, called: “Boonism” by his followers77, and “The Complete Healing” in his text book.
The Rabbi expounds78: “Boonism denounces metal money for a starter. Boone’s aversion to it has come through millionaires burying their money and bringing out coins one at a time. Boone advocates a special system of paper currency for an economic remedy, and as a means of abolishing millionaires. So Kusuko allows only metal money to be used in his places, which regulation Boone, after some contests, has accepted with a sense of humor, since he likes black coffee and cannot deny it and wants a jolly place to meet his friends. And meanwhile millionaires, though forbidden by the constitution to exist, keep on hiding money.”
According to the Rabbi:—“The most outstanding prescription79 in the personal health chapters of ‘The Complete Healing’ is the 116Apple Amaranth orchard80. The devotee is to walk in the orchards81 summer and winter, breathing the breath of the bark, blossoms, apples, and leaves, with certain well-worded philosophic82 meditations83. In general Boone condemns84 drugs, so there is a personal reason for making war on him on the part of Smith and Sims and their followers.
“The Amaranth Apple orchard, around the grave of the Sangamon County pioneer and saint, Hunter Kelly, is particularly esteemed85 by the Boone following.”
But I cannot imagine Boone or any remotely resembling imitator indulging in philosophic meditations. I could rather imagine him climbing a tree like a cinnamon bear, only with more speed and fidgets.
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machinery
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| n.(总称)机械，机器；机构 | |
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conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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conceals
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，遮住( conceal的第三人称单数 ) | |
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impudent
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| adj.鲁莽的，卑鄙的，厚颜无耻的 | |
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freshman
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| n.大学一年级学生(可兼指男女) | |
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greasy
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| adj. 多脂的，油脂的 | |
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commissioners
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| n.专员( commissioner的名词复数 )；长官；委员；政府部门的长官 | |
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prerogative
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| n.特权 | |
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hawk
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| n.鹰，骗子；鹰派成员 | |
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faction
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| n.宗派，小集团；派别；派系斗争 | |
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purely
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| adv.纯粹地，完全地 | |
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stew
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| n.炖汤，焖，烦恼；v.炖汤，焖，忧虑 | |
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natty
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| adj.整洁的，漂亮的 | |
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columnist
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| n.专栏作家 | |
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amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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patriot
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| n.爱国者，爱国主义者 | |
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labor
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| n.劳动，努力，工作，劳工；分娩；vi.劳动，努力，苦干；vt.详细分析；麻烦 | |
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soda
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| n.苏打水；汽水 | |
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revolving
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| adj.旋转的，轮转式的；循环的v.（使）旋转( revolve的现在分词 )；细想 | |
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sodas
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| n.苏打( soda的名词复数 )；碱；苏打水；汽水 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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Vogue
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automobile
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| n.汽车，机动车 | |
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deafening
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standing
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aged
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| adj.年老的，陈年的 | |
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refreshments
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maneuver
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| n.策略[pl.]演习；v.(巧妙)控制；用策略 | |
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ostensible
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glowering
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devouring
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| 吞没( devour的现在分词 )； 耗尽； 津津有味地看； 狼吞虎咽地吃光 | |
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intensity
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festive
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| adj.欢宴的，节日的 | |
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apparently
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aspirations
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| 强烈的愿望( aspiration的名词复数 )； 志向； 发送气音； 发 h 音 | |
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nominal
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lure
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benevolent
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| adj.仁慈的，乐善好施的 | |
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tonics
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| n.滋补品( tonic的名词复数 )；主音；奎宁水；浊音 | |
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beverages
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| n.饮料( beverage的名词复数 ) | |
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specious
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| adj.似是而非的；adv.似是而非地 | |
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discreetly
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orator
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| n.演说者，演讲者，雄辩家 | |
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vice
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| n.坏事；恶习；[pl.]台钳，老虎钳；adj.副的 | |
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addicts
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| 有…瘾的人( addict的名词复数 )； 入迷的人 | |
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sinister
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| adj.不吉利的，凶恶的，左边的 | |
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urns
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| n.壶( urn的名词复数 )；瓮；缸；骨灰瓮 | |
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stenographer
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| n.速记员 | |
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guild
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| n.行会，同业公会，协会 | |
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hereditary
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| adj.遗传的，遗传性的，可继承的，世袭的 | |
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legitimate
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| adj.合法的，合理的，合乎逻辑的；v.使合法 | |
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concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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austere
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| adj.艰苦的；朴素的，朴实无华的；严峻的 | |
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luxurious
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| adj.精美而昂贵的；豪华的 | |
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mingle
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| vt.使混合，使相混；vi.混合起来；相交往 | |
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aviator
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| n.飞行家，飞行员 | |
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extraordinarily
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varied
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| adj.多样的，多变化的 | |
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opium
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| n.鸦片；adj.鸦片的 | |
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copper
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| n.铜；铜币；铜器；adj.铜(制)的；(紫)铜色的 | |
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brass
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| n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器 | |
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cracker
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| n.（无甜味的）薄脆饼干 | |
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brigands
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| n.土匪，强盗( brigand的名词复数 ) | |
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allusion
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| n.暗示，间接提示 | |
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inevitably
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| adv.不可避免地；必然发生地 | |
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apprehensive
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| adj.担心的，恐惧的，善于领会的 | |
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promenade
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prospective
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| adj.预期的，未来的，前瞻性的 | |
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tempestuousness
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bullying
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| v.恐吓，威逼( bully的现在分词 )；豪；跋扈 | |
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73
quail
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| n.鹌鹑；vi.畏惧，颤抖 | |
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74
amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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75
inevitable
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| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
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76
doctrine
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| n.教义；主义；学说 | |
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77
followers
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| 追随者( follower的名词复数 )； 用户； 契据的附面； 从动件 | |
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78
expounds
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| 论述，详细讲解( expound的第三人称单数 ) | |
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79
prescription
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| n.处方，开药；指示，规定 | |
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80
orchard
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| n.果园，果园里的全部果树，(美俚)棒球场 | |
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81
orchards
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| （通常指围起来的）果园( orchard的名词复数 ) | |
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82
philosophic
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| adj.哲学的，贤明的 | |
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83
meditations
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| 默想( meditation的名词复数 )； 默念； 沉思； 冥想 | |
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84
condemns
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| v.（通常因道义上的原因而）谴责( condemn的第三人称单数 )；宣判；宣布…不能使用；迫使…陷于不幸的境地 | |
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85
esteemed
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| adj.受人尊敬的v.尊敬( esteem的过去式和过去分词 )；敬重；认为；以为 | |
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