CHAPTER XI. "WILL YOU MAKE ME VERY HAPPY?"

 I rose early next morning, and without waiting for my breakfast, ran downstairs, made Pasquale, the vague servant, open the door for me, and I escaped into the sunshine.

 

In the long and troubled night just passed I had come to a resolution—I would go home.

 

From first to last, I told myself, the experiment had been a failure. From first to last I had been out of touch with the people with whom I had come to dwell; the almost undisguised hostility¹ of the last few days was merely the culmination² of a growing feeling.

 

In that atmosphere of suspicion, of disapprobation, I could exist no longer. Defeated, indeed, but in no wise disgraced, I would return whence I came. I would tell them everything at home, and they would understand.

 

[Pg 99]

 

That I had committed some mysterious breach³ of Italian etiquette⁴, outraged⁵ some notion of Italian propriety⁶, I could not doubt; but at least I had been guilty of nothing of which, judged by my own standard, I could feel ashamed.

 

But my heart was very heavy as I sped on through the streets, instinctively⁷ making my way to the cathedral.

 

It was the second week in March, and the spring was full upon us. The grass in the piazza⁸ smelt⁹ of clover, and here and there on the brown hills was the flush of blossoming peach or the snow of flowering almonds.

 

In the soft light of the morning, cathedral, tower, and baptistery seemed steeped in a divine calm. Their beauty filled me with a great sadness. They were my friends; I had grown to love them, and now I was leaving them, perhaps for ever.

 

Pacing up and down, and round about, I tried to fix my thoughts on my plans, to consider with calmness my course of action. But this was the upshot of all my endeavours, the one ridiculous irrelevant¹⁰ conclusion at which I could arrive—"He is certainly not engaged to Costanza."

 

As I came round by the main door of the cathedral[Pg 100] for perhaps the twentieth time, I saw Andrea walking across the grass towards me.

 

A week ago, I had never seen his face; now as I watched him advancing in the sunlight, it seemed that I had known him all my life. Never was figure more familiar, never presence more reassuring¹¹, than that of this stranger. The sight of him neither disturbed nor astonished me; now that he was here, his coming seemed inevitable¹², part of the natural order of things.

 

"Ah, I have found you," he said quietly, and we turned together and strolled towards the Campo Santo.

 

"Do you often come here?" He stopped and looked at me dreamily.

 

"Often, often. It is all so beautiful and so sad."

 

"It is very sad."

 

"Do you not see how very beautiful it is?" I cried, "that there is nothing like it in the whole world? And I am leaving it, and it breaks my heart!"

 

"You are going away?"

 

"Yes." I was calm no longer, but strangely agitated¹³. I turned away, and began pacing to and fro.

 

"Ah! they have not made you happy?" His eyes flashed as he came up to me.

 

[Pg 101]

 

"No," I said, "I am not happy; but it is nobody's fault. They do not like me, and I cannot bear it any more. It has never happened to me before—no one has thought me very wonderful, very clever, very beautiful, very brilliant; but people have always liked me, and if I am not liked I shall die."

 

With which foolish outbreak—which astonished no one more than the speaker—I turned away again with streaming eyes.

 

"Let us come in here," said Andrea, still with that strange calm in voice and manner, and together we passed into the Campo Santo.

 

A bird was singing somewhere among the cypresses¹⁴; the daffodils rose golden in the grass; the strip of sky between the cloisters¹⁵ was intensely blue.

 

"Miss Meredith," said Andrea, taking my hand, "will you make me very happy—will you be my wife?"

 

We were standing¹⁶ in the grass-plot, face to face, and he was very pale.

 

His words seemed the most natural thing in the world. I ought, perhaps, to have made a protest, to have reminded him of family claims and dues, to have made sure that love, not chivalry¹⁷, was speaking.

 

[Pg 102]

 

But I only said, "Yes," very low, looking at him as we stood there among the tombs, under the blue heavens.

 

*         *         *         *         *         *

 

"As you came down the gallery, in the sunlight, with the little grey gown, and the frightened look in the modest eyes, I said to myself, 'Here, with the help of God, comes my wife!'"

 

I do not know how long we had been in the cloisters, pacing slowly, hand in hand, almost in silence. The sun was high in the heavens, and the bird in the cypresses sang no more.

 

"Do you know," cried Andrea, stopping suddenly, and laughing, "here is a most ridiculous thing! What is your name? for I haven't the ghost of an idea!"

 

"Elsie." I laughed, too. The joke struck us both as an excellent one.

 

"Elsie! Ah, the sweet name! Elsie, Elsie! Was ever such a dear little name? What shall we do next, Elsie, my friend?"

 

"Take me to the mountains!" I cried, suddenly aware that I was tired to exhaustion¹⁸, that I had had no sleep and no breakfast. "Take me to the[Pg 103] mountains; I have longed, longed for them all these days!"

 

I staggered a little, and closed my eyes.

 

When I opened them he was holding me in his arms, looking down anxiously at my face.

