Every year, toward the end of November, Betty Masterman had been accustomed to receive an invitation to spend Christmas at Clyst Fullerford. This year, to her surprise, she received a long, carefully-worded letter in Mollie's childish handwriting: a letter which contained the unusual suggestion that Mollie should spend Christmas with her. "My dear," wrote the girl, "I simply daren't ask you down here. It's too utterly1 dull for words."
Betty, nothing if not extravagant2, wired back an immediate3 answer; and met her friend, two days before Christmas eve, in the holiday bustle4 at Waterloo station.
"Mollie," greeted the grass-widow, "you look like a ghost. What on earth's happened to you since the summer?"
But it was not until Betty's "daily woman" had completed her hasty washing up of the dinner things, and they sat alone in front of the gas-fire in the little red-papered sitting-room5, that Mollie answered the question.
"Betty dear," she said, puffing6 a vague cigarette. "I'm feeling too rotten for words. Nothing seems to go right with me these days."
Betty's experienced eyes sparkled with laughter. "Give sorrow words," she quoted chaffingly; and then, a note of seriousness in her voice, "What's the trouble? The sister or the Wilberforce man?"
"You've heard something then?"
"Only gossip." The other trod carefully. "But of course I'm not quite a fool. I thought when you came rushing round here from Lancaster Gate that something must have gone pretty wrong."
"Everything's gone wrong." Mollie repeated the inevitable7 slogan, of post-war youth, "Everything. You remember Ronald Cavendish----"
"I've met him once or twice."
"Well, Alie's run away from Hector----"
"And run away to Cavendish."
"You did know then?"
"My dear, everybody knows." Betty considered the position. "Still, that's their affair, isn't it? Why should you worry about it? There'll be a divorce, I suppose, and after that they'll get married."
"That's just the trouble."
"How do you mean?"
"Apparently8, Hector's refused to divorce Alie."
"Oh!"
Mollie Fullerford blushed. Her reticent11 virginity revolted from the idea of confessing herself, to Betty, in love with James Wilberforce. Yet that she was in love with the man, most uncomfortably in love with him, Mollie knew. Despite all her efforts to maintain the pose of the modern young, the pose of cold-blooded mate-selection, she had failed as lamentably12 as most others of her kind to control nature. Nature and the modern creed13 refused to be reconciled. She realized now that she wanted--exclusively--James. She wanted to belong to him; she wanted him to belong to her; she wanted him--and no other--to father her children.
That last thought rekindled14 Mollie's blushes. Succeed as she might in curbing15 her tongue, she could not curb16 her feelings. She fell to wondering if Jimmy would ask her to marry him, to speculating whether, even if their friendship so abruptly17 broken off should be renewed (as she had subconsciously18 hoped it would be renewed when she invited herself to London), whether, even if Jimmy did ask her to marry him, she would be capable of sacrificing Aliette. Would she not be forced to make conditions--conditions that no man in Jimmy's position could possibly accept? Would she not be forced to say: "If I marry you, you'll have to let me receive my sister and my sister's lover"?
"How about the Wilberforce man?" Betty's words interrupted reverie. "Does he know you're in town?"
"Yes," admitted Mollie.
"You still write to each other then?"
"Only occasionally."
"My dear, how exciting! When did you hear from him last?"
But at that Aliette's sister broke off the conversation with a wry19 "Betty, I simply won't be cross-examined."
"You needn't get ratty, dear thing," retorted the grass-widow. "I don't want to pry20 into your secrets. But"--she rustled21 up from her chair, and made a movement to begin undressing--"if he should write that he's coming to see you, for goodness' sake try and make yourself look a little less of a 'patient Griselda.' What about face-massage? I know a man in Sloane Street who's simply wonderful!"
2
Aliette, whom Mollie visited next day, was even more shocked than Betty Masterman at the change in her sister's appearance. The girl seemed utterly altered, utterly different from the fancy-free maiden22 of Moor23 Park. She came into the connubial24 room nervously25; almost forgot to kiss; entirely26 forgot to inquire after Ronnie; refused to take off her hat, and sat down on the edge of the hard sofa gingerly as though it had been an omnibus seat.
"Rather awful, isn't it?" Aliette, with a comprehensive glance at her surroundings, broke the social ice. "You mustn't mind."
