But when he was left to himself, and the reaction after the cold water, and the mental spurt7 which he had put on to talk to the landlady8, set in, Gilbert Lloyd felt that the blow which for the last few days he had been certain was impending9, had fallen at last. The depression under which he had been recently labouring was then accounted for; that attempted crime, which had brought upon him the sentence of banishment10 from his father's house, the loss of his ancestral name and family position, which had sent him forth11 into the wilderness12 of the world, there to stand or fall entirely13 by his own arts or luck,--this crime was to be visited on him again, just at the very time when everything else was going wrong with him!
Lord Sandilands, then, was the friend to whom his father had confided14 that horrible secret. He had often wondered to whom his father's letter had alluded15, but had never thought of identifying the bland16, pleasant old nobleman with the man who held the history of his dishonour17 in his keeping. His father's letter had said, "This friend is not acquainted with your personal appearance, and cannot therefore recognise you, should your future conduct enable you to present yourself in any place where he may be found." Even in the desperate circumstances in which he was placed, Gilbert Lloyd almost laughed as he recalled these words, and thought how frequently his conduct had "enabled him to present himself" in places where old Sandilands was to be found; how, indeed, he had been a leader and prime favourite in the very society which the old nobleman most affected18. "Not acquainted with his personal appearance:" of course not, or Lord Sandilands would never have consented to meet him on the terms on which they had met, and which, though not intimate, were sufficiently19 familiar; would never have suffered him to be the second-self of Lord Ticehurst--his lordship could endure Gilbert Lloyd the turfite, but Geoffrey Challoner--How had he learned about Geoffrey Challoner, then?--whence had come this secret information? Not from Gertrude: that little fact was yet to be broken to her, he thought with bitter delight. Who had been Lord Sandilands' informant? Miles, of course!--he had forgotten him, his dear, charming brother Miles! O, that boyish hatred20 had not been misplaced; there was something in it beyond the mere21 desire to get rid of one who stood between him and the estate. If Miles had been nothing to him, he should have hated him. Miles, of course! His father's letter had told him that this friend would be "always in close and constant intercourse22 with my son." Close and constant intercourse!--that was true enough; and now this precious pair had put their heads together for the purpose of his humiliation23. Why just at that time? It could only have been recently that Miles had told the old gentleman, though he had known it so long ago. Why had he only just told Lord Sandilands, when he had known it ever since Gertrude's first appearance at Carabas House? Gertrude--and Miles! was that the clue? Miles was desperately24 in love with Gertrude--he had seen that with his own eyes; and, besides, Toshington--everybody--had told him so. In their confidence on this point, can Miles have revealed this fact to his old friend? Gilbert did not see what end could have been gained by that, more especially as the greatest secret of all--the existence of the marriage between him and Gertrude--was evidently not yet known to Miles.
And Gertrude was Lord Sandilands' daughter? That was a surprise to Gilbert. That the old nobleman would have adopted her, and made her his heiress, Lloyd had expected; but the thought that she was his natural daughter had never suggested itself to him. Ah, what an infernal fool he had been! All these years he had been congratulating himself on his good fortune, and now he found he had been merely running after the shadow and neglecting the substance. What a dolt25 he had been to allow Gertrude to leave him at all! He might have lived on her in a princely manner--first on the money which she made by her profession, and secondly26 by properly working this secret of her relationship to Lord Sandilands. And now he had lost all!
His time was come, he thought. Venit summa dies et ineluctabile fatum!That line remained haunting his brain. He felt that matters were closing round him very rapidly. What was that he had read in Lord Sandilands' letter about that cursed Brighton business with Harvey Gore27? He could not distinctly recollect28; he would read the letter again. He turned round to look for it; it was nowhere to be found.
He hunted for it high and low; searched every portion of the room again and again; examined, as people will do in the desperation of such circumstances, the most impossible places. He did not like to ask Mrs. Jobson about it. If she had seen it her curiosity might have been aroused; she might have read it, and then--At length he rang his bell, and Mrs. Jobson appeared; and Gilbert saw in an instant by her face that whatever might have happened she had not read the letter.
"When you were good enough to come to my assistance just now, Mrs. Jobson, when I had that little attack, did you happen to see an open letter lying about?" said Gilbert.
"A letter, sir?" said Mrs. Jobson dubiously29; "there were no letter that I saw, 'cept the one in your hand."