 

"Yes, we will go to the mountains; but first I shall take you home, and give you something to eat and drink, Elsie."

 

1 hostility   

n.敌对，敌意；抵制［pl.］交战，战争

参考例句：

• There is open hostility between the two leaders.两位领导人表现出公开的敌意。
• His hostility to your plan is well known.他对你的计划所持的敌意是众所周知的。

2 culmination   

n.顶点；最高潮

参考例句：

• The space race reached its culmination in the first moon walk.太空竞争以第一次在月球行走而达到顶峰。
• It may truly be regarded as the culmination of classical Greek geometry.这确实可以看成是古典希腊几何的登峰造级之作。

3 breach   

n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破

参考例句：

• We won't have any breach of discipline.我们不允许任何破坏纪律的现象。
• He was sued for breach of contract.他因不履行合同而被起诉。

4 etiquette   

n.礼仪，礼节；规矩

参考例句：

• The rules of etiquette are not so strict nowadays.如今的礼仪规则已不那么严格了。
• According to etiquette,you should stand up to meet a guest.按照礼节你应该站起来接待客人。

5 outraged   

a.震惊的，义愤填膺的

参考例句：

• Members of Parliament were outraged by the news of the assassination. 议会议员们被这暗杀的消息激怒了。
• He was outraged by their behavior. 他们的行为使他感到愤慨。

6 propriety   

n.正当行为；正当；适当

参考例句：

• We hesitated at the propriety of the method.我们对这种办法是否适用拿不定主意。
• The sensitive matter was handled with great propriety.这件机密的事处理得极为适当。

7 instinctively   

adv.本能地

参考例句：

• As he leaned towards her she instinctively recoiled. 他向她靠近，她本能地往后缩。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He knew instinctively where he would find her. 他本能地知道在哪儿能找到她。 来自《简明英汉词典》

8 piazza   

n.广场；走廊

参考例句：

• Siena's main piazza was one of the sights of Italy.锡耶纳的主要广场是意大利的名胜之一。
• They walked out of the cafeteria,and across the piazzadj.他们走出自助餐厅,穿过广场。

9 smelt   

v.熔解，熔炼；n.银白鱼，胡瓜鱼

参考例句：

• Tin is a comparatively easy metal to smelt.锡是比较容易熔化的金属。
• Darby was looking for a way to improve iron when he hit upon the idea of smelting it with coke instead of charcoal.达比一直在寻找改善铁质的方法，他猛然想到可以不用木炭熔炼，而改用焦炭。

10 irrelevant   

adj.不恰当的，无关系的，不相干的

参考例句：

• That is completely irrelevant to the subject under discussion.这跟讨论的主题完全不相关。
• A question about arithmetic is irrelevant in a music lesson.在音乐课上，一个数学的问题是风马牛不相及的。

11 reassuring   

a.使人消除恐惧和疑虑的，使人放心的

参考例句：

• He gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder. 他轻拍了一下她的肩膀让她放心。
• With a reassuring pat on her arm, he left. 他鼓励地拍了拍她的手臂就离开了。

12 inevitable   

adj.不可避免的，必然发生的

参考例句：

• Mary was wearing her inevitable large hat.玛丽戴着她总是戴的那顶大帽子。
• The defeat had inevitable consequences for British policy.战败对英国政策不可避免地产生了影响。

13 agitated   

adj.被鼓动的，不安的

参考例句：

• His answers were all mixed up,so agitated was he.他是那样心神不定，回答全乱了。
• She was agitated because her train was an hour late.她乘坐的火车晚点一个小时，她十分焦虑。

14 cypresses   

n.柏属植物，柏树( cypress的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Green and luxuriant are the pines and cypresses. 苍松翠柏郁郁葱葱。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• Before them stood a grove of tall cypresses. 前面是一个大坝子，种了许多株高大的松树。 来自汉英文学 - 家（1-26） - 家（1-26）

15 cloisters   

n.（学院、修道院、教堂等建筑的）走廊( cloister的名词复数 )；回廊；修道院的生活；隐居v.隐退，使与世隔绝( cloister的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• The thirteenth-century cloisters are amongst the most beautiful in central Italy. 这些13世纪的回廊是意大利中部最美的建筑。 来自辞典例句
• Some lovely Christian Science ladies had invited her to a concert at the cloisters. 有几位要好的基督教科学社的女士请她去修道院音乐厅听一个音乐会。 来自辞典例句

16 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

17 chivalry   

n.骑士气概，侠义；（男人）对女人彬彬有礼，献殷勤

参考例句：

• The Middle Ages were also the great age of chivalry.中世纪也是骑士制度盛行的时代。
• He looked up at them with great chivalry.他非常有礼貌地抬头瞧她们。

18 exhaustion   

n.耗尽枯竭，疲惫，筋疲力尽，竭尽，详尽无遗的论述

参考例句：

• She slept the sleep of exhaustion.她因疲劳而酣睡。
• His exhaustion was obvious when he fell asleep standing.他站着睡着了，显然是太累了。