Thus the party of women in Mrs. Harwood’s drawing-room were diversely moved, but all to the same end. The mother herself felt nothing but anxiety about her child. She was not an enthusiast11 for Charley Meredith, though she liked him well enough. His blue-black hair, his fine moustache, his bloom of roses or wax, his seductive eyes, and fine voice were not much to the old lady. And she thought him too fond of music and society, not sufficiently12 anxious to establish his practice and make his name known at the Bar, which was to be his means of living. As she sat and knitted, and listened, and looked on, her mind was full of calculations, often gone over, as to how much the two could scrape together between them to begin housekeeping upon, and whether it would do? Mrs. Harwood naturally knew to a penny what her daughter’s fortune would be, although she was not without anxieties lying deep in her soul, even upon that point, which nobody guessed. And as she was well acquainted with his Aunt Owen and his other relatives in Wales, and knew how the family had been “left” at his father’s death, she had a tolerably good guess as to what young Meredith was worth in the way of money, and wished it had been more. Still, if, when this period of courtship was over, he would more or less give up music, and devote himself to work, what with Gussy’s little fortune, and the remnants of what he had from his father, they might do. It was not a very brilliant conclusion, but yet it might do. When she had come to the end of one such long course of calculations and thoughts, Mrs. Harwood would nod her head and say, “That is very pretty; what is it? Who is it by?”—questions of which in a general way no one took any notice; and then she would begin with her calculations again.
Janet naturally approached the question from an entirely different side. She said to herself that there was not the least doubt about Miss Harwood’s sentiments, but she herself was generally treated as if she were a cabbage on these musical evenings. There was no notice taken of her. Though they were so kind in all other ways, and though even Gussy never wavered in her friendliness13 on other occasions, on these she ignored Janet altogether. Mr. Meredith made her a bow when he shook hands with Mrs. Harwood, and, if he were not absolutely in the middle of a song, he would make a rush to{69} open the door for her when Julia and she retired14 with their candles. But that was all, and Gussy went on all the time with her accompaniment (which she played so badly!), and took no notice, except to call him back sometimes, the governess thought, with a little sharpness. But that was all.
Was it all? In the depths of her heart Janet felt that it was not. Mr. Meredith’s eyes were fine, with almost too much eyelash for a man; they were undeniably like those bold orbs15 which shine from waxen faces in a barber’s shop: but they had a way of opening very wide and expressing a great deal of sentiment, which is not given to those representations of manhood, though at first Janet was wicked enough to think that if the waxen busts16 could look sentimental17 they would do it in a similar way. When Janet, however, found that these great eyes were made for herself—when she discovered that Mr. Charles Meredith was asking pardon of her for his scant18 greeting, and throwing a good deal of respectful admiration19 into the momentary20 but intense gaze which was from time to time directed upon her—and when, finally, she found herself almost by this same medium taken into his confidence, made to sympathize with him when, having settled down for a comfortable chat, and secured a place near herself where he could conduct these telegraphic communications easily, he was carried off without compunction by Gussy to the piano—Janet’s opinion undeniably changed a little.
There is nothing more flattering than to be made the confidant, to be put behind the scenes, to have the dessous des cartes revealed to you; and the piquancy21 of the revelation, which was never put into words, which was half her own quick perception, which could not have been made to any one whose understanding was less vivid, charmed her imagination, which was still mischievous23 and curious like that of a child. Sometimes, when Gussy led him away triumphant24, he would give a rueful glance, and it was hard ado for Janet to restrain her impulse to laugh. Gussy swept him away in her train as if he had been her own property, as if his visit had no other object than that piano, always open in the background, which afforded such an easy mode of separation from the others, and the suggestive delightful25 semi-privacy in which the two voices mingled26 as the two hearts were learning to mingle27. That was Gussy’s view of the question, but it did not long continue to be Janet’s. When poor Gussy made, as now and then she did, a false note, when she went wrong in those somewhat elaborate accompaniments which Janet knew she herself could play so much better, a momentary gleam from Mr. Meredith’s eyes,{70} the pointed28 shrug29 of his shoulders or elevation30 of his brows, gave Janet once more that inclination31 to laugh which it was so difficult to restrain.
It did not at all occur to the girl behind backs that she was an accomplice32 in a piece of domestic treachery. It was ludicrous to see the unconscious performer, full of complacency in her accomplishment33, producing those false notes; it was at once horrifying34 and laughable to hear the strange discords35 with which the piano came in. Janet, who could have done it so much better herself, felt a little shiver steal over her at the first jarring thrill, and what so natural as that he, who was evidently a good musician, should discover it, too, and seek her sympathy. As these communications grew more frequent, it is true that Janet did feel a little shame now and then steal over her. Poor Miss Harwood! She would not like it, the governess felt sure, if she surprised one of these glances; and thus, in the complacence of knowing better, in the secret superiority of divining the sentiments of Gussy’s lover even better than Gussy did, the girl felt it almost impossible not to burst into a little laugh again.