"I don't mind. But it is rather awful." A pause. "I suppose you had to do it, Alie?"
"Do what? Come and live here?"
"No. The whole thing." Aliette did not answer, and her sister went on. "I wish you hadn't had to. It's been simply rotten at home. Mother and dad----" She broke off, biting her lip. "They aren't so bad really; it's Eva who's putrid27."
"Eva never did like either of us."
For the first time in their lives, the sisters felt shy with one another. Caroline Staley, entering, broad-hipped, a smile on her full lips and a tea-tray in her large hands, noticed the tension.
"My, Miss Mollie!" ejaculated the tactful Caroline, "but you aren't looking yourself at all. You ought to take that hat off and lie down awhile."
Tea relaxed the tension; but made intimate conversation no easier. Between them and their old intimacy28 rose--as it seemed--insurmountable barriers. It was Mollie who, involuntarily, pulled those barriers down.
"I say," she asked abruptly, "isn't Hector going to do anything?"
"I'm afraid not."
"Doesn't it make you frightfully unhappy?"
"Only for Ronnie's sake."
Mollie did her best to restrain indignation. Woman-like, she could not help blaming Ronnie for the whole occurrence. Girl-like, she could not quite divine the immensity of passion behind her sister's steady eyes; till, somehow infected by that passion, her thoughts veered29 to James. Suppose James had been married. Married to a lunatic, say, or a drunkard? Tied to some rotten wife, for instance, a wife who made him unhappy? Suppose that James had said to her, "Mollie, let's cut the painter"?
"Alie," she said, "I ought to have come up to town before. I oughtn't to have left you alone all this time. I'm afraid I've been"--she faltered--"rather a beast about the whole thing."
"You haven't." Aliette came across to the sofa, and took her sister's hand. "It's been simply wonderful of you to forgive our thoughtlessness, our lack of consideration----"
"Oh, that!" interrupted Mollie. "I wasn't thinking about that." She fell silent; and again, to her contrite mind, the romance of Aliette and Ronnie assumed a personal significance.
So this was love--thought the girl--the real thing! Love without orange-blossom, without wedding-presents. Love so gloriously reckless of material considerations that it could exist in and defy the most sordid31 surroundings, the completest ostracism32 from one's kind.
"It's you who are wonderful," said Mollie.
And all that afternoon, as conversation grew easier between them, as she learned from a hesitant Aliette of the real Hector and the real Ronnie, of the snubs one had to put up with, and of the sympathy which was even harder than the snubs to bear, of the petty, almost indecent economies to be anticipated now that Ronnie's professional income looked like failing (soon it might be necessary to sacrifice Ponto, whose board and lodging33 at a near-by stable cost fifteen shillings a week), the girl, continually testing her own affection for James on the touchstone of Aliette's love for Ronnie, could not but find it a little lacking in that spirit of service which is truest comradeship.
"But where is Ronnie?" she asked, as they kissed au revoir.
"With his mother, I expect," smiled Aliette. "He said, when you phoned last night, that we'd probably like to be alone."
3
"Rather decent of Cavendish, leaving us alone like that," thought Mollie, waiting--befurred to the eyes--on the drafty platform at Baron's Court station.
Strangely affected34 by her sister's revelations, she found herself as the train got under way--comparing Ronnie with James; not, she had to admit, entirely to James's advantage.
It was all very well--went on thought--being in love with James, but why should one be in love with James? One ought to be jolly angry with the man. Taking it all round, he had behaved disgracefully. James had "shied off" because he couldn't face a little scandal; had written the coldest, unfriendliest letters.
"James, in fact," decided35 the girl, "doesn't care a button for me, and I'm a little fool to let myself care for him."
But when, arrived at the flat, Betty Masterman, with a malicious36 pout37 of her red lips, imparted the news that "the Wilberforce man" had rung up to suggest himself for tea on the following afternoon, Mollie Fullerford's mental dignity gave way to an ardor38 of anticipation39 which made her feel--as she expressed it to herself just before falling asleep--"a perfect little idiot"; and when, next afternoon--to all outward appearances his undisturbed self--Jimmy was heralded40 into the sitting-room, the girl felt extraordinarily41 grateful to the "man in Sloane Street" under whose ministrations she had spent the morning.
