Chapter VIII--Again Awake

 When I was again aware of living I heard things hazily¹, quite as if there were a thick wall between me and the voices of the people who stood so anxiously bending over me.

“I tell you, Archie, the child was strangled,” I heard Aunt Penelope say. “And Heaven only knows what may happen next, with all the Bolsheviki around--can’t you do something (Amy, put down that revolver, you are driving me crazy!)--and Evelyn, right in the next room, hearing nothing. . . . And said she wasn’t asleep. . . . Amy, if you don’t sit down I will scream! And Ito, right in the pantry, by the fire-escape, on which he must have climbed (if it was a he), and how he got up I don’t know. . . . And you say there’s no danger, doctor? . . . The only child of my dear dead sister, and what will happen next? . . . The only thing, of course, is to remain calm (Amy, can’t you stop wiggling? There are limits.), and I suppose to maintain calm is the only sensible proceeding---- What was that?” She screamed the last, and I sat up.

The doctor was almost rude about telling her to be quiet. And then he ordered them all out and sat down on the edge of my bed.

“Anyone you especially want to see?” he asked.

I said I didn’t think so.

“Sure?” he asked.

“You’d better not sit with your back to the window,” I advised. Then he took hold of my hand. “There is no danger in windows,” he said in a level, awfully² sure voice. “What hurt you won’t hurt you again. . .” And he said it so that I believed him at the time.

“Now about someone to sit with you to-night. The ladies, it seems, all have engagements, and I’ve urged them to keep them. Thought the normal might give them a balance.”

“Oh, I’ll be all right,” I answered. “Jane can look in once in a while.” But without meaning to I looked at the window. The doctor frowned, and I was ashamed. I told him about how I had been chased and that that had upset me a little. And that I was usually brave. He said he thought I was splendid, and that he wasn’t angry with me.

“Sam Kempwood who helped you out of that scrape?” he questioned.

I nodded.

“Bully chap,” he said. “I know him.”

I said I thought he was one of the nicest men that I’d ever met. That you could tell it.

“Suppose he comes up and plays nurse?” the doctor suggested.

I smiled. “That would be lovely,” I admitted after a long breath, for even then I really loved Mr. Kempwood, “but I am sure it will bore him. You see, I don’t know how to entertain people the way my cousin Evelyn does.”

But the doctor said that I was to be entertained, and that he’d stop at Mr. Kempwood’s on the way down. And then he wrapped me up in a pink comforter and carried me out to the living-room, where he put me on a wide lounge which stands before the fire.

“Now Hannah, or Molly, or whatever your name is,” he said to Jane, “you stay with this child until I come back.” And Jane did, but she wasn’t much help. She was so awfully frightened and kept jumping and looking around. . . . In just a few moments the bell rang, and I heard the men in the hall. . . . “Just a little while will change the trend and help her,” the doctor said. “The rest have cleared out and good riddance! Weren’t any good. . . . Awfully decent of you, Kempwood.”

“Not a bit of it,” said Mr. Kempwood; “hadn’t anything to do.”

“Well, don’t make a long business of it,” said the doctor; “just a few moments will help. The child’s evident admiration³ for you led me to think that you could help her most.” And then they stopped talking and tiptoed in. I smiled at Mr. Kempwood and tried to tell him how grateful I was to him for coming up, but it was not easy to talk.

“Never mind about that,” he said gently. And then he sat down by me, and showed me some pictures which I couldn’t see very well, because my sight was so blurred⁴.

“Suppose,” he said, “we’re quiet----” And I nodded. And then he took hold of my hand and patted it, and it helped a great deal. And I don’t know how it happened, but, somehow, I was telling him how I had hated coming to New York, how I missed Uncle Frank and Bradly-dear, and about the cricket that stays in the earth for three years. Then my eyes filled--I could feel them--and I whispered: “It’s only been three days.”

“My dear child!” he answered, and I could see he was awfully sorry for me. He patted terribly hard. That helped too, but it made me smile. After that one tear slipped over the edge, and, because I hadn’t a handkerchief, he wiped it off with his. I thanked him very much, and then I said: “I don’t ever cry.”

“So I see,” he answered, and he smiled, but so gently that I didn’t mind.

I said: “I don’t really. That is, not when I’m well. I hadn’t before to-night for ages.”

“You didn’t to-night,” he answered, and so cheerfully. “?‘One swallow doesn’t make a summer,’ so certainly one tear doesn’t make a cry!” And I was so glad he thought I hadn’t.