Were these two floating on—as Gussy thought in her confident tenderness and glamour36 of love, as Mrs. Harwood thought in her anxious calculations and adding up of this and that to see whether it would do, as Julia, in her eager dislike and scorn and childish inexperience, was certain of—towards a happy dénouement and a life of harmony together? This was what Janet did not know. She sat and wondered, going on with her needlework. Janet, who was not at all without experience, and who had seen that people in most things consider their own advantage and pleasure first, as the protectress of her own childhood had done in adopting her, did not jump to the conclusion that Meredith had not the intentions which the others attributed to him. But she had a doubt which none of the others had. She sat and wondered, working on, anxious to be a little nearer, and hear what they were saying, longing37 to be asked to take that accompaniment, to be in the middle of what was going on. The uncertainty lent the scene, which in any case would have been as good as a play, a still more vivid interest. Her heart beat with the sensation of knowing so much more than the others, with wondering from day to day what would be the next event, and how it would end. Strangely enough, she did not enter at all into Gussy’s feelings, or conceive any sympathy for her. Like Julia, like the very young in general, Janet was angry with Miss Harwood for being “silly,” for letting the visitor see{71} his advantage. She could not forgive the woman who made the advances, who was deceived and fancied herself beloved, and flung herself at the head, or at the feet, of a tardy38 lover. She was more impatient with Gussy for the glamour in her eyes, than with Meredith for having none, for shrugging his shoulders at the false notes.
It came about, however, one evening, in the most natural manner in the world, that Janet, trembling with impatience39 behind backs, and longing to be in the midst of it, achieved at last the active share she desired in what was going on. She never could tell whether it was accident or whether Meredith had chosen on purpose a duet of which the accompaniment was extremely difficult, such as Miss Harwood was quite incapable40 of.
After a few trials and failures, the practising came to a sudden end, and a little controversy41 evidently went on over the piano. He proposed something which she did not consent to willingly. By-and-bye Gussy’s voice, a little raised in vexation, reached the other end of the room.
“I have no reason to suppose she can play at all,” she said.
“Oh, yes! enough to teach Ju; but Ju has no ear and no taste, and never will do anything.”
Again the lover made a representation, inaudible, in Gussy’s ear.
“Well, if you like we can ask her; but it’s always introducing a third, and spoiling——”
Janet’s ears were so quickened by this time that she heard, or thought she heard, him say, stooping close to Gussy’s ear,
“Who can feel that like me? But she’s only—seems to know her place.”
Heavens! how the heart jumped up in Janet’s breast! She was sure she heard him say, “seems to know her place.” Her place! and he who had made her his confidant, made her the judge, making fun of Gussy to her, as he now set her down so contemptuously to Gussy! The blood boiled in Janet’s veins43, a flood of thoughts and resolutions rushed through her mind. She would not play for them! They might break down, and Miss Harwood might jar him to death with her discords, for anything Janet cared. Her place! behind their backs, without notice, without a word! Oh, yes, she would keep it, she would understand what it was, she would do nothing for them! And then the pendulum44 swung the other way. Yes, she would play for them. She would show Gussy what a{72} bungler45 she was. She would let them both see that it was quite simple, nothing to make any fuss about, to herself no more than the easiest exercise! She would play, but never betray again that she was conscious of Mr. Meredith’s existence, never seem to see his looks, treat him as if he were the cabbage——
All this ran through her thoughts in the moment, while Miss Harwood turned slowly round on her music stool, and he advanced a step, turning towards Janet a look of entreaty46, and at the same time of private intelligence, such as all her resolution not to look could not prevent her from seeing. Gussy had never treated Janet with unkindness, never shown any want of consideration, save in ignoring her on these occasions; but at present her voice sounded careless, disrespectful, almost insulting.
“Miss Summerhayes!” she called out, carelessly.
“Miss Summerhayes!” cried Gussy again.
“My dear,” said Mrs. Harwood, “my daughter is calling you. I think you did not hear.”
“Oh!” said Janet, and looked up as if she had heard for the first time; indeed, the force of her indignation gave her something of the feeling of one awakened48 from a dream.
“Will you come here, please?” said Miss Harwood.
Never before had there been between them the tone of command and obedience49. Janet reflected to herself bitterly that she was supposed to know her place, and rose, but with a reluctance50 that anybody could see.
This reluctance softened51 Gussy. She thought the other girl felt all the inappropriateness of being made the third between two——
“Please come and look at this accompaniment. I have never seen it before, and it seems difficult. Will you try it for us? You said you could play.”
“Yes, I can play.” Janet went slowly towards the piano. He might make eyes as he chose, she would not see them. She looked at the music while Gussy rose and left the place for her. Easy? why, it was child’s play! “I will play it if you wish me to do so;” her fingers were crisp with impatience to get at the keys.
“Oh, do, do, Miss Summerhayes! we are waiting for you. A new accompaniment and a new song at once are too much for anyone. Is that the proper height for you? is the light{73} as you like it? Ah!” he said, with a deep breath, “that is something like; now, Gussy!”
He took her hand to draw her to his side, and over Gussy’s colorless face there sprang anew that light as if it came through rose-leaves, through some ethereal medium, a light ineffable52, which neither sunlight nor lamplight ever gave.
Poor Gussy! this was the look which made her sister’s childish countenance53 lower, which was “silly,” which moved Janet to mingled ridicule54, wrath55, and shame. These young critics had no mercy. But as she stood by her lover’s side and sang, all unkindly thoughts and every little irritation56 went out of Gussy’s soul. She was the only one of them whose mind was in true harmony with the music; the others were better performers. She forgot that she had been displeased57 to have Janet called in. She touched the girl’s shoulder tenderly, gratefully with her hand; her heart went out in the song, though she was not so very certain about the notes.
It was not at all with these beautiful emotions that Janet plunged58 into the mazes59 of the notes. She played with rage, with fury, beating down the man who had wounded her, helping60 out the tremulous soprano; and Meredith, roused to the conflict, sang against her, till he, too, excelled himself. It was like a musical duel61, carried out to the last note with an intention which the two chief performers only were aware of; and Janet was ringing out the last symphony with her cheeks burning and her heart beating, when suddenly she sprang up from the piano and covered her face and her ears with her hands.
“Oh, there it is!” she cried, “there it is again!”
“There is—what?” said Miss Harwood. She had been standing22 a step apart, contemplating62 with mixed feelings the performance from which she herself had dropped. She came forward and laid her hand on Janet’s shoulder. “What is the matter, Miss Summerhayes? Have you done too much? are you ill? What is it?”
“The voice, the voice!” said Janet, still with her hands on her ears.
“The voice! I heard the wind in the chimney, if that is what you mean.”
“And I heard nothing at all, except Miss Summerhayes’ brilliant performance,” said Mr. Meredith.
“Miss Summerhayes is not so complimentary63 to you. She evidently was not thinking of your brilliant performance. Why, you are quite upset,” said Gussy with the faintest tone of contempt.{74}
“What is it? What did she hear?” cried Mrs. Harwood, sharply, from her chair.
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1
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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hostility
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| n.敌对，敌意；抵制［pl.］交战，战争 | |
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indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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odious
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| adj.可憎的，讨厌的 | |
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uncertainty
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| n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物 | |
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fabric
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| n.织物，织品，布；构造，结构，组织 | |
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eyelids
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| n.眼睑( eyelid的名词复数 )；眼睛也不眨一下；不露声色；面不改色 | |
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humiliation
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| n.羞辱 | |
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resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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11
enthusiast
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| n.热心人，热衷者 | |
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sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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friendliness
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| n.友谊，亲切，亲密 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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15
orbs
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| abbr.off-reservation boarding school 在校寄宿学校n.球，天体，圆形物( orb的名词复数 ) | |
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16
busts
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| 半身雕塑像( bust的名词复数 )； 妇女的胸部； 胸围； 突击搜捕 | |
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sentimental
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| adj.多愁善感的，感伤的 | |
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scant
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| adj.不充分的，不足的；v.减缩，限制，忽略 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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piquancy
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| n.辛辣，辣味，痛快 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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mischievous
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| adj.调皮的，恶作剧的，有害的，伤人的 | |
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triumphant
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| adj.胜利的，成功的；狂欢的，喜悦的 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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mingle
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| vt.使混合，使相混；vi.混合起来；相交往 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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shrug
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| v.耸肩(表示怀疑、冷漠、不知等) | |
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elevation
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| n.高度；海拔；高地；上升；提高 | |
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inclination
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| n.倾斜；点头；弯腰；斜坡；倾度；倾向；爱好 | |
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accomplice
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| n.从犯，帮凶，同谋 | |
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accomplishment
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| n.完成，成就，（pl.）造诣，技能 | |
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horrifying
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| a.令人震惊的，使人毛骨悚然的 | |
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discords
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| 不和（discord的复数形式） | |
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glamour
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| n.魔力，魅力；vt.迷住 | |
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longing
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| n.（for）渴望 | |
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tardy
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| adj.缓慢的，迟缓的 | |
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impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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controversy
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| n.争论，辩论，争吵 | |
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murmur
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| n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言 | |
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veins
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| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
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pendulum
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| n.摆，钟摆 | |
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Bungler
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| n.笨拙者，经验不够的人 | |
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entreaty
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| n.恳求，哀求 | |
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tumult
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| n.喧哗；激动，混乱；吵闹 | |
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48
awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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obedience
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| n.服从，顺从 | |
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50
reluctance
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| n.厌恶，讨厌，勉强，不情愿 | |
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51
softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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52
ineffable
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| adj.无法表达的，不可言喻的 | |
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53
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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ridicule
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| v.讥讽，挖苦；n.嘲弄 | |
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55
wrath
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| n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒 | |
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irritation
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| n.激怒，恼怒，生气 | |
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displeased
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| a.不快的 | |
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plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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mazes
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| 迷宫( maze的名词复数 )； 纷繁复杂的规则； 复杂难懂的细节； 迷宫图 | |
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helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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duel
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| n./v.决斗；(双方的)斗争 | |
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contemplating
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| 深思，细想，仔细考虑( contemplate的现在分词 )； 注视，凝视； 考虑接受（发生某事的可能性）； 深思熟虑，沉思，苦思冥想 | |
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complimentary
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| adj.赠送的，免费的，赞美的，恭维的 | |
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