I will not linger over those days at school. I have sought thus far to picture my early life, not that it held incident, but that it revealed a condition. Time has been so sweeping4, the hot blast that blew from the North[Pg 60] was so scorching5, and left such dried and brittle6 stems where green memories grew, that the youth of to-day can scarcely bring himself to comprehend that strange democratic absolutism which once existed in the South. And I wonder now that it could have lasted so long, though for years the wonder was that it could so soon have been broken up. How odd now it would seem to point out a man and say, "He once owned, in this land of freedom, a hundred human beings—owned them in body, but Christian-like yielded to God the direction of their souls."
During the regular sessions, until he had reached his eighteenth year, my young master attended the Layfield Academy, and then he was entered at Center College. I had kept well up with him, a dead secret between us, for Old Mistress had more than once made him promise that I should be kept down upon the servants' proper level. But the secret was discovered and once it was held threateningly over me.
Bob and I were home to spend the Christmas holidays. On the plantation7 was an Ethiopian Lothario, named Steve, and one evening in his cabin he asked me if I would write for him a letter to a mulatto girl who lived on a distant farm. "I want you," said he, "ter fling in jest ez much sweet pizen ez you kin8, caze[Pg 61] I lubs dat lady an' her head is monstus high. I yered de white preacher say sumfin dat he 'lowed wuz frum de dead language. An' kain't you lash9 in er little o' dat dead talk? I know it'll fetch her caze dat preacher's dead talk fotch me."
"How do you know I can write?" I asked, for I had curbed10 the pedantic11 instinct of the negro blood within me and except to a few trusted friends had dropped no hint that I could even read.
"Oh, I 'lowed dat ez smart er boy ez you gwine off ter school an' college wid his young marster oughter larn how ter do dat. Will you write de letter fur me?"
I wrote him a screed12 that made his eyes snap when I read it to him. It was a mixture of cold Latin grammar and warm persuasion13. "Ah, Lawd," he said as he sat, tallowing his Sunday shoes, "ef dat doan fetch her she ain't ter be fotch." He folded the letter, and when he had put it into his pocket he turned upon me. "Oh, yas, you goes off ter school an' l'arns dead talk an' de rest o' us hatter sweat in de fiel'. An' de fust thing we knows you'll be crossin' de Ohio riber ter make speeches 'mong dem 'litionists. I'm gwine tell Ole Miss."
"What!" I cried, "after I have written a letter for you?"
[Pg 62]
"Oh, I kain't hep de letter. Dat wuz er—wuz er matter o' fack. But it ain't er matter o' fack dat you'se been trying ter put yo-se'f up 'mong de white fo'ks, er turnin' up yo' nose at us caze you'se whiter an' got mo' dead talk den3 we has."
"Steve," I pleaded, "please don't tell her. I couldn't help learning something, and I pledge you my word that I don't know much. Why, there are hundreds of negroes all about here that can read as well as I can and their masters think nothing of it."
"Doan you fool yo'se'f 'bout14 dat, honey. Dar's er heap said erbout it. Da reads dem little flat books ter de uder niggers an' da gits whupped fur it, too. And de fust thing we knows you'll be readin' trouble on dis plan'ation. I'm gwine ter de house in de mornin' an' tell Ole Miss."
"Yes, and if you do, I'll have you whipped. Young Master won't put up with such an interference with his affairs. I belong to him and not to Old Miss."
"Ah, hah, but whut Ole Miss say comes mighty15 nigh bein' law sometimes. I'se had my eye on you fur er laung time, an' I'd like might'ly ter see you out yander in de fiel' er brilin' er laung side o' me."
I argued with him, threatened him, but it was of no use. He shook his head and declared that he would[Pg 63] tell Old Miss. And the next day he proved his mean nature. I kept a close watch on him and saw him start toward the house just as Old Miss stepped out upon the veranda16. I can see him now, wool hat under arm, bowing to her. I knew that he expected a reward and I wondered what it would be. She listened and greatly to my surprise replied: "Well, I hope he'll learn enough to behave himself."
"But goodness me, Ole Miss, ain't you gwine gib me suthin' fur all dis?" the rascally18 tell-tale pleaded.
She took out a small piece of money, tossed it to him and said: "There. And now I want you to remember one thing—don't come to me with any more stories."
She saw me as I dodged19 behind a corner of the dairy, and called me to her. "Dan," she said as I came up the steps, "I thought you had more sense than to create jealousies20 by exhibiting the crumbs21 of knowledge your master has permitted you to pick from under his table?"