"In my hand?"
"Clinched30 tight up, as was both your fists, so that I could hardly uncrook your fingers; and in one of 'em there wasa letter all squeezed up."
"That must have been it. What did you do with it?"
"Put it on to the table by the window, just as it might be there," said Mrs. Jobson, taking an exact aim, and marking a particular spot on the table with her finger.
"It's no good looking there," said Gilbert testily--for Mrs. Jobson still kept peering on the table, as though she expected to see the letter swim up to the surface through the wood--"it's not there. What can have become of it?"
"Well, now I recollect," said Mrs. Jobson slowly, "that I thought you would be all the better for a puff31 of fresh air, so I opened the window, and the paper might have blowed out."
"Good God, woman, what have you done!" cried Gilbert, starting up and rushing towards the street, pushing past Mrs. Jobson, who this time began to be seriously alarmed, thinking her lodger was going out of his mind.
The street was tolerably empty when Gilbert Lloyd reached it. There is not much doing in Duke-street, St. James's, in the month of September--a slack season, when even the livery-stable-keepers' helpers are probably out of town, and there were but few people about to express surprise at seeing a gentleman fly out of a house, and begin searching the pavement and the kennel32 with intense anxiety and perseverance33. In the season, a dozen young gutter-bloods, street-boys, would have been round him in a moment, all aiding in the search for an unknown something, the probable finding of which, if seen, would bring them a few coppers34, the possible stealing of which, unseen, might fill their pockets. But on this calm September morning a Jew clothesman going his rounds, the servant of a lodging-house opposite, and an elderly-gentleman lodger, who never went out of town, and who in the winter never got out of bed, and who at the then moment was calmly looking on at Lloyd's proceedings35 as at a show, were all the spectators of the hunt for the missing paper, in which none of them evinced anything but the most cursory36 interest.
Not so the seeker. He hunted up and down, poked37 in wind-swept corners, peered down rusty38 gratings, seemed to have at one time a vague idea of following the chase up the livery-stableman's yard, and glared at the barrel swinging in mid-air from the crane outside the oilman's warehouse-door, as though it might have sucked up the precious document. He must have it, Gilbert Lloyd kept repeating to himself; he must have it. But he could not find it, and at the end of an hour's search he returned to the house, worn out with fatigue39, and in a state of feverish40 anxiety.
If it had blown out of the window, as the woman had suggested, into the street--and the probabilities were that it had done so--somebody must have picked it up. There was no wet or mud to discolour the paper or efface41 the writing; it was a peculiar42 and striking-looking letter, and anyone finding it would doubtless read it through. If such had been the case it was lost--irretrievably, for ever. Great beads43 of perspiration44 stood upon his pallid45 forehead as this notion flashed across him. His name headed the letter, the name of his accuser was signed at its foot, and its contents plainly set forth one attempted crime and hinted at the knowledge of another, which had been more than attempted, which had been carried into effect. Anyone reading this would see the whole state of affairs at a glance, would feel it incumbent46 on them to give information to the police, and--he was a dead man! What was that Lord Sandilands had said about further inquiries47 relative to Harvey Gore? Foxey had been doing his best to find out something definite in that quarter, and had failed; but then Lord Sandilands was a man of influence, with plenty of money, which he would not scruple48 to spend freely in any matter such as this. That made all the difference; they might succeed in tampering49 with that wretched doctor fellow, who plainly had had his suspicions--Gilbert had often recalled his expression about the rigor50 mortis--and there would be an end of it. Pshaw! what a fool he was! He passed his hand across his damp brow, sprang from the chair on which he had been sitting, and commenced pacing the room. An end of it? No, not yet. He had always had his own notion of how that end should be brought about, if the pressure upon him became unbearable51. Most men leading such precarious52 shifty lives have thus thought occasionally, and made odd resolves in regard to them. But there was hope yet. He was seedy, weak, and unhinged; a glass of brandy would set him all right, and then he would go off to Hill-street, look through the accounts, draw on the bankers to the uttermost farthing, and start for America. It was hard lines to leave town, where he had played the game so long and so successfully. However, that was all over, he should never play it any more, and so he might as well--better, much better--begin his new life in a fresh place.