All the same, she felt uncommonly42 nervous. Watching her James as he arranged his long bulk in the most comfortable of the three chairs, handing him his tea, listening to the easy flow of small talk between him and Betty, Mollie found it impossible to realize that this could be the creature about whose physical and mental qualities her imagination had woven its tissue of dreams. That he and she were participators in a tragic43 romance; that if he asked her to marry him (and she knew subconsciously, even though consciously denying the possibility, that he would ask her) she would have to refuse--seemed possibilities connected rather with the heroine of some magazine story than with her own demure44 self.
Tea finished, Betty made the telephone in her bedroom an excuse to leave the pair alone; clicked the door on them; and pattered away in her high-heeled shoes.
"You're not looking as well as you were when I saw you last," managed Wilberforce, after a minute's self-conscious silence.
"Aren't I?" Mollie would have given a good deal to run away from him, to run after Betty.
"No. You haven't been ill or anything, have you?"
"Ill!" She forced a smile to her lips. "Rather not. I've been quite all right."
They gazed at each other. Then, abruptly, Jimmy said:
"Mollie, what's happened to us?"
"Yes; to you and me." The man paused, plunged46 in. "We were such frightfully good pals47 last summer, and now it seems as though"--another pause--"we don't hit things off a bit."
"Is that my fault or yours?" There was scarcely a hint of their old camaraderie48 in the girl's sulky voice.
"Mine, I suppose," he sulked back.
"Well, isn't it?" she shot at him; and at that all the self-realizations, all the heart-searchings and heart-burnings in James Wilberforce blew to one bright point of clear flame, melting his reserve as the blow-pipe melts cast iron.
"Mollie," he blurted49 out, "you know how I hate beating about the bush. Let's be open with one another. Let's admit that something has happened." He leaned forward in his chair, both hands on his knees. "But you aren't going to let that something make any difference, are you?"
His method irritated her to abruptness50.
"You are beating about the bush, Jimmy. Why not be straight?"
"I'm trying to be straight." His hands clenched51. "But it's jolly difficult. You see, there are some things that--well, that one doesn't discuss with girls."
"Isn't that rather rot nowadays?" retorted Mollie, hating herself for the slang.
"I don't think it's rot. I think there are a good many subjects a man doesn't want to discuss with--with a girl he--er--cares about."
"Then he does care," thought Mollie; and felt her heart leap to the thought. Outwardly she made pretense52 of considering his sentence; her brows crinkled. Inwardly she pretended herself still vexed53 with him. She said to herself, "He mustn't see that I care. He must be taught his lesson."
"You're a bit old-fashioned, aren't you, Jimmy?" she prevaricated54 at last.
"Perhaps I am." Affection made him suddenly the schoolboy. "But it's devilish awkward, isn't it; this--this business about your sister?"
"Awkward!" Mollie's loyalty55 stiffened56 her to discard prevarication57. "I don't think it's awkward. I think it's jolly rough luck on Aliette and Mr. Cavendish. Hector knows perfectly58 well they'd get married if he'd only set her free. I think Hector's a cad. Alie told him everything before she went. He knows jolly well she'll never go back to him. Why should she? A man doesn't own a woman for ever and ever just because he happens to marry her."
The speech roused Jimmy to an unwonted height of imagination. He saw himself marrying Mollie, quarreling with Mollie; saw Mollie running away from him, as Aliette had run away from Hector.
"So if you married a man, you wouldn't consider yourself tied to him for life?"
"Certainly not. Not if he didn't behave decently."
The girl's eyes were brave enough, but a shiver of apprehension59 ran through her body. She thought: "He couldn't care for anybody who said that sort of thing to him." Jimmy seemed to be considering her statement, weighing it up. It came to her instinctively60 that they were at the crisis of their lives.
"Why, then"--she could feel herself shivering, shivering from the soles of her feet to the roots of her bobbed hair--"then--there wouldn't be any need for me to run away from him."