“When you want to cry hard,” I confided⁵ further, “swallowing very quickly again and again will stall it. It’s a great help----”

And he said: “You little sport!” And I began to feel happier. He looked at me so nicely, it warmed me up, and my throat began to feel better. I asked him when he had to go, and he said not until I was so sick of him that I would have Jane throw him out. Then again we were quiet.

“Look here,” he said after a few moments, “don’t you like baseball?”

I nodded as hard as my stiff throat would let me.

“Well,” he went on, “don’t you think your aunt would let you go to the big games with me next year?”

I sat up. “Oh,” I said, “if she only would!”

“We’ll see that she will. But that’s a long way off. We’ll have to have good times before that. Ever been to the Hippodrome?” I said I hadn’t, and he described it. I became very interested, for it sounded like a sort of glorified⁶ circus. I had to lie down again, for I began to feel dizzy and sick, but he went right on talking of it as he arranged the pillows for me and made me comfortable.

Then I thought of the bracelet⁷ and asked for Jane. Mr. Kempwood rang, and she came. I told her I wanted a white satin box that stood on my bureau, and asked her please to get it. When she brought it back I held it for several minutes without opening it, and then I shut my eyes and felt. The bracelet was there.

I put it on, and then after a little interval⁸ I told Mr. Kempwood the whole story. I couldn’t talk loudly, but he leaned over and got it all.

“Dear child,” he said, “that’s utter nonsense.”

I looked at it and shook my head.

“Give it to me,” he said; “I have a wall safe, and I’ll take charge of it for you.”

I shook my head. “You said you’d take me to the league games,” I answered. “I’m not going to run any risks!” And then we both laughed. He did some more urgings, but I did not give in, for I knew that it was my battle, and I meant to fight it out. I didn’t think I could ever hold up my head if I evaded⁹ it, and then--I couldn’t bear the idea of its hurting Mr. Kempwood. I told him so. “And not entirely¹⁰ because of those games,” I admitted honestly, “but because I like you, a great deal.”

He answered me quickly. “Natalie,” he said (I had told him my name as I related the story of the bracelet), “let’s be friends. For I like you too, and,” he added after a pause, “a great deal.”

That began my friendship with Mr. Kempwood, which helped me in so many ways and came to mean so much.

1 hazily   

ad. vaguely, not clear

参考例句：

• He remembered her only hazily. 他只是模模糊糊地记得她。
• We saw the distant hills hazily. 我们朦胧地看到了远处的山丘。

2 awfully   

adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地

参考例句：

• Agriculture was awfully neglected in the past.过去农业遭到严重忽视。
• I've been feeling awfully bad about it.对这我一直感到很难受。

3 admiration   

n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕

参考例句：

• He was lost in admiration of the beauty of the scene.他对风景之美赞不绝口。
• We have a great admiration for the gold medalists.我们对金牌获得者极为敬佩。

4 blurred   

v.（使）变模糊( blur的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）难以区分；模模糊糊；迷离

参考例句：

• She suffered from dizziness and blurred vision. 她饱受头晕目眩之苦。
• Their lazy, blurred voices fell pleasantly on his ears. 他们那种慢吞吞、含糊不清的声音在他听起来却很悦耳。 来自《简明英汉词典》

5 confided   

v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的过去式和过去分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等）

参考例句：

• She confided all her secrets to her best friend. 她向她最要好的朋友倾吐了自己所有的秘密。
• He confided to me that he had spent five years in prison. 他私下向我透露，他蹲过五年监狱。 来自《简明英汉词典》

6 glorified   

美其名的，变荣耀的

参考例句：

• The restaurant was no more than a glorified fast-food cafe. 这地方美其名曰餐馆，其实只不过是个快餐店而已。
• The author glorified the life of the peasants. 那个作者赞美了农民的生活。

7 bracelet   

n.手镯，臂镯

参考例句：

• The jeweler charges lots of money to set diamonds in a bracelet.珠宝匠要很多钱才肯把钻石镶在手镯上。
• She left her gold bracelet as a pledge.她留下她的金手镯作抵押品。

8 interval   

n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息

参考例句：

• The interval between the two trees measures 40 feet.这两棵树的间隔是40英尺。
• There was a long interval before he anwsered the telephone.隔了好久他才回了电话。

9 evaded   

逃避( evade的过去式和过去分词 )； 避开； 回避； 想不出

参考例句：

• For two weeks they evaded the press. 他们有两周一直避而不见记者。
• The lion evaded the hunter. 那狮子躲开了猎人。

10 entirely   

ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
• His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。