He dressed himself, got into a cab, and drove to Hill-street. The house had been left in charge of some of those wonderful people who occupy houses during the temporary absence of their legitimate53 owners; but when Gilbert rang the bell the door was opened, to his intense surprise, by Martin, Lord Ticehurst's valet, whom he had left behind with his lordship at Baden.
"You here, Martin!" said Lloyd with an astonishment54 mingled55 with an uncomfortable sensation which he could not conceal56. "Why, when did you arrive, and what has brought you?"
"Arrived last night, sir," said Martin with a jaunty57 air, very different from his usual respectful bearing. "Came by his lordship's orders."
"By his lordship's orders?" echoed Lloyd. "That was rather sudden, wasn't it?"
"Yes, sir; very sudden, sir; done all in a hurry, sir; after a long talk with Mr. Clarke the lawyer, sir."
"With Mr. Clarke, eh?" again echoed Lloyd, feeling more and more uncomfortable. "Well, no matter; it's all right, I suppose. Just come up to my room and tell me all about it;" and he was passing on into the house.
"Beg pardon, sir," said Martin, placing himself before him and barring the way; "beg pardon, sir, but you're not to come in; his lordship's orders, sir."
"Not to come in!" cried Lloyd, white with passion; "what the devil do you mean?"
"Just what I say, sir," replied Martin, with perfect coolness; "his lordship's orders, sir; last words he said to me. Got a note here for you, sir. Lordship said if you was here I was to give it you at once; if you wasn't, I wasn't to trouble about finding you until you came here."
"Give it here!" said Lloyd savagely58; and Martin dived in his pocket, fetched out the note, and handed it to him with a polite bow. It was in Ticehurst's unformed round schoolboy hand, which Gilbert knew so well; was very short, but very much to the purpose. It said that Lord Ticehurst had given orders that Mr. Lloyd should be denied access to the house in Hill-street; the question of accounts between them could be gone into on Lord Ticehurst's return from the Continent, which would be in the course of the ensuing week. Lord Ticehurst would remain a couple of days in London on his way to his place in Sussex, and would devote those days to settling all matters with Mr. Lloyd. It would be advisable, in the mean time, that Mr. Lloyd should draw no cheques on the account hitherto open to his signature at Lord Ticehurst's bankers, as Lord Ticehurst had given instructions to his bankers to close that account so far as Mr. Lloyd was concerned.
"That's that infernal Clarke's doing," said Gilbert to himself; "Etchingham's writing, certainly, but Clark's suggestion and dictation; Etchingham would not have thought of the idea, and could not have expressed it half so succinctly59. There's a chance yet. That order to the bankers could not have been sent by telegram. They would not have risked that. Perhaps I'm in time.--Martin, did you bring any other letters to England?"
"Yes, sir; one from his lordship to Messrs. Tilley and Shoveller. Delivered it at the bank at nine this morning, sir."
"Thanks; I'll write to his lordship. Good-day, Martin." He saw the man bow ironically and stick his tongue in his cheek, but he took no notice. He turned round, but had to make an effort to gather all his strength together and walk away without staggering. The pavement surged up in front of him; the houses on either side threatened to topple over him. When he got out of sight of the valet still lingering at the door, he stopped, and leaned against some railings to recover himself.
It was all over, then! The last chance had been tried, and failed. A day sooner, and he could have carried out his notion of drawing on the bankers and escaping to America. That accursed couple--his wife and his brother--had been against him in that, as well as in all his other misfortunes lately. If he had not waited for that answer from Gertrude,--that answer which, when it came, filled him with so much anxiety,--he would have gone to Hill-street on the previous day, before Martin had arrived, have drawn60 his cheques, and made all square. Curses on them both! That letter from Gertrude--from Lord Sandilands rather--this last business in Hill-street had driven from his mind; but the thought of it now returned in tenfold agony. It was lost, with all its terrible accusations61! Had been found and read, and was probably now in the hands of the police. And he had no means for providing for flight. The few pounds in his purse were all he possessed62 in the world. He should be taken, and have to die on the scaffold! No, not that; he knew a better trick than that yet.
Once again he had to stop. His legs failed him; his head was burning; he felt his heart beating with loud thick throbs63. A dizziness came over him, and it needed all his strength to prevent himself from falling. After a minute or two he felt a little relieved. He called a cab, and was driven to his club. The porter was away from his post, and his deputy, one of the page-boys, failed to recognise the dashing Mr. Lloyd in the pallid man who passed him with unsteady gait, and asked him for his name. He went into the deserted64 coffee-room, swallowed a glass of brandy, which revived him, then made his way to the writing-room, and wrote a note. It was to a sporting acquaintance of his, who happened at the time to be house-surgeon to one of our largest hospitals, and ran as follows:
"Private..