Their eyes met; brown eyes searching violet. Their eyes lit with mutual62 understanding. Self-consciousness deserted63 her; deserted them both. She was conscious of him--close to her--seizing her hands--speaking rapidly, unrestrainedly:
"I've been a rotter--an absolute rotter, darling. I ought to have warned you the moment I found out. I ought to have told you that it didn't make any difference. It hasn't, it can't make any difference, not the slightest difference. Nothing that your sister may have done, may do, can affect us one way or the other. It's you I want to marry, not your sister."
"Jimmy!"
He was conscious of his arms round her--of his lips on hers--of her yielding to his kisses--returning them.
The gush64 of Jimmy's passion, of her own, frightened the girl. Somehow she freed herself from his kisses; and stood upright, tremulous, blushing a little, stammering65 a little, altogether incoherent.
"Jimmy, you mustn't, you oughtn't to. It isn't fair to me. It's not fair to Alie."
"What's she got to do with it?" Mollie could see the big vein66 on her lover's forehead throb67 to each syllable68. "What's she got to do with us?"
"Everything." For a moment the girl felt herself the stronger. "Everything. It isn't fair. Can't you see why it isn't fair? How can I marry you?" Her voice broke. "How can I take my happiness while Alie's an outcast? She is an outcast. You wouldn't, you couldn't let her come to our wedding."
"Then you care for your sister more than you care for me?" interrupted Wilberforce, shirking the issue.
"I don't! I don't!" Strength had gone out of Mollie; she felt herself weak, incapable69. "It isn't that. It isn't that a bit. Only I can't take my happiness while Alie's miserable70. She is miserable, though she won't admit it. Don't you see how rotten it would be of me if I married you--with things as they are?"
"No, I don't." Her recalcitrance71 angered him.
"You must. Jimmy," softly, "you do want me to be happy with you, don't you?"
"Of course I want you to be happy with me." His anger relented. "I'd do anything in the world to make you happy."
"Would you, dear?"
"Rather. Only tell me what it is."
"It's only Alie." Loyalty strung her to the sacrifice. "Only Alie. Can't you do something for her? You're a lawyer; you know how these things are managed. Oh, do, please do something to help her, to help"--the young voice dwindled72 to a whisper--"to help both of us. Jimmy, I do want to marry you. I want to marry you most awfully73. But I simply can't even promise to marry you with things as they are. It wouldn't be decent of me. Honestly it wouldn't. It wouldn't be decent of either of us. It wouldn't be playing the game."
"You really mean that, Mollie?"
"Yes, I really mean it."
"And if I could manage to do anything?"
"If you only could"--she smiled into his eyes--"there wouldn't be a thing in the world to keep us apart."
Jimmy took the girl in his arms; and again she let herself answer his kisses. "I'll move heaven and earth and the lord chancellor," vowed75 James Wilberforce to that sleek76 bobbed head.
4
Betty Masterman, returning, dressed for some mysterious dinner, on the stroke of seven, found a Mollie who could not decide herself happy or unhappy; a Mollie whose lips still tingled77 from her lover's kisses--but whose eyes still shone with the tears shed in loyalty to her sister.
点击
收听单词发音
收听单词发音 |
1
utterly
|
|
| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
extravagant
|
|
| adj.奢侈的；过分的；(言行等)放肆的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
immediate
|
|
| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
bustle
|
|
| v.喧扰地忙乱，匆忙，奔忙；n.忙碌；喧闹 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
sitting-room
|
|
| n.（BrE）客厅，起居室 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
puffing
|
|
| v.使喷出( puff的现在分词 )；喷着汽（或烟）移动；吹嘘；吹捧 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
inevitable
|
|
| adj.不可避免的，必然发生的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
apparently
|
|
| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
mellow
|
|
| adj.柔和的；熟透的；v.变柔和；(使)成熟 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
pal
|
|
| n.朋友，伙伴，同志；vi.结为友 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
reticent
|
|
| adj.沉默寡言的；言不如意的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
lamentably
|
|
| adv.哀伤地，拙劣地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
creed
|
|
| n.信条；信念，纲领 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
rekindled
|
|
| v.使再燃( rekindle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
curbing
|
|
| n.边石，边石的材料v.限制，克制，抑制( curb的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
curb
|
|
| n.场外证券市场，场外交易；vt.制止，抑制 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
abruptly
|
|
| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
subconsciously
|
|
| ad.下意识地，潜意识地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
wry
|
|
| adj.讽刺的；扭曲的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