I looked at her in surprise; surely the idea was not her own, but in her expression of it there was almost a majestic22 rebuke23. I can see her now as she stood, her gray eyes fixed24 upon me, her silver-streaked hair parted flat, a bunch of authoritative25 keys hanging from her girdle. I gave her the all effective knee-bend of[Pg 64] submission26, and recounted briefly27 the manner in which the black rascal17 had snared28 me. This amused her and she laughed with a cold cackle, but she did not strike me with her keys, as I had feared she would, though the memory of that feelingless laugh lived with me longer than the ache of a blow would have lasted on my head. Old Master came walking slowly out of the hall, with his spectacles on and with a letter in his hand. "Madam," he said, "Doctor Bates is coming back. Dan, saddle the sorrel horse and bring him round to the front gate."
I hastened to the stable, musing29 upon the return of that trouble-brewing man. He had been home a number of times while Bob and I were off at school, but I had not seen him. More than once I had half suspected that he sought to marry Miss May, to fasten another grip upon the estate, but it did not seem possible that so gentle a woman could marry so hard a man. Yet, I was wise enough to know that we can never tell. A woman's heart is like a bird, beating upon the window at night, dazzled by the promise of a warmth within a glowing room, and seeing not an icy cruelty sitting beside the fire, lying in wait for a tender victim.
While I was holding the horse, waiting for Master to mount, he paused, with his hand on the horn of the[Pg 65] saddle and said: "Dan, when your Mars. George gets here, I want you to treat him with the greatest respect. Do you hear?"
"Master," I replied grandiloquently30, "I might fail to hear it thunder, but I cannot fail to hear what you say."
He looked at me and remarked: "Look here, you are getting to be a good deal of a d—d fool." But I saw him chuckling31 as he turned his head away, and I knew that he was pleased. Masters liked the flattery of their slaves, and this is the reason that there is so much cozenage32, even in the negro of to-day.
"Do you know why he is coming back?" I ventured to ask.
"Coming back because this is his home, sir. And I don't want you to presume to ask such questions, sir. Well," he said, noticing that I was still holding the bridle33, "are you going to let me go, or must I stand here until you are ready to release me?"
"I beg your pardon," I replied, stepping back.
"All right," he said as he rode away, and looking back he added: "Remember that I want you to treat him with the greatest of respect."
点击收听单词发音
1 embedded | |
a.扎牢的 | |
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2 lithograph | |
n.平板印刷,平板画;v.用平版印刷 | |
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3 den | |
n.兽穴;秘密地方;安静的小房间,私室 | |
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4 sweeping | |
adj.范围广大的,一扫无遗的 | |
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5 scorching | |
adj. 灼热的 | |
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6 brittle | |
adj.易碎的;脆弱的;冷淡的;(声音)尖利的 | |
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7 plantation | |
n.种植园,大农场 | |
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8 kin | |
n.家族,亲属,血缘关系;adj.亲属关系的,同类的 | |
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9 lash | |
v.系牢;鞭打;猛烈抨击;n.鞭打;眼睫毛 | |
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10 curbed | |
v.限制,克制,抑制( curb的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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11 pedantic | |
adj.卖弄学问的;迂腐的 | |
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12 screed | |
n.长篇大论 | |
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13 persuasion | |
n.劝说;说服;持有某种信仰的宗派 | |
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14 bout | |
n.侵袭,发作;一次(阵,回);拳击等比赛 | |
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15 mighty | |
adj.强有力的;巨大的 | |
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16 veranda | |
n.走廊;阳台 | |
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17 rascal | |
n.流氓;不诚实的人 | |
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18 rascally | |
adj. 无赖的,恶棍的 adv. 无赖地,卑鄙地 | |
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19 dodged | |
v.闪躲( dodge的过去式和过去分词 );回避 | |
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20 jealousies | |
n.妒忌( jealousy的名词复数 );妒羡 | |
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21 crumbs | |
int. (表示惊讶)哎呀 n. 碎屑 名词crumb的复数形式 | |
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22 majestic | |
adj.雄伟的,壮丽的,庄严的,威严的,崇高的 | |
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23 rebuke | |
v.指责,非难,斥责 [反]praise | |
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24 fixed | |
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的 | |
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25 authoritative | |
adj.有权威的,可相信的;命令式的;官方的 | |
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26 submission | |
n.服从,投降;温顺,谦虚;提出 | |
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27 briefly | |
adv.简单地,简短地 | |
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28 snared | |
v.用罗网捕捉,诱陷,陷害( snare的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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29 musing | |
n. 沉思,冥想 adj. 沉思的, 冥想的 动词muse的现在分词形式 | |
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30 grandiloquently | |
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31 chuckling | |
轻声地笑( chuckle的现在分词 ) | |
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32 cozenage | |
n.欺骗,哄骗,瞒骗 | |
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33 bridle | |
n.笼头,束缚;vt.抑制,约束;动怒 | |
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