"Dear Pattle--A nag65 that has carried my lord (and master) for ten years has become past work, and is dangerous to ride. But his l'ship won't give him up, and some day he'll get his neck broken for his pains. To prevent this I want to put the poor beast quietly out of the way, and I can't trust our vet66., who is a blab. Nor do I want to buy any 'stuff' at a chemist's, as, if anything came of it, and it got wind, chemist might peach. Can you manage to send me a small bottle of strychnine by bearer? Do so; and the next good thing that comes off, you shall stand in with the profit. Keep it dark..
"Yours,
"GILBERT LLOYD."
"That's vague enough," said Lloyd, as he read the letter before placing it in an envelope. "But Pattle's a great ass5; he'll be flattered to think he is helping67 my Lord Ticehurst's 'confederate,' and he'll have a dim idea that there's a chance of making some money--quite enough to make him do it." And Gilbert was right. He stopped the cab outside the hospital, and sent in the note. Within five minutes the porter appeared at the door with a parcel, which he handed in "With Mr. Pattle's compliments," and with which Lloyd drove off to his lodgings68.
His haggard looks on alighting alarmed Mrs. Jobson, who expressed a hope that he had been to see a doctor. This gave him the opportunity for making an explanation which he had been seeking to bring about, as he came along in the cab. He told the worthy69 landlady that he had consulted his physician, who told him that the attacks, one of which she had been a witness to, were highly dangerous, and that every means should be taken to check them. With this view the doctor had recommended him, if he felt one coming on, as was not unlikely, judging from the present deranged70 state of his health, to take a slight quantity of the medicine which he prescribed for him, and which would give him instant relief. Upon which Mrs. Jobson remarked that of course the doctors knew best. She did not herself "hold with" sedatives71, confessing at the same time that her experience as regarded their application was confined to certain interesting cases, in which she looked upon the taking of them as flying in the face of Providence72, which would not have sent pain if it was not meant to be endured.
Gilbert Lloyd retired73 to his room, and did not see his landlady again until about nine o'clock that evening, when he sent for her to tell her that he felt a renewal74 of the symptoms of his attack, that he should at once get to bed, and that he begged he might not be disturbed. This Mrs. Jobson promised, and took her leave. When she was gone Gilbert opened his despatch-box, and commenced the following letter:
"My Dear Lord--You tell me you hear that my relations with Lord Ticehurst are at an end, and you ask me if I will undertake the management of your stud, and personally supervise your affairs. I need scarcely say that I am highly flattered by the proposal, thus repeated, I believe, for the third time. At present, however, I must, in all respect, decline to entertain it. I have been so far lucky that my circumstances are such as to prevent any necessity for my doing any more work for the remainder of my life, while my state of health, especially during the last few weeks, peremptorily75 forbids my doing anything but nurse myself for some time to--"
Here he finished abruptly76, leaving the sheet on the blotting-pad, by the side of the open, despatch-box.
"They'll not be able to get over that," he said with a shudder77; "and the woman's testimony78 will be concurrent79. It's an odd thing that a man who can do it should care about what people say of him after it's done."
He shuddered80 again as from his dressing-case he took a small phial of medicine which he had purchased at a chemist's for the purpose, and from the drawer in which he had locked it the strychnine-bottle, and placed them side by side on the table. He then leisurely81 undressed himself, turned the bedclothes back, and rumpled82 the bed to give it the appearance of having been slept in; then he extinguished the light, took the phial of strychnine in his hand, lifted it to his mouth, drained it, and with one convulsive spring managed to throw himself on the bed.
"And he's quite gone, sir?" inquired weeping Mrs. Jobson the next morning of the doctor who had been hastily summoned.
"Gone, madam!" said the doctor, who was a snuffy Scotchman of the old school--"he's as dad as Jullius C?sar. And this is another case o' the meschief of unauthorised parsons doctorin' themsalves and takkin' medicines in the dark."
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1
vehemently
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| adv. 热烈地 | |
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recurrence
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| n.复发，反复，重现 | |
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seizure
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| n.没收；占有；抵押 | |
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necessitated
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| 使…成为必要，需要( necessitate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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ass
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| n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人 | |
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lodger
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| n.寄宿人，房客 | |
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spurt
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| v.喷出；突然进发；突然兴隆 | |
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landlady
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| n.女房东，女地主 | |
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impending
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| a.imminent, about to come or happen | |
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banishment
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| n.放逐，驱逐 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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wilderness
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| n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等，荒漠 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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confided
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| v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的过去式和过去分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
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alluded
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| 提及，暗指( allude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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bland
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| adj.淡而无味的，温和的，无刺激性的 | |
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dishonour
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| n./vt.拒付（支票、汇票、票据等）；vt.凌辱，使丢脸；n.不名誉，耻辱，不光彩 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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sufficiently
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hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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intercourse
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| n.性交；交流，交往，交际 | |
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humiliation
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| n.羞辱 | |
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desperately
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| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
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dolt
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secondly
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| adv.第二，其次 | |
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gore
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| n.凝血，血污；v.（动物）用角撞伤，用牙刺破；缝以补裆；顶 | |
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recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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dubiously
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| adv.可疑地，怀疑地 | |
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clinched
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| v.（尤指两人）互相紧紧抱[扭]住( clinch的过去式和过去分词 )；解决（争端、交易），达成（协议） | |
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puff
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| n.一口(气)；一阵(风)；v.喷气，喘气 | |
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kennel
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| n.狗舍，狗窝 | |
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perseverance
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| n.坚持不懈，不屈不挠 | |
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coppers
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| 铜( copper的名词复数 )； 铜币 | |
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proceedings
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| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
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cursory
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| adj.粗略的；草率的；匆促的 | |
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poked
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| v.伸出( poke的过去式和过去分词 )；戳出；拨弄；与（某人）性交 | |
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rusty
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| adj.生锈的；锈色的；荒废了的 | |
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fatigue
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| n.疲劳，劳累 | |
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feverish
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| adj.发烧的，狂热的，兴奋的 | |
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efface
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| v.擦掉，抹去 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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beads
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| n.（空心）小珠子( bead的名词复数 )；水珠；珠子项链 | |
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perspiration
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| n.汗水；出汗 | |
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pallid
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| adj.苍白的，呆板的 | |
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incumbent
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| adj.成为责任的，有义务的；现任的，在职的 | |
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inquiries
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| n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 )；疑问；探究；打听 | |
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scruple
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| n./v.顾忌，迟疑 | |
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tampering
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| v.窜改( tamper的现在分词 )；篡改；（用不正当手段）影响；瞎摆弄 | |
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50
rigor
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| n.严酷，严格，严厉 | |
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51
unbearable
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| adj.不能容忍的；忍受不住的 | |
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precarious
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| adj.不安定的，靠不住的；根据不足的 | |
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53
legitimate
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| adj.合法的，合理的，合乎逻辑的；v.使合法 | |
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54
astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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jaunty
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| adj．愉快的，满足的；adv.心满意足地，洋洋得意地；n.心满意足；洋洋得意 | |
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savagely
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| adv. 野蛮地，残酷地 | |
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succinctly
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| adv.简洁地；简洁地，简便地 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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accusations
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| n.指责( accusation的名词复数 )；指控；控告；（被告发、控告的）罪名 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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throbs
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| 体内的跳动( throb的名词复数 ) | |
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deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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nag
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| v.(对…)不停地唠叨；n.爱唠叨的人 | |
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vet
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| n.兽医，退役军人；vt.检查 | |
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helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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lodgings
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| n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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deranged
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| adj.疯狂的 | |
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sedatives
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| n.镇静药，镇静剂( sedative的名词复数 ) | |
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providence
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| n.深谋远虑，天道，天意；远见；节约；上帝 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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renewal
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| adj.(契约)延期，续订，更新，复活，重来 | |
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peremptorily
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| adv.紧急地，不容分说地，专横地 | |
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abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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shudder
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| v.战粟，震动，剧烈地摇晃；n.战粟，抖动 | |
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testimony
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| n.证词；见证，证明 | |
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concurrent
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| adj.同时发生的，一致的 | |
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shuddered
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| v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
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leisurely
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| adj.悠闲的；从容的，慢慢的 | |
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rumpled
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| v.弄皱，使凌乱( rumple的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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