pry
|
|
| vi.窥(刺)探，打听；vt.撬动(开，起) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
rustled
|
|
| v.发出沙沙的声音( rustle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
maiden
|
|
| n.少女，处女；adj.未婚的，纯洁的，无经验的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
moor
|
|
| n.荒野，沼泽；vt.(使)停泊；vi.停泊 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
connubial
|
|
| adj.婚姻的，夫妇的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
nervously
|
|
| adv.神情激动地，不安地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
entirely
|
|
| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
putrid
|
|
| adj.腐臭的；有毒的；已腐烂的；卑劣的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
intimacy
|
|
| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
veered
|
|
| v.（尤指交通工具）改变方向或路线( veer的过去式和过去分词 )；（指谈话内容、人的行为或观点）突然改变；（指风） （在北半球按顺时针方向、在南半球按逆时针方向）逐渐转向；风向顺时针转 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
contrite
|
|
| adj.悔悟了的，后悔的，痛悔的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
sordid
|
|
| adj.肮脏的，不干净的，卑鄙的，暗淡的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
ostracism
|
|
| n.放逐；排斥 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
lodging
|
|
| n.寄宿，住所；(大学生的)校外宿舍 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
affected
|
|
| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
decided
|
|
| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
malicious
|
|
| adj.有恶意的，心怀恶意的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
pout
|
|
| v.撅嘴；绷脸；n.撅嘴；生气，不高兴 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
38
ardor
|
|
| n.热情，狂热 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
39
anticipation
|
|
| n.预期，预料，期望 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
40
heralded
|
|
| v.预示( herald的过去式和过去分词 )；宣布（好或重要） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
41
extraordinarily
|
|
| adv.格外地；极端地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
42
uncommonly
|
|
| adv. 稀罕(极，非常) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
43
tragic
|
|
| adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
44
demure
|
|
| adj.严肃的；端庄的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
45
queried
|
|
| v.质疑，对…表示疑问( query的过去式和过去分词 )；询问 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
46
plunged
|
|
| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
47
pals
|
|
| n.朋友( pal的名词复数 )；老兄；小子；（对男子的不友好的称呼）家伙 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
48
camaraderie
|
|
| n.同志之爱，友情 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
49
blurted
|
|
| v.突然说出，脱口而出( blurt的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
50
abruptness
|
|
| n. 突然，唐突 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
51
clenched
|
|
| v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
52
pretense
|
|
| n.矫饰，做作，借口 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
53
vexed
|
|
| adj.争论不休的；（指问题等）棘手的；争论不休的问题；烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
54
prevaricated
|
|
| v.支吾( prevaricate的过去式和过去分词 )；搪塞；说谎 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
|
55
loyalty
|
|
| n.忠诚，忠心 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
56
stiffened
|
|
| 加强的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
57
prevarication
|
|
| n.支吾；搪塞；说谎；有枝有叶 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
58
perfectly
|
|
| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
59
apprehension
|
|
| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
60
instinctively
|
|
| adv.本能地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
61
fraught
|
|
| adj.充满…的，伴有(危险等)的；忧虑的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
62
mutual
|
|
| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
63
deserted
|
|
| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
64
gush
|
|
| v.喷，涌；滔滔不绝(说话)；n.喷，涌流；迸发 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
65
stammering
|
|
| v.结巴地说出( stammer的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
66
vein
|
|
| n.血管，静脉；叶脉，纹理；情绪；vt.使成脉络 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
67
throb
|
|
| v.震颤，颤动；(急速强烈地)跳动，搏动 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
68
syllable
|
|
| n.音节；vt.分音节 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
69
incapable
|
|
| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
70
miserable
|
|
| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
71
recalcitrance
|
|
| n.固执，顽抗 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
72
dwindled
|
|
| v.逐渐变少或变小( dwindle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
73
awfully
|
|
| adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
74
hostility
|
|
| n.敌对，敌意；抵制［pl.］交战，战争 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
75
vowed
|
|
| 起誓，发誓（vow的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
76
sleek
|
|
| adj.光滑的，井然有序的；v.使光滑，梳拢 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
77
tingled
|
|
| v.有刺痛感( tingle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |